Husband doesn't like my body?
lastinlineforlunch
Posts: 5 Member
Losing my will to lose weight feeling depresses s and unmotivated...can't help but feel I've already lost the war before th battle. Don't know what to do...I think my husband is ino different female body types than mine.
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Replies
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Why would you think that first of all? And if he is married and loves you and is faithful to you, he loves EVERYTHING about you. Small or big, short or tall. Would like more information to help if I can >.<0
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Just be the best you can be. It's not a good idea to think like that, anyway.0
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I'm thinking your feeling depressed because of your own insecurities. You want to be that beast again your going to have to work harder for it. Are you doing this for you or for him and if you say him, It's the wrong answer.0
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Become fit and healthy for YOU. Doing it for someone else is a recipe for failure.
Also, stop trying to read your husband's mind. Just because a man is strongly attracted to a certain body type doesn't mean he is automatically repulsed by all others. Give the guy a little credit, and give you both a break! You're imagining all sorts of scenarios that most likely exist no where but within the distorted funhouse mirror that is your own low self-esteem.
Just breathe. Focus on why you want to be healthy. Move forward, step by step. Let everything else fall into place.0 -
I disagree. I don't know you or your husband but I am guessing that you are the one that does not like your body. Change for yourself because you deserve that! All things are possible. Great things take hard work.0
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Usually when we don't like our own bodies, we assume no one else does either. And we only see the evidence that supports our negative body image. I encourage you to make sure you're separating your feelings from what you think your husband's are.0
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Why do you think that he likes other body types? Has he indicated this to you if not please don't go there. You need to learn to love yourself regardless of what others may think. Get rid of the negatives thoughts that you are having right now and keep telling yourself that you can do this. Don't let this defeat you. Tomorrow is a new day start it wth a positive attitude get back to doing yor calorie dairy if you have stopped. Look at what you are eating. Drink plenty of water and add some strenght trainng and cardio and you will see a change in your body. I am so happy for the little accomplishments.:flowerforyou:0
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I love that you are making changes in your life to be happier. Instead of feeling bad about your weight and beating yourself up about it, you are trying to make things different. As you lose the weight you will feel more energetic, proud of your accomplishment, and happy. This will draw people to you, including your husband. Your husband knew what your body type was when he married you. My advice is to try to love yourself. Confidence is sexy!
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I just assume that my boyfriend likes other body types besides mine. He's a man. That's natural. Sometimes when we watch TV together we'll ask each other if we think a certain actor/actress is attractive and I am often surprised by his responses - because some of the women look nothing like me.
But they aren't sitting next to him, and they never will be. Just like Mark Wahlberg will never be sitting next to me. :ohwell:
Unless your husband comes right out and says, "Honey, I am not attracted to your body type," then try to understand that you may be overreacting to your own insecurities about your body. Talk to him about it, if you want, but not in the "Am I the only woman you ever look at?" kind of discussion. Don't make him lie. All men look. And so do we.
Yes. Yes we do.0 -
As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.0
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I don't project annoying o. To him I have a little more self esteem than that....it's not my fault that these pictures of females that he likes keep appearing in my news feed...I'm doing it for myself don't let that fool you but it doesn't help that I'm not getting the emotional support that I need...smh it's hard to explain its one of those things where you would have to walk in my shoes to understand... Just need to know it there's a light at the end of the tunnel0
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There is a scene in that Eat, Pray love Movie that talks about this - if you take your clothes off, does he tell you to go away? lol
The photo looks like he is very happy - maybe you are just doubting yourself. Stop it! Stop it now! You can be a better you (whatever you you want to be). Go do it and be successful at it - you will be amazed at the empowerment you achieve!!!0 -
You asked for advice on the internet, and several people said the same thing to you because most of us actually HAVE been in your shoes. But it sounds like you wanted validation.I don't project annoying o. To him I have a little more self esteem than that....it's not my fault that these pictures of females that he likes keep appearing in my news feed...I'm doing it for myself don't let that fool you but it doesn't help that I'm not getting the emotional support that I need...smh it's hard to explain its one of those things where you would have to walk in my shoes to understand... Just need to know it there's a light at the end of the tunnel
These women's bodies come up on your news feed because those bodies are what's being photographed. Maxim and Playboy magazines aren't filled with pictures of women who look like general everyday women like moms, sisters, and coworkers. (I'm aware many moms, sisters, and coworkers are incredibly fit and sexy too, but my point is that these photos are for looking at and appreciating the female form.)
Most guys don't marry just because they like their potential wife's body. The overall package was likely impressive to him, meaning he is pleased with your body as well as everything else. But how YOU feel about yourself is what you're projecting. Confident women aren't threatened by photos on the internet. And that is why you received the replies that you did here. You need to get square with yourself. If you don't want to own that, that's up to you. All of the replies here basically just want you to feel good about yourself. Good luck.0 -
As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.0
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As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.
omg!:laugh: I totally spaced out & clicked before I even formed my thought!!!!:ohwell: more coffee pleassssssse0 -
In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.0 -
My husband usually finds short, petite, elfin-like women attractive. If I had to pick a type it would be a dark haired dark eyed Oded Fehr type guy. We're both total opposites of our respective types, but here we are, married and happy and completely in love. You can find other people attractive without saying your spouse isn't what you want. You marry the one you love. It's not just the outside that counts.0
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I just assume that my boyfriend likes other body types besides mine. He's a man. That's natural. Sometimes when we watch TV together we'll ask each other if we think a certain actor/actress is attractive and I am often surprised by his responses - because some of the women look nothing like me. But they aren't sitting next to him, and they never will be. Just like Mark Wahlberg will never be sitting next to me. :ohwell:
Unless your husband comes right out and says, "Honey, I am not attracted to your body type," then try to understand that you may be overreacting to your own insecurities about your body. Talk to him about it, if you want, but not in the "Am I the only woman you ever look at?" kind of discussion. Don't make him lie. All men look. And so do we.
