How depressing is the fact

farmers_daughter

That some people try their ENTIRE LIVES to lose weight, and never succeed at it.

Some people worry and count calories and carbs and other macro nutrients their entire lives and never win the battle.

I'm not meaning to bring others down here but I'm at that point where it's not going to happen, I'm done saying "I can't have that" or "I dont' bake because I can't eat it" etc. etc.

I'm not going to become a slob, I still have to find a way to fit in my pants. But I'm just so frustrated with the fact that this is a process that I can't accomplish, I've heard way too many people say it's simple and give 12 different answers why.... or that I don't want it enough. I've pretty much decided that if it consumes over half my thoughts and my day whether it be mental or physical .... I'm obviously doing something wrong.

I'm tired of doing it the "right way" by counting and weighing and saying "No", I'm not going to spend my entire life trying....

And yes part of this frustration is from seeing people who happen to have "good" insurance or money...who buy the fix (aka surgeries) Great for them. But I'm still me, and I'll keep trying and I'll keep doing the same thing over and over because I'm going to live my life the way people did 30-40 years ago.

Edit: I can't imagine I'm the only one who feels this way. Rant over.

LoraF83

And yet, I checked several days in your diary and couldn't find any days where you actually logged your food.

Don't complain about the results you aren't getting from the work you didn't do. If you count your calories, maintain a reasonable calorie deficit and apply some patience, you can lose weight.

Edit to say that I'm not trying to be mean. It's just that you can't sentence yourself to a life of fat if you're not really doing the program that is working for so many other people.

Adele

You need to WANT it. I tried and tried, and until I really wanted it, that is when it all clicked. I still struggle, but that is part of the journey. Sorry you are feeling this way

Johnsonkingsharon

I feel your frustration, I have been there my whole life too - HOWEVER - this time is different. I am actually excited about loosing weight this time for two reasons: one: MFP - works great just by keeping track of what I am eating makes it easy and Two: I am enjoying trying new food experiences - last night I barbqued chicken burgers - never had them before and they were great. Maybe try focussing on what you get to eat rather than what you can't eat. Keep your chin up - maybe tomorrow you will feel different

BflSaberfan

That some people try their ENTIRE LIVES to lose weight, and never succeed at it.

Some people worry and count calories and carbs and other macro nutrients their entire lives and never win the battle.

I'm not meaning to bring others down here but I'm at that point where it's not going to happen, I'm done saying "I can't have that" or "I dont' bake because I can't eat it" etc. etc.

I'm not going to become a slob, I still have to find a way to fit in my pants. But I'm just so frustrated with the fact that this is a process that I can't accomplish, I've heard way too many people say it's simple and give 12 different answers why.... or that I don't want it enough. I've pretty much decided that if it consumes over half my thoughts and my day whether it be mental or physical .... I'm obviously doing something wrong.

I'm tired of doing it the "right way" by counting and weighing and saying "No", I'm not going to spend my entire life trying....

And yes part of this frustration is from seeing people who happen to have "good" insurance or money...who buy the fix (aka surgeries) Great for them. But I'm still me, and I'll keep trying and I'll keep doing the same thing over and over because I'm going to live my life the way people did 30-40 years ago.

Edit: I can't imagine I'm the only one who feels this way. Rant over.

I find it hard to believe. When I am feeling this way I work my way over to the success stories thread. People DO lose weight all the time.

robot_potato

Stop saying no. Eat what you like, just less of it. Log your food. And quit throwing a pity party. Don't complain about the results if you don't put the effort in. It can be done, but you have to try. It's not easy, but it is worth it.

Koldnomore

And yet, I checked several days in your diary and couldn't find any days where you actually logged your food.

Don't complain about the results you aren't getting from the work you didn't do. If you count your calories, maintain a reasonable calorie deficit and apply some patience, you can lose weight.

I was just about to say the same thing. It looks like you've been around for a while so why did you get so frustrated? Are you trying to do everything at once? Threw out all the 'junk food' went on a 'healthy' shopping kick, trying to force yourself to eat 'rabbit food' or work out endlessly?

