I'm vegetarian, I'm not telling you what to do

redraidergirl2009

Not sure why my thread was locked (admins did not let me know!) but I think it had some good responses so I'd like to get some more. PLEASE if you want to debate factory farming or something else please don't here because I don't want this thread to get locked too!

When I say I am vegetarian why does the other person assume that I just asked them to not eat meat? I don't understand that. Or why they need to bring up how much they "love"bacon or say "mmmm burgers" as if I cannot have them? I can, I can have vegetarian ones or I can go get one made out of meat. I choose not to eat animals, its not that I can't. So I would like some insight from non-vegetarians, is this your reaction or what do you say to someone you meet and they say they are vegetarian? If that is your reaction, why? Is it threatening that someone doesn't eat animals? Or do you take ot as an opportunity to joke? Or what if your reaction is different?

Also, vegetarians what reactions do you get? How do you respond? Also have you had any flack about ordering vegetarian at a resteraunt?

Also if you bring up that "most vegetarians are pushy" please give an specific in person example or how much more often than not that is the case. This can be with any eating style, paleo, omi, vegan, ect. Not just exclusive to vegetarians.

I would like to stay specific to ethical vegetarians, not people who do so for dietary reasons.

chelseabuns88

Damn, I just replied and now I have to remember what I said again..

Basically I have loads of friends who identify as vegetarian/vegan and I couldn't care less what other people eat, at all.. but I have had some negative experiences with people who made me feel very uncomfortable for having the audacity to eat meat in their company..

Also I would find it weird if people introduced themselves to me as vegetarian, etc.. I would probably be sarcastic in response.

I believe people are too quick to accept labels instead of just being an individual who chooses not to eat meat/dairy/etc.. this tends to invite negativity from certain types of people EDIT: But can also be beneficial by uniting people with similar interests/who make similar life choices, as with many things in life!

Mokey41

Why would you need to announce you're vegetarian? I don't walk up to people and tell them I hate liver. or that I'm lactose intolerant. I won't judge you for not eating meat and you don't judge me for eating meat. Most vegetarians I've met tend to throw it in your face that THEY have made the right choice and the meat eaters are going to die and are cruel to animals.

If you don't make a big deal out of your choices I doubt anyone else cares.

cmriverside

Sometimes vegetarians remind me of Christians. Don't try to convert me and everything will go much smoother for you. Try to convert me, or try to preach to me, and you're going to get an earfull right back.


The reasons people decide to go vegetarian are private (or they should be.) If asked, that's one thing. It doesn't seem to be the case frequently. If you have a belief and you are going to talk about it - be prepared for discussions.

It's right up there with gun control and politics in the things-you-don't-bring-up-unless-you're-prepared-for-dissenting-opinions.

loosesealbluth

I think people sometimes react the way they do because they assume that every vegetarian is the type of vegetarian that forces their beliefs on everyone else and preaches about not killing animals and saving the world etc. etc. etc. So their reaction may or may not be to defend their own beliefs/eating habits because no one likes to feel judged.

I've been a vegetarian my entire life, which is to say I've never tried meat, ever. Usually when I tell people that, and that I have nothing against meat but I don't feel like trying it because I'd probably just become addicted to all the fried stuff, they back off. I still have a few friends that like to dangle meat in my face because "mmmmmm, meat!" and "you don't know what you're missing out on!" but it doesn't really phase me. I don't deny that the food is probably delicious; I just don't care to try it.

I think it mostly boils down to respecting one another's personal eating habits/beliefs/etc.

redraidergirl2009

Why would you need to announce you're vegetarian? I don't walk up to people and tell them I hate liver. or that I'm lactose intolerant. I won't judge you for not eating meat and you don't judge me for eating meat. Most vegetarians I've met tend to throw it in your face that THEY have made the right choice and the meat eaters are going to die and are cruel to animals.

If you don't make a big deal out of your choices I doubt anyone else cares.

It usually comes up at point or another when you hang out with people. I'm sure you know that food often served at social events. If you don't eat something, people start to ask questions. It's not like I meet someone and say I'm vegetarian then and there lol that's silly I've never heard of anyone doing that.

bridgelene

I'm very much a live and let live person. That would be annoying to have people do that

I don't care what people are doing really, unless it's super destructive. And even then I try to say something constructively if I am close enough to them, but not harp on it bc that doesn't do any good.

