Why Isn't it Enough?

johncarocci

I joined MFP a few weeks into my weight loss effort, so though my profile shows 4 pounds lost I've actually lost closer to 20. I'm trying not to get too cocky about it since I have many, many more pounds to go, but I'm at the point where people are noticing and I'm feeling a lot better.

My previous diet was atrocious. Fast food, processed food, comfort food... but not much real food. To lose weight I swore off fast food and focused on fruits and vegetables (since I don't cook, sometimes that means frozen, which while not perfect, are better than what I was eating before) along with grilled chicken, yogurt, etc. for protein. I also cut down on the diet soft drinks and started drinking a lot more water.

So basically I'm eating the same amount as before, just eating actual food instead of garbage. And I feel good. I'm sleeping better, I can walk better, the aches and pains are less intense. Which leads to my question:

Why isn't that enough?

Why isn't this feeling of wellness enough to keep my eye from wandering to sweets and snacks and other things that I shouldn't be eating? I feel like I'm doing well on the weight loss but for me it's still very much a "diet" that I have to consciously stick to. Why isn't feeling better enough to make me want to stay on the diet?

There might not be an answer. It might just be something I'll have to deal with. I'm wondering if anyone else has similar thoughts and if so, how they deal with them.

randimarie1125

I dont have a huge amount of weight to lose, but sweets get to me too. I have craved mcdonalds, this entire time. But its mind over matter. I dont think ill ever get over it, and occasionally ill have a sweet treat, but never excessive.

quirkytizzy

I rather think it's because we're human. We want tasty stuff. We want comfort foods. That's not necessarily bad, just human. If I think of it that way, it doesn't seem so taboo.

cmeiron

Maybe you're being TOO restrictive? I have a mega-massive sweet tooth. In the past, when I've tried to totally eliminate "junk food" from my diet it always ended in failure because frankly I missed the yummy stuff and I was obsessing over it simply BECAUSE I wasn't allowing myself to have it.

These days I'm taking a much more moderate approach, with a mind that "everything in moderation" is the way to go. I'm having fun finding satisfying lower-cal options for some of my favorite treasts, and I'm also stocking up on "single-serving" recipes for those days when I just gotta have something. I know others like to poke fun at them, but something like a single-serve mug cake satisfies my cravings WITHOUT leaving a bunch of tempting leftover cake lying around the house screaming to be eaten. It gives me a lot more control and mindfulness over what I'm eating. I also enjoy full-on calorie-bomb sweet treats probably once a week (a gooey cupcake or something like that), but do my best to work it into my calorie goals (or else just say f--- it and enjoy with no guilt!)

This mindset has shifted into other types of foods as well. I enjoy burgers, pizza, nachos...pretty much everything. I have no "No" list - everything in moderation is ok, and I try to plan my day around it if I'm planning to splurge on something calorie dense like fast food or movie popcorn etc. Despite all these "indulgences" I would say I still eat about 90-95% unprocessed, whole, nutritious, made-from-scratch, DELICIOUS foods, and I'm satisfied. I focus on great flavour and hearty portions when I cook so I don't feel deprived or like I'm on a "diet", which also seems to help reduce my cravings for other stuff

Rosytakesoff

If you plan a treat into your day, you might feel less deprived. The more deprived you feel, the more likely you are to fall off the wagon. How about a couple of pieces of dark chocolate a couple of times a week, or something like that? I find I also feel deprived if I dramatically cut my fat intake, so I make sure I get some healthy fats too.

Healthful eating is about moderation, not deprivation. It helps me to frame my thinking as "I don't eat X because I don't like the way I feel when I do" instead of "I can't eat X because I'm on a diet".

I didn't look to see if your diary is open or not, but if it isn't, open it and you will get some specific advice about eating.