Losing weight isn't hard but people like to make it harder than it needs to be. Just eat a little less that what you are eating to maintain your weight - 1500 calories is NOT enough for you just fyi. If you haven't looked at the roadmap or figured out your TDEE, If you don't have a food scale and aren't willing to log and weigh I can see why you're having problems. You don't need to work out, or go to the gym, or eat rabbit food, or get surgery...You DO need to figure out your TDEE, and weigh/log your food.

Good luck.

usernameMAMA

For me, I know that I will have to watch and think about my food intake for the rest of my life. I am not a naturally thin person so this is the way it has to be. Even at 135 pounds I still had to watch what I ate because I know that it is so easy for me to fall into a bad pattern of eating junk. Like any addiction it is one day at a time and it'll always be there.

farmers_daughter

I quit using my diary because that was one my "blow ups" I was tired of saying no...I don't have enough calories for the day left, I can't have this I can have that.
So I quit "focusing" so hard that I would go over.... and I've gained a little more mental space and have fewer stress out fests becuase of it.

TDEE - 1500 is what the nutritionist picked out for me. I think when I started MFP it set me at 1700 something calories. I probably bounce from 1700 to 2500 a day. I know this is not smart becuase I'm ungodly sedentary.

likitisplit

It is a lot harder for some people than it is for others. A whole lot harder. And platitudes don't help one bit.

It sounds like you gained some information and some skills but haven't found a system that really works for the person that you are - but it sounds like you're on the road to that. The surgery sucks: one of my friends can't keep enough calcium in her bones because of it. What else besides MFP have you tried?

I wonder - I learn a lot from biographies. I know that Oprah has struggled with her weight and has probably written about it... There's a runner in the Happy Feet MFP group who had an article about her weight loss (80 some pounds)... I know there's a lot of people who have tried a lot of psychotic things to lose weight, but can you find some role models who can give you inspiration and/or ideas you haven't tried yet?

Querian

I quit using my diary because that was one my "blow ups" I was tired of saying no...I don't have enough calories for the day left, I can't have this I can have that.
So I quit "focusing" so hard that I would go over.... and I've gained a little more mental space and have fewer stress out fests becuase of it.

TDEE - 1500 is what the nutritionist picked out for me. I think when I started MFP it set me at 1700 something calories. I probably bounce from 1700 to 2500 a day. I know this is not smart becuase I'm ungodly sedentary.

Maybe MFP isn't the right tool for you but it kind of sounds like you are unwilling to make changes.

You say you are sedentary, why not up your exercise so you can eat more instead of feeling like you can't eat what you want?

prattiger65

I'll help you! Send me a message and I will help you get it going. You can do it, I promise!!

Doctorpurple

I know it can be hard to forever say "pass" or "no" on unhealthy foods. May I ask why you're not exercising? If you are having a hard time eating below a certain amount of calories, you should be expending more energy by exercising. Actually you should be exercising nonetheless. Exercise is needed no matter what weight you are in. Also, you have to make the end result worth it for you. Is becoming healthy more important than eating the foods that you like? Everyone gets tired and weight loss is hard. Weight maintenance is hard too. But if the end result is worth it for you, you have to keep trying. And really try. Try really hard. Not just semi-try. You have to be willing to go through a very tough times. Its not easy for anyone.

krissy_krossy

You say that you're sedentary. Have you given any thought to any exercise? It would give you more room for food. I still eat unhealthy food that I enjoy, just less of it.

