Wow just wow.

24

Replies

  • kend9998
    kend9998 Posts: 35 Member
    I don't understand the purpose of a post like this. What are you trying to accomplish? If you think people are rude on a particular thread, you can call them out on it there, report to the mods, ignore them, or counteract their rudeness with your kindness.

    All you're doing now (IMHO) is complaining and that's just adding noise to the site.


    my guess is that the purpose is to see if there are still a lot of decent people posting that agree about all the snarkiness, rudeness, etc. Just my guess. Seems to me that calling the rude people out on a particular thread, just causes a never ending arguing thread. I know i have stopped reading several, because after getting a few pages into it, it just turns into nothing but arguing. I agree about ignoring, and killing them with kindness though. that's usually a good idea. :-)
  • Erica_theRedhead
    Erica_theRedhead Posts: 724 Member
    Weight loss and good fitness are hard to achieve. Many people on here post about fad diets, unhealthy calorie goals, looking for quick fixes etc because what we are trying to achieve takes a lot a work and time. People who have made the journey will post things to the OP telling them when something is incorrect, unsafe, or non-sustainable but they don't want to hear it and say that they feel attacked. It's then that I'd usually go for the tough love. That's where you get the "mean people" coming out. People who want to help, but the others don't want to hear it. It's frustrating so I usually walk out at that point. Then it becomes a woe is me thread with no purpose that sometimes turns into a back and forth attacking of petty people. But I assure you, anyone worth listening to has backed out by that point.

    With that said, this is the internet and these people are strangers..who cares if their mean?
  • Longbowgilly
    Longbowgilly Posts: 262 Member
    It's a shame but there are a lot of keyboard heroes out there that are fine with being rude to people. I often wonder if the manners might return if they had to talk to the person face to face.

    I have seen plenty of threads that annoy me but I just don't bother posting in it.

    If you don't like the thread, post or recipe, leave it!
  • wildehare
    wildehare Posts: 10 Member
    I think it's best to ignore rude people's posts. They are just looking for attention. Or, do what my old boss use to do. Everyone in the connversation just reply to the rude post with "Have a nice day". They will get tired of that being the only response and move on to try and rile someone else.....
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I often wonder if the manners might return if they had to talk to the person face to face.

    This goes both ways. I often wonder how many people would start shouting in the middle of a crowded store about how rude people are.
  • linxus
    linxus Posts: 87
    I know this statement is going to probably heat up some of you- however, I had had a few rude comments from a lot of uppity fit people. Nothing wrong with being fit.. but I cannot STAND the arrogant ones that talk to you like you're inferior. Mind you, I do lose weight the healthy way, eating less, moving more. But, I make one little comment they don't agree with (something about my gym, sleeping patterns, etc.), YOU'RE WRONG I'M RIGHT egotistical rebuttals, etc.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    There are no rude people on this site... its the way people perceive them. I have been here since 2010 (different account) and I have never seen anything extremely rude on here. Sometimes you just need to pull up the big girl panties and deal with it. Its the internet and just like in real life "rude" people are everywhere.

    Telling people to put on big girl panties is actually taught in etiquette classes as a sure sign of politeness. :flowerforyou:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,421 Member
    I know this statement is going to probably heat up some of you- however, I had had a few rude comments from a lot of uppity fit people. Nothing wrong with being fit.. but I cannot STAND the arrogant ones that talk to you like you're inferior. Mind you, I do lose weight the healthy way, eating less, moving more. But, I make one little comment they don't agree with (something about my gym, sleeping patterns, etc.), YOU'RE WRONG I'M RIGHT egotistical rebuttals, etc.

    Oh. Yeah. Why listen to those FIT people about how to get fit.? Who would do that?


    .
  • sandradev1
    sandradev1 Posts: 786 Member
    This type of thread is considered Attacking/insulting other members. It does nothing to solve the perceived rudeness you are talking about. All it does is cause strife and arguments in the forums. To me, this is far worse than any disagreement in a thread.

