Neighbor smoking pot. What would you do?

Ramberta

What amuses me is imagining that in this situation, if pot was replaced with cigarettes, would it still be this big of a deal?

digitalbill

No offense to you or your wife, but if a day care center opened up next door to me, I'd probably need some chemical help to get through the day too :laugh:

In all seriousness though, if you can't get anywhere with talking to the neighbors, contacting the licensing agent might be a good next step (to protect compliance). Depending on the situation and where you are, the police might not make a big deal out of it...or they could be medically licensed to smoke it.

Well, thats why I can't work from the house anymore.
I have no idea how she does it.
But, in all fairness, she was running the daycare BEFORE the new neighbors moved in.
The Mom is a REALLY nice lady and, as a school teacher, she really is a hard worker.
It would have been an easy call if she was a total b***h or something but she isn't.
Yeah, I will give her a call on my way home from work and see if I can talk to her for a few minutes.
My wife has tried to be nice about all this.
I guess it is time for me to get involved.

perfectingpatti

If you can smell it, then obviously you are breathing it in.That is about as basic science as it gets.

yeah, so basic you got it wrong.

If they are smelling it, they're breathing it. Perhaps your point is that they cannot get high just because they smell it.

DeeJayTJ

i say call the cops anyway, if the mom doesn't want to deal with the punk kid of hers, then thats her fault if it affects her job.

perfectingpatti

What amuses me is imagining that in this situation, if pot was replaced with cigarettes, would it still be this big of a deal?

I wouldn't want my children in a day care where they were constantly breathing in second hand smoke, either. However, here pot is illegal and cigarettes are not, so calling the police wouldn't be a solution.

Ramberta

If you can smell it, then obviously you are breathing it in.That is about as basic science as it gets.

yeah, so basic you got it wrong.

If they are smelling it, they're breathing it. Perhaps your point is that they cannot get high just because they smell it.

If breathing in the smell of a substance is so harmful, why are kids allowed to hug their cigarette-smoking relatives? Surely the stench is in their hair, their clothing, their car, and their home, so everyone who visits or gets near them is breathing it in!! No, they can't get a nicotine buzz but it still must be bad because they can smell it! Oh, the horror!!

iAMsmiling

The point to me is not the legality of the whole thing, it's that the OP's wife might lose business because, right or wrong, the children's parents are concerned about drug use within a few feet of their children.

Talk to the mom.
Call the cops if necessary.

Their "victimless" crime is victimizing your wife's and her business.

__Di__

Stay out of it each to there own as long as it doesn't cross you're front door leave it but hey it's just advice !

That's just it, they are unable to stay out of it as the bloody stink from the pot could threaten his wife's business!!!

lynda3y9

i can understand the dilemna when running a daycare... definetely not something you want drifting into their play area.
maybe suggest they go for a walk somewhere instead? offer them some chocolate chip cookies if they take it away....that may motivate them.

they would be better smoking it in their house....less people would smell it.
is it considered 'unsafe' if it was cigarette smoke?

Pink_Pandas

What amuses me is imagining that in this situation, if pot was replaced with cigarettes, would it still be this big of a deal?

No, because cigarettes are legal. It's silly that pot is illegal, but thats how it is in most states unfortunately. If I were a mother though, as I stated before...I wouldn't want to take my child to a place with a stoned (or drunk) individual there. That is for adults. I also wouldn't want my child around a lot of cigarette smoke either. So depending on the situation, I would find my child a new daycare regardless.

I know that in Texas, at least in larger cities (i'm in the Dallas area) -- Smoking isn't allowed indoors or within a certain range of a bar/restaurant/or really anywhere else. So most parents would probably uproar about cigarette smoke being close to their children just as much. Over protective mothers anyway.

NancyWtby

Cant believe you snitches (RATS) i should say, cmonnnnn

Rosytakesoff

The point to me is not the legality of the whole thing, it's that the OP's wife might lose business because, right or wrong, the children's parents are concerned about drug use within a few feet of their children.

