Are we teaching our kids to be too sensitive?

Ramberta

Yes, schools are too sensitive. Not too far from my house, some elementary school kid got suspended for pointing their finger like a gun and saying "bang bang."

I've had something similar happen at my daughter's school but it played out a little differently:

It was a pottery painting party and so we didn't want too many kids. My daughter had the invitations and wanted to give them out to her friends personally. The teacher confiscated the invitations because they were becoming too much of a distraction and asked her not to talk about the invitations. I came to school to confront the teacher and she explained to me that she wanted to spare the uninvited kid's feelings and quietly tuck invitations into the invited kid's take home folders but ran out of time that day.

More or less, it sounds like your niece's son had the same experience.

Edit: My daughter was only inviting about 6 people from her class and a few other kids from other class rooms.

Why couldn't you (and OP for that matter) just have gotten the invited kids' addresses and actually mailed out the invitations? That seems most logical to me... and if they're too little to know it and write it down for your child, then there's usually some kind of student directory that should be able to help you out that gets handed out each year. Perhaps snail mail really is out of style these days...

lyrical_melody

why doesnt the mom mail the invites ?

HaleyxErin

My question is if she works at the school couldn't she just get in touch with the parents? I know this isn't really the point but it seems that going straight to the parents would have been a better idea to begin with.

nerdyglasses15

I don't know about other nationalities, but americans definitely are. In Brazil, you're taught since you're little that certain people are not going to like you, and if they don't, they wont want you near them, and you learn to deal with it. You move on. I'm bipolar, and my reactions can be PRETTY extreme and I can get upset easily, but even so, I've never gotten upset over a birthday party or things like that. I just think, hey, they don't like me for something, let me go talk to them to find out what, or hey, they don't like me, and I'm not their biggest friend, so forget about it.

liesevanlingen

My kids school also has the rule that you can't hand out invitations in school, even if you are inviting the whole class. Snail mail or email works just fine. We have our kids bring a treat to share with the other kids in the classroom (cookies, muffins, fruit, whatever) and then they can have a little "mini-party" with their whole class.

Sapporo

Kindergarten and not all kids get invited to the party? I have never known anyone who does that. Grade 3 or 4 it starts to be friends only or same sex only. All kids are friends in kindergarten. Maybe we're just nicer people here.

kennethmgreen

I love it when someone barges in and starts going "have you ever been the parent of that kid who wasn't invited?", you're exactly what we're talking about,

But you haven't been talking. Two years on MFP, and this was your first post.

...
the people who teach their kid that they're special above everyone else, not just special to you, but so special that they shouldn't be excluded or not-included from anything the other kids are/aren't.

I agree that this is a problem.

I agree with some of the rest of what you wrote.

So what's the solution?

christina0089

If all the boys but one is being invited that would IMO be hurtful to the child left out. I know that the child uses curse words alot but if you really take into consideration that the child is in Kindergarten meaning he is what 5-6 y/o? That behavior comes from somwhere.. Maybe he is having a hard time at home. Maybe he is subjected to alot of cursing or fighting or even abuse. That being the case the child probably feels alone enough being left out is going to just make matters worse. Maybe if he is included and feels wanted it will make a good impression on him one that he might not be getting anywhere else.


Best luck to your sister with this situation.

Admiral_Derp

Everyone doesn't deserve everything and everyone's affection just because they exist. Besides...how are you going to teach your kid that they're a beautiful and unique snowflake if they're all convinced that they're all exactly the same and there are no winners or losers? You can't be unique if you're not taught to excel, and you can't excel without taking the risk of failure. The earlier people learn this...the better.

smantha32

Yes, I dread the day my daughter goes to school. I wonder when school stopped being about education, and started being about feelings, and a social testing ground for certain ideas? They are talking about expanding the hours of school here. I wonder why myself, they are already not teaching the kids enough with the hours they do have, it seems school has become less about reading, writing, and arthmetic, and more about "team spirit" and "sensitivity to others". I guess we need to give our kids one more hours of knowing how to treat each other and that will solve all of our problems.

Home schooling. I know several people who do it because they want their kid to actually get an education instead of being programmed to be a drone in society.

AnnDenny

lacurandera1

Absolutely we (well, you people. idh kids) are. Just take a look around you at the people who are already grown whose parents raised them to have zero accountability and blame everyone else for their failures. These people are breeding. It's bad news.