Vegetarians or anything else, that's not a big deal to me. Since you asked, I enjoy vegetarian dishes as well as meat dishes. But no skin off my back if *OTHER PEOPLE* want to eat differently than me. Why should it matter to me? Crap, I don't like celery or olives and a lot of people love them. But I'm sure that there are things I love that others don't care for

Missjulesdid

Sometimes vegetarians remind me of Christians. Don't try to convert me and everything will go much smoother for you. Try to convert me, or try to preach to me, and you're going to get an earfull right back.


The reasons people decide to go vegetarian are private (or they should be.) If asked, that's one thing. It doesn't seem to be the case frequently. If you have a belief and you are going to talk about it - be prepared for discussions.

It's right up there with gun control and politics in the things-you-don't-bring-up-unless-you're-prepared-for-dissenting-opinions.

ABSOLUTELY THIS!!!! I've had many vegetarian friends and I always do my very best to accommodate them during food events and our eating habits has not interfered with our friendships in the slightest. Unfortunately, there are crazy preachy holier than thou vegetarians out there who are so vocal and annoying that it can at times seem that THEY are the face of vegetarianism.

bridgelene

I think it mostly boils down to respecting one another's personal eating habits/beliefs/etc.

^^^ LOVE this.

monicalosesweight

It boils down to people's reactions. If you say that during a conversation with friends when you're going to pick a restaurant, then it's fine because you're just trying to find a place you can compromise on for dinner. I think people get more upset when a person says, "I won't eat there because they cook meat there and...." In other words, they criticize you for what you eat - the extremists do this sort of stuff. I'm gluten free due to a wheat allergy and so far, no one's said anything bad to me but there have been times where I turn down eating at certain places as they have nothing I can eat - like oriental. It's impossible. The soy sauces are all wheat based so it's impossible to eat at any fast food eateries that are oriental. Weird eh?

Basically, it's a matter of not making it a big deal. We all eat different foods for various reasons...as long as we don't start pushing beliefs on each other we're all fine. For example, I'm a meat eater but I've always been that way. I wouldn't expect you to say anything to me about it and we'd still get along fine. I could see us eating at Chipotle where I eat the meat bowl and you'd eat Vegan. Big deal. We just have different views.

I think the problem is when people start criticizing and making nasty comments. People need to learn that ones beliefs aren't going to change another person's. Everyone is different. The Paleo people like their food...the GMO free people eat theirs...just a matter of not being nasty to each other and learning civility.

modernfemme

Sometimes vegetarians remind me of Christians. Don't try to convert me and everything will go much smoother for you. Try to convert me, or try to preach to me, and you're going to get an earfull right back.


The reasons people decide to go vegetarian are private (or they should be.) If asked, that's one thing. It doesn't seem to be the case frequently. If you have a belief and you are going to talk about it - be prepared for discussions.

It's right up there with gun control and politics in the things-you-don't-bring-up-unless-you're-prepared-for-dissenting-opinions.

I don't think what is happening in the meat industry should be private. What is happening is also a fact . (It's not like arguing religion) But what I can say is that vegetarian isn't the way to combat the main stream meat industry. I was vegetarian, but now I just buy local and/or organic, humanely raised meat which in effect is aiming to accomplish the same thing. (If veggies thought eating animals was cruel, they would most likely convert to vegan) But whenever you call someone out or make your opinion known, yeah, you're definitely going to make people uncomfortable. It's kind of like knowing my christian friends think I'm going to hell for not believing in Jesus.

brattyworm

As with the others. Its not really a big deal. If I were throwing a party and knew a vegetarian was going to be attending I would ensure there was food choices for them as well. Thats just being considerate. My friends would not go out of their way to be difficult.
I have a friend with a sever peanut allergy, so when he comes over... there are no peanut foods. Did he ask for this? Nope. If i had made peanut foods, he wouldve gotten something else and not complained. Thats how it should be. To each his own.

sugarandspice27

I've met with a bit of a hostile response of, "Well, I eat meat, what do you think of that?" and also, some of horror, "Why would you do that?", other responses are "It's not forever". It doesn't bother me what anyone else does!! I'm not out to "convert" anyone, but if someone asks, I will tell them why I choose this lifestyle. And yes, the bacon thing comes up far, far too often. lol As if bacon is the holy grail of meat eaters, I don't know. I really don't miss it and I have meat free bacon. And people do flaunt the fact that of how much they love meat to me, which I find personally a bit disgusting but I don't say it to their face. (Just laugh and call them Flesh Breaths behind their back). lol

Some people view being vegetarian as a religion. They're dogmatic about it. It's the few of them that give the rest of us a bad name. For example, one of my favorite non-vegetarian but veg-friendly restaurants happens to be called "The Meatball House". They serve excellent vegetarian balls and great sides that I adore. I wrote a good review on Facebook on their page and some holy rolling vegetarian reamed me out saying how disgusting it is that a place glorifies meat and killing animals, etc, etc. Everyone fired back at her, including me telling her to get her head out of her *kitten*, i'm actually a vegetarian and stop making the us look bad.

