Lost 56 lbs and no one noticed!!!

abutterflyemerges

I recently went to a birthday party and there was family there who had not seen me since I had lost weight. I was hoping for some type of encouragement or anything like "hey you lost some weight you look great". Last time my family saw me I was 56lbs heavier. My sister who is younger than me and was 160lbs lost like 40lbs in 4 months doing nothing. I admit she looks awfully thin. But it kind of angered me that she did nothing to achieve this and I have been exercising like everyday, eating right and just sticking to it. I thought I had looked great when I arrived at the party. But when my family showed up and praised her for her efforts and told her how fantastic she looked I felt like crawling into a little hole. What is weird is that its been like that for me. I lose an average of 1-2 lbs per week. So yes it is slow progress. I am proud of myself. I just wish my family was too. I feel alone because no one notices the changes and achievements I made. I come to believe that maybe I was so damn fat that the 56lbs doesn't really make a dent in my looks or something. I know I probably sound like a whiner or a crybaby so I admit I am. But this journey for me has been hard as I am sure you can all relate and family approval and encouragement is what I really want at this time.

I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else has had this happen to them. Do you lose weight and no one notices it??

KarenECunningham

It takes awhile for people to notice when I lose weight too. I usually get remarks about my hair (for example: "Did you do something different to your hair"?) I want to say, "Yes I shrunk my body that is holding it up" Of course I don't say it but I sure think it :laugh:

TalonaCat

I think everyone knows that person. You know the one. The one who can do zilch and look like a million bucks.

In this case, that seems to be your sister.

But while she's accepting all that praise for doing nothing, remember this:

You've worked, and you've worked HARD to get where you are now. Can she really say the same for herself?

Be proud of yourself. Because there's always going to be people like me who find you inspirational.

kas1021

its ok. youre doing this for you! not for what other people think (but yes, the compliments are awesome). ive lost 36 lbs since january and the other day my mom looked at me and said "you look tired...no, no..you just look bad".
i have to laugh about it. haha screw what anyone thinks. i'm on my way to being healthy :] and so are you.

girliegirl1822

hang in there and keep it up people will notice

durbanski

I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else has had this happen to them. Do you lose weight and no one notices it??

All the time!

kiffypooh

I'm not sure where you started at, but I started at the 250's and it took 30 lbs before any one noticed. it's hard to do this (and I will admit that I don't) but ultimately you are doing it for yourself, so don't worry about your family. That being said, I'm so sorry you didn't have your expectations filled. Know that you are doing it the right way, the healthy way and the best way. If the weight "fell" off your sister, it will climb back on. I'm sure you look amazing, and your doctor will be as proud of all of us on MFP are of you!!!! Look for your support here, we are here for you!!!

tree79

I understand! I have only lost 9 so far. My friends from work have noticed and are complimenting me on how much better I look, but I went to see part of my husband's family last week and part of them this week, and no one said anything, even though to myself and to my friends that 9 little pounds is so obvious. I'm sure that you look wonderful, and it's too bad that they're not acknowledging your accomplishment! Hang in there!

dragonflyjill

I have lost 29 pounds and you can't really tell. No one has really noticed, so yes I know how you feel. 29 pounds! The weight of a toddler I know! But I feel better, my clothes fit better, and I am just getting started!

pawprint061

Hm..I must be the opposite lol. When I see people who I haven't see in a while they always compliment on how much I've lost... well that's nice and all but the funny thing is that I haven't really lost any more from the last time they saw me..... so it's like why are complimenting me when I haven't change? I think they do it just to be nice some times.... but it kinda bugs me.

There is a difference though in my body...just because I lost the pounds doesn't mean I'm smaller in my eyes... it's the inches that I've lost to me is what matters.

riveraphx

You know what, I bet you look WONDERFUL!! Sometimes our family members are so braindead!! I lost all my weight and my dad walked around the room telling everyone hi, and I was like hey aren't you going to say hi to me??? Then he proceeds to go on about how big I was before he didn't recognize me...argh!!

It's awesome how our body transforms on the outside, but remember the way you have lost weight is the healthy way. So your sister may of had a quick fix, but I am sure you have learned a tremendous about nutrition, weight loss, and most important about yourself.

Smile!!! I'm so proud of you, as I am everyone on this site that motivates and inspires me daily.

happy_angi09

I was just thinkin the same thing like 10 minutes ago! I've been around some people lately that I haven't seen in a while. I can't really see a big difference in the weight I've lost but I thought it was because I see myself everyday, but no one seems to notice. We just gotta keep it up and we will make them notice!

