I'm vegetarian, I'm not telling you what to do
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Sadly, it's just human nature to think that everything is about them. They hear a statement that has nothing to do with them whatsoever and they take is some kind of affront. Like posters who come on this board that want to lose 40 lbs and announce that they feel fat and disgusting...it's usually met with with protests of "But I'm bigger than you - so you're saying I'm disgusting???". Um no, no one was talking about you.
Anyway, I wish there was some kind of snappy comeback but I was a vegetarian for a couple of years and it's just part of it. As for the people who immediately start in with the "Mmmm bacon" taunting stuff, I was always tempted to wait until they took a bite of something and then give them a little factoid about their meal, like "Hey - did you know that veal calves are kept in tiny, filthy containers where they can't move so they won't build muscles, and are kept anemic so their flesh will be white, and are then often skinned alive? Yeah, their short lives are nothing but misery. Enjoy". But saying something like that would make me just as bad as the taunters, so I refrained.0 -
I'll summarize it this way: my meat eating friends and I will always ensure there is something for our vegetarian friend to eat when we cook or go out. Conversely, if the vegetarian friend is making the plan or hosting, she would never ensure there is meat where we go, instead would take us to a veggie only place or only cook vegetarian things rather than considering both herself and the alternative eating lifestyle, as we would do for her. Though she is a dear friend I think this aptly summarizes the way vegetarians feel superior and want to foist their lifestyle upon you even when they claim not to. She is always quick to say "oh of course I don't care if you eat meat....(insert mumbled comment about how she just 'disagrees' because its unhealthy unnatural and cruel..." That is NOT being accepting.
I dont care if my friends eat meat - my boyfriend eats meat and my whole family apart from my mum eats meat. However if i am cooking for everyone I will make vegetarian food - not because i am trying to force my beliefs on them but because I dont agree with the morals behind it so therefore i am not going to be involved in preparing a meat dish. If they want to to make something of their own and eat that instead i dont mind, I'm just not going to do it0 -
Not sure why my thread was locked (admins did not let me know!) but I think it had some good responses so I'd like to get some more. PLEASE if you want to debate factory farming or something else please don't here because I don't want this thread to get locked too!
When I say I am vegetarian why does the other person assume that I just asked them to not eat meat? I don't understand that. Or why they need to bring up how much they "love"bacon or say "mmmm burgers" as if I cannot have them? I can, I can have vegetarian ones or I can go get one made out of meat. I choose not to eat animals, its not that I can't. So I would like some insight from non-vegetarians, is this your reaction or what do you say to someone you meet and they say they are vegetarian? If that is your reaction, why? Is it threatening that someone doesn't eat animals? Or do you take ot as an opportunity to joke? Or what if your reaction is different?
Also, vegetarians what reactions do you get? How do you respond? Also have you had any flack about ordering vegetarian at a resteraunt?
Also if you bring up that "most vegetarians are pushy" please give an specific in person example or how much more often than not that is the case. This can be with any eating style, paleo, omi, vegan, ect. Not just exclusive to vegetarians.
I would like to stay specific to ethical vegetarians, not people who do so for dietary reasons.
I have felt as though people expect me to defend my choices and prove to them why I think I am right and they are wrong. I don't. I do what I want to do. I don't care what other people choose to eat. I don't care what people think of my choices. Most people feel threatened when your choices are different to theirs (not just in food) because they see it as a judgement as though you think what they are doing is wrong. They get defensive because you are not the same as them and don't want to be, and don't seek anyone's approval. As the poster above said, people think everything is about them. How would I know what you should do? Its enough work looking after myself.
Anyone who nags other people about what they choose to do is annoying whether you eat meat or not, paint your face green, wear beige trousers, like plants, hate clowns. Its no one else's business - shut the hell up!
Also people in restaurants who make a big deal out of things like being vegetarian, without looking at the menu they have to make it clear to the waiter 'I'm a vegetarian' in slow talk for idiots as if they are sooo special and important that the whole kitchen will stop and focus on creating a unique tailored meal just for them. Just look at the menu, and if there's nothing there, just have veg and potatoes and don't go there again!0 -
As long as you don't care that I eat meat, I don't care that you don't.0
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True vegetarians I've met IRL have not been any of the "stereotypes" that make you roll your eyes. I've got several on my friends and some I didn't even know that where until they told me.
