How normal, thin people eat.

KimLoan325

One more post about this, and then I'm leaving this thread.

I am a petite person who is incredibly emotional about food and very much attached to it. I think a lot of the ideas and suppositions bandied around here are wrong and toxic.

There are a lot of mean-spirited, toxic ideas that are largely fiction on here, and it's turning ugly.

sbbhbm

the book is called "The Weighdown Workshop"... pretty sure the OP just copied the first chapter introduction. Still, a very valid way to live. I have been doing this since I read the book.

Lilith5

I was naturally thin I was younger. I never really liked eating if that makes sense, and I was a healthy child. The only time I really used to enjoy eating is when my Mother would make the main evening meal, otherwise I didn't want anything. My Dad always said 'breakfast is the most important meal of the day' and I hated it cos by the time I got to school I would feel ill. Then come lunch time I would leave some of my dinner, Which I didn't always get away with cos the dinner ladies used to watch me like a hawk! And at one point even approached my Mother asking if I had an eating disorder! And to be honest I feel alot better when I eat under my calories than when I eat what I'm supposed to

kokong13

Thanks Angie,

I enjoyed reading your article. It was very informative. I have noticed since I started seriously working out again I don't crave those "bad foods" to eat. Instead I want healthy stuff. I don't even have a desire for them. I love sweets by the way :-)
Maybe that goes along with the active lifestyle

volume77

i sort of beleive in the genetics thing...............

alexisu96

i sort of beleive in the genetics thing...............

Agree 100% as some people are taller than others, some people are naturally thinner than others. I got dealt than fat card at birth. Growing up, I had 2 best friends( sisters) tall and naturally thin. We 3 were in the same sports teams. Very active. They could eat anything and were thin. I looked At food and gained. I definity didnt eat that much differently. In fact I ate often at their house as their mom cooked alot.

hulkweazel

OP is exactly right. It has nothing to do with genetics or being "blessed" with a fast metabolism, it's a lot of little things that contribute to not gaining weight. Thin people stay skinny because, put simply, they don't eat that much - they understand portion sizes.

As for the people that seemingly eat like crazy and never seem to gain any weight - I can explain that, since I was once one of those guys. What you SEE is that they eat huge meals, but the majority of the time, you only see them only once in a while. The rest of the time, they're probably just not eating, which allows them to eat a lot when they go out with friends. Also, many of them also play a sport of some kind.

It's not magic, it's not genetics, it really is as simple as self control. When I got to college, I lost that self control, and that's when I gained weight. At above, stop blaming genetics... it's a poor excuse. READ what people are saying.

Lilith5

i sort of beleive in the genetics thing...............

If it's genetics then I should be like a twig!
Both my parents were thin and my Mother had no trouble eating what she wanted and keeping the weight off.

redraidergirl2009

I agree. None of my skinny friends count calories. When I was skinny I didn't count them. I recently quit counting since I started counting I just got fatter and fatter. Of course I'm not going to just eat everything in sight, but when one thing doesnt wprk ypu move on

fitfreakymom

I'm just going to object to your use of normal in the title.

It's just metabolism and it comes with it's own challenges.

It is more self controll and listening to your body than it is metabolism,over weight people ignore the signs of being full and keep going. I have noticed that alot of overwieght people eat mindlessly and do not pay any attention to their body saying it is full and most slim people do pay attention and just stop eating. I think alot of parents have a bad habbit of over filling their kids plates and then saying to the kid you need to finnish your plate when a child knows when they are hungery or not. I have heard that some of the best people to watch when it comes to food are kids because they eat when they are hungery and stop when they are not and I think you will find in most cases when a child is fat so are their parents because the parents are forcing their bad habbits on their kids. I think the better in shape you are the higher your metabolism and the fatter you are then the slower the metabolism ( in most cases)

Lilith5

It's hard though when living in the same house with someone who is hungry when you aren't and most the time they won't eat unless you do :frown: then it feels like a guilt trip!

fitfreakymom

now depending on the age of the person that you are talking about tell them to fend for themselves if they are hungery and you are not.
That is the rule here one thing I had to do was stop making excuse after excuse on why I could not exercise and I had to stop making excuses on why I could go and stuff my face and over eat. Now I can go and have one cookie and stop at one cookie.

