What's the most random thing you've heard a little kid say ?

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  • kelp99
    kelp99 Posts: 101 Member
    My mom and I were shopping at Target [Mom had her own cart, I had my own cart with my 21/2 yr old cousin in it]. We were walking around seperately but eventually I rejoined my mom in the little boy clothes and she asked me to look for boy's socks.

    Topher : What?
    Me: Aunt Linda wants us to look for socks, boy's socks.
    Topher: C**ks? Boy's C**ks?
    Me: Boy's Socks.
    Topher: Boy's C**ks [pointing at the socks hanging on the wall]
    Me: Right, boy's socks.

    Another time, when he was 6 he was at my house playing with our boxer, Lola. [They are best buddies and according to him she is his wife.] Anyway, my sister was in her room and I was in mine, but I could hear him out in the hall playing with the dog. All of a sudden, he starts crying and calls to my sister;
    "Tammy... Lola bit my p***s!"
  • Poetic_Photography
    Poetic_Photography Posts: 138
    My coworker asked her 2 year old son: "What does Frosty the Snowman say?"

    2 year old's response: "Happy Birthday!!" :laugh:
  • Laffinhippiegurl
    Laffinhippiegurl Posts: 41 Member
    My sweet baby at 5 asked me where all the corn was that grew in the graveyard where I worked. (I was working straight graveyards at the time.)
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    My 4yr old is constantly asking strange questions. Why do bats hang upside down? How do you type revolving lighthouse? Why does my hair grow? Why does the dog wag his tail when he is happy? Why did you name me Santa's name (Nicholas)? Where does the wind come from? What is 7+8 (not enough fingers for that one)? When will I be old like daddy? Why do wolves chase piggies? Why do rhinos charge? Why do I drink cow milk and the baby drinks people milk? What plant do I use on a football zombie?
  • wldrose75
    wldrose75 Posts: 128
    I said to my 4 year old nephew the other day, "Don't touch that, its yucky." His response was, "Like pig diarrhea in the mouth!" My response was, "Yes, exactly like that."

    I have a new phrase for yucky now!! :smile:


    We were in a restaurant. After finishing our meal, my uncle say, "Are we ready to go?" My 3 year old cousin, Ashlyn, pipes up, "Yeah, let's go to the bar!"

    My 2 1/2 year old nephew was showing Grandpa a caterpillar that he and Grandma had caught and put in a jar. Grandpa: Oh, a caterpillar. Dillon: He's my brother. Grandpa: He's your brother? Dillon: Yeah, he's my brother. (We never did figure out where that one came from.)

    And last but not least, another child who spends way too much time with Dad. Dillon (at 4) and Grandpa were in Dillon's room playing. From the other end of the house, Dillon's mom is calling, "Dillon! Dillon?" Dillon walks over and shuts the bedroom door, rolls his eyes and then turns to Grandpa and says, "I get so tired of that." :laugh:
  • Goodbye_Thunder_Thighs
    Goodbye_Thunder_Thighs Posts: 91
    I picked up Miss almost 3 from child care on Tuesday and she told me she wasn't a little girl, the conversation went like this.
    Miss : "My legs are big now mummy"
    Me : "Yes baby your getting big now"
    Miss : "I not baby I Miss, my hands are big now"
    Me : "Your bum is big too, I could eat it"
    Miss "No eat my bum"
    Me : "Your belly big too"
    Miss in a whingy voice : "My boobies not big"

    I had to pull over I was laughing so hard
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    When my dad was really little, his mom took him on a bus. There was a rabbi on the bus, who had a yarmulke on and had a long dark beard.

    My dad (who was probably no older than five or six) looked at the rabbi, then exclaimed to my grandmother, "Look, Mommy, a black Santa!"

    :laugh:
  • Embera
    Embera Posts: 289 Member
    ok when i was little i dont know how old but im prety sure it was before school i went to a Christmas party with my grandmother and was telling everyone "I have pot at home" i was referring to spot the dog books my favorite story till this day

    ok this one isnt about kids really but i thought id share ok my grandmother and my mom and aunt went out to a fancy dinner and were waring wrap around skirts but on the way there she kept lecturing them about being well behaved young ladies. Dinner went on with no problems and when they all got up to leave with my grandfather, my grandmothers skirt was still sitting on the chair so the girls and my grandfather just kept going trying to stifle their laughter so she grabbed her skirt and went outside and my grandfather told her that he would take the girls out again but not my grandmother because she wasn't lady like
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 497 Member
    My coworker asked her 2 year old son: "What does Frosty the Snowman say?"