SunshineT83

Well,
Think about how long you were eating your previous way. (months, maybe years?) and how long have you been eating this new way (maybe 3-4 weeks?) It takes the body a few weeks to figure out what you are trying to do when you shift your habits. But it takes your mind a few months to really and truly jump on board with the rest of the team. Sure we all get cravings here and there but the longer you go eating real food the more you will see that the "junk" doesn't taste nearly as good as you once remembered. And then the cravings will begin to shift and change and turn to other things. And believe me I am by no means an all or nothing kind of person. But if you can subscribe to 90/10 or even an 80/20 real food lifestyle, you will feel like it is all doable long term.
Here's to staying on track and letting the conscious efforts become subconscious habits. :drinker:

GetFit1129

Do you allow yourself at least one meal per week to eat whatever you want? If not, everyone needs to do that. Not only will take away feeling deprived some foods that you really love, but it jump starts your metabolism.

csuhar

Why isn't this feeling of wellness enough to keep my eye from wandering to sweets and snacks and other things that I shouldn't be eating?

Because we're still hard-wired to like certain things. Our bodies like it when calories are easily accessible. We evolved when such resources were limited. So there's an instinctive desire for them.

But there also may be personal psychological associations. That's what "comfort food" is all about, and that's why we all have our different kinds.

So there are levels of positive associations tied to these foods, whether the instinctive drive to find calories or a happy memory.

The key becomes learning to moderate these desires. At first, you'll want to be very careful, as it is easy to give in to the temptation not only to enjoy what you liked, but at the amounts you used to consume it in. Over time, with discipline and will power, you can eventually learn how to enjoy them without enjoying too much of them, especially when you enter into the "maintenance" phase.

For example: I LOVE Jelly Belly brand Jelly Beans. They are one of the foods that I remember fondly and are also one of the foods that I could tolerate back when I was sick and the doctors were pushing me to eat any calories I could manage to keep down. But now I know I need to watch them more than I did back in High School. That doesn't mean that I DON'T eat them. But I buy them on rarer occasions. And when I do buy them, I portion them out into single servings. I used to be able to eat one of the larger bags in the course of a single movie. I could easily polish off a whole bag of Starburst brand jelly beans in an evening. Now, I'm usually able to spread out one of the smaller "hang up" bags over a weekend.

glovepuppet

learn to cook!
seriously, if i ate plain old grilled chicken & frozen veg then i'd feel like i was on prison rations. i'd be depressed. i'd want chocolate cake! if you learn to cook then you can use simple ingredients to make exciting meals. if your meals are exciting then junk food seems boring. it doesn't need to be difficult, elaborate or time consuming. herbs, spices, fresh foods and seasonings. a splash of lemin juice or olive oil.
your diet sounds suicide inducingly dull!

cwolfman13

You may very well be overly restricting yourself. There's nothing wrong with a bit of comfort food...actually, a lot of the comfort food I eat (big stews, casseroles, etc) are very nutritious...but they're also high calorie, so I really have to watch my servings. My general rule of thumb is 80-90% good, nutrient dense foods...but allow myself some junk calories from time to time as well. This helps me stay on track and keeps me from riding off the rails completely.

cwolfman13

learn to cook!
seriously, if i ate plain old grilled chicken & frozen veg then i'd feel like i was on prison rations. i'd be depressed. i'd want chocolate cake! if you learn to cook then you can use simple ingredients to make exciting meals. if your meals are exciting then junk food seems boring. it doesn't need to be difficult, elaborate or time consuming. herbs, spices, fresh foods and seasonings. a splash of lemin juice or olive oil.
your diet sounds suicide inducingly dull!

Also this^^^learning to cook will open up a whole new world of nutrition and, it's true...junk food just isn't as appealing when you can rock something nutritious in the kitchen.

NutellaAddict

Eat that one treat (without guilt) and burn it off.....Unless you are training for a competition then don't eat it lol.

ldrosophila

Personally it helps to eat like a "normal person" and the "junk" (still not sure what it is) then I dont feel like I'm on a diet and it's sustainable I just have to reduce my portion sizes. I have added more veggies and water, but I love my cheese and hot dogs.

