IRL vs. Internet relationships

MyChocolateDiet

My MFP friends are 100x better then my IRL real life friends.


& that's no *kitten*

TRUE STORY!

Yep. They don't smell, burp, fart or have any weird ticks either. At least none that I have to see. That, and I don't have to wear gloves when they want to touch . . . icky

LOL gloves!

matt2442

Manti Te'o??? Is that you? I heard your 40 time was crap so you've resorted this site...sigh

beckieboomoo

My MFP friends are 100x better then my IRL real life friends.


& that's no *kitten*

i would say i agree but i don't really have either my so call best friends aren't best friends and my other friends i see once a blue moon only friends i really have are college friends but we only see each other in college and never meet up outside of college
I do have my Mr who happens to be my best mate 2!

MoJokes

My personal experience in real life is, i speak to anyone and people find me approachable and friendly.

Online, firstly i don't know what people are thinking and to be honest they have no right to judge me as they do not know me.

All I will conclude is that in reality i am treated a lot better than i am online.

jbutterflye

I think in real life I'm more reserved initially. I can be slow to warm up, in a way. I'm always very nice but I definitely have a down to earth raunchy side that most people don't get to know until later and then it's like Woa, I didn't know she had that in her. Online that comes out more easily. lol! Maybe that's why I like forums where I can express that,, like having a bit of alcohol and lowering the inhibitions. When someone gets past the surface and really gets to know me I'm very warm and giving/caring as a friend, and love to laugh... also very nonjudgmental.

MoJokes

Jbutterflye that sounds great, guess online some of the reservations you have in the flesh go out the window. Your a attractive lady physically and someone lucky will get to experience the exciting side of you.

Online its all words, you can't see how a person is as you would speaking to them face to face, seeing how they behave and react. those things may not seem big but these things make words on the internet feel like a waste of space.

I actually feel sorry that people have to enter into such online relationships, it could potentially be a total waste of time

Two words... I Am.

skinnyinnotime

Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.

and mean

jbutterflye

Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.

and mean

Not enough carbs perhaps?

MoreThanMommie

Let's ask Te'o

Giggle.

MoreThanMommie

Is it weird that I fell harder for someone I met on here, than I ever did with guys I was in real physical relationships with? Everybody looks at me like I'm a total idiot, a naive little girl because I'm stuck on someone 4,000 miles away Am I the only crazy one???

Nope. Not at all. :flowerforyou:

susheetush

It may be me personally (in fact, it probably is!) but I find it hard to find people I 'click' with in general, let alone being confined to those I might only meet in person. The internet gave me the chance to meet like-minded people I probably wouldn't have met because they didn't live close to me.

My dad always gives me grief because I ended up with a man who lived in another state. It's not like I didn't date guys in my state, I had a relatively active social life, but no one made quite the impression my guy did. And I was still dating when he and I met the once, then started talking online. And he still stood out head and shoulders over anyone else, so I'm rather grateful we were able to get to know each other online before we got together IRL.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

ItsCasey

Friendships are different from romantic relationships in this context. I am good friends with people from high school/college who I haven't seen in years. That's not hugely different than being friends with someone I met online who lives a thousand miles away. For me, a friend is a person who cares about me and whom I can count on to be there for me for the important stuff. That doesn't necessitate living 5 minutes away.

But romantic relationships ... I just don't see how you can have a serious, adult relationship with someone you've never met. As I said before, even long-distance relationships where people do see each other as often as they can will not last indefinitely. Unlike a friend, a romantic partner is someone who needs to be physically present in your life on a regular basis if the relationship is going to grow and succeed.