What you've been trying may not work for you. My brother in law has been very overweight for a while (from what my husband has told me) and was considering WLS. From what I've heard, he had a very hard time losing weight (understandable considering his diabetes and the medications he's on. I was on a lot the same meds and couldn't shed a pound) but he's found something that worked for him, after trying for ages, and my FIL told us that he's lost 85 pounds so far now. Without surgery. You have to keep trying until you find something that works for you. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but if you're not willing to keep trying you really DON'T want it bad enough.

weird_me2

Maybe you don't need a nutritionist - maybe a therapist would suit your needs better. IMHO, for a person who has been seriously overweight or had a weight problem for much of their life, successful weightloss and maintenance can often come down to mental more than physical. Granted, some people get overweight/obese simply because they eat too much of the stuff that is too high in calories and all it takes to lose the weight and maintain is simply changing eating habits. In my experience, this isn't true for many people. If you have problems with emotional eating (i.e. eating for ANY reason other than hunger) or binge eating or any other mental blocks with eating, then you may find that you are more successful if you work on the mental before focusing too much on the physical. If you're interested, I recommend reading "The Beck Diet Solution". It's a cognitive behavioral therapy approach to weight loss. It gives you exercises and tools to help you work through mental blocks and sabotaging thoughts that may be preventing you from being successful and happy along the way.

I personally don't believe you have to say no to everything or even most things that you want. I personally don't believe that I have to eat the same set number of calories day in and day out; if I'm hungrier one day, I eat more, even if I go over and if I'm less hungry another, I eat less, even if I'm 500 calories below goal. As long as it all averages out at the end of the week, I'm happy.

I have found success over the last year by implementing just a couple of goals and also by doing the exercise in the Beck book. Some of them seemed stupid and some weren't all that useful for me, but many were helpful and I'm finally changing years of habits. My goal for last year was simply to weigh myself every single day no matter what and record that weight. It took me 1 1/2 months before I saw the scale fluctuating in the wrong direction,but I finally accepted that the scale was just a tool and it didn't define me. I belive that this habit helped me last Sept - Dec when I stopped really tracking - I managed to maintain during a time I normally would have gained. My goal for this year was to write down every single calorie I consume, no matter what. I've recorded every day since January 1st. I've had a couple of 5000 calorie days, but since 1/1 I've lost about 15 pounds. Simply being aware of what I'm eating and not ignoring those bad moments has really helped me, too.

farmers_daughter

The sedentary part comes from sitting in front of a computer with about 3 times a day I can get up and move around. Otherwise I'm glued to my computer and phone.
When I get home I'm active, but not exercise active, it's laundry, supper, dishes, yard work or now snow work, kids baths, maybe me too .
But there are times that I get almost all the way home and I'm just exhausted, by the time I fix the kids something for supper and change the clothes out....I am wiped, mentally and physically.

delaney056

The first and most important thing you need to do is log your food. Log EVERYTHING you eat. Weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise. You can't out exercise a terrible diet.

karenboy29687

Whoop, there it is!

jme6976

The sedentary part comes from sitting in front of a computer with about 3 times a day I can get up and move around. Otherwise I'm glued to my computer and phone.
When I get home I'm active, but not exercise active, it's laundry, supper, dishes, yard work or now snow work, kids baths, maybe me too .
But there are times that I get almost all the way home and I'm just exhausted, by the time I fix the kids something for supper and change the clothes out....I am wiped, mentally and physically.

Make time for yourself. Realize that you are worth it and make it happen. I too am frequently worn slick by the time the end of the work day comes. So get up 30 mins earlier and spend 15-20 mins with some form of exercise. It a start and it will help you ease into it. Making it a priority and not a choice. You are worth it! Log your food!!! It keeps you honest. Don't fret about what you don't have room for. Find substitutes, I eat skinny cow ice cream or frozen yogurt many times a week but I exercise to make room for them. If you really want it, have it just less. Don't give up!

karenboy29687

And yet, I checked several days in your diary and couldn't find any days where you actually logged your food.

Don't complain about the results you aren't getting from the work you didn't do. If you count your calories, maintain a reasonable calorie deficit and apply some patience, you can lose weight.

Edit to say that I'm not trying to be mean. It's just that you can't sentence yourself to a life of fat if you're not really doing the program that is working for so many other people.

This right here.

