Trouble from your family about losing weight/eating healthy?
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What K said. I'm done for tonight, because I have HARD WORK that I must tend to with DEDICATION. But what you're suggesting is like saying "Just stop eating so much! Stop making excuses!". It's vague and unhelpful and you sound (read?) unpleasant when you do it.
Congrats on your weight loss, I hope you find happiness and a chill pill with your changed body.
Have a wonderful evening.0 -
pg3ibew, you said that years ago you made about $300 a week. Do you know how much that would be today? With inflation, the buying power of $300 then would require about $475 now.
Now, I don't know the work situation of the OP, but, as an example what if she is working full time at a minimum wage job? That's only $290 a week, before taxes. You can see that obviously, if this is the case, her purchasing power is much less yours was 20 years ago. AND prices have gone up in the food market faster than in any other market - they increase approximately 3x faster than pay increases.
Frankly, you are being judgmental over something ridiculous and you do sound like a cranky old man. If her money can only go so far, how in the world do you expect your 'advice' for her to buy her own food to pan out? When you are out of money you are out of money, plain and simple. Sometimes people need help - that's OK! Kudos to her for paying all her other bills and for having a job AND for making the choice to be healthier. There are plenty of people in this world who do none of those things.
What are her OTHER bills? Does she pay 750 a month in rent? Phone Bill? Gas? Electric? Diapers? Please notice that she does NOT, at any point, say what her OTHER bills are.
Maybe she is a smoker. A drinker. A recreational drug user. Maybe those are her OTHER bills. We have no idea.
No, I am not being judgmental. All of you are making excuse for her.
And I wasn't making ABOUT 300 a week. It WAS 300 a week, exactly 20 years ago. And please show me the inflation charts to prove your point.
What her other bills entail really isn't any of our business. Do you need her to give you a laid out budgeting plan in order to believe her that she doesn't have the money to purchase food? I think that saying that she doesn't have the financial means to do so should be good enough. Like someone else said, this is My FITNESS Pal, not My FINANCIAL Pal. Her private information is her private information. You obviously believe she has some cash for buying food that she isn't spending on food - fine, you made your point. But notice that most people here tend to think the OP's assessment of her financial situation, which SHE knows, and you do not - is probably the most accurate.
And now I'm done with this conversation.0 -
pg3ibew, you said that years ago you made about $300 a week. Do you know how much that would be today? With inflation, the buying power of $300 then would require about $475 now.
Now, I don't know the work situation of the OP, but, as an example what if she is working full time at a minimum wage job? That's only $290 a week, before taxes. You can see that obviously, if this is the case, her purchasing power is much less yours was 20 years ago. AND prices have gone up in the food market faster than in any other market - they increase approximately 3x faster than pay increases.
Frankly, you are being judgmental over something ridiculous and you do sound like a cranky old man. If her money can only go so far, how in the world do you expect your 'advice' for her to buy her own food to pan out? When you are out of money you are out of money, plain and simple. Sometimes people need help - that's OK! Kudos to her for paying all her other bills and for having a job AND for making the choice to be healthier. There are plenty of people in this world who do none of those things.
What are her OTHER bills? Does she pay 750 a month in rent? Phone Bill? Gas? Electric? Diapers? Please notice that she does NOT, at any point, say what her OTHER bills are.
Maybe she is a smoker. A drinker. A recreational drug user. Maybe those are her OTHER bills. We have no idea.
No, I am not being judgmental. All of you are making excuse for her.
And I wasn't making ABOUT 300 a week. It WAS 300 a week, exactly 20 years ago. And please show me the inflation charts to prove your point.
What her other bills entail really isn't any of our business. Do you need her to give you a laid out budgeting plan in order to believe her that she doesn't have the money to purchase food? I think that saying that she doesn't have the financial means to do so should be good enough. Like someone else said, this is My FITNESS Pal, not My FINANCIAL Pal. Her private information is her private information. You obviously believe she has some cash for buying food that she isn't spending on food - fine, you made your point. But notice that most people here tend to think the OP's assessment of her financial situation, which SHE knows, and you do not - is probably the most accurate.
