No support at home :(

greatfoodlady

Oh, I so know the feeling!!
1st - Dont' take him the the grocery store with you! While I love the extra help doing the shopping, it ends up just costing us more in the end ('cause my hubby is like a big kid in a candy store with a credit card!) and we end up with a cart full of "junk". I still buy him his snack items he likes, so he's content with the contents of the pantry.

2nd - Figure out meals that you can both eat. Like tonight, we are having grilled pork steaks, mashed potatoes (I did some major modifications to this recipe!) and big salads. My family won't feel deprived and we're all eating healthy. And on those nights when my husband just insists on something like homemade mac & cheese (and no, he doesn't want a healthy version) I go ahead and make it and make myself a small baked potato. You CAN make food that is low cal, but still very tasteful!

3rd - Just tell him you're going to do this with or without his help. Tell him you understand that he loves you just the way you are, but you don't love yourself anymore. It took a long time for mine to get this concept into his head, he figured if he loved me the way I am, why didn't I?

4th - Maybe you should suggest you 2 start working out together? If he's lost muscle tone, maybe he's depressed about it but not saying anything? Maybe he doesn't want you to get all slim and tone again? Maybe he's worried you'll find someone else who is still tone? I could be way off the mark here, I don't know him, but it wouldn't hurt to ask him.

And all that said, if you'd like to add me as a friend, please feel free to do so. Even though I have alot of the "issues" under control with my hubby - there's still those times where he brings me home junk. Why?? I don't know.... I think it's just a way for him to show he loves me by bringing me a treat.

KevinsCatie

LOL Oh yall are awesome. I'm sorry, I did get a little whine there for sec. Yes he probably does think I am actually doing it for him, and thats probably why he keeps saying he loves me anyways. However, it isnt. I really do want to do it for me. No, I have not turned into a tofu nazi (I cant stand the stuff) and the food we do eat really isnt that bad. I think he just upset him that I refused to get Hamburger Helper. And to Vitaminddd.... I doubt he would be 150 soaking wet with cinderblocks for shoes!!! I know he doesnt get what it feels like to try to lose weight, because he is always complaining about trying to GAIN weight! I guess I just wish we could meet somewhere in the middle. Maybe shared lipo???? Take it out of me and stick it in him Just kidding!!!

concordancia

LOL Oh yall are awesome. I'm sorry, I did get a little whine there for sec. Yes he probably does think I am actually doing it for him, and thats probably why he keeps saying he loves me anyways. However, it isnt. I really do want to do it for me. No, I have not turned into a tofu nazi (I cant stand the stuff) and the food we do eat really isnt that bad. I think he just upset him that I refused to get Hamburger Helper. And to Vitaminddd.... I doubt he would be 150 soaking wet with cinderblocks for shoes!!! I know he doesnt get what it feels like to try to lose weight, because he is always complaining about trying to GAIN weight! I guess I just wish we could meet somewhere in the middle. Maybe shared lipo???? Take it out of me and stick it in him Just kidding!!!

Yeah, it sounds like y'all need a plan. There isn't any reason he can't have hamburger helper. It has a lot of sodium, but the fat content depends on what you put with it. He needs the pasta to get his calories up. More importantly, he needs to know that your getting healthy isn't going to send his life on a roller coaster and he still has some say in the parts of the household that are not your body.

HealthWoke0ish

Can you bifurcate and say that he supports you but has not yet made the commitment to support your weight-loss decisions? I think that sounds more accurate than saying you have no support. Others have already suggested talking with him. If you do, I'd recommend you acknowledge and express gratitude for him loving you. Then let him know you'd like to love you too. Express gratitude for him supporting you "as is" and then request additional support regarding your desire to change.

I didn't read all the other posts, so I hope that wasn't redundant.

Either way, I support you and your decision and wish you the best!

1ConcreteGirl

As a former Marine, I'm pretty sure you understand the concept of "just do it." Don't let your feelings about the situation get in the way. Put those aside and just do it because it is important to you. Just do it.

skm4jc

OK, I have to start out by saying that I am the biggest that I have ever been in my life. I had my son 11 months ago, and I'm still trying to lose the baby weight (about 60 lbs of it to be exact.) My husband and I are both prior service Marines (both got out about 2 years ago) but neither of us workout like we used to. Where this has caused me to not only keep my baby weight, it is also making we gain more. He on the other hand has lost weight (only muscle, without gaining fat) from not working out. He is really skinny and has never been fat in his life. Yesterday we went grocery shopping and it almost seemed like he was getting mad about me trying to get healthier food. He always says he doesnt care about my weight, that he will love me no matter what, but its getting to the point that I just dont like myself like this, and I really want and need his support but I'm just not getting it. I'm not sure what or even if I can do anything to get him to understand. I just dont know.

First and foremost, SEMPER FI!!!!!!!

I have a similar problem at home. I had to move back in with my parents for awhile (thank you, economy), and while they SAY they support me, I get similar crap. My mother is willing to pick up healthy stuff for me if I request it (celery and sugar free gelatin, for example), but there is always JUNK around the house. When I politely, respectfully ask that some of this stuff be removed, I get the argument that my brother (himself a Marine, BTW) likes them. Never mind, if you ask him, he'll say he'd rather not have it around!

I realize your situation is somewhat different as it's your husband, but it's still a shared-household situation. Would it help to pick up healthier things on your own in addition to his foods? (I don't know if this is financially possible for you, especially with a little one that also causes expenses!)

As for working out, get your Marine booty out there! I know you can do it - I don't think I could EVER do what you guys have to do, physically!!

T1mH

Don't try to make all your changes at once. That is one of the big reasons so many people fail at this. They try to make a change overnight and set unreasonable expectations. Only make small changes that you can maintain long term. Those are much easier to accept and adapt to if you ease into them. Eventually they can lead to big changes but don't make those changes overnight.

You probably won't be able to get him to give up what he considers "normal" eating. You probably won't be able to stop him from keeping all the foods that tempt you in the house. This makes what you want to do more difficult but I'm sure you can do it.

You will make a lot of awe-full "healthy" recipes. Don't expect him to eat these things but encourage him to try them. Along the way you will discover things that you really like and hopefully things he likes. Keep trying different things.

Communication and having a plan are key to the success of this operation.