A personal rant

ninerbuff

Thank you for perspective! I'm very sorry about your friend relapse Joe.

Now I want to rant about how inappropriate I feel it is for a physician to tell a patient a time line on their life expectancy. I don't get it at all. Why not have compassion and common sense and decency to tell a patient that they should live everyday to the fullest and get their affairs in order because with their health conditions there's no telling how long they have? After all isn't that more honest and true? This bugs me when physicians quote a time frame and it bugs me when a veterinarian does as well. It makes loved ones begin to mourn even though the person, pet etc is still very much alive.

Enjoy every loved one. Enjoy every day. And enjoy every sunrise and sunset you continue to have. Life is very fragile but life isn't a script and the last page can't be turned to by looking ahead so stop guessing at how many pages are left and don't listen to someone who says they know because its not yet a finished story and the end hasn't been written

End rant.

Agreed. Both my parents were in the medical field and my father (surgical tech) explained to me when I was younger that he didn't get very emotional about losing patients or telling loved ones they lost their father, mother, son, daughter, etc. because if he did it would take a toll on him. I can see that. But words and how they are conveyed do count and for a person that's still living, the way you described is a better way of telling a patient.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

I agree 110000%. I lost my youngest brother who was my favorite sibling just a little over 40 days ago due to a sudden cardiac death when he just woke up then again fell back on bed only to find out that he was dead. I'm also at high risk since I'm diabetic and also had episodes of near cardiac death most especially when I was still at my highest weight. We were all surprised at my brother's untimely death since aside from being the youngest of all, he was also athletic like me and nobody ever thought that he would pass out soon at age 24. I saw him the night before he died and he appeared very healthy and in fact even went out with his friends. One of my brothers was very regretful because he didn't treat him that well as a brother but it was too late.

Sure, we all have some misunderstandings which is very normal with all types of relationships including family. But I feel sad whenever I see or hear somebody kill their parents or cheated a brother. Life is too short and we never know when our time will come. Every second is an opportunity to show our love to one another, grab it while you can coz tomorrow might be too late.

Losing weight is indeed one of the best things that we can do to our body but being obssessive about it do more harm than good. Health must be our number one priority, aesthetic should only come as an icing on the cake.

MyChocolateDiet

^nothing to add. except want to box her for the title of "MujerMasBonitaDeTodoElMundo". I thought it was me? at least that's what I was told? over. and over. and over. LOL!

awake4777

Before my father passed I was so worried about him. Before his passing (sbout 2 weeks before) he told me to stop worrying. He told me he would let me know when it was time to worry. That was our last conversation we had about him dying. He never told me when to start worrying.

I just got it. Today, while writing this. Even though I know the doctors don't have the final say I still want to know how long they think my loved or me has.

Diffferent people want different things. I have 2 sisters who would never want to know. Different strokes.

bpotts44

Working in a Wellness Center, I get to see the good and bad. Today I saw the bad. A female acquaintance I have there had a conversation with me this morning and it made me sad. She had been in remission for a rare cancer, but after today, doctors don't think her outlook is going to be very good in the next few months. Chances are high that she may pass before the end of the year. At age 38. She's kind, and doesn't want a pity party and tries to be an encouraging inspiration with anyone she meets.
So where's my rant? It gets monotonous when I get on here and people WHINE about not losing weight or gaining a pound etc. I think of people that have bad health issues, lost a limb, suffered a stroke, etc. and what they wouldn't give to exchange places with someone who's battling a little weight.
GET OVER IT. Embrace the fact that you don't suffer like some do and take a look around an enjoy the beauty of family and friends. Lots of times we forget that we're a lot luckier than we think we are.

RANT OVER.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I agree. The 11 yo daughter of close friends of ours suffered a really bad stroke recently and it puts so much in perspective. HTFU people and stop whining.

MeeshyBW

I agree to an extent however we are on a Fitness and Nutrition forum so talking about 1lbs and ounces is the forums main purpose.

You are obviously hurting because of your good friend which is understandable and feel the need to "rant", but this forum is support for a lot of people on their weight loss journeys and your rant as you put it, might hurt someone who is really struggling with their weights feelings who use MFP for positive encouragement which they may not get from friends and families.

I am sorry to hear about your friend and everyone's sad stories of people they know/knew.

Lialena

It all comes down to perspective. I have gone through some really difficult things, some that anyone would agree is hard, and some that others would say i should just get over. But this is easier said then done in some situations, and I've learned that just because I find something difficult does not mean someone else would feel the same, or could see my point of view if I were to express how I felt about it. The same works in reverse, I might not understand their difficulties. Ditto with fears, challenges, joys... We are not the other person, and any feelings that other person has are valid to them. Not being "as bad as ____" doesn't mean they can't or shouldn't find their annoyance of the day annoying. But,, since your feelings are valid too, it's fine that you may not agree.

I'm retaining water (I'm assuming) and my weight is slightly up from last week and I was a bit tempted to post a rant/whine in my status update. Perfectly valid feelings on my part to be frustrated, but I can understand that others may not share that view. It's certainly not as bad as cancer. It's not as bad as the deaths of my dad and other loved ones, my sister's current illness, when my house caught fire and had to be rebuilt, loosing my job last year, and so on. But today it sucks and it's OK I feel like that, and it's OK that you feel like I should see the bigger picture.

Nissi51

yes we all need to be grateful for all we have, not just our health!

It's all relative.... The girl in Africa who won't see her 10th birthday because she will likely starve to death would trade places with your friend who made it to 38, has food and medical care here in North America. We whine about our struggles because we are such a privileged society.

This IS an appropriate place to "whine" about weight struggles...and use the tools, support others, share information, be amused by the forums . Just the fact that we need the tool shows how privileged we are!