    If you see actual rudeness (like name-calling) click the Report button. Otherwise, keep this stuff off the forums. This is super divisive.

    ^^^THIS ALL DAY LONG ^^^^

    This whole topic has been written to be rude about certain other members of the MFP community. wth is the difference????? in your opinion.

    I also have never seen anybody being rude directly to any other member. Only seen open and free comments of opinions on the subject not the poster. So someone doesn't agree with you and maybe communicates in a different way to that which you do........get over it and buy some big girl panties.

    :flowerforyou:
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I often wonder if the manners might return if they had to talk to the person face to face.

    This goes both ways. I often wonder how many people would start shouting in the middle of a crowded store about how rude people are.

    I've been so tempted. Though that's why I like to go to the grocery store late at night.
  • Frood42
    Frood42 Posts: 245 Member
    This type of thread is considered Attacking/insulting other members. It does nothing to solve the perceived rudeness you are talking about. All it does is cause strife and arguments in the forums. To me, this is far worse than any disagreement in a thread.

    If you see actual rudeness (like name-calling) click the Report button. Otherwise, keep this stuff off the forums. This is super divisive.
  • linxus
    linxus Posts: 87
    I know this statement is going to probably heat up some of you- however, I had had a few rude comments from a lot of uppity fit people. Nothing wrong with being fit.. but I cannot STAND the arrogant ones that talk to you like you're inferior. Mind you, I do lose weight the healthy way, eating less, moving more. But, I make one little comment they don't agree with (something about my gym, sleeping patterns, etc.), YOU'RE WRONG I'M RIGHT egotistical rebuttals, etc.

    Oh. Yeah. Why listen to those FIT people about how to get fit.? Who would do that?


    .

    The comments I received held no actual advice : ) Was purely attacks. I'm not just referring to people on here. I'm just saying I'm less likely to respect a fit person with a superiority complex.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I dunno, I always have a knee-jerk reaction to people posting recipes with titles of "Healthy Brownies" or whatnot
    and then proceed to post a recipe for normal brownies with something silly added (like 2 tbsp of spinach to a batch of brownies)
    or any recipe with Nutella. It's just a reflex.

    Speaking of brownies though...has anyone had brownies with bacon in them? ...Hmm...

    The OP in this case put "ice cream" in quotes. It was pretty clear you weren't going to come in to a real ice cream recipe. Not everyone likes these substitutions, but for me, making protein smoothies out of bananas and coming somewhat closer to the consistency of ice cream helps me not really miss ice cream that much. (When I really want some, I just go get some non-dairy ice cream, but I prefer not to do that too often.)
  • I feel that yes, it is important for people to be able to speak freely and be honest. It's certainly not a crime to disagree, and when it comes to topics based around the subject of weight loss, you can count on people having drastically different, conflicting, passionate opinions. I also feel, however, that you can be honest, speak your mind, give someone a tough love answer if it's required, and still show them respect. Snarkiness, trolling, extreme sarcasm...it's fine if you're posting in the general chit-chat and games section, but it's unnecessary for people who post a question seeking a genuine response from this community. We are here to help each other reach goals and become healthier people, not belittle one another.

    This! Very well written ... agree 100%.
  • linxus
    linxus Posts: 87
    I dunno, I always have a knee-jerk reaction to people posting recipes with titles of "Healthy Brownies" or whatnot
    and then proceed to post a recipe for normal brownies with something silly added (like 2 tbsp of spinach to a batch of brownies)
    or any recipe with Nutella. It's just a reflex.

    Speaking of brownies though...has anyone had brownies with bacon in them? ...Hmm...

    The OP in this case put "ice cream" in quotes. It was pretty clear you weren't going to come in to a real ice cream recipe. Not everyone likes these substitutions, but for me, making protein smoothies out of bananas and coming somewhat closer to the consistency of ice cream helps me not really miss ice cream that much. (When I really want some, I just go get some non-dairy ice cream, but I prefer not to do that too often.)