Lilith5

I care for this person but you got a point

amberlykay1014

My boyfriend is very thin and when he talks about it he says, "I have a very fast metabolism" or "I eat whatever I want, I just don't gain"

Well, I've been with him 3 1/2 years now, and I can tell you, his metabolism is the same as any other man his age and size. He definitely eats a LOT when he sits down to have a meal, but that's maybe 2-3 times a week. He'll eat food I cook, so I've been cooking as much as I can stand, and he'll gain weight if I keep it up. But during the day? He barely touches calories for breakfast. He has 200 calories of smoothie and a coffee before he goes to work. He often does not eat lunch til 1 or 2, then sometimes it's small, and sometimes it's big.

For dinner? He will outright forget about eating if he had a 2 pm lunch that was pretty big. So those 1000 calories he had at lunch? Combine them with the 200 he had at breakfast and that's all he had all day. That's what I net while dieting, and his job involves plenty of physical labor, so he's definitely not eating what he should.

But he IS eating absolutely whatever he wants. Whatever he wants to eat just doesn't add up to very much.

Wow, my fiance is like this exactly..

He has some coffee and maybe a small breakfast wrap at work in the mornings, rarely eats lunch -- maybe a granola bar, and eats a portion controlled dinner. My dinner is always bigger than his and I eat during the day! He finishes it off with a giant bowl of ice cream before bed and probably has only consumed 1500 cals when I'm trying hard to stay under 2000. Not to mention he's 6'4" and moves around all day.

Lilith5

That's the reason he keeps the weight off, cos he moves around all day. My parents were exactly the same

jbutterflye

From observing the so-called "naturally thin" people I know, I've noticed several distinct differences about how they eat compared to how I have for most of my life (during which my weight has yoyo-ed back and forth between 102 and 130 pounds), and how most chronic dieters eat.

1. They don't count calories or even pay attention to them. One of my skinny girl friends (who I used to think just had a "really fast metabolism & ate whatever she wanted" until I started actually paying attention to her habits) looked over my shoulder one day while I was punching in my calories for lunch & said "ew, why are you counting calories". I actually felt pretty stupid, because here's someone who's as thin as I could only dream to be, & she doesn't even go to the extents that I do in order to have the body she does. It also got me thinking about BMR's and TDEE's, and how lots of people on here say "NEVER GO BELOW BMR" etc etc. But I know for a sure fact that many thin people I know go days where they don't eat even up to that much. & they also have days they eat more, so I'm sure it balances out. But to exactly their TDEE or even close? I'd doubt that for some of my friends. They just don't pay attention to numbers. & some of my especially tiny Asian friends seem perfectly content eating small amounts pretty much daily.

2. They only eat when they're hungry & they know when to stop. They naturally eat small portions. I used to never be able to understand how my friends & I could go to Burger King & they could get a whopper & medium fries and throw it away after eating just a little more than half. I was raised to never throw food away, and that I was only finished eating when my plate was empty. For that reason, I've often been known to finish off entire plates of restaurant entrees (which we all know could serve 2 or 3 people) or as much as I could stomach, literally eating till I felt sick. I've been known to eat entire packages of cookies in a night, or 6 slices of pizza. Thin people know when to stop, even when they've eaten just a fourth of their meal. Two slices of pizza is always enough, or even one and a half. Throwing food away, or taking the rest to go & eating the leftovers over the next few days is pretty much second nature for them. Even with sweets, somehow its so easy for them to eat half a candy bar and put the rest away for later. For most of my life, sweets have been something I was never able to just enjoy in small quantities.

3. They don't place any moral labels on food, & they seem to lack any emotional attachment to it. As in, they won't say things like "omg this is so bad for me" when having pizza or something. They'll just enjoy it. They'll eat ice-cream with no guilt. And they don't use food as a way to cope with emotions or eat purely for fun. If they're hungry, they eat. If they're not, they don't. They'll eat sweets but they won't eat them till they're sick, nor will they lock themselves in their room with a box of oreos & not leave until they're finished.

Basically, they don't obsess over food. Food is nourishment for them, that's it. Even when its something decadent, they know when to stop. They don't stuff themselves till discomfort. & now that I actually think about it, that's completely different from how I've eaten for like the past 10 years. I frequently stuff myself just because its there & I feel inclined to eat it. I have a huge emotional attachment to food at times, & I do eat out of stress or boredom. I also label some foods as "bad" or "good" & even feel scared of events where there's "bad" food that may "tempt" me.