The highest level of diet shaming and holier than though art peeps seems to come more from a minority of outspoken vegans and paleo followers. And then, most aren't really that bad, just a small to medium air of condescension when discussing food and nutrition/health topics.
I don't appreciate any talk of what is and isn't "moral" about food choices. That gets annoying quickly. It also brings a topic to a personal level and away from topics at hand.0 -
i said i changed my diet to a clean organic vegetarian, the second, the people who eat bad start criticizing me that that is not the way to live and don't you wanna eat unhealthy food and just get stuffed? also that its UNHEALTHY to be so concerned about food and in general you should allow yourself to eat somethings, because if i don't im just crazy. this was when i went with my friends to a super market, got organic rice crackers, spinach some soy milk and other products......
did i tell them to change? no
did i even say anything about the things they bought? no
they got their panties in a knot about nothing. its my choice to eat healthy, there is no reason to put me down and make me feel bad about myself and discourage me. just because they watch what they eat sometimes and other times they eat whatever doesnt make them bad eaters....
i just need more stability in my life and a rigorous lifestyle that i know i will get the best out of. im not a bad person.
(edit)
PS. i didn't go vegetarian because i hate meat or killing animals, i just did it because i don't eat a lot of meat in general, it was no problem for me to switch a diet, sometimes ill have a small piece if my bf will eat it, but i just wanted to try something new in my life.0 -
I am not a vegetarian but I do have friends who are for a few different reasons and it's never been a problem. They are not preachy to me in any way. They are very easy to compromise on restaurants with (although I also have no problems with going to vegetarian/vegan restaurants.) I've learned to cook for them but it also introduced me to a lot of new foods that I now eat regularly (like chick peas and other legumes.)
My reaction when some one tells me they are vegetarian (usually comes up with topic of food/where to eat) I just suggest an acceptable place to eat (when I'm in a city - as I live rurally) or I say no problem lets just go to the store and make sure we pick up something we can make for all of us.
I have met vegetarians who are pushy and I think that's where people get attitude back saying all the things about meat. I mean I usually ask "don't you miss it?" but more out of curiosity because while I would have no problem being a vegetarian (love the food and the health benefits) I think I would miss meat, check that I know I would.
I think the problem is people judge by their experience with the vegetarians they've met and the stereotype that has somehow come to be of them. Not by each new individual, which is how they should.0 -
I'm a vegetarian, but I happily cook meat for other people, our diets are our own choice.
I don't get angry at being criticised, but sometimes I get BORED of having the same conversations over and over if I eat in front of people.
What's that?
Why?
But what about bacon?
Don't you miss steak?
I had a vegetarian meal once, but I wasn't full and felt like something was missing...
Change the record!0 -
the vegetarians get to eat first at conferences, lol well, the ones i go to, i always say, "I'll be a vegetarian today."
if someone chooses not to eat meat, then great, but I'll never agree with the idea that animals shouldn't be eaten. I believe we can consume to much of it which is what ails us as a country, but just in general, I'll always believe animals are here for our eating pleasure.
I would not tease a vegetarian though, I admire those who take on certain eating habits then stick to them despite opposition0 -
" I am a Vegetarian, and you all carnivores will burn in HELL." --- Quote from a vegetarian, unknown.0
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Todd's Vegan. It's not a big deal.0
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I used to have people, men especially (no offense) have a go at me when they found out I don't eat meat. Queue massive lecture on how I'm all wrong and why I should eat meat. No health reasons involved, just that they eat meat, so I should? It got to the point where I just didn't bother telling people unless I knew them. (yeah, good idea putting it on a public forum, right! lol)
I don't get it. It doesn't affect them in any way, shape or form, and I don't tell other people stop eating meat, so why feel the need to demand it of me?