    I dunno, I always like substitutions. Such as cauliflower crust. I mean, they're not going to be as great as the real thing- but if I can eat it with a little less guilt and more wiggle room for my calories, that'd be awesome. For example, I saw a delicious recipe yesterday, it was brownies made out of protein powder for the chocolate with some pumpkin puree for the texture. Looked delicious. Obviously not something you want to have every week.. but awesome for maybe twice a month.
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    Left for a few months & it seems like a lot of RUDE people have joined since then. If you have nothing nice to say, why even reply? If a recipe I post doesn't appeal to you, then don't make it. You don't have to be freaking rude & shoot it down before even trying it. Do other people experience this on here too? Makes you no even wanna contribute ideas & makes you just wanna keep to yourself or not come on here at all.

    Someone's cranky.
  • Stormchasegrl
    Stormchasegrl Posts: 61 Member
    It's funny that people are posting about how anonymity makes people *kitten* holes. While this is true, I am tempted to make a dummy account to ask a completely scientifically logical questions on here challenging well-known "bad weight loss facts" for fear of me or my real inbox getting flamed by people who are trolls or just want to be superior. It can go both ways. In both cases, it's for protection. But anonymity isn't always a bad thing. That being said, I challenge people who say there are not nasty people on here. Just like in life, there will always be people for whom putting you down or acting superior is their only way to feel good about themselves. While they aren't worth your energy, it's still a fact of life we all must battle. I do, however, agree that people are far too easily upset by dissenting opinion as well. There is something to be said that we're an extremely excitable generation. Jumping in on the story posts: http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/28/showbiz/joan-rivers-holocaust-joke/index.html?hpt=hp_bn9 has dominated the news for the last few days. There was an excellent followup that I can't seem to find about how Americans are offended too easily and we need to lighten up.

    I guess ultimately there is a fine line between rude and truth. In a public forum, it's going to be crossed on the daily.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    There are rude people everywhere. There are nice people everywhere. There are people who you think are rude, but others really like. There are people you like that others do not like.

    I am confused by people having the expectation that everyone will be kind and gentle, and will intuitively know what their boundaries, sense of humour and sensitive issues are.

    Most of the time, people have good intentions. They are often trying to be funny rather than trying to hurt anyone. I always assume that peoples' comments are coming from a positive place until I am proven wrong.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    A rude post about rude people? Check.
  • linxus
    linxus Posts: 87
    Wow, so I just read the original thread OP posted with her recipe. That is disgusting how many ridiculing/rude posts were made in response to her. I understand it is the internet- but we should have evolved more than this, people. Absolutely disturbing. All she was doing was being friendly and sharing a recipe. This is what I mean about arrogance. Looks like some people never grow out of being a bully.
  • nokanjaijo
    nokanjaijo Posts: 466 Member
    I am confused by people having the expectation that everyone will be kind and gentle, and will intuitively know what their boundaries, sense of humour and sensitive issues are.

    I agree. I didn't realize this was about the "ice cream" thread which only seemed to contain some harmless teasing, to me.

    I mean, there are vegans and the lactose intolerant. This recipe is useful and should be shared. It is also nothing like ice cream so saying it is just invites jokes.

    I think, if you can see it as harmless, you should see it that way. I really try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I feel happier, generally, when I do that. I may be in some sort of Flowers for Algernon situation but it keeps my disposition pretty sunny.:smile:
  • linxus
    linxus Posts: 87
    I am confused by people having the expectation that everyone will be kind and gentle, and will intuitively know what their boundaries, sense of humour and sensitive issues are.

    I agree. I didn't realize this was about the "ice cream" thread which only seemed to contain some harmless teasing, to me.

    I mean, there are vegans and the lactose intolerant. This recipe is useful and should be shared. It is also nothing like ice cream so saying it is just invites jokes.

