I feel like healthy living ruins my social life..

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  • beskimoosh
    beskimoosh Posts: 375 Member
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    Partying is over rated. Even when I was 18 I could never find enjoyment in going out every weekend and drinking ("partying"). You're not missing much (except a hangover), so I wouldn't consider living a healthier lifestyle to be "ruining".

    Ahh okay ha. And I already did go through a party phase and I pretty much did quit because it got boring... But i'm shy and alcohol makes me fun... So i feel like this is the only way to socialize. Plus i feel weird saying i dont want to drink... People make a big deal out of it :/

    I sometimes secretly don't drink, if you've got a lime and soda, everyone will just presume there's vodka in it! Also, if I'm going to someones house for dinner, they're a good friend. So I tell them I'm eating healthily, and ask them if they can accommodate that. If not, I ask what we're having, and work my butt off so I can have it with them. We do sometimes go out with my partners friends, so I can't plan in advance, so I put in a big workout before, and then another the next day if I need to balance things out any more.

    Hope that helps a bit!
  • panano
    panano Posts: 62 Member
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    Since I was home schooled and acquired my GED at a young age, I never went out much, which led to me losing most of my friends because I was always too busy with school. Now I don't go out much either, mostly because I don't like the kind of foods my friends like eating (going to pizza parlors, or fast food joints, the movie theater...not healthy) But you can definitely go out with friends and do plenty of things that don't involve eating! If they're not encouraging about your food choices, then yes, find a different, more supportive group of friends!
  • Ascolti_la_musica
    Ascolti_la_musica Posts: 676 Member
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    Ahh okay ha. And I already did go through a party phase and I pretty much did quit because it got boring... But i'm shy and alcohol makes me fun... So i feel like this is the only way to socialize. Plus i feel weird saying i dont want to drink... People make a big deal out of it :/

    I don't drink for a long list of personal reasons. People ask why, and are never satisfied with any reason I give. So I lie. I say I *am* an alcoholic. Usually, they just say "oh" or "ok" and leave it at that. I am more than happy to mix drinks or research wine pairings, though, so people just assume I have experience from my nonexistent "drinking days," and go about their business.

    Eating out can be tricky, but planning ahead can make it work for you. No one blinks at the fat chick ordering a salad. Not really. Just keep the conversation going. Have fun.

    Or, as others suggested, try to befriend the people in your fitness classes or whatever.
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
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    Partying is over rated. Even when I was 18 I could never find enjoyment in going out every weekend and drinking ("partying"). You're not missing much (except a hangover), so I wouldn't consider living a healthier lifestyle to be "ruining".

    Agreed. I'm 24 and my idea of a party is hanging with my friends with video games and netflix (Doctor Who anyone?).

    Though I do agree with the OP somewhat. I do so well with eating healthy and then when I hang with y friends, I binge on chips, ice cream, burgers, candy. ANd then I feel awful so I put in extra gym time the next day
  • meganepreston
    meganepreston Posts: 487 Member
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    I go out with my friends about twice a month and when I started watching my caloric intake, I HATED when they would buy me drinks or ask why I stopped drinking. Then I realized that if I offered to DD nobody questioned my non-drinking. They always still invite me out (because I'm awesome!) and I feel good knowing everybody will get home safe. And nobody forces drinks at me. I just budget for a couple of sodas and then switch to water. Makes for a great night :D
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,473 Member
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    i will have a few drinks for ya.
  • JeepBrah
    JeepBrah Posts: 150
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    Just do whatever you enjoy 2 do.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
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    I take things to the extreme and working for a good body is what i have been focusing on for awhile.... I have depression, but i feel like my goals are just making it all worse.... I am a young, and i used to be spontaneous and fun.... but now i feel like the opposite. And food seems to be a huge cause! I feel soooooooo bad if i eat something that is not extremely healthy... And i stay home a lot, while most people my age are out partying... I really need some advice of how to balance my social life and my health out!!!

    A. Most restaurants have some sort of healthy food choice. If there is a steak option I go for that and exchange my chips for extra salad or vegetables.

    B. If you're worried you are isolating yourself then you need to try and break the pattern. When I had this problem I set myself the small goal of leaving the house twice a day, every day. Even if it was just a walk to the shops or coffee with a friend/work colleague.

    I also agree that this may be beyond the scope of what advice you can get on MFP and it may be better to talk to a health professional or trusted family member/friend who knows you and your patterns of behaviour.
  • HortensiaD
    HortensiaD Posts: 3
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    For me a party crowd is not safe (people are drunk and say things they would not normally say). I would work through the shyness (maybe some counseling) and get uncomfortable by meeting like minded people. Join groups that are healthy and find people who don't drink and have a good time. If anyone teases you about not drinking - they can take a hike.

