Trouble from your family about losing weight/eating healthy?

beetlejuicelover

My dad is my biggest problem. Like last night, my mom decided she wanted burgers for dinner. My dad pulls out the frozen ballpark burger patties and some frozen grilled chicken (not much healthier then the burger but it is a little right?). I asked if I could have one of the chicken. My dad promply told no, I can eat the burger where he can't eat a lot of beef. That would have been fine but after I cooked the burger and sit down to eat he turns to me and says if I want a second sandwich I can have a piece of chicken. When I didn't go make myself a second sandwich he turns to me and goes "I thought you wanted chicken." I didn't neeed a second sandwich so I didn't make it.

Thanks to how little I make with work I get enough to cover bills and buy some food but not enough to last so I normally eat whatever they have for dinner. I know its their food and I should be thankful (and I am) but at the same time why wouldn't he just let me have the chicken in the first place? Why wait until you see me sit down to say something. Then get mad when I don't make a 2nd sandwich. Am I wrong?

I also have another family member who every time he sees me work out or pick a healthier option, rolls his eyes and asks why I bother. I'm never going to lose the weight anyway.

So do you have anyone in your family who gives you trouble? How do you deal with it?

Angela7zFit

I am sorry your family is not supportive. I am not sure if you can change the portion sizes so instead of the whole burger you eat half. Making small adjustments might help you along the way. As for the other family member, some people should just shut up, (sorry to be blunt) sometimes these people are so negative in themselves that is all they have to put out there. I would try to ignore the negative comments.
Good Luck !!!

beetlejuicelover

I have cut down on how much I eat. I've taken to using my nieces plates so I make sure I don't get to much. I was so hungry last night (only an apple and string cheese for lunch) though I ate the whole burger. Next time we have it though I'll cut it in half. I didn't think to do that.

Oh nap time is over, gotta get off if here.

ToFatToBeSick

I have a few issues with my family as well.

My sister has always weighed less than me up until say August of last year. She would always make comments about how her clothing is smaller then mine and so on. When I started losing weight there wasn't an issue until I weighed in under 200 pounds, she was wearing a size 15 and my size 12 were to big for me while I was 7 months pregnant. She gets mad when I talk about calorie counting and eating healthy. I NEVER comment on what she eats and never tell her to watch her calories. I don't tell her to watch serving sizes or anything. However, it seems to bother her when I refuse to eat something that is high in calories, when I measure out my portions or talk about fitness in general. She talks about how she wants to change her health but doesn't make an effort and then takes her anger out on me for making the change by trying to make me feel bad about eating right.

beetlejuicelover

I have a few issues with my family as well.

My sister has always weighed less than me up until say August of last year. She would always make comments about how her clothing is smaller then mine and so on. When I started losing weight there wasn't an issue until I weighed in under 200 pounds, she was wearing a size 15 and my size 12 were to big for me while I was 7 months pregnant. She gets mad when I talk about calorie counting and eating healthy. I NEVER comment on what she eats and never tell her to watch her calories. I don't tell her to watch serving sizes or anything. However, it seems to bother her when I refuse to eat something that is high in calories, when I measure out my portions or talk about fitness in general. She talks about how she wants to change her health but doesn't make an effort and then takes her anger out on me for making the change by trying to make me feel bad about eating right.

*hugs* I'm sorry

Meagan_H1977

I also have another family member who every time he sees me work out or pick a healthier option, rolls his eyes and asks why I bother. I'm never going to lose the weight anyway.

I am new here so I'm scrolling through the forums for the first time, but when people have said stuff like this to me in the past, it made me motivated to prove them wrong. They are wrong, I am right, tough for them. I'm not a proponent of tough love, but I do like showing others up that don't believe in me. In a weird way, their comments motivate me.

beetlejuicelover

I am new here so I'm scrolling through the forums for the first time, but when people have said stuff like this to me in the past, it made me motivated to prove them wrong. They are wrong, I am right, tough for them. I'm not a proponent of tough love, but I do like showing others up that don't believe in me. In a weird way, their comments motivate me.