Just say I don't lecture you about eating meat, so don't lecture me about not eating meat! That soon shuts them up. They get all defensive suddenly...0 -
To this, I will add....I just don't eat meat. If I am at a function, let's say, and there is chicken or beef being served, I will simply quietly ask for a non-meat option. I will eat fish, so I am not a total vegetarian. It's easier for me to avoid labels and just say I am making choices - I choose not to eat meat, I choose not to eat wheat. Sometimes people make a big deal of it, but for the most part, people are respectful. I'm certainly not telling anyone else what to eat, either.0
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I'm a long term vegetarian. Most of the people in my cipher already know and are so used to it that it's not a big deal anymore.
What I dislike are when people find out and then threat me like some kind of freak and want to challenge me. I have been eating like this for 14 years. that statement is usually enough to push folks back. Since their argument is it will kill you and since I'm not dead, that argument doesn't fly.
But I don't preach it. Either you do or you don't. I have witnessed people who eat like I do and get sick. I have witnessed people who eat raw vegan and have amazing health, and so forth. It's all about the individual. And everything ain't for everybody.0 -
I just read some of the other posts and I don't think people realise that sometimes it can't be helped that it comes up. I don't normally tell anybody that i'm veggie. It's other people that I know who bring it up.
So for instance, people saying I tried kangeroo or crocodile and then a friend or colleague says don't tell her that she's vegetarian, as if I find the subject totally offensive.
The only other time it comes up is at a restaurant with say some friends and they invite people I don't know - they notice I only order vegetarian items and start questioning and/or lecturing.0 -
I used to have people, men especially (no offense) have a go at me when they found out I don't eat meat. Queue massive lecture on how I'm all wrong and why I should eat meat. No health reasons involved, just that they eat meat, so I should? It got to the point where I just didn't bother telling people unless I knew them. (yeah, good idea putting it on a public forum, right! lol)
I don't get it. It doesn't affect them in any way, shape or form, and I don't tell other people stop eating meat, so why feel the need to demand it of me?
Just say I don't lecture you about eating meat, so don't lecture me about not eating meat! That soon shuts them up. They get all defensive suddenly...
This is exactly what I wanted to say but scrambled it all up somehow.0 -
I started eating vegetarian about a month and half ago...it was not because of animals being killed...it was because i was haveing some stomach issues and cutting out meat made me feel better...i dont care if you eat meat...as you should not care if i dont eat meat...my biggest hecklers would be my hubby and boys...they just dont understand nor do they need to...i still cook meat for them and im not opposed to meat...i just dont feel good when i eat it.0
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I get those reactions, too. And it always comes from people asking me direct questions about it.
I think people who react this way don't feel so great about their choice. Otherwise it wouldn't bother them.0 -
I can't stand it when people use their food choices as some sort of high horse from which they look down on others. There are a whole lot of people who are very devoted to dietary dogma and will do this. Vegetarians, vegans, raw vegans, paleo, primal, low carb, keto, "clean", whatever. If you are someone who feels the need to tell everyone about your food choices, especially when they didn't ask in the first place, you are totally annoying to me.
Likewise, if you are a judgy weirdo because you think your diet is somehow far superior to someone else's, you are totally annoying to me.
If you view what you eat as your "lifestyle" and feel like you need to be vocal about that weirdness, we're probably not gonna get along.0 -
I'm a vegetarian, and only rarely come across people who feel they should be jerks about it, trying to push meat in my face etc. Those people aren't worth my time, and would like rag on anyone for just about anything that isn't exactly the same choices they make.
Most people respect my choice, and are fairly accommodating. When we go somewhere for dinner, I always offer to bring a dish so they don't have to go out of their way for me. When we go out, I can almost always find something suitable for me to eat. If asked, I will recommend a few places where I know I can get something I like, however I don't push the issue. Worst case scenario, I get a salad and eat a snack later on.
I have lived with meat eaters my entire life and it doesn't bother me, it's their choice. I even cook meat for my boyfriend or we have guests. If people ask, I'm happy to educate. But I don't go around preaching about it. I am by no means superior than anyone else.