I'm obsessed with calorie counts & food labels & although that stuff is important, I'm starting to feel like it's not necessary to actively count and monitor them just to lose weight. I feel like if I would just stop eating for any reason besides hunger, & learn to start controlling my portion sizes & enjoying my food instead of obsessing over every calorie, I could become & stay thin without putting in nearly as much effort as I do now.

Excellent post. Very insightful. These are habits that I want to form as well. I've noticed there are days I'm just not hungry, and it doesn't make sense to me to forcefeed myself to get in the minimum required calories. I also have days where I naturally want more, and I think it all balanced out in the end. I want to listen to my body more, and still log the calories to see how many I wind up eating for the day.

terilou87

iv noticed alot of what you have said with my thin friends aswell,

i was also brought up to finish my plate,iv heard this quite often within my chubbier friends. wonder if this contributes i think weight gain is to do with several things genetics, how people think about food, how people were brought up, and life style.

chadgard

That would be my wife. She eats a lot more than me, doesn't have as active a job, and doesn't exercise. While not rail thin, she is a beautiful, healthy weight, and the doctor praises her each year. Meanwhile, I'm all pudgy. And by eats a lot more than me, I mean her portion sizes are larger at each meal, AND she eats more times throughout the day. Since I'm the cook when we're not in school, I have to say it gets quite exhausting. It always feels like we just finished eating a large meal (sometimes I haven't even finished cleaning up from preparing that meal) when she says, "I'm hungry! What do we eat?"

Does she sit down a lot? when u come home where is she? give me an example of a large portion...say 16oz steak large potato with everything vegetables roll drink and dessert?

Let's see, a large portion. How about a meal at our favorite (non-chain) restaurant: 8 slices of bread with butter (a whole butter ball on each piece), a 24 oz asiago crusted bison ribeye, a large baked potato with butter, sauteed squash and snow peas.

At the same meal I had 2 slices of bread (it's really good there, made in a wood-burning oven) with butter (one butter ball total), a baby spinach salad with mixed fresh berries, almonds, 4 oz of bison sirloin, and about an an ounce of goat's milk feta cheese.

Neither of us drinks anything but water when we go out (well, she'll occasionally drink hot tea, but unsweetened usually).

We split a dark chocolate creme brulee, about 6 oz total, she probably had 4 oz and I 2.

By the time we got home, I still felt over-stuffed, and she was asking what we were going to eat next. I gave her an avacado, lit a fire in the woodstove, and went out to shovel 3 truckloads of alpaca manure into, then out of, the truck, moved 30 bales of hay down to the ground from on top of a stack of hay, and fed the alpacas. And it was cold. While I was out doing that, she was inside curled on the couch next to the woodstove, with one of the dogs, checthuking her email.

When I came in, I was still not hungry, and she was staving. I made her a bowl of ice cream - 4 scoops of Ritters' Dark Chocolate Almond. Then a mango.

She doesn't drive, so except on Thursdays, when a neighbor drives her home because I'm on campus very late, when I come home, she's sitting in the truck next to me, wondering what we're going to eat. During the school year, neither of us sit down a lot, but I flail my arms about a lot more (since I conduct bands and orchestras), and haul heavy equipment, numerous chairs, and whatnot around. She hauls lab equipment around, but it's smaller, lighter, less numerous, and move shorter distances.

At the same time, my average body temperature is 92.4 degrees. Her average body temperature is 99.8. I have ample insulation (fat). She's She simply needs more fuel to sustain life than I do. Thus, she eats all of that and has a BMI of 21.5. Meanwhile, I eat less and have a BMI of 36.9.

bumblebums

I have a lot to say about this but I'll keep it short and organized.

1. People vary in their natural levels of leptin and ghrelin. This accounts for a lot of variation in weight.

2. Your upbringing matters a lot. If you were always made to finish all of your meals growing up, it would be hard to not get overweight/obese over the years while eating standard restaurant portions (at least in the US). Some cultures' diets and dining habits predispose people to gain weight over the years, too.

