Dating & dieting?

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UrbanLotus
UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
in Chit-Chat
How does this work? Previously when I've been trying to lose weight, I wasn't as dedicated so I would eat whatever I wanted on dates, drink alcohol etc. But now I am really counting calories and want it to stay that way, so how do I deal with dates - as far as deciding where we go, explaining why I'm eating light/not drinking etc?

I don't want to come across as uptight or someone who can't have fun - as I'm def not any of those things :P. And please don't say just cheat/eat whatever I want, I don't want to do that.

Started thinking about this because I have a (first) date on Saturday - I agreed to meet for drinks...but I now I'm thinking, I'm not going to drink so it might be weird for him? Personally it doesn't bother me as I'm not a big drinker, am content hanging out and sipping a diet coke - but my date might think its odd. Should I just say I'm on a health kick? I also don't want to draw any attention to the fact that i need to lose weight, its embarassing to address it you know :(
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  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    Anyone? I know some of yall must have some advice! :)
  • Xelace
    Xelace Posts: 18
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    I'd just go for the good old truth.
    You stated you're not a big drinker, so you should tell him that at the bare minimum...

    Good luck!
  • WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr
    WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr Posts: 2,150 Member
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    I am not a drinker, especially when I am out and know I have to drive myself home and have occasionally been on call for work when I've gone on a first date. I don't explain why I am not drinking unless asked. If he asks I will simply say that I don't like to drink alcohol when I am driving later. If he doesn't understand, than this is not a person I want to be with.
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
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    Why would your date think that not drinking is weird? Lots of people do not drink. I would just say, "I don't eat that or I don't drink that". You shouldn't have to explain your eating habits. They are your own and we each have our differences. I hope that your date turns out well.
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
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    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.
  • deniseblossoms
    deniseblossoms Posts: 373 Member
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    Would you be willing to make it into an active date? Bowling? Miniature Golf? Roller Skating? Or whatever activity appeals to your sense of fun.
  • imadyer
    imadyer Posts: 145 Member
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    Would you be willing to make it into an active date? Bowling? Miniature Golf? Roller Skating? Or whatever activity appeals to your sense of fun.

    I agree. Also, you can always eat light and sensibly beforehand and save up your calories.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
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    Have a couple coolers, allot that into your calories, and explain to him that you're not much of a drinker.
  • strikerjb007
    strikerjb007 Posts: 443 Member
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    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.

    This has NOTHING to do with being in a new relationship. That is just you.

    I am in a new relationship and I haven't gotten sidetracked at all. I stated from the first few dates that fitness and nutrition are important to me. If I feel like, I will eat pizza or a salad or whatever I decide when I am out with her. Sometimes some wine. Whatever, it's my choice and she understands that and under no circumstances that is to be argued.

    Dates that question your eating/drinking habits should be treated just like your fat co-worker who won't stop criticizing you for eating lean meats and veggies at lunch. The boot.

    Furthermore, you can't hide from food. Going out is part of social life. The OP needs to face this and control herself when she's out. IF she can't, then she may have a bigger problem than dating.

    Go out have fun, and control your eating and don't let anyone question it. You don't need to provide explanations for anything. Do you go around asking people why they stuff their face with their sandwiches?
  • Corryn78
    Corryn78 Posts: 215
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    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.

    Seriously?

    Have a fantastic date. You are just as worthy of a great partner now as you will be weighing less.

    If you would like a drink to help break the ice and feel more at ease, try a rum and diet or something with club soda. It won't be that many calories. When the second round comes up, just get a diet or water. I don't think your date will even care.

    Again, enjoy. Exciting stuff :)

    ETA: I met the one for me at 33, from a dating website. I was and still am overweight, but we exercise and cook healthy together.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    Why would your date think that not drinking is weird? Lots of people do not drink. I would just say, "I don't eat that or I don't drink that". You shouldn't have to explain your eating habits. They are your own and we each have our differences. I hope that your date turns out well.

    Just because going out "for drinks", at a wine bar lol. If it was dinner or something else it would be fine
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.

    Eh, I don't really believe in putting things off in life - if I wanted to be at my ideal weight before I dated, I would have never dated anyone yet and I'm 33! I've never had a problem dating before, I just am looking for advice on how/whether to address it. I see what you're saying but its not my life philosophy at all, you know?
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    ETA: I met the one for me at 33, from a dating website. I was and still am overweight, but we exercise and cook healthy together. [\quote]

    This is great, maybe I'll be able to say the same :). Can i ask how you handled this, did you say something about dieting?

    I know I don't *owe* anyone an explanation - but I am a bit of a foodie and a wine lover, so I want to the person to know that about me and not that I'm some uptight girl who doesn't eat or enjoy a glass of wine.
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    yes, both suck
  • fp64
    fp64 Posts: 128 Member
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    Single dad here, two kids, both live with me.
    What's a date?
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
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    You don't need to share your "diet" with him...just eat and drink sensibly and plan ahead for the calories. Enjoy your date!
  • StaceyJ2008
    StaceyJ2008 Posts: 411 Member
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    If you want to drink, then drink. There are numerous lower calorie options, just google it or search it on here.

    Also, If you do get into a "relationship" just try to limit meals out and cook more at home. Also do active things instead of always doing something where you are sitting.

    Have a great time.
  • skcardiog
    skcardiog Posts: 316 Member
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    Tell your date you don t need alcohol because you are getting an ''intoxicating buzz'' just looking deep into his eyes .

    Seriously. Have fun on the date and just be yourself.
  • mgarcia843
    mgarcia843 Posts: 268
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    I would just be honest, personally I would see it as a positive, it's good to take care of yourself.

    I was on a date a while ago and we went to a restaurant, got there pretty early but they had a little lounge, my date just came out and said "Don't think I'm being a snob or anything but I just started really watching what I eat so if I order small don't be mad?" And gave me a little rub on the arm.

    After that I could care less what she ordered I though that was just so genuine and charming.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Don't explain. Have a glass of wine (90-125 cals, depending on type) and just sip it

    Have a salad with chicken. There's nothing strange about either of those things.

    If you make a big explanation, you'll be the one making it seem weird.

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