A few pushy vegetarians/vegans give the rest of us a bad name.0 -
I certainly wouldn't think I eat 'better' than anyone else just because I am vegetarian. I doubled my calorie intake on a recent break from here by eating toffees and crisps every day! People do sometimes think vegetarian diet is automatically 'healthy'. Haha not necessarily, most junk food is meat free or can be meat free.0
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Typical converasation back when I was a vegetarian:
Person: Why don't you ever just have a burger?
Me: I'm a vegetarian, so I usually just bring my own sandwich for lunch since there isn't a lot of fast food I can eat.
Person: LOL YOU'RE A VEGETARIAN, OH GOD I LOVE MEAT SO MUCH WGAGGGZG /starts chewing with mouth open, making slurping sounds
Wtf, honestly. I'm an omnivore now but I sympathize for sure. People need to learn to live and let live as far as food choices.0 -
I'm a vegetarian, and only rarely come across people who feel they should be jerks about it, trying to push meat in my face etc. Those people aren't worth my time, and would like rag on anyone for just about anything that isn't exactly the same choices they make.
Most people respect my choice, and are fairly accommodating. When we go somewhere for dinner, I always offer to bring a dish so they don't have to go out of their way for me. When we go out, I can almost always find something suitable for me to eat. If asked, I will recommend a few places where I know I can get something I like, however I don't push the issue. Worst case scenario, I get a salad and eat a snack later on.
I have lived with meat eaters my entire life and it doesn't bother me, it's their choice. I even cook meat for my boyfriend or we have guests. If people ask, I'm happy to educate. But I don't go around preaching about it. I am by no means superior than anyone else.
A few pushy vegetarians/vegans give the rest of us a bad name.
This! I have yet to get hounded because I have choosen to be a vegetarian.
When I first made the switch I didn't go around telling everyone... and even now that it's been a year I only tell people if they ask, if it comes up in conversation or if they are offering me meat.
My In Laws asked about it when I first made the switch. My husband mentioned it to them because we eat a fair amount of meals at their house. He also mentioned to them, as did I, that I would bring a dish for myself so it wouldn't put them out by having to make something else. They have been great about it and always have something for me to eat when we are there for dinner (they refuse to let me bring my own food). They asked about it the first time I was there... and do every now and again. They were more curious than anything as they don't know anyone who is a vegetarian. THey have all eaten meat their whole lives so they were curious about what I would and wouldn't eat. THey thought it was more of a vegan lifestyle at first as they asked if I still ate dairy, eggs, etc.
I still cook meat in my house. It's my choice to be a vegetarian. My husband still eats meat which I still cook for him. I don't mind cooking it. I would prefer not to but he wants to still eat meat so I will cook it for him. I don't mind being around people who are eating meat and have yet to have someone taunt me about not eating meat. I still make meat if we have people over for dinner.
I've had comments now and again about "don't you miss bacon" or what do you eat when you go out... but I don't let it bother me. ONe thing I hate is that a lot of regular restaurants, at least around me, don't have many vegetarian options. I'm not going to order a processed, frozen veggie burger when I go out and sometimes I don't want a salad. I'm glad I have found a few restaurants who are very helpful with different needs.
Ultimately, I don't like when people push any form of diet on someone. You have your beliefs, and I have mine. My diet isn't better than yours and yours isn't better than mine. You can be very heatlhy whether you eat meat, are vegetarian, or vegan. The worst comment I had so far was one friend kept trying to tell me I could still eat chicken even though I was a vegetarian. No one diet is better for you. Sure, there are benefits of various diets out there but one is not better than another.0 -
I am a meat eater, and love it!
Growing up one of my aunts ate meat, but really just enough to make my grandmother happy. She always just prefered non-meat foods... once she moved on her own she has become a vegetarian. She does do eggs, cheese and seafood, just not beef, chicken or pork. So to me when someone is a vegetarian I assume that they didn't care for meat.
On the other hand, if someone is doing it because they don't like how farms are run, or because they feel meat is unhealthy I feel that is their choice. In my experience the vegetarians that are pushy are the ones that are really not vegetarians, are just doing it for some attention. Then I choose to ignore them...