AReasor

You can eat whatever you want, just work on moderation and portion control. Know yourself. For example: I can eat reasonably most of the time, but if ice cream is in the house I will eat it until its gone. Find your balance.

retiree2006

I have a feeling most of us have those cravings because they've become such a habit and we've developed a real taste for those foods. But if you are too strict you might be setting yourself up for some problems. Continue to focus on a variety of healthy options but allow some of those other foods in periodically so you don't feel deprived. Just make sure you balance it out with the majority of your meals and snacks being the better choices. I totally enjoyed half a Rueben sandwich yesterday and then had baked chicken and veggies for my evening meal to keep things balanced.

twistedlefty

Do you allow yourself at least one meal per week to eat whatever you want? If not, everyone needs to do that. Not only will take away feeling deprived some foods that you really love, but it jump starts your metabolism.

^^^^^
THIS

jak2315

I love sweets and I love to bake. I allow myself a little something every now and then. You shouldn't deprive yourself of the foods you really love. Everything in moderation.

Machafin

Every now and then, perhaps once a week, it Is ok to have a "cheat" meal. This will throw off your cravings, I still struggle with them and I have been eating "clean" for 5 months now, but it does get better.

Try this saying in your head next time, it really helped me a lot.
I went from "I want it but I can't have it"
to "I can have it but I don't want it."

Turning that into a positive statement really helped me out and it sounds like you are well on your way to in the right direction, keep up the good work!

rduhlir

As everyone has said, allow yourself to relax every once in a while.

I see posts like yours all the time on here, and have to wonder what they are doing to feel that way. You have totally made me understand what those posts are refering to, because I don't get those cravings and I think it is because I never truly "restricted" myself from anything. I just made sure to moderate, something I didn't do in the past.

So now, when a co-worker brings in donuts...I have -ONE-. It is girl scout cookie season, coworkers bought like 4 boxes for the office. I had 1/2 serving. I eat chocolates, eat cake, I don't even pass up dipping butter when I eat fresh crab or lobster (which is an extremely rare occasion, which is why I don't pass up the dipping butter).

lynn1982

Because there's something in our brains that tell us that pizza and burgers and cake and sugar all make us feel good. And they do. Until that euphoria of the first 20 minutes wears off and our stomachs realize what we're doing! And that's my very unscientific response!

In all seriousness though, I completely understand where you're coming from. I've been doing this on and off for almost 2 years (although I think my profile says I joined 3 years ago...that's just when I first filled out a profile). I've had A LOT of slip ups (including making it to my goal weight and then promptly gaining 20 pounds after a stressful life event), mostly because I've had to overcome emotional eating. Even though I still crave that cupcake or burger, I often have to remind myself how awful I will feel if I eat it. I know others have suggested working the junk into your daily or weekly calorie allowance. That does not work for me, because as you said, it's about how you feel. What does work for me is finding an alternative recipe. Lately my favorite has been a homemade banana pudding using bananas, chia seeds, dates, and coconut milk. It's DELICIOUS (tastes like Magnolia Bakery's banana pudding) and curbs my cravings for ice cream, cupcakes, and even chocolate.

I know others have said that you're being too restrictive or that you need to give yourself a treat or fit that burger or pizza into your calorie allowance. If that works for you, then that is awesome. However, for me, the key to sticking to this has been paying attention to how I feel after I eat something. If I eat a greasy burger or slice of pizza or bowl of macaroni and cheese, then I will feel awful and bloated and tired and cranky. If I replace the ingredients with homemade nutritiously made food, I can still have my burger or pizza or macaroni and cheese, and the calories might be the same (or not), but I FEEL better. I plan on doing this for life, and that includes never ever returning to McDonalds or KFC or Pizza Hut.

K_Serz

You joined in 2013?

Umm hello. What you described here is a significant lifestyle change. How long were you eating bad previously? So you think living that lifestyle and those desires that go along with that will just disappear after a few weeks of changing your diet?

Helllll Noooooooo. This is why so many people rebound and rebound hard. Its going to take awhile before getting used to it.

After you reach your goal you can probably squeeze in many of the foods you have loved eating but incorporating them into what is working for you to keep healthy. Its patience. Slow and steady definitely wins the race here.