    This takes effort but you can do it.
  • jacquelinepinksen
    jacquelinepinksen Posts: 1
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    It sounds to me that you need to start looking at your relationship with food and start to take your power back around food rather than giving it power. Stop labeling foods as good or bad and start thinking about them as healthier and less healthy. Also plan when you are going to make unhealthier choices, just like you are probably planning all of your healthier choices. This way you can participate with food in a way that is balanced and doesn't make you feel awful. Also if you want to have dessert or appies, see if your friends want to split the high calorie options. Also ask for half portions to be served if you are not splitting and pack the rest before it come to the table.

    When you are going out with friends and socializing, help choose the place that you feel comfortable going to. Look at menus before you go and make choices from home rather than out so you are not tempted by other food choices. If you want to have a drink or two, always cut with club soda or diet option and have a water in between any drinks to keep calories low.

    J
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    The only thing that ruins your social life is having children.

    Your social life becomes reading books, coloring Dora pages, and building Legos. On a Saturday night. Watching Spongebob and ready to go to bed by 9pm. That's how we roll over here.

    I have 4 children, and my social life is not, nor has it ever been ruined.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    Partying is over rated. Even when I was 18 I could never find enjoyment in going out every weekend and drinking ("partying"). You're not missing much (except a hangover), so I wouldn't consider living a healthier lifestyle to be "ruining".

    Ahh okay ha. And I already did go through a party phase and I pretty much did quit because it got boring... But i'm shy and alcohol makes me fun... So i feel like this is the only way to socialize. Plus i feel weird saying i dont want to drink... People make a big deal out of it :/



    I sometimes secretly don't drink, if you've got a lime and soda, everyone will just presume there's vodka in it! Also, if I'm going to someones house for dinner, they're a good friend. So I tell them I'm eating healthily, and ask them if they can accommodate that. If not, I ask what we're having, and work my butt off so I can have it with them. We do sometimes go out with my partners friends, so I can't plan in advance, so I put in a big workout before, and then another the next day if I need to balance things out any more.

    Hope that helps a bit!

    when you become an adult, you get to make your own decisions, and in theory, you ought to have enough sense not to be peer-pressured into anything. You do not have to "secretly" not drink.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    Honestly, I always find this topic bizarre. I have never in my life noticed people reacting oddly toward me when I decline a drink, fries, pizza, or whatever. I have all kinds of friends -- fit, fat, partiers and straight-and-narrow folks. I don't recall ever being criticized or belittled for working out, or choosing a salad instead of a burger.

    Even in college, I would attend parties and not drink (they always had beer--I hate beer), and I don't remember anyone saying anything, much less teasing me about it.

    You should look into joining the "don't give a *kitten* club". Membership is free.
  • bbbgamer
    bbbgamer Posts: 582 Member
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    Honestly, I always find this topic bizarre. I have never in my life noticed people reacting oddly toward me when I decline a drink, fries, pizza, or whatever. I have all kinds of friends -- fit, fat, partiers and straight-and-narrow folks. I don't recall ever being criticized or belittled for working out, or choosing a salad instead of a burger.

    Even in college, I would attend parties and not drink (they always had beer--I hate beer), and I don't remember anyone saying anything, much less teasing me about it.

    You should look into joining the "don't give a *kitten* club". Membership is free.

    I havent noticed this either, either I have great friends or I dont give a f!!! either way, we get along just fine...
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
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    I know how you feel I am always afraid to go out with people cuz they always want to include alcohol or junk food or go out to restaurants alll the time!! It is annoying because they will spontaneously ask me to go out to eat but I can't just blow like 1200 cals on one meal cuz they insist on going out to eat instead of going to the park or something and then when I do try to get something better to eat as an alternative they whine and complain that I'm being a party pooper -_- So i budge and get something to make them feel comfortable and then I am way over for the day and end up punishing myself trying to do damage control. So I just stopped going with people all together. For certain occasions I will plan out a cheat day/meal but other than that I can't balance things out either.
  • IvanDimitrov
    IvanDimitrov Posts: 24
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    I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
  • samantha1242
    samantha1242 Posts: 816 Member
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    I felt like that too until I realized that my social life was unhealthy and consisted of only partying nonstop, eating after and being hungover. I'd rather miss out on parties and focus on finding new friends who would rather go for a hike then spend the day hungover discussing how many shots they did.
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
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    I know how you feel I am always afraid to go out with people cuz they always want to include alcohol or junk food or go out to restaurants alll the time!! It is annoying because they will spontaneously ask me to go out to eat but I can't just blow like 1200 cals on one meal cuz they insist on going out to eat instead of going to the park or something and then when I do try to get something better to eat as an alternative they whine and complain that I'm being a party pooper -_- So i budge and get something to make them feel comfortable and then I am way over for the day and end up punishing myself trying to do damage control. So I just stopped going with people all together. For certain occasions I will plan out a cheat day/meal but other than that I can't balance things out either.


    I dunno, if they're gonna talk down to you for ordering something healthy, i wouldnt let that get to you Just imagine all the fat they're consuming and how lean you're body will stay:-)

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