    I think, if you can see it as harmless, you should see it that way. I really try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I feel happier, generally, when I do that. I may be in some sort of Flowers for Algernon situation but it keeps my disposition pretty sunny.:smile:

    Most bullies consider the things they say harmless teasing or jokes.
  • Just use the ignore button and ignore them.
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
    It's the way the world works. Some people are cool, some suck.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,421 Member
    I am confused by people having the expectation that everyone will be kind and gentle, and will intuitively know what their boundaries, sense of humour and sensitive issues are.

    I agree. I didn't realize this was about the "ice cream" thread which only seemed to contain some harmless teasing, to me.

    I mean, there are vegans and the lactose intolerant. This recipe is useful and should be shared. It is also nothing like ice cream so saying it is just invites jokes.

    I think, if you can see it as harmless, you should see it that way. I really try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I feel happier, generally, when I do that. I may be in some sort of Flowers for Algernon situation but it keeps my disposition pretty sunny.:smile:

    Most bullies consider the things they say harmless teasing or jokes.

    Most victims see everything as bullying.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member

    Most bullies consider the things they say harmless teasing or jokes.

    I looked at that ice cream thread. There was nothing bullying about it. A few people saying "Hey, ice cream! I like real ice cream!" If that's your definition of bullying, you are doing a GRAVE disservice to those who have actually been bullied. I have been bullied, and let me tell you, a few people telling me they prefer real ice was NOT it.

    How absolutely dismissive of you to suggest THAT'S bullying. That is outrageous and completely minimizing to those of us who have lived through bullying.
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    tumblr_lrfudqa9GB1qdoqei.jpg
  • linxus
    linxus Posts: 87
    I am confused by people having the expectation that everyone will be kind and gentle, and will intuitively know what their boundaries, sense of humour and sensitive issues are.

    I agree. I didn't realize this was about the "ice cream" thread which only seemed to contain some harmless teasing, to me.

    I mean, there are vegans and the lactose intolerant. This recipe is useful and should be shared. It is also nothing like ice cream so saying it is just invites jokes.

    I think, if you can see it as harmless, you should see it that way. I really try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I feel happier, generally, when I do that. I may be in some sort of Flowers for Algernon situation but it keeps my disposition pretty sunny.:smile:

    Most bullies consider the things they say harmless teasing or jokes.

    Most victims see everything as bullying.

    Lol, furthest thing from a victim. I do not consider myself to be bullied, I'm mostly surrounded by rather nice people. However- I WAS bullied the majority of my childhood. And I still see it everyday happening to other people in extremities. It is sickening and sad that humanity is still at this level.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I am confused by people having the expectation that everyone will be kind and gentle, and will intuitively know what their boundaries, sense of humour and sensitive issues are.

    I agree. I didn't realize this was about the "ice cream" thread which only seemed to contain some harmless teasing, to me.

    I mean, there are vegans and the lactose intolerant. This recipe is useful and should be shared. It is also nothing like ice cream so saying it is just invites jokes.

    I think, if you can see it as harmless, you should see it that way. I really try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I feel happier, generally, when I do that. I may be in some sort of Flowers for Algernon situation but it keeps my disposition pretty sunny.:smile:

    Most bullies consider the things they say harmless teasing or jokes.

    I have to agree with nokanjaijo. I didn't see anyone attacking the OP. All I saw were people making jokes. I don't think anyone was trying to be hurtful. Also, when people post recipes that are higher calorie, there will be numerous negative responses as well. Taste is subjective.

    And "bullies"? Really? Let's not go overboard.
  • linxus
    linxus Posts: 87

    Most bullies consider the things they say harmless teasing or jokes.

    I looked at that ice cream thread. There was nothing bullying about it. A few people saying "Hey, ice cream! I like real ice cream!" If that's your definition of bullying, you are doing a GRAVE disservice to those who have actually been bullied. I have been bullied, and let me tell you, a few people telling me they prefer real ice was NOT it.

    How absolutely dismissive of you to suggest THAT'S bullying.

    I was bullied as well growing up. refer to my last post. I was bullied to an absolute point of desperation. I know what it is like. I still see it everyday. It SICKENS me.