3. Less scientific point, more of a personal observation: I've never known a "naturally thin" picky eater. The pickiest eaters I know tend to struggle with their weight or are just fat. The complaints I see on this forum from people who hate vegetables go to prove my point, I think. If your parents let you only eat foods you liked as a child, it makes sense that you'd get fat and retain a childlike palate (salt, sugar, fat).

angiechimpanzee

OP is exactly right. It has nothing to do with genetics or being "blessed" with a fast metabolism, it's a lot of little things that contribute to not gaining weight. Thin people stay skinny because, put simply, they don't eat that much - they understand portion sizes.

As for the people that seemingly eat like crazy and never seem to gain any weight - I can explain that, since I was once one of those guys. What you SEE is that they eat huge meals, but the majority of the time, you only see them only once in a while. The rest of the time, they're probably just not eating, which allows them to eat a lot when they go out with friends. Also, many of them also play a sport of some kind.

It's not magic, it's not genetics, it really is as simple as self control. When I got to college, I lost that self control, and that's when I gained weight. At above, stop blaming genetics... it's a poor excuse. READ what people are saying.

I totally totally agree.

A lot of people will say "gosh I haven't eaten all day." and pig out at dinner. But the difference between people who are thin who say this, and people who are overweight & claim the same thing, is that the overweight person likely had a candy bar around 12pm, a bottle of coke at 3, some chips around 5, & had already racked up quite a few calories by dinner, while the skinny person more likely literally did not eat all day, or at least anything of significant caloric value.

angiechimpanzee

From observing the so-called "naturally thin" people I know, I've noticed several distinct differences about how they eat compared to how I have for most of my life (during which my weight has yoyo-ed back and forth between 102 and 130 pounds), and how most chronic dieters eat.

1. They don't count calories or even pay attention to them. One of my skinny girl friends (who I used to think just had a "really fast metabolism & ate whatever she wanted" until I started actually paying attention to her habits) looked over my shoulder one day while I was punching in my calories for lunch & said "ew, why are you counting calories". I actually felt pretty stupid, because here's someone who's as thin as I could only dream to be, & she doesn't even go to the extents that I do in order to have the body she does. It also got me thinking about BMR's and TDEE's, and how lots of people on here say "NEVER GO BELOW BMR" etc etc. But I know for a sure fact that many thin people I know go days where they don't eat even up to that much. & they also have days they eat more, so I'm sure it balances out. But to exactly their TDEE or even close? I'd doubt that for some of my friends. They just don't pay attention to numbers. & some of my especially tiny Asian friends seem perfectly content eating small amounts pretty much daily.

2. They only eat when they're hungry & they know when to stop. They naturally eat small portions. I used to never be able to understand how my friends & I could go to Burger King & they could get a whopper & medium fries and throw it away after eating just a little more than half. I was raised to never throw food away, and that I was only finished eating when my plate was empty. For that reason, I've often been known to finish off entire plates of restaurant entrees (which we all know could serve 2 or 3 people) or as much as I could stomach, literally eating till I felt sick. I've been known to eat entire packages of cookies in a night, or 6 slices of pizza. Thin people know when to stop, even when they've eaten just a fourth of their meal. Two slices of pizza is always enough, or even one and a half. Throwing food away, or taking the rest to go & eating the leftovers over the next few days is pretty much second nature for them. Even with sweets, somehow its so easy for them to eat half a candy bar and put the rest away for later. For most of my life, sweets have been something I was never able to just enjoy in small quantities.

3. They don't place any moral labels on food, & they seem to lack any emotional attachment to it. As in, they won't say things like "omg this is so bad for me" when having pizza or something. They'll just enjoy it. They'll eat ice-cream with no guilt. And they don't use food as a way to cope with emotions or eat purely for fun. If they're hungry, they eat. If they're not, they don't. They'll eat sweets but they won't eat them till they're sick, nor will they lock themselves in their room with a box of oreos & not leave until they're finished.

Basically, they don't obsess over food. Food is nourishment for them, that's it. Even when its something decadent, they know when to stop. They don't stuff themselves till discomfort. & now that I actually think about it, that's completely different from how I've eaten for like the past 10 years. I frequently stuff myself just because its there & I feel inclined to eat it. I have a huge emotional attachment to food at times, & I do eat out of stress or boredom. I also label some foods as "bad" or "good" & even feel scared of events where there's "bad" food that may "tempt" me.

