Feel so unattractive

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  • SloRunner25
    SloRunner25 Posts: 89 Member
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    I'm fat, have a 13-14 minute miles and I'm running a 5K in April. Do people think I'm probably a joke? Sure. Do I let it bother me. Sometimes. But I feel better getting out there and making an effort and being able to say I finished is what matters most. Not the damn time or what the other competitors are doing. My father has been running marathons since he was my age and my younger sister did track and runs a 7 minute mile. I'm living in 2 pretty big shadows.

    What it comes down to is this: If you want to run a 5K then DO IT. You're talking to a lady who has horrible self image, self-esteem and has been through multiple psychs and multiple meds. Running is what saves me from myself and while I try to improve as much as possible, nothing beats to feeling of accomplishment at the end of a workout no matter how well or badly it may have went. Being positive and changing the way you look at things is hard but it needs to be done. Also, there is no shame in a run-walk program. You have to start somewhere.

    Good luck, positive thinking, and godspeed. :flowerforyou:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I think you should take up gymnastics. Would you like that? Gymnastics? I think it would be fun and you wouldn't be competing with your wife.

    Also, you could become really good at cartwheels, and if anyone ever gave you any lip, you could just do a cartwheel and then say "Ta-dah, mother****er!"
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    I think you should take up gymnastics. Would you like that? Gymnastics? I think it would be fun and you wouldn't be competing with your wife.

    Also, you could become really good at cartwheels, and if anyone ever gave you any lip, you could just do a cartwheel and then say "Ta-dah, mother****er!"

    I LOLED SO HARD.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Hey OP

    I was being insensitive earlier. I'm sorry.

    What I really think the problem is the running.

    I mean it's . . . . you know . . . . for girls.

    I bet if you started lifting like a man you'd feel good in no time.

    :flowerforyou:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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  • ttiiggzz
    ttiiggzz Posts: 154 Member
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    The real secret to the whole thing is to stop pinning your self-worth on the perceptions of others, because they will never fail to disappoint.

    This. I have to remind myself of this A LOT.

    Find what form of exercise you enjoy the best, and don't compare yourself to your wife, or others.
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
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    I run faster than my husband. I find him attractive but admit I find him even more attractive when he is trying than when is not trying for fear of failing. He decides to do races and makes excuses to not train then does crappy in the race...I do not find that part about him attractive BUT if he is trying,even if it is snail pace I think he is sexy as hell.
  • NYactor1
    NYactor1 Posts: 9,642 Member
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    The OP seems to have solid fishing skillz...
  • majope
    majope Posts: 1,325 Member
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    You know what's attractive? A man showing up for his wife's races and cheering her on whole-heartedly from the sidelines. Bonus points for "Go, sweetie, go!" sign, or even just nudging nearby spectators when you see her and yelling, "That's my wife!"

    My husband is a runner, but he hates trail races. I love trail races. He came to one of mine to cheer me on and ended up volunteering at the water station. Just about brought tears to my eyes that he took the effort--and I guarantee you, other women whose husbands slept in at home that morning were jealous.
  • jamesjamesonil
    jamesjamesonil Posts: 92
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    I am a serious runner and my first impression of you is ... Dayummm! The last sentiment you should be feeling is unattractive. The snippet is hot! We gals don't need a heck of a whole lot to get us going.Having said that, I am certain the women who run with your wife don't perceive you any less than she does, just because you're not a runner at their level. I wouldn't mind if my man runs or not; I'd much prefer he doesn't. Running is my free time; My me time. He can be on his bike if he needs to come along. Where I am the men drive ahead or drive along and we women tend to dominate the running tracks. It's not to say that we don't think it's sweet when a boyfriend or a hubby attempts the route(s) and tries to keep up. Oddly those of us who aren't intimate with them are more sensitive to an injury they may sustain and will actually slow down the core-group to run with or even walk. Men out here use "the outdoor gyms" - the actual and the impromptu, as their avenues of keeping abreast with their wives/women during the workout. Or cuter still - they walk the dogs.

    First of all, congratulations on your tremendous results! 151 pounds? Damn - that's awesome!

    And, thank you for the kind words. My wife has said a few times in passing that she would like me to run with her. But, I feel I'd slow her down. And, I'd rather not. What you described is how she sees running anyway - it's "me time" or "gal pals time". What today's run reinforced is that life is too short to spend on doing things you don't like that much.

    I'll happily spend the summer at the golf course stinkin' it up. As long as I find more golf balls than I lose, it's a good day!
  • jamesjamesonil
    jamesjamesonil Posts: 92
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    The OP seems to have solid fishing skillz...

    Your writing skills, however, are anything but solid.

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