Fancy_Nancy2

My family is not very supportive in anything I do hell she didn't even congratulate me on becoming pregnant . My mom tells me all the time if your fat that is how it is going to be so just eat your cake. I don't agree with her to say the least. But I say family is a hard crowd to please and they don't want to say anything unless it is huge. I get my praise from my friends they know how hard i work and they are more there for me then my family.

jw17695

Fantastic job! Screw them. You don't need their approval or encouragment. You are kicking butt and you know it! Don't rely on other people to tell you how you should feel because you already know it! Embrace your efforts!

natspoiledbrat

First of all Congratulations! 56 lbs is a lot and I know how hard it is. Sometimes people don't say anything because they are unsure how to say in a tactful way.............or they are worried that you might take offense to it. You could be on the other side of the spectrum were people dwell on how much weight I have lost and you absolutely hate it. People go on and on, and I start to wonder, gosh did they just think I was a fat nobody..............I could see the same person 20 times in one day and they will tell me 20 times how skinny I'm getting.............at over 200 lbs, I don't think that I am by any means skinny.............a lot thinner than I used to be, but not skinny! You have to know that when you look in the mirror that you see the change, you know how hard you have worked and that you did this for you...........not them!

kalmf

Congratulations on your weight loss. It sounds like you needed to vent, and now will carry on with your own journey. Those moments are tests and give us an opportunity to remember why we're doing this and who we're doing it for. Your sister's on her own path, other people noticing her loss has nothing to do with you. You can still be supportive to each other even if you are doing this in different ways.

confuseacat

The old saying goes. "you can choose your friends ,but you can't choose your family" Family has the tendency to make us feel awkward or unappriciated at times. Other wise holidays wouldn't be so dreaded :grumble:
My friends have always been my positive support group, my family not so much. Just remember that this is your life and you are doing this for yourself and it doesn't really matter if they notice or approve or whatever. I know that it hurts sometimes but just remember you owe it to yourself to feel good about what you have accomplished.:flowerforyou:

pixiestick

Looking good for others is a side effect to the real reason we do what we do.

A person can look skinny and not be healthy. You are building habits that your sister isn't, habits like discipline, will-power, and self-control.

Are you feeling better without that extra fat around your heart? Is it nicer for your knees not to be lugging around the extra weight? If the answer is "yes," then laugh off the lack of observance from your family and rest assured that the person who really matters does notice and deeply appreciates your efforts: you.

Run on.

Changes4Life

"The most important opinion you have is the one you have of yourself." - unknown

Congrats on the 56 lbs. That is an awesome accomlishment! Your sister might have lost but she didn't do it the hard way...and in the long run it won't mean as much or be as important as it is for you. Because you will have worked hard and learned things along the journey. That is what is important. Anybody can lose weight...but to learn why you gained it, how to lose it and what makes you strong along the way is what will last. Keep your chin up...not all families are the Hallmark version of what we hope they would be or what we want them to say. My mom is awesome...my dad however..a little slow if not non-existent on the compliments. That is ok though...because I know I am worth this and I know that only I can make myself happy deep down. Losing for me is what will make me happy deep down. Don't worry about if they notice..yes it is nice...but look inside to find your words of encouragement. Look how far they have gotten you! 56 lbs far! Your MPF family is here for you and we will give you any and all words of encouragement you could need also. You are not alone in this journey. You are among friends!

I needed to read this post tonight. I was going to bed and something told me to come back on here. I am having a hard time right now. I think things happen for a reason...and tonight you were my "thing happening for a reason". I am worth so much more than I believe sometimes as well.

Have a goodnight!

LifeAfter50

Sorry your family did not notice the over 50 lb weight loss.... ... We all look to others for those encouraging words....Most of the time it is family.....

But please know all of us on here...:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: know that you worked very hard for that weight loss..:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: .. and PLEASE keep up the hard work....:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: . it really is showing.... and they will see it.... and then they will say WOW look at you......when did you start losing all of that weight.... Then you can just smile and say oh you noticed...

Have a super day tomorrow!!!!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:

CallieM15

No one noticed when i went from 200 to 170, and then after 170-166lbs EVERYONE noticed.

Hang in there. I bet you look great! I hateee those people who loose without trying!!

Callie

abutterflyemerges

I wanted to thank all of you who had posted a response to my message. As I sit here reading all of your post I am filled with tears and happiness that there is someone out there who understands me and that I am not alone in this journey. After I posted the message I have to admit I felt very sad and tonight I gave up for the first time in 4 months. I exercise 7 days a week and tonight I did no such thing. I also follow a very strict 1200 calorie diet and tonight I said "screw it". But after doing that and feeling horrible about what I did I came to my computer and read all the post that poured in. I am overwhelmed with support and love from you all and feel that I am over this hump and can go on and finish what I started. I have to keep reminding myself that there is support among people I do not even know and that we are all here for the same reason. Wouldn't it be nice to be actual "live" friends.

Thank you all again, you have touched me and given the courage and strength to keep going.