I'm obsessed with calorie counts & food labels & although that stuff is important, I'm starting to feel like it's not necessary to actively count and monitor them just to lose weight. I feel like if I would just stop eating for any reason besides hunger, & learn to start controlling my portion sizes & enjoying my food instead of obsessing over every calorie, I could become & stay thin without putting in nearly as much effort as I do now.

Excellent post. Very insightful. These are habits that I want to form as well. I've noticed there are days I'm just not hungry, and it doesn't make sense to me to forcefeed myself to get in the minimum required calories. I also have days where I naturally want more, and I think it all balanced out in the end. I want to listen to my body more, and still log the calories to see how many I wind up eating for the day.

Same, I think I want to try this approach. For now I don't think I want to stop counting completely, but I do want to stop aiming for a certain "number" every single day. If I eat when I'm hungry, making healthy choices at least 80% of the time, the numbers should hopefully work out on their own.

angiechimpanzee

so the question remains how can I train my body to do this while I am overweight.

I think its more of a mind thing.

angiechimpanzee

Thanks Angie,

I enjoyed reading your article. It was very informative. I have noticed since I started seriously working out again I don't crave those "bad foods" to eat. Instead I want healthy stuff. I don't even have a desire for them. I love sweets by the way :-)
Maybe that goes along with the active lifestyle

I agree with this too. When I get a good workout in in the morning, the rest of the day I just want to feed my body good things. It's when I'm being lazy that the cravings start to creep up.

dmpizza

There was a great female comedian who used to do a routine about skinny women saying "sometimes I forget to eat". I think its an honest statement for some.

taylorwaylor

I only read some of this post. But i observed how thin people eat too... I thought they were just sooo lucky.. but really they take tiny bites and small amounts. They no when to stop and im pretty sure food isnt always on their mind (as it is for me) I too was told to eat everything on my plate, and these skinny chicks waste too much foood!! Gahhh. When i go out to eat or am not counting i really focus on my hunger and then just try have fun with the people around me, so that im not just thinking about finishing my food!

But.... eating more is the way to go! Strength traaaainnnn woooo

lilmissbamaqueen

bump to read later...

shiseido_faerie

I think it also depends on your age. I used to consider myself "naturally thin" until I hit 30. Seriously, I could eat as much pizza, butter, and anything else that was unhealthy, and as much as I wanted to (without exercise). Then the age caught up with me.

Now that I have gained weight, I haven't really noticed the thinner people eating. I am going to have to check it out

I agree with this. I was very small, underweight even, for all of my life. "naturally thin" is what the docs said and told me to enjoy it. I ate whatever I wanted, no exercise, and then it was like as soon as I turned 30 (2 years ago) there was a flick of the switch and it caught up with me. Now, i'm at the top end of my BMI, but i've gained about 20-25lbs, and I have to be aware of what I eat and exercise to keep that from increasing.

grosa001

I think youre right, but I know many skinny people who've been skinny all their lives - I think that's more genetic than anything. One guy I know is trying to gain muscle weight, and he needs to eat about 3500 calories a day. Its funny because out situations are almost opposite, but very similar. Sounds like youre doing a good job though!

wavdawg4

I disagree. I was a thin person until I was about 40. I ATE A LOT. More than most people I knew, no matter what their size, male or female. And I was always interested in thinking about where my next meal was coming from.

I have friends who are like that. I'll be around them and they'll be scarfing down anything and everything.. and I'll be slowly eating my food. I've learned that if I take my time and chew my food all the way I get fuller faster. I eat less then my skinny friends. Sometimes it's hard to even be around them because I am so jealous of Everything they are constantly munching on. It's not always healthy stuff either it's all the crap that we shouldn't be scarfing down in the first place.

Lilith112

Some of it is age. But a lot of it comes down to just food quantity. I keep myself to 2-3 meals a day and don't snack in between. It doesn't take a lot to get me full, and I don't feel compelled to continue eating. If I eat out, I typically end up splitting with someone (2 other people if it's the Cheesecake Factory lol) since I typically can't eat everything that's been put in front of me, which is also why I don't calorie count. I agree on the constant motion/fidgeting part. I'm sure there's skinny people out there who aren't like this, but I do fidget a lot and I need to get up every half our and run/walk around a bit (especially if I'm playing music).