It's all relative

quirkytizzy

Is good to read this. I forget that kind of thing sometimes. Good to be reminded of it.

Thank you, Ninerbuff. I appreciate you posting this.

sunsnstatheart

Thank you for posting. Waking up to a little perspective is a great way to start the day.

Cr01502

Working in a Wellness Center, I get to see the good and bad. Today I saw the bad. A female acquaintance I have there had a conversation with me this morning and it made me sad. She had been in remission for a rare cancer, but after today, doctors don't think her outlook is going to be very good in the next few months. Chances are high that she may pass before the end of the year. At age 38. She's kind, and doesn't want a pity party and tries to be an encouraging inspiration with anyone she meets.
So where's my rant? It gets monotonous when I get on here and people WHINE about not losing weight or gaining a pound etc. I think of people that have bad health issues, lost a limb, suffered a stroke, etc. and what they wouldn't give to exchange places with someone who's battling a little weight.
GET OVER IT. Embrace the fact that you don't suffer like some do and take a look around an enjoy the beauty of family and friends. Lots of times we forget that we're a lot luckier than we think we are.

RANT OVER.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Very well said Joe.

As always.

sissiluv

But what about what happens when the preoccupation with thinness is a symptom of an unhealthy mind? Health comes in all shapes and sizes, inside and out.

Not saying that I don't agree as I do to an extent, and your and her situation is certainly more than relevant and sympathetic. We should appreciate and be grateful for what we have, but generalizing isn't necessarily the greatest thing under the sun either.

skinnyinnotime

I don't mind people that moan about things that they are trying to change.

It's the ones that just moan and do nothing I cannot stand, I do not want to listen to their crap. If you aren't happy about something, DO something about it!!!

Momf3boys

You're completely right! I started losing weight and list 17 lbs before getting sick. All the sudden the weight started flying off due to stage 4a cervical cancer. I'd give anything to be back to only fighting my weight.

I'm so sorry that you are in this fight

I started my weight loss journey in 2007 and lost 130 pounds...was in the best shape of my life (or at least I thought) and then I was diagnosed in 2010 with breast cancer. After my fight with cancer I became pregnant and packed on lots of weight...I'm now fighting to get it off but like you said...I would much rather be dealing with weight issues than the fight that you are now in. My heart goes out to you... :flowerforyou:

<<hugs>>

ChaseAlder

When someone moans about something I think is insignificant, I try to remember that it's significant to them. Personally, I think whining about having to work holidays is ridiculous, but maybe the person whining about it is missing a really important family, like the last Christmas of a dying relative. It isn't my place to decide what is insignificant.

ron2e

So are these people who rant over such unimportant thing in any way affecting your friend who is dying of cancer and who doesn't complain? Sorry I don't think so, and it reminds me of being told to eat up everything on my plate as a kid because "kids are dying in India and Africa from starvation". So by eating everything, am I somehow feeding them? If I don't eat everything do I hurt them in any way? The issues are entirely unconnected and there is no direct link (and it probably did me a lot of harm by building in this urge to eat everything however big the helping is, something I am only really getting over now).

I just hate spurious logic like this. People have every right to rant over whatever they like, regardless of what is happening to other people. I can see how you make the connection, so please, just don't read these threads, but there is no intrinsic connection.

dakitten2

I lost my 2 best friends to cancer a few years ago and now my sister in law is undergoing chemo for stage 3 lymphoma. I am the worrier in the family, as I worry about everybody. I've been guilty over stressing over minor things in my life but I dont bring them to the forums. I will generally post things with my friends because we are a tight group and share the big and little things going on in our lives.

I've been stuck in the same weight for a bit. But yesterday, I made a decision. If I dont lose these last 18 pounds, I'll still be satisfied. I wont be totally happy as I still will have an overweight BMI. But I am not giving up by any means. I'm still eating my calories for the most part. But if you look at my diary, I have been up/down lately because of losing one of our furbabies 10 days ago and my doctor has sidelined my exercise right now because of issues with my knee replacements. But I'm not about to blow what I've accomplished so far.

SwimFan1981

So are these people who rant over such unimportant thing in any way affecting your friend who is dying of cancer and who doesn't complain? Sorry I don't think so, and it reminds me of being told to eat up everything on my plate as a kid because "kids are dying in India and Africa from starvation". So by eating everything, am I somehow feeding them? If I don't eat everything do I hurt them in any way? The issues are entirely unconnected and there is no direct link (and it probably did me a lot of harm by building in this urge to eat everything however big the helping is, something I am only really getting over now).

I just hate spurious logic like this. People have every right to rant over whatever they like, regardless of what is happening to other people. I can see how you make the connection, so please, just don't read these threads, but there is no intrinsic connection.

This.

susheetush

I remember a website I belonged to where women were struggling with infertility. I was one. And the argument was that any woman who didn't have infertility didn't have a right to complain about their pregnancies because they didn't know what it was like to not be able to have a baby.

I didn't get that logic and I used to argue about it all the time. People should be able to talk about things that bother them. Something trivial to you may not be trivial to someone else. It may be a first world problem but it's still a problem.

Does it mean we shouldn't count our blessings sometimes? Of course not. But if you want to vent about a 1lb weight gain, here's a better place to do it than most.

jball1954

We get wrapped up in our own little "problems". The fact that there are so many obese Americans who struggle to lose weight by diet and/or exercise is certainly what some call a "First World Probem". We add alot of drama to these issues. Eating too much and not exercising or being active is not good for our health but It COULD be worse--both here and in other parts of the world. So, while it's easy to say "Get over it" sometimes we just should! A friend once said that the best diet and exercise plan was "pushing yourself away from the table".