Husband doesn't like my body?

PhoenixJR

In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.

Wow. You sound extremely controlling.

There are always going to be other women out there, some of these women may work with your fiance, some may want to be friends with your fiance (assuming he is a person worth being friends with). There will always be women who are more beautiful, have better hair/skin/eyes, are thinner and more attractive than you. Unless you are Charlize Theron, somebody will be more beautiful than you.

My partner works around women that are absolutely beautiful. He is friends with some women who are so stunningly goregeous it almost hurts to look at them. On top of that a few of them are the most sweet, kind, and just plain freaking nicest people. One in particular is also a FANTASTIC cook. I am not bothered one bit by his friendships with them.

Why? Because he made a choice to be with me. Out of all the women he knows and is friends with, he knows or has met, he chose me to be with. Could it be my super curly hair and death-pale skin? Or my boring grey eyes? Could it be my personality and sense of humor? I have no idea. I'm not going to question it.

He knows the rules - one strike and you are out. If I ever find out he cheated on me, I will leave him in two seconds. I am not afraid of being alone, and that is the price he would have to pay if he violated my trust. This will never happen. I trust him entirely. He is an adult an I am not going to police his actions and mandate who he can and cannot be friends with.

Grow up. I bet you go through his phone too. That sort of behavior is wrong and extremely unnatractive.

BflSaberfan

In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.

this is ridiculous. I want a husband, not someone I need to control to satisfy my own insecurities.

Anyways. I suggest you go to his profile and check which of his status updates you are receiving. That way, he can look at the women he'll never have, and you wont know it. you probably have his comments and likes selected so they are staying in your newsfeed, for your own sanity woman change it today!

With that said, I am 31 I had 2 kids. I KNOW my body is not what my husband wants. But I'm not doing this for him, I'm doing it for me.

nine2481

First things first . . . You're beautiful and unique no matter how you look. Looks are important but not so important that nothing else matters ! You're feelings are natural and many people feel the same way you do about themselves so hold your chin high, smile wide and never give up. You CAN DO THIS - Hugs : Levi Lancaster

Lt_Starbuck

you have no idea what shape your body will have at it's best or even on the way to it. If you cover your nutrition/weights/cardio/rest/flexibility all evenly, you are well on your way.

As far as your husband not liking your body - here's a gift of a clue.

If you love your body, so will he. If you hate your body, especially out loud, you will convince him it's true or that he should too. men love a woman who is happy in her skin. Don't hate your body so much. It's your best friend and it carries you everywhere. love her. make her the best she can be, and dont stay so stuck in your head or it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

good luck!

TavistockToad

Losing my will to lose weight feeling depresses s and unmotivated...can't help but feel I've already lost the war before th battle. Don't know what to do...I think my husband is ino different female body types than mine.

you think? why dont you ask him, and then you will know for sure?

jenniferlcrumb

I just assume that my boyfriend likes other body types besides mine. He's a man. That's natural. Sometimes when we watch TV together we'll ask each other if we think a certain actor/actress is attractive and I am often surprised by his responses - because some of the women look nothing like me. But they aren't sitting next to him, and they never will be. Just like Mark Wahlberg will never be sitting next to me. :ohwell:

Unless your husband comes right out and says, "Honey, I am not attracted to your body type," then try to understand that you may be overreacting to your own insecurities about your body. Talk to him about it, if you want, but not in the "Am I the only woman you ever look at?" kind of discussion. Don't make him lie. All men look. And so do we.

Yes. Yes we do.

Just love the way you put that... it is so true and we do look, and so do they but that doesnt mean we dont love each other, it just means you have a healthy relationship and can deal with it. Our own self esteem can blur our judgement of what others think about us.. but unless they come out and tell you they dont like the way we look, then it is most likely all in our head!!

cutchro

As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.

Nicely said. :happy:

NatalieHassett

You should have an open and honest conversation with him. Communication is key.

concordancia

I don't project annoying o. To him I have a little more self esteem than that....it's not my fault that these pictures of females that he likes keep appearing in my news feed...I'm doing it for myself don't let that fool you but it doesn't help that I'm not getting the emotional support that I need...smh it's hard to explain its one of those things where you would have to walk in my shoes to understand... Just need to know it there's a light at the end of the tunnel

If you can't explain it, it is most likely because you are reading into/ projecting your own insecurities.

"Projecting" means that when he looks at you, you assume he is seeing your flaws; when he looks at pictures, you assume he prefers that. You take your own opinions of your body and assumes he has the same opinions.

ladybrown4

lets keep on track someone will notice that hot body

teamdj1

Become fit and healthy for YOU. Doing it for someone else is a recipe for failure.

Also, stop trying to read your husband's mind. Just because a man is strongly attracted to a certain body type doesn't mean he is automatically repulsed by all others. Give the guy a little credit, and give you both a break! You're imagining all sorts of scenarios that most likely exist no where but within the distorted funhouse mirror that is your own low self-esteem.

Just breathe. Focus on why you want to be healthy. Move forward, step by step. Let everything else fall into place.

^^^^^^^^This. It is how you feel. Don't let others stop you. Yes he is your husband but you have to make yourself happy first. Stay strong. We like what your doing. :happy:

Briko3

Even if you had the body type you 'think' he wants, do you think you would still have it in 20 years? People don't marry eachother because of some ideal body type. The ones that do don't stay married for long.