I hate that the extremists always seem to be the most outspoken and distort people's opinions of us.

ArtGeek22

Also, vegetarians what reactions do you get? How do you respond? Also have you had any flack about ordering vegetarian at a resteraunt?

I recently have changed to a mostly vegan/vegetarian diet. I don't really tell people unless it comes up solely because of the social stigma. The worst I have gotten so far has to be "Your one of those weirdos? What do you have to feel bad about? They are stupid animal!" my response was "Yes, I am. How about you get gutted and see how you like it." {sarcasticly}. I was so angry about how rude he was and how he could say that. As for resteraunts, I have gotten a eyeroll or two from waitresses whenever I've sent food back because they didn't make the changes I requested. One of them actually asked me to keep it because they were sooooooo busy, and when I said I was a vegan/vegetarian she looked even more annoyed! Geesh. But it hasn't been too too bad so far. and I am really liking the lifestyle . Oh, I notice whenever that does come up, they seem to throw it in my face, which is unneeded.

chadgard

If people respond poorly to you informing them you're vegetarian, and you're truly not trying to tell them what to do, I think it's a case of misidentification of what kind of "special foodie" you are. In my experience, there are 2 types of special foodies - those who have made a choice and are happy to share their reasoning with you if you ask, but aren't going to foist their opinions and logic on you, and the zealots that feel they are morally superior and take every opportunity to try and convert you, and if that fails, to convince you of their superiority. People responding negatively to you may assume your'e the second type, when you're actually the first type.

Here's an example. I'm a locavore. I eat a wide variety of foods, but as much as is possible, I try to get all of my food locally. I also happen to own and run an organic farm/CSA as a second job, which makes that somewhat easier. I am happy to chat with folks all day about the benefits to the environment, the local economy, the nutritional value of the food, the humanity with which farm critters can be raised (and are more likely to be in a small-farm, locally geared food system), and the value of transparency in food production. But when one of my colleagues at my day job spends 45 minutes quizzing me on the qualities and health benefits of raw honey and varietal honeys and how they're produced and the plight of honeybees, then asks if we still have any honey from this year and I say yes, and he responds with "well, good, Chad. but I get my honey from (insert name of supermarket that mostly sells honey from China, which usually doesn't legally qualify to be called honey because it's adulterated by being 50%+ HFCS)," I respond with, "well, they probably have some raw honey there. You'll just have to look on the label."

Contrast that with a friend of mine who is a militant vegan. I mention we raise bees, and they really help the productivity of our garden, and she goes on a tirade about "honey - yuck! Bee Vomit!" then goes into a lecture about how queens are ripped from their cells and brutally artificially inseminated, violent, unjust, and undignified treatment that no insect should have to put up with. If I try to mention that our queens are naturally raised in our hives or come from feral swarms we've captured, and mate by flying out of the hive, finding drone bees from another hive, and mating naturally while flying (watch the Nova special - it's incredible!), that doesn't matter because somewhere bees are treated poorly. Meanwhile, she munches on an apple that likely wouldn't exist if it weren't for honeybees raised by a beekeeper somewhere...

Then she sends videos of crying calves and cows who have just been ripped apart brutally and unnaturally so the calves can be made into veal and the mother can be artificially milked, a disgusting and unnatural process that is ridiculous because no other animal drinks the milk of another species. When I mention that it is possible to produce milk without prematurely separating mom and calf, that (some) humans evolved the gene to digest milk in adulthood because it gave them an evolutionary advantage and thus that should be respected, and that we were able to save one of our crias (baby alpacas) because it was able to nurse on a friend's goat, and thus non-humans will indeed drink the milk of another species, too, she goes off on methane and nutrient runoff (I don't bother to mention that a properly managed grass-fed dairy has almost no nutrient runoff and is a negative net carbon production). Meanwhile, she wears plastic shoes, the production of which is depleting a non-renewable resource, uses massive amounts of energy, produces much pollution, and fuels unmaintainable geopolitical strife, but she's secure in her moral superiority and the knowledge that no animals (since the cretaceous period, anyway) were offended in her lifestyle.