For those that want to push being a vegetarian down my throat, I move on... For those that are meat eaters and want to push their beliefs down others throats, I hope they move on.... The best part of choice is just that! If you choose to be a vegetarian or a meat eater, good on ya... don't try to shove it down someone else's throat, and don't be nasty about what someone else has chosen to do... just move on and do you :drinker:0 -
I'm a vegetarian also and I totally get what you are saying. The response I have received in the past has been more out of fear or ignorance to the vegetarian lifestyle I believe. I dont think some people understand it and I think they believe that you are going to tell them that they shouldnt eat meat.0
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We used to have christmas at my house every year, and they(my cousins/aunt/uncle) knew that we made a beef roast. So one year they were coming over like normal, we made the beef, sat down to the serve the meal, and my uncle goes, Oh, didn't you know, we're vegetarians/vegans now and don't eat meat. Um what?! We just spent all this time and money on making this meal, and your not going to eat it, and essinatly waste all this food because there is no way 3 people can eat a 20 pound beef roast by themselves.
So moral of my story is, eat what you want, but give people a heads up so that they don't waste time and effort on making food that you won't eat.0 -
Quote: "I have felt as though people expect me to defend my choices and prove to them why I think I am right and they are wrong. I don't. I do what I want to do. I don't care what other people choose to eat. I don't care what people think of my choices. Most people feel threatened when your choices are different to theirs (not just in food) because they see it as a judgement as though you think what they are doing is wrong. They get defensive because you are not the same as them and don't want to be, and don't seek anyone's approval. As the poster above said, people think everything is about them. How would I know what you should do? Its enough work looking after myself.
Anyone who nags other people about what they choose to do is annoying whether you eat meat or not, paint your face green, wear beige trousers, like plants, hate clowns. Its no one else's business - shut the hell up!"
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This. People feel the implied judgement from your decision not to eat meat. Whether you do it for better health or conscientious objection, etc. that unspoken implication is there. You can say that you don't care what other people eat, but then you give the caveat "but I wouldn't eat it". I haven't eaten meat (only fish) for 7 years, and I try to be very sensitive to this. Hey, it's America, we can all eat whatever the heck we want, and we are lucky to have the choices we have.0 -
I've been a vegetarian for quite some time and people have gotten much nicer about it.
The standard reaction used to be: "I couldn't do without meat." Now it's: "I don't eat meat all that often either. During the week at home we often have fish or a meatless day."
Don't know if it is relevant: I'm from Western Europe.0 -
Honestly, I feel that there are a lot of vegetarians, clean eaters, etc., tend to look down on people that don't eat like them. Definitely not all of them do, but the ones who are jerks are the loudest. When someone tells me they're a vegetarian, my first impression is that I'm impressed with their willpower/social conscience/whatever, but there are a lot that tend to get uppity, and they tarnish the general thought of "vegetarians" in the minds of us meat eaters.0
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I'll summarize it this way: my meat eating friends and I will always ensure there is something for our vegetarian friend to eat when we cook or go out. Conversely, if the vegetarian friend is making the plan or hosting, she would never ensure there is meat where we go, instead would take us to a veggie only place or only cook vegetarian things rather than considering both herself and the alternative eating lifestyle, as we would do for her. Though she is a dear friend I think this aptly summarizes the way vegetarians feel superior and want to foist their lifestyle upon you even when they claim not to. She is always quick to say "oh of course I don't care if you eat meat....(insert mumbled comment about how she just 'disagrees' because its unhealthy unnatural and cruel..." That is NOT being accepting.
It seems like you are assuming all vegetarians are like your friend. Not all vegetarians feel superior or that their lifestyle is better than someone elses.
Do you realize how hard it can be to find a decent vegetarian meal at most restaurants? At least those around me your options are a salad (which you have to ask for no meat because they always include it and don't alter the price... $13 for a freakin salad) or a frozen, processed and horrible tasting veggie burger. And when people make food at home for a vegetarian they are far too often just picking up some terrible veggie burger... one reason why I will always offer to bring a meal or my own food.0
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