Jennisin1

That is just silly.... I guess if I designed my perfect man physically he would be about 6'4, 250lbs, dark brown hair, Blue eyes, slightly olive skin, muscular but still soft around the edges...............

but am currently dating a hard bodied muscular 5'9 , a 6'1 swimmers body , and an artistic/naturally athletic 6'0 .......and find them ALL attractive.

You can have a type but true attraction comes from personality/chemistry/energy.

tabinmaine

just break up !

3RachaelFaith3

Why would you think that first of all? And if he is married and loves you and is faithful to you, he loves EVERYTHING about you. Small or big, short or tall. Would like more information to help if I can >.<

I was thinking the same thing.... Why do you think that? Some info is missing here.

MidwestAngel

bcattoes

Well, you can't change your body type. So, hopefully your marriage is based on more than body type.

moustache_flavored_lube

In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.

:laugh: I'm sure he never looks at other girls. This why secrets are kept that lead to much bigger issues.

Smoni2008

For bettor or worse..Huh..Sounds like he has forgotten that promise. Transform your body for you Hun not your husband. Misery loves company. I am married and my husband and I work out and motivate each other. That's how it should be in my opinion. Ijs

nikki1704

listen you are the one hes with. I know the feeling my x did that and i didnt like it because these girls are skinny as hell with this big boobs and big butts, i only have big boobs because of my weight and my butt is not where it use to be. remember that this is for you and he can look but he cant touch! Talk to him maybe that would help you in the long run, voice your concerns with him maybe he can help clear things us! i hope that somewhat helps!

Pookylou

In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.

Your finance has NO female friends and doesn't look at other women, ever.........What does he do at work? Ignore them all?? Hells teeth! What a trust filled relationship you have.

metaphoria

If he compliments you, believe him.

Flaunt yourself for him every chance you get. Wear pretty things and flirt with him throughout the day. If you act like you believe you're attractive, you'll believe it eventually. I moped and complained about my body, but how attractive is that attitude? Now that I'm doing something to improve my body, I feel more confident, and that attitude seeps into the rest of my life. The flaws are still there, but they don't negate what my body is capable of, and they certainly don't set restrictions on my husband's love and attraction to me.

MissySchwab

great info and advice!

moustache_flavored_lube

bcattoes

As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.

Here's what I was going to say...my husband comes in the room all the time as I'm getting dressed. It's hilarious because I run and lock the door quick like a bunny on *****cat feet & secretly giggle like an *kitten* when he stops dead almost smacking his nose on the door when he realizes it's locked :laugh: omg! and then the meek knock on the door asking to come in :flowerforyou: I'm terribly mean to him cause if I were a little girl on the playground, he'd put gum in my hair every time he saw me his words, not mine :smooched:

The truth is, I don't let him see allllll the time, but I do let him catch me even though I feel like a baby beluga & likely look like one too :blushing: I can't tell you how funny this is to me:laugh: The beauty of not icing him out every time is he never knows when it's coming :bigsmile:

You hide your body from your husband? That sounds more sad than hilarious to me. If you can't feel beautiful and secure in front of your spouse, where could you?

Change_is_Good_

*swoon*

Sorry completely un-related

lbetancourt

"he majority of men you'll meet will have some lady friends within their social network. It doesn't mean he wants or fantasizes or thinks about these women. "

that reminds me of Harry Met Sally.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJz1f8hPRGc

OP: Take it from me, start to love your body cause the world already beat you to it. And, that means you have to love it for all its flaws & wonders.

lawandfitness

In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.

Wow. You sound extremely controlling.

There are always going to be other women out there, some of these women may work with your fiance, some may want to be friends with your fiance (assuming he is a person worth being friends with). There will always be women who are more beautiful, have better hair/skin/eyes, are thinner and more attractive than you. Unless you are Charlize Theron, somebody will be more beautiful than you.

My partner works around women that are absolutely beautiful. He is friends with some women who are so stunningly goregeous it almost hurts to look at them. On top of that a few of them are the most sweet, kind, and just plain freaking nicest people. One in particular is also a FANTASTIC cook. I am not bothered one bit by his friendships with them.

Why? Because he made a choice to be with me. Out of all the women he knows and is friends with, he knows or has met, he chose me to be with. Could it be my super curly hair and death-pale skin? Or my boring grey eyes? Could it be my personality and sense of humor? I have no idea. I'm not going to question it.

He knows the rules - one strike and you are out. If I ever find out he cheated on me, I will leave him in two seconds. I am not afraid of being alone, and that is the price he would have to pay if he violated my trust. This will never happen. I trust him entirely. He is an adult an I am not going to police his actions and mandate who he can and cannot be friends with.

Grow up. I bet you go through his phone too. That sort of behavior is wrong and extremely unnatractive.

Agree with this statement..... you can't trust your fiancé to be friends with/talk to other women so he is probably lying to you and doing it behind your back. (and I mean with co-workers at work, not having an affair) To me what you wrote is that you are too insecure for your partner to have friends that are the opposite sex.... this is sad and it speaks volumes about YOU! If you really think that he doesn’t look at other women, you are sadly mistaken.... if you say you don't notice attractive men while you are out, YOU ARE LYING! Maybe honesty with your partner will help you get rid of the insecurities you have.... Remember at the end of the day he put a ring on YOUR finger and wants to marry YOU, so why would his friendships with other women make you “pissed off and broken” …. Seriously, you need more confidence…

redhed91

As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.

Spot on. I couldn't have said it better myself.

learnerdriver

old post bump for self-esteem