Talk to the mom.
Call the cops if necessary.

Their "victimless" crime is victimizing your wife's and her business.

^ Yep, exactly.

Akimajuktuq

OMG... really? I would: just mind my own business. Or, at most, POLITELY mention to them that you can smell it and would rather not. (Cuz the war on drugs has worked so well..... at least for the criminals who make huge profits precisely because of the "illegal" status.)

While I don't personally enjoy the substance (but I do think it is a good option for people with certain health problems), I think there's much more to worry about from "legal", prescribed meds.... Such as all the people using sleeping pills and driving on the roads every day. I'd be more scared that my child will be killed in a car crash by one of those people, then harmed by a minute waft of smoke coming from the neighbour's backyard.

MaryB2

Kids smoking pot 50 feet away from you is not creating an unsafe environment. If they were offering it to the children, breathing it in their faces, or talking about how "cool" pot is to them, that's a whole different story. But it's their yard-- they can do what they want, and you're the one that chose to run a business out of your home. That means dealing with the fact that your neighbors have every right to smoke things in the privacy of their own backyard.

However, if you're really that worried about the day care getting shut down, talk to the parents. Getting the police involved will scare off more parents than the pot will, I guarantee you on that one.

Considering its illegal they don't have every right to do that in their backyard. Whether or not it's unsafe doesn't really matter, if it bothers their clients they'll lose business.

I have nothing against smoking pot, I smoked for 15 years and loved it. And if my chemo side effects don't improve I might start again. What I have an issue with is them not caring that there's kids around. Even at their age I would have had enough respect to not smoke near kids. Even more so if someone asked me not to and told me they could lose their business.

3RachaelFaith3

normally, I'd say mind your own business, but this will directly affect your wife's business. Chances are the mom knows and doesn't care, so do what you have to do to take care of it. If I was a parent who had my child in your wife's care, I would want to be SURE that she was going to handle the problem. So, I suggest any means necessary, if the mom doesn't care or take care of the problem once you tell her, call the cops. Hope this helps. I am the best neighbor, but if it affect MY kids or MY living, then I can be a not so pleasant neighbor.

edited for typo

perfectingpatti

If breathing in the smell of a substance is so harmful, why are kids allowed to hug their cigarette-smoking relatives? Surely the stench is in their hair, their clothing, their car, and their home, so everyone who visits or gets near them is breathing it in!! No, they can't get a nicotine buzz but it still must be bad because they can smell it! Oh, the horror!!

Hmmm....hugging someone who smells like cigarettes is not the same as breathing in second hand smoke while that person is smoking.

Phyrballz

Only read OP. If it is threatening your livelihood, do what you gotta do.

VorJoshigan

However, if you're really that worried about the day care getting shut down, talk to the parents. Getting the police involved will scare off more parents than the pot will, I guarantee you on that one.

Maybe I've just read too many Radley Balko stories, but I strongly recommend against calling the police unless they're your buddies or something. Just try brainstorming some unintended consequences:

-Possible SWAT raid on the house next door. (don't laugh, it happens)
-If they make an arrest next door - that goes in the crime stats that affect where people want to purchase a home or send their kids to daycare
-Cops come, but the only effect is that you've pissed off the kid next door

I would try to have a conversation with the kids first, and if that doesn't give you satisfaction, try the parents.

Ramberta

What amuses me is imagining that in this situation, if pot was replaced with cigarettes, would it still be this big of a deal?

I wouldn't want my children in a day care where they were constantly breathing in second hand smoke, either. However, here pot is illegal and cigarettes are not, so calling the police wouldn't be a solution.

When kids are outdoors, they're breathing in all kinds of things-- car exhaust, trash odors, allergens, decomposition, etc etc. Two or three teenagers smoking pot 10-15 feet away from kids is not going to damage their little lungs one bit. Everyone seems to forget that less than twenty years ago, smoking was still allowed inside restaurants, bowling alleys, and other places, and gasp shock, parents still brought their kids to those places!

cbear017

I would try to hot box that *kitten*...errr, what was the question?

