Stressing, Should I Get Ex Valentine Flowers?

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EDesq
EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
in Chit-Chat
We have been separated for almost 2 years. We went through some hard times together and she cared for Me through a bad illness, she was wonderful, she even financially supported Me! When the illness was over we just seem to drift apart emotionally, and eventually separated. She recently emailed Me and said that it took her a while to process our relationship and now she is ready to reach out; I had phoned her and emailed her a few times before during that 2 yrs, but she never responded. The "funny" thing is that I went to her FaceBook page and she is in a new relationship (for over a year). So it took her about 2 months After we broke up for her to start over.

So why contact Me now? I told her that I could not play the "friend" or acquaintance role because I had loved her so deeply (we were together 5 yrs.). But something is telling Me that she needs some type of emotional support now. I am so confused because I sure want her back but she has someone and I do not want to interfere. I want to send her flowers because of our past and how well and good she was to Me. I want her to know that I can't do the "friend" thing but i am here for her.

Any Opinions, suggestions...I am so confused, Help!
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Replies

  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
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    I would say no flowers...Just let the friend thing develop naturally.
  • tamora13
    tamora13 Posts: 251
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    I would let it go. She's with someone else and it could just end up with u having a broken heart. My opinion
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
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    Sounds like you need to cut ties and move on yourself. There's a reason you guys broke up. You are her familiar ground and if things with the new guy aren't going great then she is going to turn to you becuase she knows you'll be there. I say no.......and tell her that she needs to find her own way. I know that sounds harsh, but you gotta focus on you first before anyone else.
  • SmartWhatever
    SmartWhatever Posts: 718 Member
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    Let it go and move on. She has someone else.
  • strawberrytoast
    strawberrytoast Posts: 711 Member
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    No, move on and forget about her
  • 5stringjeff
    5stringjeff Posts: 790 Member
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    No flowers. No calls. No nothing.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    Sounds like you need to cut ties and move on yourself. There's a reason you guys broke up. You are her familiar ground and if things with the new guy aren't going great then she is going to turn to you becuase she knows you'll be there. I say no.......and tell her that she needs to find her own way. I know that sounds harsh, but you gotta focus on you first before anyone else.


    This was My first instinct, but I hate to think that she is in some type of emotional pain and needs affirming and no one will help her. But as bad as I want to be with her, I know we had some MAJOR problems that is why we broke up. Thanks for some sound advice!
  • tanyakay87
    tanyakay87 Posts: 223 Member
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    No flowers. I find the best way to deal with a difficult situation is to put yourself in their shoes.

    Would you want an ex hanging around, sending you flowers when you were with someone new? Not fair on their partner either.

    Sounds like she is confused and wants the best of both worlds. I think you'd be setting yourself up for more heartache if you did start something with her again - even friendship.

    Good luck with it xx
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
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    Look at it this way: if you were still with her, would you like it if her ex-boyfriend sent her flowers for Valentine's Day?

    If she is in another relationship, then just let it go. You tried to contact her in the past, and she ignored you. Just because she wants something from you now doesn't mean you need to be on stand-by.
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
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    no way jose! that would be a very bad move, it's time to let go of the past and move on with your life. you can be thankful to her but sending her flowers is pushing it a little bit. just send her some positive karma instead.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    No, especially if she is in a relationship.
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    step away, she is bored or its not what she thought, you are her option, don't go there, not even for a visit
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
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    No. If she's in another relationship, let it go. She shouldn't have contacted you in the first place and made you feel like she needed your emotional support but everyone makes mistakes and if she didn't respond to your attempts to contact her after that she probably realized that she messed up.

    Move on, don't let her string you along or confuse you, I don't know your ex but I know a few choice people that like to have that kind of emotional power over someone even though they have no business with it anymore.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    No. Move on. No flowers.....no card......no nada. If you want write her tomorrow and tell her happy Tuesday. You have no reason to even tell her Happy Valentines Day.



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  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
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    NO.

    NO.

    NO.

    NO.

    Understand?

    Step away from the EX.

    Move on.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    i find it hard to believe anyone would read the OP and honestly say, "flowers sound like a great idea!"

    it's obvious you still care for her, and maybe just send her a small note saying something like:

    "I will always care for you and if you need me i will be there for you. However, so that i may be able to move on, I cannot be a day-to-day friend. I am you 'in case of emergency, break glass' friend."
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
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    How would you feel if your girlfriend's ex sent her flowers for VDay?

    Don't make things uncomfortable for her because then she'll fully push you away.
  • LittleMissNerdy
    LittleMissNerdy Posts: 792 Member
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    No. And I think you're trying to read into this more then you need to be.
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
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    I only read the title... and my answer is

    *kitten* NO!

    ....

    I've since read the rest and my answer is...

    you're insane for thinking this way... *kitten* NO!

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