I'm kinda the same way. The last time he said that I flicked him off and went into my room and did another set of push-ups/jumping jack/whatever exercise I had just stopped doing. I will admit, one thing I can't wait for after I lose this weight is to look at him and say f-u Josh."

wolfelements

My parents are mine. Every time I hang out with them, it's always fast food. My mom's willing to go Subway for me but my step-dad insists on our favorite mexican restraunt, which gives huge portions that due to childhood issues, I feel I have to eat before someone else gets it or it's taken away from me. I offer to cook them something, something healthy, but they always say "oh, no, we'll just grab something" and they ignore my arguments.

So I understand, but the one who posted above me is right. Turn it into a motivation!

pg3ibew

My dad is my biggest problem. Like last night, my mom decided she wanted burgers for dinner. My dad pulls out the frozen ballpark burger patties and some frozen grilled chicken (not much healthier then the burger but it is a little right?). I asked if I could have one of the chicken. My dad promply told no, I can eat the burger where he can't eat a lot of beef. That would have been fine but after I cooked the burger and sit down to eat he turns to me and says if I want a second sandwich I can have a piece of chicken. When I didn't go make myself a second sandwich he turns to me and goes "I thought you wanted chicken." I didn't neeed a second sandwich so I didn't make it.

Thanks to how little I make with work I get enough to cover bills and buy some food but not enough to last so I normally eat whatever they have for dinner. I know its their food and I should be thankful (and I am) but at the same time why wouldn't he just let me have the chicken in the first place? Why wait until you see me sit down to say something. Then get mad when I don't make a 2nd sandwich. Am I wrong?

I also have another family member who every time he sees me work out or pick a healthier option, rolls his eyes and asks why I bother. I'm never going to lose the weight anyway.

So do you have anyone in your family who gives you trouble? How do you deal with it?

You are 25. BUY YOUR OWN FOOD. Problem solved.

Xelace

I feel very lucky to live half a country away from my family when it comes to this issue. Especially now that I don't have gluten or dairy in my diet. I grew up having it every day (even if I've tested positive for both allergy wise) and it's a big part of my family's diet.
This summer I stayed with them for a week (I had gluten and dairy back then, but tried to limit my intake) and bought some food items myself, mostly fruits and a mountain of tomatoes and extra eggs, while I usually found the basics in my mom's fridge or freezer.

With family and people that are close to you, I think the main issue often is that they don't understand. I recommend explaining that this is important and it's what you've decided to do and that their help is needed/wanted for you to reach your goals.
Everyone deserves some understanding and support from their loved ones.
Good luck!

ajourney2beme

Thanks to how little I make with work I get enough to cover bills and buy some food but not enough to last so I normally eat whatever they have for dinner.

You are 25. BUY YOUR OWN FOOD. Problem solved.

Clearly she stated why she can't at the moment. No need to be rude.

OP: If you know you are going to be eating with them at dinner, try to find out what you are having and maybe work around that. You don't have to eat full portions of anything. I've been there with not having control over what I had available to me. You have to make your situation work for you though. Just my opinion. On the mental part of it though (your dad), you may just have to deal with it until you can get out of the situation. You seem to be doing well though when you refused to make another sandwich just because he said to. Messed up he did that, but some people are just like that and stuck in their ways, especially older generations. If he was living with you, different story .. but I hope you see where I'm going with this. Just my opinion on it.

Good luck.!

riveraphx

I also have another family member who every time he sees me work out or pick a healthier option, rolls his eyes and asks why I bother. I'm never going to lose the weight anyway.

My sister in law told me something similar. She said why do you bother trying to lose weight you're only going to gain it back. I told her I'm not a quitter and I think she got the point.

Use these people as fuel. To prove them wrong. They're secretly envious that you're making positive changes in your life.

ohenry78

Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.

I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.

You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong

bulbadoof

When I started working toward my weight loss goals, nobody took me seriously. My family was polite about it, but they would always offer me fast food or rides to places I was trying to make a point of walking. They had very different reasons for doing it. My boyfriend at the time wanted me to know he loved me just the way I was, my dad was worried I was developing an eating disorder, and my mom mentally equates fast-food with fun due to her own upbringing and just wanted me to enjoy my visits with her. None of these people actively wanted to sabotage my efforts. They all cared about me and wanted what was best for me, but their actions said the opposite of that.

