How do you keep from giving unsolicited advice?

NYCNika
NYCNika Posts: 611 Member
in Food and Nutrition
When someone you know starts a diet of protein shakes and one meal a day for 1,000 calories total?

I know that is going to fail, but saying something would be discouraging. This comes after a failed nutrisystem diet. None of them last long.

Why are people so hell bend on a diet of eating primarily one thing, be it crappy chemical shakes, cabbage or grapefruit or whatever?
How can they this this is good for their bodies or sustainable? Of course they will be miserable.

Eating healthy food(in appropriate portion) of as much variety as possible is logically the best strategy, but people don't believe that option works.
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Replies

  • BamBam125
    BamBam125 Posts: 229 Member
    If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

    Live your life as a good example without pointing it out to others. If you're good at it and they feel they can talk to you without being put down, they'll notice and may ask you for advice. Then you can tell them comfortably because they have solicited you for guidance.
  • zhvah18
    zhvah18 Posts: 158 Member
    About 3 months ago a gal here in my office decided to start one of those shake diets. It was all I could do to bite my tounge. I figure, it's her journey, she watched me lose for the past year and a half. If she wanted my advice she'd ask.
  • MySlimGoals
    MySlimGoals Posts: 754 Member
    One of the men at my last job started the Lemon Detox diet - he brought 2 weeks worth for about $200. Then he came to work for three days in a row with just a bottle of water which had some lemon syrup in it. I tried so hard not to laugh (I acted supportive instead) Then it fell apart within 3 days because he couldn't handle it any longer. Some people just believe in quick fixes and can't just simply attempt to live healthily which in the long term is more pleasant and better for your body.
  • pumpkinspice84
    pumpkinspice84 Posts: 160 Member
    I keep it to myself. If their diet fails and they ask what I am doing I will share.
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    Not much use in saying anything. You usually end up being the *kitten* that's raining on their parade so you might as well just sit back and watch the show. I've watched my daughter in law go through every fad diet you can think of, spend thousands of dollars and weigh more now than she did before. She's ask me many times how I lost weight and when I say eat less, do more she still looks at me like I'm insane because it can't be that EASY!
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Bite my tongue, bite my tongue, bite my tongue. There is nothing else to do. I did tell a friend on FB who is starting Isagenix that if it didn't work out, she could simply tally up the calorie counts that the shakes would have been and try eating that in real food. I linked to MFP. And then I closed out the window. That's the most I've said to anyone and that is the most I will continue to say, if anything at all.
  • melsinct
    melsinct Posts: 3,512 Member
    I keep it to myself. If their diet fails and they ask what I am doing I will share.

    Ditto.

    Remember most of us on MFP used to be overweight and not on the path to slimming down. I am sure you wouldn't have appreciated unsolicited diet advice then (Hey, why don't you eat salad instead of that fatty monster roast beef sandwich!), just as your coworkers and friends won't appreciate your unsolicited thoughts.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    I don't say anything to my real-life friends about the dumb ideas they have about weight loss. I just wish them well and secretly hope they're one of the fraction of a percent of people who it works out for. I invite them to do things with me to stay active, and if they ask how I lost weight, I tell them.
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    You dont' even want to know some of the things I have heard a coworker do when trying to lose weight. Some of the things that come out of his mouth are more dangerous than not eating.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Topic: How do you keep from giving unsolicited advice?

    By minding my own damn business
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    Topic: How do you keep from giving unsolicited advice?

    1. close mouth
    2. turn around
    3. walk away
  • OkieinMinny
    OkieinMinny Posts: 834 Member
    One of my oldest and best friends told me last night she is doing the 3 day military diet and asked if I wanted to - my reply was: nope

    and then left it at that

    Edited: I think is STOOOPID but didnt say that -
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Depends on how good of a friend it is. My true good friends I can be straight up with and I would be. If it was my best friend, it's probably go something like, "what...that's bull**** dude...eat some real friggin' food and just watch it." If it's a co-worker or acquaintance, I just keep my mouth shut unless they ask me. If they're a semi-close friend I might just hint that I've tried that and it didn't work or something.

    If it's my wife, I'd be up **** creek...she doesn't like me giving her advice, solicited or not.
  • Serena_Kitty
    Serena_Kitty Posts: 38
    I think it would be harder to give unsolicited advice than to stop myself from giving unsolicited advice.

    It's not an interest of mine - besides, most of us have no idea what people have or haven't tried in their lifetime, or what they "know" about nutrition.
  • dare2love81
    dare2love81 Posts: 928 Member
    Apparently by staying out of the forums. Because it seems no one here wants to hear the truth unless it's sugarcoated and spoken by unicorns.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Take it out on the MFP forum instead. Lots of people here who could use some advice. :laugh:
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    I stopped giving advice even when it's solicited...simply because there is no magic pill or potion and the people are asking for secrets. Tell them to eat less and move more and be honest with themselves and lift some weights and exercise totally blows their mind...because they've already tried that for like a whole month and it didn't work.

