Lost 56 lbs and no one noticed!!!

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abutterflyemerges
abutterflyemerges Posts: 101 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I recently went to a birthday party and there was family there who had not seen me since I had lost weight. I was hoping for some type of encouragement or anything like "hey you lost some weight you look great". Last time my family saw me I was 56lbs heavier. My sister who is younger than me and was 160lbs lost like 40lbs in 4 months doing nothing. I admit she looks awfully thin. But it kind of angered me that she did nothing to achieve this and I have been exercising like everyday, eating right and just sticking to it. I thought I had looked great when I arrived at the party. But when my family showed up and praised her for her efforts and told her how fantastic she looked I felt like crawling into a little hole. What is weird is that its been like that for me. I lose an average of 1-2 lbs per week. So yes it is slow progress. I am proud of myself. I just wish my family was too. I feel alone because no one notices the changes and achievements I made. I come to believe that maybe I was so damn fat that the 56lbs doesn't really make a dent in my looks or something. I know I probably sound like a whiner or a crybaby so I admit I am. But this journey for me has been hard as I am sure you can all relate and family approval and encouragement is what I really want at this time.

I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else has had this happen to them. Do you lose weight and no one notices it??
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Replies

  • KarenECunningham
    KarenECunningham Posts: 419 Member
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    It takes awhile for people to notice when I lose weight too. I usually get remarks about my hair (for example: "Did you do something different to your hair"?) I want to say, "Yes I shrunk my body that is holding it up" Of course I don't say it but I sure think it :laugh:
  • TalonaCat
    TalonaCat Posts: 241
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    I think everyone knows that person. You know the one. The one who can do zilch and look like a million bucks.

    In this case, that seems to be your sister.

    But while she's accepting all that praise for doing nothing, remember this:

    You've worked, and you've worked HARD to get where you are now. Can she really say the same for herself?

    Be proud of yourself. Because there's always going to be people like me who find you inspirational. :)
  • kas1021
    kas1021 Posts: 92
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    its ok. youre doing this for you! not for what other people think (but yes, the compliments are awesome). ive lost 36 lbs since january and the other day my mom looked at me and said "you look tired...no, no..you just look bad".
    i have to laugh about it. haha screw what anyone thinks. i'm on my way to being healthy :] and so are you.
  • girliegirl1822
    girliegirl1822 Posts: 164 Member
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    hang in there and keep it up people will notice :)
  • durbanski
    durbanski Posts: 183 Member
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    I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else has had this happen to them. Do you lose weight and no one notices it??

    All the time!
  • kiffypooh
    kiffypooh Posts: 1,045 Member
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    I'm not sure where you started at, but I started at the 250's and it took 30 lbs before any one noticed. it's hard to do this (and I will admit that I don't) but ultimately you are doing it for yourself, so don't worry about your family. That being said, I'm so sorry you didn't have your expectations filled. Know that you are doing it the right way, the healthy way and the best way. If the weight "fell" off your sister, it will climb back on. I'm sure you look amazing, and your doctor will be as proud of all of us on MFP are of you!!!! Look for your support here, we are here for you!!!
  • tree79
    tree79 Posts: 6
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    I understand! I have only lost 9 so far. My friends from work have noticed and are complimenting me on how much better I look, but I went to see part of my husband's family last week and part of them this week, and no one said anything, even though to myself and to my friends that 9 little pounds is so obvious. I'm sure that you look wonderful, and it's too bad that they're not acknowledging your accomplishment! Hang in there!
  • dragonflyjill
    dragonflyjill Posts: 94 Member
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    I have lost 29 pounds and you can't really tell. No one has really noticed, so yes I know how you feel. 29 pounds! The weight of a toddler I know! But I feel better, my clothes fit better, and I am just getting started!
  • pawprint061
    pawprint061 Posts: 640
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    Hm..I must be the opposite lol. When I see people who I haven't see in a while they always compliment on how much I've lost... well that's nice and all but the funny thing is that I haven't really lost any more from the last time they saw me..... so it's like why are complimenting me when I haven't change? I think they do it just to be nice some times.... but it kinda bugs me.

    There is a difference though in my body...just because I lost the pounds doesn't mean I'm smaller in my eyes... it's the inches that I've lost to me is what matters.
  • riveraphx
    riveraphx Posts: 380 Member
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    You know what, I bet you look WONDERFUL!! Sometimes our family members are so braindead!! I lost all my weight and my dad walked around the room telling everyone hi, and I was like hey aren't you going to say hi to me??? Then he proceeds to go on about how big I was before he didn't recognize me...argh!!

    It's awesome how our body transforms on the outside, but remember the way you have lost weight is the healthy way. So your sister may of had a quick fix, but I am sure you have learned a tremendous about nutrition, weight loss, and most important about yourself.