3RachaelFaith3

The point to me is not the legality of the whole thing, it's that the OP's wife might lose business because, right or wrong, the children's parents are concerned about drug use within a few feet of their children.

Talk to the mom.
Call the cops if necessary.

Their "victimless" crime is victimizing your wife's and her business.

^ Yep, exactly.

i second this!

__Di__

Think about your family first, the hell with him and his.

Well isn't that just a heartwarming mentality to have about your fellow man! *eyeroll*

Well the kids smoking next to the fence don't seem to give a damn do they, in fact, their heartwarming mentality leaves a lot to be desired.

Alex_is_Hawks

Explain it to the Mom...clarify that your wife is potentially losing business AND that you wanted to give her an opportunity to correct the situation before you involved the authorities because you didn't want to cause HER job any trouble.

if that gets you no where then contact the authorities but make it clear again, that you don't want to give the Mom trouble, you're just safeguarding your wife's business.

Sharkington

Talk to the mother and request she speak to her kid about, I dunno, maybe smoking their pot after certain hours, or elsewhere during the day? I know some people might find that a bit too nice on your part, but it since you are also concerned for the mother of this kid and her job, then it is worth a try. Unfortunately the kid sounds like a punk with an attitude, but maybe the mother will be a little more mature and able to make her son follow some rules in her home? The guy is 18, she can kick his butt out - the least he can do is be a little more considerate while living there. o.O

If that doesn't work, well you might not be able to protect this kid's mother AND your own family. In that case, your wife and her business/well being needs to come first.

3RachaelFaith3

also no one is arguing whether pot is a big deal or worse than pollution, cigarettes, etc. pot doesn't even bother me at all, BUT the parents do care and they are your wife's business.

gloryofthis

usually im very each to their own when it comes to pot but if its putting your wifes job on the line and she has explained that the kid should be decent enough to understand that she has taken steps to sort it out without involving the police and he should be decent enough to not put her job at risk, i would talk to the mother tell her that because it is affecting her work that next time she will have no choice but to call the police because if she doesnt she will be seen as allowing the kids to be in an environment that most parents wouldnt be ok with, the mother should then understand that her job would be on the line too and hopefully the police wont need to be called at all.
hope you get it sorted, i know how hard it is to deal with neighbours who refuse to acknowledge that they have a responsibility for their actions.

x

Pink_Pandas

Think about your family first, the hell with him and his.

Well isn't that just a heartwarming mentality to have about your fellow man! *eyeroll*

Yea wow, that's some great, very well thought out advice. Thats about as good as "EFF THEM CALL THE COPS" or "JUST MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS" because offering a proper response and possible solution is so far fetched.

perfectingpatti

When kids are outdoors, they're breathing in all kinds of things-- car exhaust, trash odors, allergens, decomposition, etc etc. Two or three teenagers smoking pot 10-15 feet away from kids is not going to damage their little lungs one bit. Everyone seems to forget that less than twenty years ago, smoking was still allowed inside restaurants, bowling alleys, and other places, and gasp shock, parents still brought their kids to those places!

I wouldn't put my children in a daycare that was next to car exhaust all day, a factory plant, a city dump either.

I'm 45, so I haven't forgotten that smoking was still allowed inside restaurants and bowling alleys less than 20 years ago but SHOCK and HORROR...I didn't take my toddlers to those places where they'd be around second hand smoke like that.

Again, saying I would call the police is based on the fact that smoking pot is illegal here and I don't want my next door neighbor's illegal activities affecting my home business.

__RANDY__

Breathing The pollution in most cities far out weighs the danger of smelling some pot from 50yards away. Plus they are 18 so its prolly not even the "good stuff"

RGv2

But it's their yard-- they can do what they want, That means dealing with the fact that your neighbors have every right to smoke things in the privacy of their own backyard.

This could not be more legally incorrect.