Middle School Girls VS Valentines Day

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  • lilredkaty
    lilredkaty Posts: 10
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    Hey! Believe me I went through the same thing as a kid. I never dressed the same way as everyone else, didn't like the same music, all of that. I didn't get a valentines. but you know what I did? I just smiled, and shrugged. Went home, went out to dinner with my mom, and had an AMAZING day. That's an idea, take her out and show her that not EVERYONE is thoughtless.
    Tell her it happens..Life sucks..and sometime people are mean. But tell her NOT to let it get her down! I still dress, and listen to music other people don't like, or find weird. But I have gained some of the most AMAZING friends because of it! Tell her to move on and don't let it get her down! I do agree with you though, valentines day isn't even really needed in middle school! Just try and show her that valentines day isn't all about getting cards from other people, but it's also a time to spend with family[:

    Hope I helped!
    Katy.
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
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    Eliminate is harsh terminology but watching my daughter cry for an hour strokes the mommy rage.
  • UnoDrea3732
    UnoDrea3732 Posts: 342 Member
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    Ehhh...I don't recall getting anything for Valentine's Day ever in middle school or highschool for that matter. My parents always got me something so I didn't care if I got anything for anyone else. Believe that I stopped the V-Day card giving in Elementary.

    Explain to her that this is just a moment and tomorrow will be better. Then take her out for Valentine's Day! My Valentine this year was my daughter (she's 3) and she reminded me every couple of minutes, in the 2 hours we have together this morning, that she loved me.
  • tj1376
    tj1376 Posts: 1,402 Member
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    so I read this to my 13 year old daughter and this is her comment...
    'so what if you don't have a valentine for valentin's day, some kids don't have a mother for mother's day or a father for father's day'
    :huh: hummm that's a different perspective

    Very insightful :flowerforyou:
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    Life is not fair. It's a good opportunity to help her learn about this, how things suck and sometimes she will be the one standing out when other's get nothing.

    Could it be that since she is new no one was comfortable giving her something? Schools shouldn't ban Valentine's day just because your kid didn't get one....
  • subconscious_ink
    subconscious_ink Posts: 194 Member
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    I thought in younger classes that if kids were giving out valentines, they were supposed to do it for the entire class?

    For us that ended at 5th grade.

    And if she's only been at the school for three months, she probably doesn't know anyone well enough that they would think to get her anything, or would really know what to get her. Just tell her to give it time, try to put herself out there and get to know people. Middle school is hard, and it's even harder to be the "new girl" :ohwell:
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    It happens....but I wouldn't eliminate things based on it. You said it yourself she's only been at this school for 3 months...have you spent the past two weeks preparing her for this outcome since you dreaded it? Reminding her that she's new and that can intimidate people....

    that at their age, everyone is uncomfortable in their own skin and find it difficult to approach new situations (and people)....

    because if it had been my child, I would have been preparing her for the potential butt hurt I would see on the looming horizon rather than blame the school for not outlawing a holiday many many people enjoy and love.

    you can't kill something that pleases many for the misery of one, and it is a life lesson. it really is.
  • panano
    panano Posts: 62 Member
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    From going through, and surviving middle school as the really nerdy/chubby girl, and coming out fine without any valentines - She will be fine. High school will not be any better, it's good she's learning now.
    Though why in 8th grade and at 13, that's something to cry about, I don't know. She's still young, and the only valentine I ever cared about at that age was from my daddy.
    ALTHOUGH I think if they're going to have valentines day parties, they should make it a general rule everyone gets one. When I was in the younger grades, we had a paper bag that we put our names on, then everyone would drop their valentines in each other's bags...
  • _AllieCat_
    _AllieCat_ Posts: 515 Member
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    so I read this to my 13 year old daughter and this is her comment...
    'so what if you don't have a valentine for valentin's day, some kids don't have a mother for mother's day or a father for father's day'
    :huh: hummm that's a different perspective

    What a wonderful response!
  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
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    I thought in younger classes that if kids were giving out valentines, they were supposed to do it for the entire class?

    They do that for Elementary school not for Middle School. OP I know what your daughter is going through. The same thing always happened to me in middle school. My kids never seemed to have that problem only me.
  • subconscious_ink
    subconscious_ink Posts: 194 Member
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    so I read this to my 13 year old daughter and this is her comment...
    'so what if you don't have a valentine for valentin's day, some kids don't have a mother for mother's day or a father for father's day'
    :huh: hummm that's a different perspective

    Your kid is very smart and awesome to think of it this way.
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
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    Tell her to get over it because valentines day is stupid

    explain to her how Valentine's Day is a scam, perpetuated and thrust upon the public by a) Candy makers, b) Jewelry hawkers, c) card companies, and d) flower sellers.

    How what it really does is bilk the public for millions of dollars. That those millions of dollars would be better used to invest in college funds for the kids, to pay down mortgages, or even applied towards medical bills.


    I preach that at Christmas and she looks at me like I am completely nuts.
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
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    Bummer!! I had many years like this as a kid. The good news is that there is a great big world outside of school, and being in school is only temporary.

    Just a thought: did she do anything for any of the other kids? Sometimes you've gotta put yourself out on a limb first.
  • RingSize8
    RingSize8 Posts: 175 Member
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    As a middle school teacher, let me just say. ...kids are mean. Period. End of story.
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
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    JR High going on High School sounds a little old to be handing out Valentines unless it's to close friends.

    I still hated when my daughter had her feelings hurt. (=
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Dag. There's nothing worse than a burnt cookie :sad:
  • mrs_schultz2012
    mrs_schultz2012 Posts: 395 Member
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    so I read this to my 13 year old daughter and this is her comment...
    'so what if you don't have a valentine for valentin's day, some kids don't have a mother for mother's day or a father for father's day'
    :huh: hummm that's a different perspective

    very insightful girl, I'm sure you are very proud of her, as you should be :smile:
  • Mrs_Bones
    Mrs_Bones Posts: 195 Member
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    Tell her to get over it because valentines day is stupid

    explain to her how Valentine's Day is a scam, perpetuated and thrust upon the public by a) Candy makers, b) Jewelry hawkers, c) card companies, and d) flower sellers.

    How what it really does is bilk the public for millions of dollars. That those millions of dollars would be better used to invest in college funds for the kids, to pay down mortgages, or even applied towards medical bills.

    ^ Truth!
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
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    Bummer!! I had many years like this as a kid. The good news is that there is a great big world outside of school, and being in school is only temporary.

    Just a thought: did she do anything for any of the other kids? Sometimes you've gotta put yourself out on a limb first.

    She did, I made a point take her shopping for VDAY.
  • ellabelle0310
    ellabelle0310 Posts: 92 Member
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    so I read this to my 13 year old daughter and this is her comment...
    'so what if you don't have a valentine for valentin's day, some kids don't have a mother for mother's day or a father for father's day'
    :huh: hummm that's a different perspective

    Your kid is very smart and awesome to think of it this way.

    I love it! Sounds like something my middle school girl would say..Instead she came in hauling a ton of candy/cards/stuffed animals...all from girls. I think we need to have a different talk...

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