    Smile!!! I'm so proud of you, as I am everyone on this site that motivates and inspires me daily.
  • happy_angi09
    happy_angi09 Posts: 46 Member
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    I was just thinkin the same thing like 10 minutes ago! I've been around some people lately that I haven't seen in a while. I can't really see a big difference in the weight I've lost but I thought it was because I see myself everyday, but no one seems to notice. We just gotta keep it up and we will make them notice! :smile:
  • Fancy_Nancy2
    Fancy_Nancy2 Posts: 545 Member
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    My family is not very supportive in anything I do hell she didn't even congratulate me on becoming pregnant . My mom tells me all the time if your fat that is how it is going to be so just eat your cake. I don't agree with her to say the least. But I say family is a hard crowd to please and they don't want to say anything unless it is huge. I get my praise from my friends they know how hard i work and they are more there for me then my family.
  • jw17695
    jw17695 Posts: 438 Member
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    Fantastic job! Screw them. You don't need their approval or encouragment. You are kicking butt and you know it! Don't rely on other people to tell you how you should feel because you already know it! Embrace your efforts!
  • natspoiledbrat
    natspoiledbrat Posts: 133
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    First of all Congratulations! 56 lbs is a lot and I know how hard it is. Sometimes people don't say anything because they are unsure how to say in a tactful way.............or they are worried that you might take offense to it. You could be on the other side of the spectrum were people dwell on how much weight I have lost and you absolutely hate it. People go on and on, and I start to wonder, gosh did they just think I was a fat nobody..............I could see the same person 20 times in one day and they will tell me 20 times how skinny I'm getting.............at over 200 lbs, I don't think that I am by any means skinny.............a lot thinner than I used to be, but not skinny! You have to know that when you look in the mirror that you see the change, you know how hard you have worked and that you did this for you...........not them!
  • kalmf
    kalmf Posts: 351 Member
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    Congratulations on your weight loss. It sounds like you needed to vent, and now will carry on with your own journey. Those moments are tests and give us an opportunity to remember why we're doing this and who we're doing it for. Your sister's on her own path, other people noticing her loss has nothing to do with you. You can still be supportive to each other even if you are doing this in different ways.
  • confuseacat
    confuseacat Posts: 137 Member
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    The old saying goes. "you can choose your friends ,but you can't choose your family" Family has the tendency to make us feel awkward or unappriciated at times. Other wise holidays wouldn't be so dreaded :grumble:
    My friends have always been my positive support group, my family not so much. Just remember that this is your life and you are doing this for yourself and it doesn't really matter if they notice or approve or whatever. I know that it hurts sometimes but just remember you owe it to yourself to feel good about what you have accomplished.:flowerforyou:
  • pixiestick
    pixiestick Posts: 839 Member
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    Looking good for others is a side effect to the real reason we do what we do.

    A person can look skinny and not be healthy. You are building habits that your sister isn't, habits like discipline, will-power, and self-control.

    Are you feeling better without that extra fat around your heart? Is it nicer for your knees not to be lugging around the extra weight? If the answer is "yes," then laugh off the lack of observance from your family and rest assured that the person who really matters does notice and deeply appreciates your efforts: you.

    Run on.
  • Changes4Life
    Changes4Life Posts: 30
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    "The most important opinion you have is the one you have of yourself." - unknown

    Congrats on the 56 lbs. That is an awesome accomlishment! Your sister might have lost but she didn't do it the hard way...and in the long run it won't mean as much or be as important as it is for you. Because you will have worked hard and learned things along the journey. That is what is important. Anybody can lose weight...but to learn why you gained it, how to lose it and what makes you strong along the way is what will last. Keep your chin up...not all families are the Hallmark version of what we hope they would be or what we want them to say. My mom is awesome...my dad however..a little slow if not non-existent on the compliments. That is ok though...because I know I am worth this and I know that only I can make myself happy deep down. Losing for me is what will make me happy deep down. Don't worry about if they notice..yes it is nice...but look inside to find your words of encouragement. Look how far they have gotten you! 56 lbs far! Your MPF family is here for you and we will give you any and all words of encouragement you could need also. You are not alone in this journey. You are among friends!

    I needed to read this post tonight. I was going to bed and something told me to come back on here. I am having a hard time right now. I think things happen for a reason...and tonight you were my "thing happening for a reason". I am worth so much more than I believe sometimes as well.

    Have a goodnight!
  • LifeAfter50
    LifeAfter50 Posts: 38
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    Sorry your family did not notice the over 50 lb weight loss....:angry::angry: :angry: :angry: ... We all look to others for those encouraging words....Most of the time it is family.....

    But please know all of us on here...:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: know that you worked very hard for that weight loss..:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: .. and PLEASE keep up the hard work....:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: . it really is showing.... and they will see it.... and then they will say WOW look at you......when did you start losing all of that weight.... Then you can just smile and say oh you noticed... :heart: :heart: :heart:

    Have a super day tomorrow!!!!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • CallieM15
    CallieM15 Posts: 910 Member
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    No one noticed when i went from 200 to 170, and then after 170-166lbs EVERYONE noticed.

    Hang in there. I bet you look great! I hateee those people who loose without trying!!

    Callie

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