Kttyler87

I met my husband online 4 years ago on a dating site. Could NOT be happier! Been through some creeps to find him though :-p

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Jerrypeoples

not to get all deep on folks but heres the way i see it

online relationships (where no pics are exchanged at first) helps seperate love and lust


you are attracted to the persons personality before the look

Ferrous_Female_Dog

"Internet relationships" as in you've never met the person in real life? Yeah, that's not real. I can see meeting someone on a dating site or elsewhere online and existing in that period between the first e-mail and your actual face-to-face meeting, but that needs to be a very short period. I don't care if you live on the other side of the world. A meeting needs to occur within 30 days or you need to move on. There is way too much risk involved in becoming emotionally invested in a person you've never actually met.

That doesn't mean real life relationships are necessarily better. I know married couples who are more like roommates than anything else. But I think if you are smart, you won't consider yourself to be "in a relationship" with a person you only know via phone, email, Skype, etc.

And I agree on the long-distance thing. There is always an expiration date ... either one person moves to be with the other, thus ending the "long-distance" aspect, or you decide to go your separate ways, thus ending the whole relationship. You cannot have a long-distance relationship indefinitely because it's the kind of thing that doesn't get easier; it gets harder, every single time you say goodbye to each other, knowing it will be weeks or even months before you see each other again.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

seltzermint555

Like many of the other posts have said already, I couldn't have a romantic relationship that was online. I met my husband online and after 5 days of chatting for hours we NEEDED to meet and be together face to face and our relationship became real at that point to me.

As for friends though -- I do consider quite a few people "friends" even though I've only communicated with them online and in some cases, via mail (Secret Santa gift exchanges for example). There are a few women I met on a website over a decade ago who have all stayed in touch with e/o to various degrees. I have met several "irl" but primarily communicate with them online. I consider my friendship with them to fall somewhere on a continuum between say, my best friend I hang out with regularly irl, and a former high school classmate I share recipes with via Pinterest.

Personally, I can't imagine considering someone I'd never met "face to face" a CLOSE friend but I don't judge others who do.

I find some people to be eerily like I expect them to be when we meet face to face, others not so much.

darkrose20

^^this.

There is a *lot* you can tell about a person IRL that you can't get online (yes, even through Skype conversations). IDK...you just get "vibes" off someone IRL that you can't get online...also...HUGS...

yopeeps025

My MFP friends are 100x better then my IRL real life friends.


& that's no *kitten*

That sucks LOL. I cannot cosign that comment.

Keepcalmanddontblink

Once, I was chatting with a woman that I met through a website we both participated on, and we "clicked" online in friendship and began emailing regularly. Turned out we lived only about an hour away from each other, which was a huge coincidence as the site had people on it from around the world. After a while I suggested we meet in person but she backed away and was against it. I think after that something began to change, as there was a level that she couldn't get past and I was much more open. We eventually stopped communicating.

Its too easy to pretend to be something you are not online. Maybe she was afraid of what you would think of the real her? I met my husband online through a mutual friend, but we had to meet in person. I never lied about anything about myself. Brutally honest and up to date pictures of myself, and I was still afraid that when we met in person, he'd take one look at me and say, "Nope. Sorry.", and leave.

k8blujay2

Honestly, some of my best friends are folks I have met online and not "organically" (as in in-person). I feel more comfortable talking candidly with these people and when we do meet up in person, I feel like I can be myself.... my silly and opinionated self. While I love my friends that I have met in-person. I am way more reserved with them than I am with my friends I met online.

But yes, I view them all equally.

morehealthymatt

Each should be enjoyed on their own merits, not in comparison to each other.

Apples and oranges are fruit. I like them both. But they are different. I don't expect my orange to be an apple.

k8blujay2

"Internet relationships" as in you've never met the person in real life? Yeah, that's not real. I can see meeting someone on a dating site or elsewhere online and existing in that period between the first e-mail and your actual face-to-face meeting, but that needs to be a very short period. I don't care if you live on the other side of the world. A meeting needs to occur within 30 days or you need to move on. There is way too much risk involved in becoming emotionally invested in a person you've never actually met.