My advice to you is to speak to the people you feel are sabotaging your efforts. Tell them you are doing this for your health and that this is what you want, not what you feel obligated to want by society. Thank them for caring about you, and don't ever entertain the idea that they don't.

Katalyst77

Remember that change makes people feel uncomfortable. This is a GOOD thing! The fact that your family member rolls his eyes when you work out...means that you have made him uncomfortable. He is probably doing some self-reflecting and maybe isnt happy with what he sees in himself. So dont let it phase you a bit. Keep it up!

BeckZombie

I'm in a similar situation. I don't make a lot of money (thus why I still live at home) and can only afford to buy a little bit of my own food, which I mainly eat for breakfast or lunch. On days when I'm not cooking dinner, I try to make sure I have a lot of calories left over for dinner.

bluemoon551

My mom always say that I'm too skinny.. but I'm still overweight. I think she's worried that people will think I'm on drugs, or something.

pg3ibew

Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.

I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.

You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong

You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.

People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.

earlswimsuit

I always used to have this problem that's why I ended up at such a high weight! You need to talk to them. Seriously. Don't mention about how you want to be skinny or anything, talk about the health benefits. You'll live longer, be healthier and so much more confident! If they can't accept that then you're gonna have to learn to cook your own food.... I guess that would be an easier option wouldn't it? And learn to ignore them! Keep looking at before and after weight loss pictures and remember that their words and comments aren't worth your health!

GaiaGirl1992

My dad makes comments about how I'll get thicker if I do *any* weighted core work at the gym, my mom always rolls her eyes and says "you're eating AGAIN?" when I get something from the fridge and it isn't a meal time.

It gets irritating, but do your best to work around your family. Ask your mom if you can make the chicken earlier in the day, then just pull it from the fridge and finish heating it before the meal. Then your dad won't have time to say much before you start eating.

GaiaGirl1992

You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.

People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.

Good for you, she obviously can't. How about you be supportive?

thegeordielass

Sorry you're having problems with your family. Like others have said, portion control is probably your best bet at the moment.


I don't have a family who make it easy either. The problem with my Dad is total apathy. When I hit a milestone (10lbs down, dropped a jeans size) I tell him and at best get a grunt, at worst just get told to leave him alone. He doesn't care about foods so much as while I still live at home, he's away a lot with work so I cook for myself/sister anyway and if we're eating together it tends to involve veg and meat anyway.

My worst problem is my Grandparents - we ended up having a major falling out the other day. I finally got into a size 12 jeans (UK) and when I saw them on Monday was really happy and told them proudly only to be met with looks and a 5 minute lecture on how I'm too skinny, don't need to lose weight, don't know what I'm talking about, look dreadful, look ill, shouldn't bother, am clearly anorexic (at 1700 cals a day of healthy stuff? I think not), am making my Nana ill with worry, etc... It's too much for them to be happy for me and proud. It's taken a lot of work and effort to get this far but I can't win it seems! For years they told me every time I saw them I was fat and needed to lose weight and now I am they still aren't happy - the best part is every other week they're convinced I've put weight on so I get a lecture about eating less. It's very difficult to keep up any sort of motivation when nobody around you cares. But I'm doing this for me not them, so I'll stick with it.

pg3ibew

You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.

People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.

Good for you, she obviously can't. How about you be supportive?

How about we all stop making EXCUSES for her? CAN'T is the excuse for everything. She CAN buy her own food.

ladymiseryali

Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.

I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.

You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong

You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.

People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.

So because you were able to do it at a time when things weren't as expensive, everyone else should be able to do the same thing? Conceited much?

pg3ibew

Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.

I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.

You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong

You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.

People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.

So because you were able to do it at a time when things weren't as expensive, everyone else should be able to do the same thing? Conceited much?

Conceited? No. Realist. Absolutely.

I can't do this because....(insert excsue here). I can't do that because......(insert excuse here)

ladymiseryali

Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.

I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.

You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong

You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.

People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.

So because you were able to do it at a time when things weren't as expensive, everyone else should be able to do the same thing? Conceited much?

Conceited? No. Realist. Absolutely.