    2 year old's response: "Happy Birthday!!" :laugh:

    Frosty the Snowman does say "Happy Birthday!" Every time he comes to life. Kid is right, not random.
  • Embera
    Embera Posts: 289 Member
    oh i have another one i didnt really say it but i had Pokemon stickers that i was selling at my lunch table in the 2nd grade and i got in trouble for it and the principal wanted my dad to punish me and he wouldn't he said it was supply and demand it wasnt my fault that they were causing a mob yep i was a crafty kid sold them for a quarter a piece
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    ...My favourite one though, is when I was working in a shop, and a little girl came in, stops, stares at me, and says "mummy! A princess!" I have no idea why she said that, but it comes back to me 10 years later to make me smile...

    I was volunteering in my aunt's first-grade classroom one day and when I came into the room, one boy pointed and shouted, "Look, a beautiful princess!" and all the little ones turned and went "wow" and "ooh" and "ahh." So adorable! :heart:
  • Bownzi
    Bownzi Posts: 423 Member
    OMG..... Get this f"""""""g frog off of me.....it's trying to eat me.... Kid in a basket who's grand ma had just put the very large stuffed frog on the shelf.and it fell down over the kids head...
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
    when my son was 4, we were at walmart, a veteran was outside in his wheelchair, and he had neither of his legs..i knew it was going to be a disaster if we went in the nearest door, so i bee-lined to the opposite side, but it was too late..my son, blurted out very loudly "mommy, how cont that man has no legs?" i was horrified..then my other son, on a different occasion saw some i guess middle eastern women, all covered up and such, and he said "look daddy, ghosts !" im SO glad they are mostly past that phase:blushing:
  • MFPfriend
    MFPfriend Posts: 1,121 Member
    Bump. These are making me laugh so hard!
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
    Every time we walk in our gate, my 4 year old slams the gate shut and tails it for the door. If you ask him why he says 'so the peapocks(peacocks) don't get me!' He's been doing this for months now. We've never had a peacock anywhere near our house.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    conversation between my two:

    6 yr old: you're a living thing

    (then) 2 yr old: I'm NOT a living thing!!

    6 yr old: yes you are. you're a little girl. little girls are living things

    2 yr old: I'm NOT a living thing!!!

    6 yr old: but you are a living thing though!!!

    2 yr old: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! MUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!! (name) is calling me a living thing! WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,210 Member
    I'm famous in my family for this one.

    My grandfather had a sister called Agnes and she wasn't very popular with the family. At 3 years old, I walked up to her and announced "We've got a chicken called Agnes. Mummy says she's an old b!tch too!"
  • MandyPhoe
    MandyPhoe Posts: 94 Member
    I watched this teacher pretend to be a deer to get some 3-4 year olds to state what tigers ate.

    As he crawled around the room ....

    Child 1 : MEAT!!!! TIGERS EAT MEAT!!!
    Teacher : Very good (name) ---- what kind of meat??
    Child 2 : Red Meat!
    Child 3 : White meat! Because you are white!
  • VanessaHeartsMasr
    VanessaHeartsMasr Posts: 727
    My daughter was NOTORIOUS for saying funny stuff.

    When she was 5 years old, she went to an after school program. I was a single mom at this point of my life. One day when picking her up, the teacher excitedly exclaimed, "Congratulations!" I was confused and asked her why she said that. "Kayla told me you are having a baby!" "Um, no. I'm not having a baby." Turning to my daughter, "Why would you say that?" To which she replied, very loudly, "MOM! You ARE going to have a baby! As soon as you find a man!"

    Another time, in a very crowded Target bathroom, loudly, "MOM! Why is your butt so hairy?" You could hear a pin drop, followed by tons of stifled laughter in the surrounding stalls.