My guess is, when people respond to you negatively when you mention being a vegetarian, they assume your'e the militant type because they've run into so many before. This could be a great opportunity to gently educate them into a more tolerant, diversity-respecting mindset. I would certainly suggest this with friends and colleagues. another suggestion, which may be appropriate for people you don't know, like a dinner meeting with potential clients or something, would be to say something like, "I really feel like something light for lunch today. X restaurant has some great vegetarian options, why don't we go there?" It's not like lying an saying you're not a vegetarian, just omitting that fact, but still ensuring you get something you can eat. Of course, if you're really hungry and want a heavy meal, you might get by with, "I'm starved. There's a great Indian buffet up the road..."

babydiego87

I eat what I want (no meat) and you eat what you want. I give no ****s.

BlueObsidian

I was a vegetarian for twelve years, and while most people really didn't care, I regularly had nasty comments from people when they found out. They just could not understand why I didn't want a hamburger. When I went back to eating meat, I had vegans who would see me eat something with meat and immediately started telling me what a terrible person I am.

Judgmental people are judgmental. It's not about what their particular diet choices are, it's about the fact that people like that think that anyone who thinks differently from them is wrong. These people aren't worth the energy. I respond with something like "uh-huh" or "that's nice" and change the subject.

squirrelzzrule22

I'll summarize it this way: my meat eating friends and I will always ensure there is something for our vegetarian friend to eat when we cook or go out. Conversely, if the vegetarian friend is making the plan or hosting, she would never ensure there is meat where we go, instead would take us to a veggie only place or only cook vegetarian things rather than considering both herself and the alternative eating lifestyle, as we would do for her. Though she is a dear friend I think this aptly summarizes the way vegetarians feel superior and want to foist their lifestyle upon you even when they claim not to. She is always quick to say "oh of course I don't care if you eat meat....(insert mumbled comment about how she just 'disagrees' because its unhealthy unnatural and cruel..." That is NOT being accepting.

Contrarian

When the moderators shut down a thread, it is generally a bad idea to start the thread again.

redraidergirl2009

When the moderators shut down a thread, it is generally a bad idea to start the thread again.

I would like to know why it was shut down in the first place since I didn't see it violating any rules and when they locked it they did not cite a reason.

sPaRkLiNgLYFE

i have no judgment about what anybody eats, i've known people to lose a lot of weight cutting meat from their diet.

poedunk65

I get the same thing. I think people take eating way too seriously.

PikaKnight

When the moderators shut down a thread, it is generally a bad idea to start the thread again.

I would like to know why it was shut down in the first place since I didn't see it violating any rules and when they locked it they did not cite a reason.

That's probably something you should message a mod about. But..overall...if you eat meat, cool. If you don't...cool. Live on.

AllTehBeers

Sometimes vegetarians remind me of Christians. Don't try to convert me and everything will go much smoother for you. Try to convert me, or try to preach to me, and you're going to get an earfull right back.


The reasons people decide to go vegetarian are private (or they should be.) If asked, that's one thing. It doesn't seem to be the case frequently. If you have a belief and you are going to talk about it - be prepared for discussions.

It's right up there with gun control and politics in the things-you-don't-bring-up-unless-you're-prepared-for-dissenting-opinions.

I don't think what is happening in the meat industry should be private. What is happening is also a fact . (It's not like arguing religion) But what I can say is that vegetarian isn't the way to combat the main stream meat industry. I was vegetarian, but now I just buy local and/or organic, humanely raised meat which in effect is aiming to accomplish the same thing. (If veggies thought eating animals was cruel, they would most likely convert to vegan) But whenever you call someone out or make your opinion known, yeah, you're definitely going to make people uncomfortable. It's kind of like knowing my christian friends think I'm going to hell for not believing in Jesus.

This is probably the reason your thread got locked.

The OP wanted to know about people and reactions, not get a lecture on the meat industry.

This post is a violation because it gets off topic.

DaughterOfTheMostHighKing

people are people. if they are pushy they'd be pushy no matter what they practice. I'm a christian who eats whatever... lol! I don't push my faith on anyone who's not interested. If you ask questions be prepared for an answer. you don't ask I don't tell... lol! have a great day being who you are!

mudonthetires856

My issues are not with vegetarians as I will try to accommodate them if I'm having dinner at my house for friends. My issue lies only with those that are hostile with me over my food choices. We should all be respectful of each others lifestyles. There was a time when I was having a discussion about opening up a dog rescue and the first thing said to me was that if I eat meat, then I can't be trusted around animals. Needless to say, that person has not been in my life since then.

