Friends not encouraging about losing weight?

geojeepgirl

Wow....with your first post I had the feeling that she was probably asking you for help in her own way. Some people like their hand held to start a journey until they figure out they need to do it for themselves no one can do it for them. But with your second post...maybe not, since she was dissing your food choices in your own home verses dissing her bad food choices. Sucks to lose any friends but you dont need constant negativity either.

PikaKnight

You are a great friend for encouraging her but the fact is she's just looking for excuses not to get off her bum and do something about it. And she's upset at you because you are doing what she should be. If you succeed, where does that leave her?

At some point, you are going to have to switch from the "nice, encouraging friend" to the "put my foot down and tell it to you straight" friend. You need to just tell her, "Look. either you are going to do this or not..and if not, then stop complaining."

Yeah, that sounds harsh, but it'll either help her quit taking her insecurities and failures out on you and get her to own her life or...it will force you both to evaluate our friendship...especially for your sake. You've got your own life, goals, and struggles to go through. The last thing you need is to have someone seriously pressing your buttons and hitting your weaknesses to make you fail.

CoraGregoryCPA

I tell people I LOVE my gym. No one ever accuses me of being addicted to exercise when I say that. I go to the gym 6 days a week and sometimes twice a day. It's fun!

i know exactly what you are talking about my sisters say the same things to me and my mom even said "well sure you can lose weight you were skinny before and are still young" My grandma even accused me of being addicted to exercise ( I didnt know that was a thing)

ninerbuff

Girlfriends don't like competition.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

CoraGregoryCPA

Turn this attitude around! When you order a salad, make it the BEST salad possible and then brag about how yummy it is because of the fresh cut vegetables and the yummy croutons. That's what I do. Everyone at work thinks I'm crazy about salads and I make them fun. Every week I put in a different vegetable. One of my coworkers brought a salad to work one day. And stated "I did the salad for one day, and did not have a desire for another one". She had lettuce and carrots. I'm like, you gotta put some garbanzo beans in there or cottage cheese or croutons-Make it fun! My point is, show your friend how "fun" and not boring or restrictive this is. Maybe get a small piece of cake to show her how you still can eat fun but have limitations. You ordered a salad because you love the vegetables. Don't talk about her butter or fried foods. Just talk about your kick *kitten* salad!

My sister does the "no carb" and she isn't that successful at it. We went to Outback as a family. She was shaking at the table trying to refuse the awesome bread. I ate that and the bloomin onion. I was trying to show her how you can still eat but you have to work it in your calories. She is still on the unsuccessful "no carb". I can't imagine what her insides are going through.

I've been working really hard to lose the pounds and the friends act like I've somehow betrayed them?
I.E. - I didn't have a Valentines someone to be with, and neither did she, so she says we should go have a girl's night out instead! Sounded great to me! So I go out and buy this really great dress that shows off all my curves (I've worked hard for them, I deserve to show them off) and the whole night she just keeps going on and on about how she's been fat her whole life, and "everyday is a cheat day" and I ordered a salad and she got all upset about it...
I don't understand...I thought she'd be happy for me. But she keeps talking about how fat she is and how she can't lose weight (or won't) and a whole lot of other things. Does anyone else have friends that act weird around you just because you've decided to get healthy? How do I deal with it? It's just awkward around her now..

panano

So much encouragement, thank you all! I will try to push her in the right direction! I had the same thoughts - she really just wants help and she feels bad that she doesn't know where to start. The more I think about it, she's grown up in a really food-conflicted home! Her mom is a health freak - very fit and healthy. On the other hand, her dad is overweight, and orders nothing but sodas and pizzas...now, what, do you think, are the kids going to eat? It all started at a super young age, from what I understand...she and her brothers were never taught how to eat properly, so, when she puts down the food I eat, it's because in all honesty, she hasn't developed the pallet for it yet, because she never eats anything good.

Maybe I should just invite her over more often and we could cook together and I'll show her how fun and delicious healthy food can be! I really want her to get healthy! Like I said she's wonderful and she deserves to love herself - You only get one body, so love it!

33Chief

Getting healthy is tough and until someone does it they will never understand. Good luck to you!

FitBlackChick

I have a friend who said I make her feel uncomfortable whenever I ask her what she's having for dinner. But I don't mean to, I love food, and it's just me making conversation :frown:

I guess the obvious solution is to stop asking her so as not to seem like I'm doing it on purpose

HungryKoala

Just dont talk to her about the subject of weight, if she asks why you ordered what you ordered say 'I really craved it, or that sounds delicious"