I can't do this because....(insert excsue here). I can't do that because......(insert excuse here)

She's not making excuses. If you can't afford to shop for your own food because you've already spent your money on other bills, then you're at the mercy of whomever buys the food in the house. It happens. It's how things are for some people. If you have no actual advice, why not just skip over it and move on? All you're doing is being an *kitten*.

pg3ibew

Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.

I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.

You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong

You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.

People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.

So because you were able to do it at a time when things weren't as expensive, everyone else should be able to do the same thing? Conceited much?

Conceited? No. Realist. Absolutely.

I can't do this because....(insert excsue here). I can't do that because......(insert excuse here)

She's not making excuses. If you can't afford to shop for your own food because you've already spent your money on other bills, then you're at the mercy of whomever buys the food in the house. It happens. It's how things are for some people. If you have no actual advice, why not just skip over it and move on? All you're doing is being an *kitten*.

Who is being rude now?

I am giving her the best advice out of everyone here. Stop making excuses and buy your own.

Where is your advice? I haven't seen any from you.

mockchoc

OP, sorry you have to deal with unsupportive family. I just wanted to say good luck, do what you know is right to get to your goal. You don't need their support, you have us to talk to and get advice on losing the weight. I did it without support at home, you can too.

pandabratt1

I have to say I am a little disappointed in the way things are being said here. I can understand telling the truth, and I can understand personal opinions; however, the tone by some posters is mildly disturbing since we are all here to become successful in weight loss, health and physical fitness.

To the original post, I have a family that prides itself on large meals and borderline competition eating on a regular basis. It used to be considered funny when I (as a young kid) would pack away 6 deep fried tacos, and all the toppings that could be shoved inside... I was always very healthy because regardless of the amount of food I ate, I always played it off outside.

Calories were never a topic or concern for me until the last couple years. Back when I turned 17 and worked for McDonald's I gained 80 lbs due to a lack of understanding and a deep seated belief that it was still funny. Now every time I see my family if I say I'm eating small it is a joke. They will laugh, then fill my plate fuller. I still feel like they expect me to eat big and bad even though I now know that is not the way to be healthy. I can be relatively successful unless I eat with them. My personal solution has been to eat my meals before I get there, and then there is nothing they can say that would have me joining in on their meals, and I no longer gorge myself on food that is less than the best.

The best advice I can offer is that if there are real downers in your family who don't believe in you, give them something to talk about by proving that you are serious. If you make an effort for long enough and make your actions match your words, eventually they will take you seriously, and may even decide to join along. You don't have to give up hamburgers to lose weight, you just have to replace the mayo with mustard or add lettuce. Those little changes coupled with smaller portion sizes will get you where you want to be and you will also feel less deprived. I have actually lost a total of 45 lbs, I have 35 to go, but I joined MFP after I started my goals.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU in your weight loss, and GOOD LUCK TO YOU showing your family that you really do want this!!!

ohenry78

pg3 -- can you point out, exactly, where she was making excuses? Where she said that this is the reason she is at the weight she is? I don't see it. She is sharing a frustration. I don't see anywhere where she said "Because of this I am not able to lose weight" or any such statement.

I'm 25 as well, and have a full time job and a wife and two children. My wife works full time too. Occasionally we have trouble stocking the fridge. Stuff is expensive these days. Why the hostility?

You may be trying to "tell the truth", but whether you like it or not the "truth" is that you come off sounding like a cranky old man. "When I was your age we lost weight the hard way! Up hill! Both ways! In the snow!".

ladymiseryali

pg3 -- can you point out, exactly, where she was making excuses? Where she said that this is the reason she is at the weight she is? I don't see it. She is sharing a frustration. I don't see anywhere where she said "Because of this I am not able to lose weight" or any such statement.

I'm 25 as well, and have a full time job and a wife and two children. My wife works full time too. Occasionally we have trouble stocking the fridge. Stuff is expensive these days. Why the hostility?

You may be trying to "tell the truth", but whether you like it or not the "truth" is that you come off sounding like a cranky old man. "When I was your age we lost weight the hard way! Up hill! Both ways! In the snow!".

"And it was 15 miles and we had no shoes!"