    Last bit of advice I gave was along the lines of "you really don't need to log calories burned from cooking dinner as cardio. Also, the housework calories are probably over estimated. Just stick with your walking and maybe jog a minute or two, join me at the gym, I can get you in for nothing on my membership, and basically do something you don't normally do. Also, getting a heart rate monitor isn't a "must" but it wouldn't hurt either" The response I got from that was they were going to log it because it was in MFP..and did I know how much they sweat cleaning the house and cooking?? Also, they don't have the "luxury" of going to the gym like I do, so they have to get any bit of exercised logged as they could.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    I staple my mouth shut.
  • KristineW78
    KristineW78 Posts: 42 Member
    I change my words. For instance, I would say - Did you know that if ... Or, Have you tried this or This worked for me yada yada. It's all in how you phrase it. People like to know what others are having real results with so if you share your story that may help!
    I dunno, I am not one of those people to hold back but I do try to offer constructive criticism in a gentle way!
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    How would you like someone commenting on something like that? You wouldn't. . .especially if you feel you've "investigated" this diet thoroughly. Just like most other posters have said. . .keep quiet. Just keep being successful and IF asked how you did/do it. . .give 'em all the good advice you can muster. Until then. . .mums the word.
  • creamyjalapeno
    creamyjalapeno Posts: 10 Member
    This! Keep your mouth shut and stop being judge-y. You are likely not an expert on nutrition so keep your opinions to yourself. I absolutely hate it when people chime in with "helpful" advice when I didn't ask.
  • MellyGibson
    MellyGibson Posts: 297 Member
    I'm fortunate that I don't have to deal with this an awful lot. When I have been told by someone they are going to do some crazy fad diet/plan/thing then I figure they've let me in on their business and I can feel better about saying something. I ask them to tell me more about it, and then tactfully explain how eating real food and changing up a few things in their normal routine could benefit them more and save them some money.
  • OfficerFuzzy
    OfficerFuzzy Posts: 222 Member
    How do you mean? I tell people they should use MFP and count calories.
    Sometimes I tell people about cereal. (Did you know that Lucky Charms is, though more sugary, likely more healthy than more granola cereals?)
    I am the most tactful cashier ever.
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
    I keep it to myself. If their diet fails and they ask what I am doing I will share.

    Precisely.
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
    How do you mean? I tell people they should use MFP and count calories.
    Sometimes I tell people about cereal. (Did you know that Lucky Charms is, though more sugary, likely more healthy than more granola cereals?)
    I am the most tactful cashier ever.

    Do you do this when they ask or just whenever they're coming through your line and you feel the need to "inform" them? If you pulled this with me while I was checking out, I'd be pissed.
  • UKMarjie
    UKMarjie Posts: 257 Member
    When someone you know starts a diet of protein shakes and one meal a day for 1,000 calories total?

    I know that is going to fail, but saying something would be discouraging. This comes after a failed nutrisystem diet. None of them last long.

    Why are people so hell bend on a diet of eating primarily one thing, be it crappy chemical shakes, cabbage or grapefruit or whatever?
    How can they this this is good for their bodies or sustainable? Of course they will be miserable.

    Eating healthy food(in appropriate portion) of as much variety as possible is logically the best strategy, but people don't believe that option works.

    My thing is the smug ones: "You are going to hate me - I lost 7 lbs eating just Miso soup all week - that's like half of what you lost doing all that work isn't it?!" < No I don't hate you - I think you are somewhat $tupid and a bit of an *kitten* for taunting me - but when you balloon back up and then some I will still be supportive because maybe you'll make a good gym partner later...or at least keep your nonsense to yourself next time.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    It's actually really easy for me. I have respect for other people's free will.
  • wellbert
    wellbert Posts: 3,924 Member
    Flow chart:

    Are you their mother?
    Yes - Unsolicited advice.
    No - KYFMS.
  • petstorekitty
    petstorekitty Posts: 592 Member
    I say nothing and laugh evily to myself and wait for them to FAIL!!!!!!!!!


    This comes from years of solicited and unsolicited advice giving.
    And from people calling me obsessed because I exercise on Mondays or Fridays and then turn around and go on Shake diets or only eat celery for lunch to lose weight.

    I HATE it when people ask for my advice and ignore it. (On any subject, tbh.)
    I hope they enjoy their starvation diet and all the tissues they will go through from crying when they gain 50lbs right back when they eat real food again.
  • elvie64
    elvie64 Posts: 32 Member
    Research I've read on breaking addictions/habits all report that a failed attempt is better than no attempt, and all successes come from trying, anyway, anyhow, any number of times, but just trying. Hopefully you keep trying and reach the "tipping point" of success. So no unsolicited advice from me, just a "good luck".

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