CrimeanGurl

Ok, so I know that the entire point of MFP is counting calories, but maybe this is not the right approach for you. Personally, I've found that counting calories just makes me obsessed with food and always ends up with me going on a major binge. Have you tried eating 100% clean? This has worked for me once, and seems to be working right now as well. Of course, I watch my portions but my main focus is on consuming only healthy foods. Believe it or not, I once lost 15lbs without counting a single calorie or exercising by eating only fruit, vegetables, lean meat, fat-free dairy + ridiculous amounts of cheese and honey. Now consider the fact that back then I was only 130 lbs (my height is 5'8'') to begin with. Of course, different things work for different people, but if you're not succeeding with other methods, you might just as well give this a try.

LorinaLynn

I felt exactly like the OP at one time in my life. Weight loss was too hard, too slow, left me feeling too lousy. I thought, "This f'n SUCKS! This is no way to live! I'd rather be overweight than live like this."

Because I was doing it wrong.

I was cutting calories, but cutting them TOO much, and didn't have enough fuel to function properly. My body was revolting against me. I made everything TOO hard.

I needed a calorie deficit. But not a huge one. I only needed to eat 10-20% less than I was before, not 50% less. With the right deficit, I had the energy to function... not only function, but thrive. Have enough energy to go from couch potato to athletic, from mushy to firm.

And I thought it was all over for me in my early/mid 30s when I had a hard time losing. Boy, was I wrong.

taso42

Everyone can succeed. Even you.

CoraGregoryCPA

Live like people did 30 to 40 years ago and you would be way more active and you surely wouldn't be eating fast food and all of the crap that you eat. Just saying... not "you" personally, just someone who wants to live like people did 30 to 40 years ago.

This is life. You can't eat 4000 calories a day and not gain weight, unless you are pure muscle and have a high metabolism. It's life.

Elzecat

And yes part of this frustration is from seeing people who happen to have "good" insurance or money...who buy the fix (aka surgeries) Great for them. But I'm still me, and I'll keep trying and I'll keep doing the same thing over and over because I'm going to live my life the way people did 30-40 years ago.

I'm sorry calorie counting/MFP is not working for you, or you feel like it's not working. But if you honestly think bariatric surgery is a quick and easy fix, you have never met anyone who has had that surgery and then KEPT OFF THE WEIGHT, which is the hardest part. While I did not have weight loss surgery, a very close friend did, and it is no quick and easy fix.

Focus on the positives in your life and what you CAN do. Good luck.

JingleMuffin

you dont want it bad enough to try without stoping. and surgery isnt a quick fix like people think it is. You couldnt PAY ME to get that ish done to my body.

I'd rather fight.

what is your alterantive? to get fatter and fatter until you die un unhappy sad life? or to just stay the same amount of fat?
the time will pass weather you are improving yourself or not.

quirkytizzy

what is your alterantive? to get fatter and fatter until you die un unhappy sad life? or to just stay the same amount of fat?
the time will pass weather you are improving yourself or not.

This is what keeps me logging every damn day. Exactly.

lacurandera1

Saying you "can't" (and believing it) is the only thing stopping you.

You can do this. Anybody can do this. But it takes determination and a reasonable plan you can stick with.

penrbrown

The first and most important thing you need to do is log your food. Log EVERYTHING you eat. Weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise. You can't out exercise a terrible diet.

Lies. I lost 30lbs on a diet of fast food and junk food. The reason I lost? My calories were always under and I exercised an hour a day. *shrug*

You CAN out exercise a terrible diet.

But it's much, much easier to just modify your diet and get control of your desire to eat.

NakedLunchTime

The sedentary part comes from sitting in front of a computer with about 3 times a day I can get up and move around. Otherwise I'm glued to my computer and phone.
When I get home I'm active, but not exercise active, it's laundry, supper, dishes, yard work or now snow work, kids baths, maybe me too .
But there are times that I get almost all the way home and I'm just exhausted, by the time I fix the kids something for supper and change the clothes out....I am wiped, mentally and physically.

Most of us feel that way, but you just have to make time for it.

valeriebpdx

bump for the motivating replies