That doesn't mean real life relationships are necessarily better. I know married couples who are more like roommates than anything else. But I think if you are smart, you won't consider yourself to be "in a relationship" with a person you only know via phone, email, Skype, etc.

And I agree on the long-distance thing. There is always an expiration date ... either one person moves to be with the other, thus ending the "long-distance" aspect, or you decide to go your separate ways, thus ending the whole relationship. You cannot have a long-distance relationship indefinitely because it's the kind of thing that doesn't get easier; it gets harder, every single time you say goodbye to each other, knowing it will be weeks or even months before you see each other again.

I'm curious as to when that expiration date is... for me it was 3 years.... the time it took to finish college and then get married. LDR's only don't work when one or both participants do not want it to work.

leadslinger17

Yeah I don't view someone I chat with on the internet as a "real relationship". Sorry. You don't have any real interaction... a transcript on the computer has a number of problems. People tend to be different when the anonymity of the computer is involved. People don't fear embarrassment or rejection as much (more flirting, more fighting, etc) so they are more bold. You have the chance to revise and think about your responses instead of the immediacy of a real conversation. There is a lot to be taken into account with how someone says something, body language, etc that is missed and leads to a misunderstanding of people. This is even for a person that trying to be themselves, setting aside people trying to deceive you on purpose.

Because people over share online, it leads to a false sense of closeness. Add someone on Facebook, and if you share a lot yourself, now this person can know facts about you that would have taken months or years to uncover through conversation and hanging out. It's the Cliff Notes of friendship... you get highlights without having to work any or invest any thought in getting to know someone. You think you "know" the person, when you just know this persona they have put out on the internet.

I know I'm probably in the minority, and that is cool, I just don't see it as the same. I tend to limit my online friends to people I know IRL for this reason. I think you have to actually meet the person and spend time together for it to be a friendship.

Cathalain

I traveled over 10,000 miles to finally meet an I'net relationship prospect face-to-face... let's just say that I enjoyed my trip and seeing another country's culture, and leave it at that. :noway:

There's just no way to be sure of who or what you're getting when you engage in a romantic tangle online, and in my experience, the longer you spend on it, the worse you'll feel when it turns out to be ... not quite what you thought.

I have no problem with meeting romantic possibilities online. That's how I met my husband. The difference with my husband, however, was that he moved FAST. I was in Maryland, he was in Florida - he came to see me within 2 weeks of meeting me (I'net dating profile), and we knew then that it was worth the work/expense, etc. He moved to Maryland a month later. That's how quick it went. I always ask him why so fast, and he said, "I knew what I wanted and I was smart enough to go after it."

I don't see especially how these things work when two people live in different countries (as illustrated by example above). It's... sheesh, it's just not worth agonizing over the logistics, especially if they don't turn out to be the person you thought they were.

Cathalain

People tend to be different when the anonymity of the computer is involved. People don't fear embarrassment or rejection as much (more flirting, more fighting, etc) so they are more bold. You have the chance to revise and think about your responses instead of the immediacy of a real conversation. There is a lot to be taken into account with how someone says something, body language, etc that is missed and leads to a misunderstanding of people. This is even for a person that trying to be themselves, setting aside people trying to deceive you on purpose.

Because people over share online, it leads to a false sense of closeness.

This. A thousand times this. This is EXACTLY what happened in my situation.

majica8

No difference. In fact for me I prefer internet "relationships" (I'm only talking about friendships really.) My closest friend is someone I met online. We have met up a few times now but for almost 2 years we just chatted online.
I have issues with my confidence so I don't get out at all really, as a result I have no IRL friends (though I would now count the above friend as an IRL friend.)
I have acquaintances, people I know and spend time with but probably wouldn't consider friends, not close friends anyway. All of my friends are people I've met online, mostly through online gaming.
Chatting online is great for me as I have more time to think about responses. As someone who is always scared about saying or doing something stupid it's great.

NYactor1

Did somebody say cake vodka?