I feel helpless

lloydtiffany

I understand where you are coming from and you are not alone. Reading this made me want to cry. I know it's hard; but, trust me you can overcome it. Nobody said it would be easy and you can't just stop something cold turkey, you have to gradually do it.... I have dealt with the same problem you are having and one day I said enough is enough especially when i couldn't get into my favorite jeans. What you have to do is start disciplining yourself. First, start replacing some of that junk food for a piece of fruit. Cut back on the sodas maybe only drink 3 a day and work you way down to 1 a week. Cut back on your calories start at 1900 calories a day and gradually work your way down to however many calories you would like to take in a day. The thing is as long as your cutting back on calories you are losing weight and when you add excercise it helps even quicker. Also remember that you are burning calories all day long no matter what your doing, from walking around to sitting up all day. I promise if you just try these few things you will feel so much better about yourself. I take in 1420 calories a day and I workout its very hard especially because I'm married I have a 6 month old daughter I go to school and work.. If you work hard you can do it just remember it takes time. We didnt gain the weight in a week even though it may seem that way, so it's only fair to say it won't take a week to lose it. If you need anymore words of encouragement or you just want to talk feel free to add me...

BullletproofPaleoman

Hello.

I keep reading people say things like "If you don't have the desire to do it you won't", or other phrases along those lines and that is like the biggest slap in the face to me EVERY time. Losing weight and getting healthy is ALL I think about, but for some reason I find it near impossible to make the choices I need to make to turn my life around. I feel like I have lost all control of myself. I could be thinking how badly I DO NOT need whatever junk is awaiting for me in the kitchen, and as I remind myself of this over and over again, and beg myself to just stop and put it away, I am standing there fixing it for myself, then ultimately eating it. I am constantly fighting myself and it's extremely exhausting, especially when in the end all I feel is dread and disappointment in myself for not being able to control myself over something so small. I can't stand the way that I look and am disgusted with myself, if all I want is to be happy and healthy, why is it so hard for me to do this?

Just typing this makes me want to cry. I keep waiting for the magic moment when I am so miserable that I will finally just break down and do what I'm supposed to, but the moment never comes, and I keep making these horrible decisions. I don't know where to turn, my friends and family members are of no help because they do not have the same views that I have when it comes to a healthy and fit lifestyle.

I'm at a total loss. I guess I'm just wondering if other girls, or guys, have gone through this sort of helpless feeling and struggle, and if so were you able to overcome it, how?

You are not the only one to sruggle with this. There have been times when we have had junk food in the house, and that seemed like all I could think of until I'd eaten it. All of it. Then I would feel that guilt and shame that you're feeling. Then that guilt and shame would feel so bad that I would eat more crap to make me feel better. Then buy bigger pants.

So far this year I am not doing that. What works for me is eating lots of protein and healthy fat, and very little carbs. Some people do well by just eating less of the (junk) foods they love, but Ive found out that doesn't work for me, because I keep craving more. But if I can eat all the meat and vegetables I want, sometimes I'm actually surprised when it's time for the next meal. You can't believe how empowering that is, after going thru times where I've felt like food was in control of me instead of the other way around!!

Thesarahmonster

Thank you to everyone for all your motivation and support. I know a lot of you were commenting on junk food in the house, I do try to keep it out, but I live with 2 other people who don't really give a rats you know what about eating healthy. I've actually considered buying them their own mini fridge to keep their food in, somewhere AWAY from me.

I am going to keep pushing on no matter what, I've just had this overwhelming feeling of dread these past couple of weeks and I needed to get all of it out, it's so nice to know that others have gone through the same thing and came out on top! It gives me hope.

upgetupgetup

I've felt that way about various things in my life. Twisted up in knots, stuck, unable to move or see how. I can't tell you the impact this glib-sounding revelation has made on many aspects of my life:

EMOTION FOLLOWS MOTION

The next best thing I've learned has been:

MAKE IT EASY TO NOT **** UP

***

So the first one's hard until you get into a groove. I think exercise is the best to start with, because you're adding things, not taking them away. Even though it physically hurts more initially, maybe - that lasts a couple of weeks to a month. By the end of the month, you feel 50% better in pretty much every way. And you have more energy to put into nutrition.

What gets you through that month is NOT GIVING YOURSELF THE OPTION TO NOT DO eg 30 minutes of walking a day. No matter how bad or tired you feel. You wouldn't go to sleep without taking off your makeup, right? Same thing. The day doesn't turn without you walking 30 minutes. Almost always (except when muscles are sore), you feel better physically and emotionally. And you also feel better because you did something good for yourself, and moved closer to your goal.

***
Making it easy - it's a general principle, with I guess a few steps in it. Like not keeping foods you might binge on in the house. There, you don't have that option now, and you don't have to stress about maybe bingeing. Going grocery shopping regularly so you're not stuck without food. Eating at regular times. Planning meals, sometimes preparing them in advance. All this is planning. That takes learning and getting used to - there are tricks to it, for sure, MFP is full of them.

For exercise, making it easy means doing something achievable and easy for you. If workout clothes are an issue, get enough for four workouts, at Old Navy or Walmart. If going to a gym's a hassle, walk, or do a DVD. (If you want to go to a gym, pick one really close to where you WORK or study, not live, and get something done before you get home, so you don't sink into destress mode and have to work yourself up to go out again. Buy and keep ready a set of whatever toiletries you need, and rent a locker if you can so you don't have to think about that.)

If you hate swimming, don't do that. If you love dancing, do that. Start with anything you like. The point for the first little while is to get moving, period. Down the line, your interests and knowledge may change, but right now, just get moving. Everything will feel different with one step. (Alright, maybe like a few hundred, but the first will take you to the last.)

ellygolightly

I think rather than focusing on the fact that you can't say NO, is to remove all traces so you don't even have to say no. This is exactly what I did. I've lost 20kg (44lbs) so far and the only way I got there was removing temptation in every way possible. I didn't buy it, therefore I couldn't have it. It gets a lot easier as time goes on.

DawnEH612

I can totally relate.. So much so that my initial journey on MFP wasn't even about losing weight, it was about trying to develop a healthier relationship with food and overcoming very poor eating habits. I also believe i have what some may define as an "addiction" to simple carbs such as baked goods....
Feel free to read my blogs about my journey. My heaviest known weight was 204 and this week i weighed 135... It was not easy and i fought many a demon that lived in my own mind/thoughts, ... But you will get stronger, you are able to do this... Get your sword ready for battle.. Here come the dragons.

One of my blogs of enlightenment! Maybe it will help you??? If you want support, REAL support... Feel free to fr me.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/DawnEH612/view/it-s-all-in-my-head-257520