Yes. Yes we do.
Too true. Especially at mark wahlberg :blushing:0 -
I just assume that my boyfriend likes other body types besides mine. He's a man. That's natural. Sometimes when we watch TV together we'll ask each other if we think a certain actor/actress is attractive and I am often surprised by his responses - because some of the women look nothing like me. But they aren't sitting next to him, and they never will be. Just like Mark Wahlberg will never be sitting next to me. :ohwell:
Unless your husband comes right out and says, "Honey, I am not attracted to your body type," then try to understand that you may be overreacting to your own insecurities about your body. Talk to him about it, if you want, but not in the "Am I the only woman you ever look at?" kind of discussion. Don't make him lie. All men look. And so do we.
Yes. Yes we do.
oh so very much this.. my hubby will even sometimes suggest I watch some TVserie with him because he knows I will like an actor or two in it
...and those actors are often not even remotely similar to him in looks. I like to believe we chose each other for more than just looks :drinker: 0 -
In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls
Your husband doesn't have any female friends?
OP - It's horrible to feel un-wanted or that you aren't good enough, IF he is saying or doing things to make you feel like that, that is emotional bullying! And only weak people bully, be the strong one.
From what I have read I do agree with most people when they say do it for you! Let him realise how much the change means to you, get him involved, don't shut him out. And get yourself out of the negative mindset chick, it always seems worse when it's happening to you0 -
people can like many types of bodies.. I'm sure he likes yours, he IS married to you 0
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You think he doesn't like your body because he looks at bodies that don't look like yours? My guess is he likes lots of different kinds of bodies, including yours.0
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As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.
Here's what I was going to say...my husband comes in the room all the time as I'm getting dressed. It's hilarious because I run and lock the door quick like a bunny on *****cat feet & secretly giggle like an *kitten* when he stops dead almost smacking his nose on the door when he realizes it's locked :laugh: omg! and then the meek knock on the door asking to come in :flowerforyou: I'm terribly mean to him cause if I were a little girl on the playground, he'd put gum in my hair every time he saw me his words, not mine :smooched:
The truth is, I don't let him see allllll the time, but I do let him catch me even though I feel like a baby beluga & likely look like one too :blushing: I can't tell you how funny this is to me:laugh: The beauty of not icing him out every time is he never knows when it's coming :bigsmile:0 -
o crap! u can't say putty cat??????:huh:0
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I don't project annoying o. To him I have a little more self esteem than that....it's not my fault that these pictures of females that he likes keep appearing in my news feed...I'm doing it for myself don't let that fool you but it doesn't help that I'm not getting the emotional support that I need...smh it's hard to explain its one of those things where you would have to walk in my shoes to understand... Just need to know it there's a light at the end of the tunnel
You're a jealous person, and that will be the undoing of your marriage. If you're seething because he has female friends, then you're in for a long and painful journey through life. The majority of men you'll meet will have some lady friends within their social network. It doesn't mean he wants or fantasizes or thinks about these women. If you don't have any evidence of impropriety or infidelity, then you shouldn't waste brainpower on it.0 -
bless you dont despair ....I never stop trying every day... some days I win some I lose but I never stop....:flowerforyou: this is your time no one else hold your head high always someone on here to listen!!!0
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I'm 5'4", equally proportioned between legs and torso, an athletic build, I have a big old donk, red wavy hair, and green eyes. All the other women my husband dated were at least 5'7", pancake *kitten*, legs all day . . . he loves me and he's attracted to me (all the shapes and sizes I've been), but he's also attracted to that body type.
My husband is 5'10", mostly torso (our legs are almost the same length), brown hair, green eyes. I am mostly attracted to men over 6' tall, and there is nothing in the world like a heinze 57 of exotic features on a banging body (although I'm less discerning about ethnicity). I love him and I'm attracted to him (all the shapes and sizes he's been).
We actually have more of an issue with gaining insecurities within ourselves, finding ourselves less attractive, and then the bedroom confidence decreases.0 -
Then he doen't like you now does he? Then why did he marry you? Wasn't it "for better or worse?"0
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In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken. .
recipe for disaster!
Sure he hates looking at all women besides you. I'm sure he's never looked at porn either!0 -
Men and Women can be attracted to many, many different body types, and you can't take it personally, if I compared myself to any chick my husband found attractive or "liked" the look of I'd have too many false ideals to compare myself to. Anyone one of my husbands past girlfriends were tall, blond and skinny-dancer-type bodies, im 5'4, brown hair and 170lbs. and guess what, he's been with ME for 8 years, not those other girls. It used to make me feel insecure that I didn't look like them but I'm the one he wants to be with and that may be something I have to remind myself of time to time but it's a fact. Try to separate how you think your husband feels about your body and how he actually feels about your body. Have a conversation with him about it, be open and honest, he's your husband, he's the one you're supposed to go to about these things.0
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