FUELERDUDE

I've been trying to fight the temptations of fast food as well, and have given in. I haven't always made the right choices so far, but I am getting better. I don't trust myself enough to order a pizza right now though. When going to a fast food place, I can get a salad with no dressing and grilled chicken. I know it's not the best, but still not the worst and is still filling. I order smaller portions than what I used to. I can now order things other than a meal, those fries and drinks really add up. The other stuff still isn't great, but still better than what I had been doing. I am making improvements and I do not think it will be an overnight process. If I take a step back, I try to learn something from it to help me move forward.

I will second learning to cook. I find new foods invigorating. Even if I don't like them, I've learned something new about what I don't like. One of the best tips I can give someone who is trying to learn how to cook is the high stove top setting is not your friend unless you are trying to put a quick sear/crust on something or boiling water. I had burnt many meals before figuring that one out. www.eatingwell.com as well as this site has many healthy recipes to choose from.

MinnieInMaine

I rather think it's because we're human. We want tasty stuff. We want comfort foods. That's not necessarily bad, just human. If I think of it that way, it doesn't seem so taboo.

I love this response. Part of nearly every culture is the sharing and enjoying of foods. It's who we are!

Also, related...I agree with the advice that you should learn to cook and open your horizons with healthy food. If you're enjoying what you're eating instead of just fueling your body, you'll be less likely to crave those other foods. Create soups, sauces, use herbs and spices and cook things in different ways...for instance, grilling and roasting are wonderful for veggies. It's all well and good to want to eat clean and healthy but start searching for recipes that sound good and have a kitchen adventure at least a couple times a week.

Buzymomof_3

Try this saying in your head next time, it really helped me a lot.
I went from "I want it but I can't have it"
to "I can have it but I don't want it."

Turning that into a positive statement really helped me out and it sounds like you are well on your way to in the right direction, keep up the good work!

This is what I do too - "I can have it but I don't want it right now". Leaves it open for later, just not right this minute. If you can put it in the plan. Say you want a donut, put it on your plan for three days from now. ON Thursday at 10:00 am I will eat a donut if I still want it. Hopefully by the time Thursday comes around, you're not craving one as much. So you stop impulse eating which is my downfall. And by all means, if you still want it, eat it. But you've planned for it (good healthy meals around it, early enough in the day to go work it off). Also - stop as soon as you can, even if it means throwing half away. Remember, it's not a waste of money if it you got what you needed out of it. Good Luck!

mlcastle

I hear what you're saying. When the bad stuff that made you unhealthy is there, readily available, and you know how good it tastes, it's very difficult not to want to eat it all the time (whatever "it" is), even if you don't want to want it, sometimes you still do. I'm not sure "cheats' or treats are even the answer because those can leave you wanting more.

It takes conscious effort every day to not overload one's diet with crap especially when we're inundated with messages about eating/drinking this or that from that fast food chain or that sugary drink maker. When I have those feelings of wanting sweets or sugary snacks, I take a moment to think about the hard work I put in, how good I feel, and how much more I like what I see in the mirror and then decide if that treat is worth it (sometimes it is) and if I can fit it in to today's goal or maybe I make it fit tomorrow when I can plan how much I'm willing to have and what I'll have to do to work it off and then move on.

mlcastle

Because there's something in our brains that tell us that pizza and burgers and cake and sugar all make us feel good. And they do. Until that euphoria of the first 20 minutes wears off and our stomachs realize what we're doing! And that's my very unscientific response!

In all seriousness though, I completely understand where you're coming from. I've been doing this on and off for almost 2 years (although I think my profile says I joined 3 years ago...that's just when I first filled out a profile). I've had A LOT of slip ups (including making it to my goal weight and then promptly gaining 20 pounds after a stressful life event), mostly because I've had to overcome emotional eating. Even though I still crave that cupcake or burger, I often have to remind myself how awful I will feel if I eat it. I know others have suggested working the junk into your daily or weekly calorie allowance. That does not work for me, because as you said, it's about how you feel. What does work for me is finding an alternative recipe. Lately my favorite has been a homemade banana pudding using bananas, chia seeds, dates, and coconut milk. It's DELICIOUS (tastes like Magnolia Bakery's banana pudding) and curbs my cravings for ice cream, cupcakes, and even chocolate.