    Another time, when she was about 3, she had just learned the correct anatomical name of her private part. That day at her daycare center, all the kids made puppets and were told to name their puppets. All the other kids named their puppets "Fred" or "George" or some other mundane name. I got quietly pulled into the corner by the teacher who informed me that Kayla had named her puppet "Vagina."
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
    a first grader- apropos of nothing - " Why do girl cows have all of those penises?"
  • Terasome
    Terasome Posts: 3,808 Member
    My 4 year old today was playing with his sisters dolls and told me one of them was going to die because she sniffed the other ones butt. I had to look the other one to stifle my laugh.
  • nancycaregiver
    nancycaregiver Posts: 812 Member
    My husband and I had our 20th anniversary when my youngest son was 4. He had a serious crush on an 18 year old from church. So for our anniversary, we decided to go out of town for the night. We left the children with Katy, the girl from church overnight. The youngest did well and we were very excited because it was his first time away from home. That Monday when I took him to preschool, I asked him to tell everyone what he did over the weekend. He smiled really big and said, "I slept with Katy Qualls!"
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    My daughter was 3 at the time. I was washing dishes. She comes up to me and says "Mama can I play with the man nuggets?" I put the dish down and stare at her with big eyes, my mind scrambling to understand if I heard her correctly, I said "what"???? She says "the man nuggets, where are they, I want to play with them" Now I'm SURE I heard her correctly, I dont know whether to be concerned or laugh, I said "We dont have man nuggets" She says "yes the man nuggets you hide them in the closet!!!!, I want the man nuggets!!" I take her over to the closet, open the door, and show her there are no man nuggets hidden in the closet,...she takes out the MAGNETIX and goes about her business.


    The same child a year later told me my nephew zipped up his vagina after he went to the bathroom. :laugh:


    My oldest daughter saw my mom struggling to get out of her chair and making some groans while doing it ...my daughter said "Grandma are you pooping??"
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
    Upsidebackwards

    JM
  • KevinsCatie
    KevinsCatie Posts: 137 Member
    And this is one of my favorite things to come out of my niece's mouth (after she stuck a metal barrette in a socket and shocked herself...and she's four)

    SIL: "Oh, Anna, why would you do that?"
    Anna: "It's your fault! You took the cover off the outlet. Why would you do that?"

    ^^^ This..... made me cry I was laughing so hard!

    My friends 5 yr old had this convoe with his mom
    "Mommy, why does Osito call his weewee a turtle?"
    "Because thats what he wants to call it."
    "Oh..... I'm going to call mine a giraffe!"
  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
    On One Born Every Minute a lady was having twins and her young son apparently went into school and told everyone that his mum and dad must have 'done it' for a long time as they were having twins!
  • hdjjones
    hdjjones Posts: 130 Member
    It was spring time and my daughter was about 4 years old. The male and female cat were doing their thing and my daughter said "Look dad, kitty's riding back seat and biting."
  • KevinsCatie
    KevinsCatie Posts: 137 Member
    I had 3 year old with spina bifida. He wore big bulky braces that wrapped around his waist, ran down the outside of his legs, locked at the knees, and hooked into the sides of his shoes. He could walk with a walker with the braces on. He would get so angry when I would change his diaper because he wanted to wear underwear like his brother but was unable to because of the spina bifida. He would scream at me terribly every diaper change. I knew the source of his anger and would just talk to him. One day, he was yelling at me to put his shoes back on, which I did not plan on doing because it was time for nap and he could not sleep in those big bulky braces. He told me to take the shoes off the braces and put them on, RIGHT NOW!! It was very difficult and time consuming to take them apart just to put them back together after nap time. But he continued to scream at me so I said "Give me one good reason to put your shoes on at nap time and I'll do it". He got very close to my face and said in a very quiet voice "What if I dream that I'm running!"
    Well, I wiped the tears from my eyes while I unhooked the braces from his shoes and he never had to ask me again to put his shoes on for nap time!

    This made me cry. So beautiful!


    Ahhhh Me too!
  • hdjjones
    hdjjones Posts: 130 Member
    When my son was little I dropped something and it rolled under a chair. My wife was in a panick that I lost it. I was down on my knees looking for it and said to my wife, "don't get so excited, it's not a crisis, I will find it". The next thing I know my son is standing next to me with a flashlight saying "here daddy, find the crisis".
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Today at my son's preschool:

    Teacher: Who can write their last names without looking?
    My son: closes eyes and starts to write his name......

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