What's the most random thing you've heard a little kid say ?

Yolanda_85

Oh I have so many.

When our daughter was newly potty trained she knocked on the bathroom door while my husband was inside:

Her: Daddy, are you peeing?
Him: Yes, I'll be out in a minute.
Her; Daddy?
Him: Yes?
Her: Don't forget to hold it with both hands.


Again, when our daughter was almost 3, her brother was standing on the dock without a diaper on and she replied: I can see your pee-nuts. PEANUTS.....peanut butter, and jelly.


My son, at the tender age of 3

Son: Mommy, I love you.
Me: I love you too baby.
Son: Mommy, I love your boobies.
Me: speechless

:laugh: that's priceless!

MissHolidayGolightly

When I was little I saw a large formed bra and yelled, "LOOK MOM, THAT ONE'S ALREADY GOT THE BOOBS IN IT!!"

mmtiernan

I took my daughter to the zoo when she was almost 3. As we approached the rhinoceros enclosure she yelled out, "Look Mommy! It's a BOY rhinoceros 'cause he's got a REALLY BIG pen--!! I clapped my hand over her mouth to keep her from shouting that last word, but it was too late - I thought this little old couple next to us was going to have fits because they were laughing so hard!

My favorite was one day when I was buckling her into her car seat, she reached up, patted my face and said, "I sure do love you, sweet cheeks!"

A few years ago, my daughter (then about 15) and I went to use the restroom after seeing a movie only to find a very little boy of about 4 going from stall to stall, peeking under and asking, "Mom?"

pudgeylou

We were at a stop sign and my daughter (who was 4 at the time) was in the back seat. The car behind us honked his horn at me and in not so appropriate language I said, "I can't go *#%hole." and from the back seat my daughter says, "Grandpa's behind us?"

I have to wonder what Grandma calls Grandpa while little ears are listening.

AbbyCar

My daughter was about four and was throwing a complete fit in a hotel lobby. I calmly picked her up, took her to our room and told her that she needed to sit and think about her actions. I was pretty proud of myself and after a few minutes I said, "Now Madeline have you been thinking about how you acted." She replied, "Yes." "Okay, well, what do you think?" To which she seriously replied, "That I need a new mommy!"

jen10st

My little cousin 3yrs old at the time had his face painted as a dinosaur, 3 days (yes days!) Later he finally let his mum wash it off, ha came running up to me and in the saddest little voice I've ever heard said "im not a dinosaur anymore, I can't eat bugs now"
Ummm bugs? Eeewww! None of us caught him doing THAT!

gomisskellygo

When my son was about 4, we were having a family dinner. As we were all sipping our soup, my son says, "Soup is healthy. It is good for your body. It makes my private warm".

WTH...we all spit out our soup laughing. Kids are hillarious.

nancycaregiver

I'm a preschool teacher and I could write a book! Here are a few favorites.

Music teacher: Halloween is over but we have another holiday coming up. Who can tell me, when do we eat turkey?
4 year old: Only after he's dead!!

Assistant: look at the coupons.
4 year old: My mama wipes her butt with coupons.
Me: what?
4 year old: My mama wipes her but with coupons.
While I'm mulling that over trying to figure out what she could possibly be talking about she stops and thinks for a minute.
4 year old: No, wait. That's TAMPONS!

I had 3 year old with spina bifida. He wore big bulky braces that wrapped around his waist, ran down the outside of his legs, locked at the knees, and hooked into the sides of his shoes. He could walk with a walker with the braces on. He would get so angry when I would change his diaper because he wanted to wear underwear like his brother but was unable to because of the spina bifida. He would scream at me terribly every diaper change. I knew the source of his anger and would just talk to him. One day, he was yelling at me to put his shoes back on, which I did not plan on doing because it was time for nap and he could not sleep in those big bulky braces. He told me to take the shoes off the braces and put them on, RIGHT NOW!! It was very difficult and time consuming to take them apart just to put them back together after nap time. But he continued to scream at me so I said "Give me one good reason to put your shoes on at nap time and I'll do it". He got very close to my face and said in a very quiet voice "What if I dream that I'm running!"
Well, I wiped the tears from my eyes while I unhooked the braces from his shoes and he never had to ask me again to put his shoes on for nap time!

missmegan831

When my son was 3 he asked me why my 'balls' were on my chest and not in my pants!!! LOL Needless to say he's 14 now and knows !!

nancycaregiver

I had a student named Jesus (pronounced hay-Seuss). His bus driver absolutely could not say it so she just called him Jesus (English pronunciation of the son of God). Jesus did not come to school one day and the bus driver was wondering if he had come in late. So she asked another 4 year old in my class if he had seen Jesus today. He said, "No. I haven't been to church since Sunday."

Ladyslippers

My now 13yo had some great ones when he was younger (circa 3-4yo or so):

"I'm a good boy for getting a gumball!"

"Moooom! The sun's awake! I can get up now!"

raquel424

My almost 3 year old just threw the first f word bomb out there to be heard loud and clear, getting excited over a music and dance movie she stood in the middle of the room announcing to the crowd and I quote " this is f*&king crazy"
she is clever and she says a lot of clever things but this one was the recent and most impact-full "event"

Kimberly3013

Not so much what he says but what he sings....my 4 yr old son likes to go out in the front yard and at the top of his lungs sing "Red Solo Cup". And yes, he knows all the words. Another one that has been hanging out with dad too much. I fear what the neighbors are thinking

TheLuSir

Back at the crib...

Mrs_Bones

I'm a pediatric nurse and one of my seven year-old patients said to me, "Hey! I need a hammer and a parachute!" So I'm all like, "What for?" and his response was, "A hammer to break the window and a parachute to jump out so I can escape" Clever little bugger.

quirkytizzy

I had 3 year old with spina bifida. He wore big bulky braces that wrapped around his waist, ran down the outside of his legs, locked at the knees, and hooked into the sides of his shoes. He could walk with a walker with the braces on. He would get so angry when I would change his diaper because he wanted to wear underwear like his brother but was unable to because of the spina bifida. He would scream at me terribly every diaper change. I knew the source of his anger and would just talk to him. One day, he was yelling at me to put his shoes back on, which I did not plan on doing because it was time for nap and he could not sleep in those big bulky braces. He told me to take the shoes off the braces and put them on, RIGHT NOW!! It was very difficult and time consuming to take them apart just to put them back together after nap time. But he continued to scream at me so I said "Give me one good reason to put your shoes on at nap time and I'll do it". He got very close to my face and said in a very quiet voice "What if I dream that I'm running!"
Well, I wiped the tears from my eyes while I unhooked the braces from his shoes and he never had to ask me again to put his shoes on for nap time!

This made me cry. So beautiful!

valeriebpdx

When my older son was four I told him to dress warmly because it was chilly out, and he comes down in an outfit for an Arctic expedition. I told him maybe that was a little too warm and he should try again, and he got frustrated and burst out, "It's harder to be a boy than a bird." I reckon he's right.

goldthistime

Christmas morning my 4 year old stood looking quietly at the presents for her under the tree and said to me “Santa brings presents to kids even if dey don’t be good?”

JessikaBlayne

bump to read later xD

BurtHuttz

"Great mother goose! It's geniuses!"