I know others have said that you're being too restrictive or that you need to give yourself a treat or fit that burger or pizza into your calorie allowance. If that works for you, then that is awesome. However, for me, the key to sticking to this has been paying attention to how I feel after I eat something. If I eat a greasy burger or slice of pizza or bowl of macaroni and cheese, then I will feel awful and bloated and tired and cranky. If I replace the ingredients with homemade nutritiously made food, I can still have my burger or pizza or macaroni and cheese, and the calories might be the same (or not), but I FEEL better. I plan on doing this for life, and that includes never ever returning to McDonalds or KFC or Pizza Hut.

I'll second that

shellma00

I agree with some of the other posters, you should not restrict yourself from sweets. There are low calorie options for sweets. If you deprive yourself you will fall off the wagon. I dont know exactly what you are craving, but when I crave chocolate or ice cream my go-to snack is either Dairy Queen Fudge Bars (50 cals, no sugar added) OR they sell boxes of Skinny Cow or Weight Watchers Ice Cream treats at the grocery store and they are normally around 100 calories. The same with cakes and cookies, look for the Weight Watchers, Skinny Cow, Fiber One.. there are many many options.

If I know I am going to have cake or ice cream at a birthday party, I just try to fit it into my day OR exercise to get the extra calories I need.

Hope these suggestions help you with your sweet tooth!

JohnMessmer

Let me start with a reference to a discussion I had not to long ago with my sister. My sister asked me how I was able to "simply quit smoking after 26 years". I told her that it really was not that difficult for me, I simply decided that it was what I was going to do and then eliminated it as an option. Of course, I got the deer in the headlights look from her, so I asked her "why do you not snort cocaine or smoke marijuana?". My sister said that she did not do either because they were illegal and she was not going to deliberately do anything that there was even the remote chance of it causing her to go to jail over. So then I said "so why are willing to do something that there is a very good chance of it killing you, or making you incredibly ill before killing you and putting you in your grave? I mean really, you are more afraid of going to jail then you are of dying?" Although she did quit for a week she recently continued to smoke, but my point was/is very simple. If you know that the choice you make will either contribute to your death or to your longer life; which choice will you make? I quit smoking cold turkey after a pack a day habit for over 26 years, because, I finally decided, it was no longer an option. I have lost 94 pounds in the past six months because, I finally decided, there was no other option. We each control what we consume, how much we move, your body is not as unique as a snowflake, there is no secret, there is no pill, burn more calories then you consume and lose the weight you need to.

verdancyhime

I rather think it's because we're human. We want tasty stuff. We want comfort foods. That's not necessarily bad, just human. If I think of it that way, it doesn't seem so taboo.

This. Plus keep in mind humans are somewhat designed to put our brains on autopilot and seek familiar things, especially when we are stressed.

If you're going to make a permanent change, you have to leave room for junk food sometimes. The reason I didn't succeed at times when I tried to do this in the past was because I didn't give myself permission to eat "bad" foods, and then when I did, I "failed' and gave up.

One meal of comfort or junk food when you're stressed isn't going to ruin everything else.

Lt_Starbuck

NO.

dont listen to any of the OH ITS OK YOURE JUST HUMAN YOURE GONNA MAKE MISTAKES AND MESS UP CONSTANTLY...

The truth is... you havent reached the moment where you say, Ok, Im actually ready to seriously change my life. Until then, youre just practicing and getting your feet wet.

When you're ready to ROAR and stand up and do what you GOTTA do and be BRAVE and STRONG!!!!! Then you will find yourself standing up straight and believing in yourself.

glovepuppet

If you're going to make a permanent change, you have to leave room for junk food sometimes.

this statement is utter rot.
there is no ''have to''. everyone is different. just because you need junk food ttreats in order to stay on the wagon, doesn't mean that it's the only way or the best way.