A personal rant

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13

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  • newheart22
    newheart22 Posts: 4
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    What can I say? You spoke to me directly - - - thanks a million.
  • m60kaf
    m60kaf Posts: 421 Member
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    These arguments are flawed - is it OK to punch people because some people murder people?

    Is loss of a limb better or worse than having cancer?

    Maybe there should be a rating system of hardship and you can decide what people have the right to whine about it
  • jack1925
    jack1925 Posts: 186 Member
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    I totally agree with you!!! In the last 6 years my Grandma, my mom, my cousin's Grandpa, a friend AND now a co-worker have all had cancer... I've lost 2 of them, 1 of them is fighting it twice and my co-worker will start chemo and radition on Tuesday... I myself push aside my weight issues when there are much bigger and more important things to deal with.
  • Fedup23
    Fedup23 Posts: 80 Member
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    So are these people who rant over such unimportant thing in any way affecting your friend who is dying of cancer and who doesn't complain? Sorry I don't think so, and it reminds me of being told to eat up everything on my plate as a kid because "kids are dying in India and Africa from starvation". So by eating everything, am I somehow feeding them? If I don't eat everything do I hurt them in any way? The issues are entirely unconnected and there is no direct link (and it probably did me a lot of harm by building in this urge to eat everything however big the helping is, something I am only really getting over now).

    I just hate spurious logic like this. People have every right to rant over whatever they like, regardless of what is happening to other people. I can see how you make the connection, so please, just don't read these threads, but there is no intrinsic connection.

    I Agree. We could scold the OP for being bothered by people whining on a message board while there are people with REAL problems.. but that would put us into an endless loop of complaining about how other people deal with stuff. :)
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    Good to know my non-cancer problems are insignificant.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
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    Mfp is on 2 ends of a moral scale..on one had we have a post like this and on the other, there is a thread gaining popularity about how many calories in a dead body...

    go figure.
  • lioness803
    lioness803 Posts: 325 Member
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    If I can't be sad because someone else has it worse, does that mean I can't be happy because someone else has it better?
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,672 Member
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    If I can't be sad because someone else has it worse, does that mean I can't be happy because someone else has it better?

    So true. XD

    OP, don't feel attacked. We just don't want our struggles invalidated because someone perceives other struggles as more worthy.

    All this aside, I get what you're saying and a perspective shift is important sometimes. Thanks for the reminder.
  • m60kaf
    m60kaf Posts: 421 Member
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    I do think its good to actually separate issues this connecting together of random happenings is half the problem... I eat because my friend made me depressed ... NO! you eat and your friend makes you depressed . Deal with your eating and deal with your friend they are separate

    If my friend dies of cancer that doesn't make it OK for me to be fat or bad that I whine about my bad back -- My friend died of cancer, I eat too much and my back hurts All separate.

    Take this flawed logic on and I cant do anything at all in my life because someone is dying of cancer .. Why go to the gym someone is dying of cancer somewhere?

    I think if I was dying of cancer I would like to hear everyone whines
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I get what you're saying niner...it's all about perspective. Overly dramatic people really bug me sometimes (like, OMG, I went over by 200 calories, I'm such a failure!) because they're just way too wrapped up in their own struggle and perceive it as something very traumatic. Those of us who've experienced much more in life have more perspective and have the ability to realize that these are not as big of a deal as they seem because there are much tougher things in life to have to handle.

    Example: A good friend and co-worker of mine is a breast cancer survivor. The same year that she finished up treatment, she started training for and signing up for triathalons, 25-50 mile bike races, etc. A local cancer organization was doing their annual walk/run/bike event and although I was just starting my fitness journey and could barely walk a couple miles at the time, I decided to sign up and start training to walk the full 10k. She was my biggest inspiration (and I told her as much)...I figured if she could do a 25 mile bike race at this event, I sure as hell could handle walking 10k.

    Same goes for anytime I can't find a close parking space, I remind myself that I'm lucky that I have my health and mobility and suck it up even if it's freezing out. A few minutes in the cold isn't going to kill me...

    Sorry to hear about your friend...cancer truly sucks
  • Krizzle4Rizzle
    Krizzle4Rizzle Posts: 2,704 Member
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    Thank you. I needed to read this today. I am struggling. But things could always be worse.
  • JessicaRobin67
    JessicaRobin67 Posts: 275 Member
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    I am so sorry for your friend... I just recently heard a quote that really hit home to me... "There will always be someone who is worse off but your pain (whatever it is) is real to you." Some peoples pain is excess weight... excess weight causes alot of pain. It may not be cancer or other life illnesses but it is real to many. After all, this is a support site for trying to lose weight.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
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    I lost my baby boy this past November and since then listening to people ***** about their kids, or how terrible their pregnancy is drives me ****ing crazy. It takes all I have to not rip their heads off. People are so incredibly stupid and need to be grateful for what they have. Whether it be their kids or health. Someone always has it worse.

    Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby.
  • Vickiesings
    Vickiesings Posts: 95
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    You are absolutely right! My sister is dying of ovarian cancer. She was supposed to die weeks ago but her attitude is great and she is strong of body and will. It has been an inspiration to me. Her battle has prompted me to focus on being healthy first and trying to get "hot" as secondary. Life is short. We should enjoy our life to fullest and enjoy the company of those we love.
  • bsuew
    bsuew Posts: 628 Member
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    great rant! We each need to face today as if it is our last. Because, we are not promised tomorrow. It doesn't take just a glance to look around and listen to find there are a lot of people worse off than us. We need to be thankful for today and pass the thankfullness on to others.
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
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    I am very sorry to hear about that poor woman who is losing her battle with cancer.

    That said, I don't believe in comparing hardships, with a goal of seeing who has it worse and whether or not you have a right to be struggling with whatever it is that you're struggling with. There's always someone who has it worse- by that logic, none of us (even the woman dying of cancer) would ever have the "right" to be unhappy about that struggle. While it's good to be able to step back from your worries and appreciate all the good things in your life (and sometimes seeing what someone else is going through can help provide you with some helpful perspective), that doesn't cancel out or invalidate the difficulties. And I find it a little weird that anyone would come to a site that is specifically designed to help people with their various get fit goals and then basically state that unless you're dying of cancer, you should stop whining.

    It sounds to me like you might need a break from the community on this site if the (very real) concerns and troubles these people are dealing with are not concerning or troubling enough for you.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,535 Member
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    In response to the community, as a professional I apologize if some felt offended by the rant. I spoke from emotion last night because I'm human. I was angry and sad about my friend's situation and just had to let off some steam since I really do care about her and her family.
    This DOESN'T mean that other people's hardships aren't valid. That weight loss isn't important. It is a weight loss and fitness site and people have EVERY RIGHT to speak about their troubles or hardships with it. And it really is my intention to help. So have a good day and make it count!

    Thanks for listening.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Danger2OneSelf
    Danger2OneSelf Posts: 883 Member
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    These arguments are flawed - is it OK to punch people because some people murder people?

    Is loss of a limb better or worse than having cancer?

    Maybe there should be a rating system of hardship and you can decide what people have the right to whine about it

    Thank you for laying that out for me. I really feel like people have every right to feel how they want to feel, regardless about how insignificant the situation may seem to the next....no sense of invalidating others feelings on here. This site is for support.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    I'm not a huge fan of dismissing someone's pain because someone else is suffering more.

    It's all relative.

    *shrug*

    That's all.
  • phatnotfat81
    phatnotfat81 Posts: 171
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    :heart: this post

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