And now I'm done with this conversation.
I NEVER once brought up her bills or her private situation, YOU did. I just responded to what YOU wrotw. Read a bit closer.0 -
Oh wow.... This sounds so much like my family. I have kidney/heart failure, and am on disability. I live in a house with my mother, sister and nephew, and pay my share of everything. Neither of the other two adults in the house have ever been supportive. I get more grief than anything else from them. They aren't outwardly abrasive about it. They're just absent. All they eat is junk. Easy stuff and things the 8 year old likes. When I ask them for special things, usually it's as if I'm asking them to give me a body part.
The other day I got extremely upset and finally really laid it all out on my mom, told her how it made me feel to know they didn't care and told her that there was no way I could do it without her support, because I would just end up eating what they eat and failing as always. She cried. And today she brought home bags worth of my requests, which cost her very little in the end, and will be paid back.
Sometimes all it takes is to just stop telling yourself that the way you're living is not the right way, and stand up for yourself. If they truly care, they will hear you. It is really not as difficult to eat healthy as I ever thought it was.
I'd be honored to have you add me if you need a friend, and I'd offer any help or motivation I could possibly give you. Best of luck to you!0 -
"When I was your age we lost weight the hard way! Up hill! Both ways! In the snow!". -ohenry78
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"Spaghetti Monster forbid that you ever get frustrated with anything during your diet and ask how others deal with it." -ohenry78
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Omg you're funny! And sooo right in everything you're saying! Hahaha, spaghetti monster!! LOL0 -
I'm not sure I see the big deal with what happened at dinner OP. How many calories were in the burger? Did that put you over your calorie goal for the day? Were you still under your TDEE (and therefore still at a deficit)?
Maybe your Dad was being insensitive, maybe he was just being clueless. Either way I don't see why that needs to impact your weight loss. Obviously it would be ideal if you have the time and money to buy and prepare all you own meals. However even though you don't I am sure there are things you can control in order to achieve your goals. #1 you can control portion size, #2 you can control your snacking and #3 you can control the liquids you consume.
I would be very surprised if the food you have access to completely removes any possibility of hitting your daily calorie goals.0 -
While I'm kind of on board with the "perhaps you should consider moving out" thing, I know it's not always realistic.
Some practical advice? If you can't do much about your nutrition situation at home due to financial circumstances, then try exercising more to make up for it?0 -
I'm sorry your family is like that. There are plenty of success stories on here, and you can certainly be one of them! I have been fat my wholel life, since I was a kid. I finally found something I love, which is my Zumba. I do it 2-3, sometimes more times/week, and lately I've been hitting the treadmill more. I started doing weights at the gym, (mostly machines) and some dumbells occasionally at home. I try to watch what I eat, and now I only have less than 20lb's to lose, to get to my goal weight. I have lost over 60lb's now. And have been doing this for over a year. The last 5 months or so have been slow going, because I haven't been trying as hard to lose, since I'm so close to my goal. I'm pretty happy with how I look now, just want to get rid of this belly. I'm determined to get to goal by summer now! You can do this, and you can lose the weight! The hardest part is getting started, and knowing that if you fall along the way, don't beat yourself up, just dust yourself off n start again! It is a learning experience! Find out what best works for you, and stick with it! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to prove your brother, or whoever it was...WRONG! Lolol. But do it for yourself, and your health. Good luck! :happy:
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sometimes i am suprised by "family". I know how you are feeling, my family has never been supportive. Even when I was not overweight, they felt I was since my little sisters were petite, at the time not even 11. That has now been 20 years ago and 100 pounds later. I have since realized that you have to do for yourself, what is best for you, you cant count on anyone else to know or to think what is good for you or to realize what you need. My family always have eaten what they wanted and made fun of me when i was trying to be healthy, but hang in there, don't eat the whole portion is always good advice, I also have found not to make a big deal about it, just do it and screw all of the doubters.0
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since I have started on here my brother has told me that over weight people live longer then healthy ones and that he thinks i might fade away. I started on here at 190 size 18-20 and now i'm 150 size 11-12. He also thinks that on really windy days I might blow away. lol0
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Sometimes all it takes is to just stop telling yourself that the way you're living is not the right way, and stand up for yourself. If they truly care, they will hear you. It is really not as difficult to eat healthy as I ever thought it was.