Keltinator

ah, yes. i was commenting on how my belts were getting looser now, and my mom said that they must have stretched... i was like, NO, it's actually because i've lost a couple inches off my waist. thanks, mom.

keep working hard towards your goals! people will definitely notice.

Tamishumate

if it helps any, I saw someone today who I had seen in a few years and she didnt say one word about it. I went up to her, said hello , so and so, and she just looked at me, then looked at my name tag, ( she came into the store I work at) and said, "ohhh yeah, thats right, you work here" . then she went on to tell me what she was looking for. She said not one thing, not, ohh you have lost weight , nothing. and yes, I have lost almost 160 pounds since she last saw me.
She on the other hand had put some weight on, so maybe she was just uncomfortable with it??
Maybe your family is uncomfortable with your weight loss, and doesnt know what to say to you? somepeople are like that.

whatever the reasoning, just know that what you have done is wonderful, and you should be so proud of yourself!! dont let them bring you down, just look in the mirror and know how great your doing!

sboothe24

If you have any before and after pictures, post them on here. We will compliment you. 56lbs is a big change. I'm sorry the couldnt notice your hard work! We are all proud of you!

44flasher44

Great for you! I have been there and had that exact thing happen to me. I was on weight watchers for about 4-5months and lost about 25lbs and I can count on one hand how many people noticed or said anything. However at one of our meetings a member brought up a good point--some people do not acknowledge your weight loss because possibly deep down they are envious of you! As long as you feel good that is all that matters but I do know that a compliment here or there makes you feel better and gives you more motivation.

PecanTan

Hang in there, just remember there is always something in our way trying to make us turn back and head in the other direction. Don't you do it, so what if your family did not notice or maybe they did and just did not know what or how to say anything to you, whatever the case may be you have done a wonderful and hard thing. I know that you know how hard it is to lose one pound but you lost 56 girl you need to celebrate regardless if it's not with your family then the MFP family will party with you all the way till you reach your goal. Congrats and keep your head up. The MFP family is always here and we all so proud and happy for you.....

kwardklinck

Yes it happens. People don't really notice until you get close to your goal. I think it takes awhile for your body to settle in to your new size though. I usually start getting the compliments several weeks after I've lost anything. The important thing is that you're doing it in a healthy way that will last. Don't worry about what your sister is doing. I'm sure she did "something". It probably wasn't the right thing but people don't just lose 40 pounds doing "nothing".

Lisa0711

I've been there too. I lost about 35 pounds before anyone noticed. I figured 10 or 15 pounds would really stand out, but it doesn't: for some reason it just takes a while (sometimes) for people to pick up on. I know lately every 2-3 pounds I lose people notice. It seems most people just have a point where before it, others can't see the weight loss, but when you reach it people can't help but notice! Just keep it up and I'm sure everyone will be able to tell. Either way I bet you feel 100 times better than you did before!! Let that be your inspiration. You're doing great!!

My boyfriend's mom used to complement me all the time and tell me I looked like a model and tell me how pretty I was about 50 pounds heavier. This would happen every time I saw her, and she would go on and on about it. I never, ever agreed with her at all. I didn't like the way I looked and I wasn't happy with myself. But now that I've lost 50 pounds, she never gives me compliments anymore. What's that all about? I mean I don't need her to compliment me, but I think I look a lot better now than I did then, so if it was worth mentioning then, why not now? Ya know? It makes me feel like she just wanted me to THINK I looked good and stay big forever. Oh well... who knows.. people are strange.

Murdog

First congratulations on your progress!!
Y'know, several months ago, I was at work. There was a female co-worker here, that I thought she was doing something different and I had noticed something different about her. I wanted to compliment her on whatever it was she was doing different, because, she did look great.

So, not really sure how to go about bringing it up to her, I just went up to her and asked " have you lost weight, or are working out? Because, whatever it is you're doing, you do look great." She replied, no...I'm not doing a thing." She smiled, and left.

My partner in my section just shook his head and said "Jeff-Jeff... come here, man!" What are you doing?" I told him.. that,
'well--she looked great and I wanted to compliment her on it." He told me... that I shouldn't have said anything about weight, because now, she'll probably wonder 'if I did nothing to look better... what did I look like before?" And now she'll probably feel self-concious about it. Well, after that, I felt horrible. I wanted to say something to her, but I figured I said enough, so I left it alone.

The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel weird, I wanted to commend her. I still ticks me off that I didn't say what I ment to say, 'yknow?!
Hopefully, she has already forgotten about it, and I'm the only one still kicking myself over it.

Have a great day, everybody!

SageGoddess320

I think that sometimes people do not compliment others on their weight loss (even when they DO notice) because it's like telling that person that they thought they were fat to begin with. They might just be afraid that you could take it the wrong way or your feelings could be hurt.