BunkyBumBum

Honestly, I've been a vegetarian 20+ years and many people I know have no idea. A friend I've known for about 7 years just recently got a hint based on a facebook post I made and asked me, "Are you a vegetarian?" I don't talk about it, unless I'm out to lunch with someone, or somewhere that I might be looking at my options for food (and much of the time I manage to choose something or have it modified and the person I'm with never notices).

I just don't see the need to talk about it with people, I don't hide the fact, I'm quite open with it if it comes up, but I never find myself coming out and saying, "I'm a vegetarian so I'm going to choose this". I just choose it and that's that. If I'm at a party and there are no vegetarian options (first, I usually eat beforehand knowing this is a possibility) I just make it work, I've had entire dinners consisting of the veggie tray and crackers. The last thing I want to do is point out to my host that they are not accommodating my dietary choices, that seems really ungracious.

So, I haven't really gotten any really obnoxious comments or anything, I don't debate it with people, it's a personal choice (my son is 5 and not a vegetarian, he has the option of choosing the vegetarian dish I prepare or the meat dish I prepare for my husband, and he knows his meat comes from animals and that we don't waste because an animal gave its life for us, but that's it). When he's older he can choose for himself based on his own free thinking, but I'm not going to try to force my choice on him because I want him to grow to understand the value of thinking and making decisions for yourself. My husband's grandmother was obnoxious about it, (she made a pasta salad with crab once and was forcefully trying to offer me some so I had to politely decline), but it was in an "Oh, you ordered the veggie burger, I'm going to get that too," she would ALWAYS wait for me to order and then order the exact same thing, which was just plain weird, but I never said anything to her about it.

Cameronie

I'll summarize it this way: my meat eating friends and I will always ensure there is something for our vegetarian friend to eat when we cook or go out. Conversely, if the vegetarian friend is making the plan or hosting, she would never ensure there is meat where we go, instead would take us to a veggie only place or only cook vegetarian things rather than considering both herself and the alternative eating lifestyle, as we would do for her. Though she is a dear friend I think this aptly summarizes the way vegetarians feel superior and want to foist their lifestyle upon you even when they claim not to. She is always quick to say "oh of course I don't care if you eat meat....(insert mumbled comment about how she just 'disagrees' because its unhealthy unnatural and cruel..." That is NOT being accepting.

There are places that don't have anything for a vegetarian/vegan to eat. So that's nice that you'll find some place that has a couple of things she could order....

As for your complaints.... When she takes you to a Vegetarian restaurant.... You still have 100% of the menu to choose from. What's the problem? You're kind of sounding like, all you eat is meat and you can't eat anything from a plant.

veggieshark

My boyfriend finds it really funny to shove ribs in my face and tell me to smell them, but other than that he's supportive.
My whole household is at least pseudo-vegetarian, me being the only actual vegetarian, so I don't get much crap for it here.

veggieshark

I'll summarize it this way: my meat eating friends and I will always ensure there is something for our vegetarian friend to eat when we cook or go out. Conversely, if the vegetarian friend is making the plan or hosting, she would never ensure there is meat where we go, instead would take us to a veggie only place or only cook vegetarian things rather than considering both herself and the alternative eating lifestyle, as we would do for her. Though she is a dear friend I think this aptly summarizes the way vegetarians feel superior and want to foist their lifestyle upon you even when they claim not to. She is always quick to say "oh of course I don't care if you eat meat....(insert mumbled comment about how she just 'disagrees' because its unhealthy unnatural and cruel..." That is NOT being accepting.

Hi there. Well, I'm a vegetarian and I know that the vast majority of restaurants serve meat, so I'm never really worried about where I take my meat-eating friends as long as I know it's not too hard for me to eat there. Someone who eats meat can eat 100% of what's on any menu, youknow? (providing they don't have some other sort of special diet like gluten-free, lactose-free, etc) I normally pick a compromise place like Panera Bread or Moe's Southwest Grill--both excellent sources of veggie food and meat. But maybe if your veggie friend bring you to an all vegan/vegetarian restaurant it's just because they think it's cool and want a friend to share their cool niche restaurant with. After all, you can have anything on that menu.

As for going to their house, while I'm sure it'd be nice if your vegetarian friend ordered a pizza with part-meat on it, you can't expect them to feel comfortable preparing a meat dish and touching the dead animal themselves. It makes some vegetarians sick and just is uncomfortable. Come on now, you can't visit a Hindu and complain when you don't get steak for dinner.

ArtGeek22

Bump, because this is an interesting topic....