This. I agree with sticking up for yourself. I did and now they are aware of my dietary restrictions. I didn't make them change with me. For example, my mom often breads pork chops or chicken. I told her not to bread mine. If it helps, tell them you don't like the way it tastes that way. (So long as no feelings are hurt) another good way i heard to cut calories was to dab the meat with a paper towel to get some of the grease off. Regardless of whether or not it saves you a few calories, it may make you feel less like crap?
I know how you feel about being poor too. I try and buy what i can food wise. I also give my dad a reasonable list of groceries each week. Then i just make the best out of the meals that i don't cook.0 -
Katalyst77 is absolutely right!0
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since I have started on here my brother has told me that over weight people live longer then healthy ones and that he thinks i might fade away. I started on here at 190 size 18-20 and now i'm 150 size 11-12. He also thinks that on really windy days I might blow away. lol
That is what my dad tells me! He is a junk food junky and always trying to get me to "grab a burger" with him. He seriously considers broccoli an exotic food! I recently got him hooked on subway though and he has lost 30 lbs.
OP: I think you should stand your ground on what you will and won't eat. Maybe they will see your success and start eating healthier too!
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Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.
I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.
You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong
You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.
People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.
You may have been married and had kids young. If you managed to do that at 25, great for you. Personally, I would never have kids until I could actually afford them. Again, it's your choice. But people are on different timelines than you too. At 25, I'll have just finished up my master's. I'll probably have a job at that point, but for some of us, 25 is still pretty young. Just because you had a grown up life at 25 doesn't mean that we're wrong for not being exactly like you. Get over yourself.0 -
It is possible your Dad felt bad about telling you no and that is why he said you could have one later. Maybe when you said you didn't want a second sandwich then it made him feel even worse that he told you no in the first place. Sometimes when a person gets mad it is at themselves and not the other person but it still just comes out as anger and makes others uncomfortable. You handled the situation well by not overeating, it would just make you feel worse to overeat just to satisfy someone else. I do have people around me who aren't happy with the way I eat or the amount of exercise I get but I TRY not to think too much about it because it just throws me off track of trying to do what I think is best for me. Keep doing what you know is right and when you meet opposition try to use it to make you even want to try harder. Keep up the good work you have already started.0
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Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.
I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.
You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong
You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.
People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.
You just said it. 20 years ago. Things have changed since then. It's alot harder to move out now, heck I'm living out of home but barely scraping by some weeks. You make it sound like a cakewalk, well it isn't. Maybe she has other issues/reasons she can't move out. People with your attitude anger me, just because it was easy for YOU doesn't mean everyone else is weak/making excuses.0 -
Ok he shouldn't have maybe gone that way about but please remember one day your dad won't be here and you will wish he was even to have that silly argument again.x0
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Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.
I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.
You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong
You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.
People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.
You just said it. 20 years ago. Things have changed since then. It's alot harder to move out now, heck I'm living out of home but barely scraping by some weeks. You make it sound like a cakewalk, well it isn't. Maybe she has other issues/reasons she can't move out. People with your attitude anger me, just because it was easy for YOU doesn't mean everyone else is weak/making excuses.
Some people have no reading comprehension skills. I Never said it was EASY for me 20 years ago. It was very difficult. BUT I did it. And I NEVER suggested she MOVE out. I suggested she BUY her own food.
Read. UNDERSTAND what you read. Think about reply. reply. Reading comprehension.0 -
You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.
People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.
Good for you, she obviously can't. How about you be supportive?
Yes we did that too but 20 or in my case 40 yrs ago stuff did not cost what it did today. You don't know her circumstances or why she isn't earning enough to be on her own but I bet she would like to be. Your comments are not helpful
How about we all stop making EXCUSES for her? CAN'T is the excuse for everything. She CAN buy her own food.0
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