Why do people say "you need to stop losing weight?"

Inshape13
Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So I changed my lifestyle a little over a year ago and eat very healthy and exercise alot now so I have lost alot of weight. Lately though I keep getting the "you need to stop losing weight, you have lost enough". I don't think It is being said in a malicious way, but it is annoying to me that other people think they need to say what I should weigh.

I started at a size 20 and wear a 6/8 now so it is very noticable that I am quite smaller, but I am in no way too small.....I am just looking to firm up that last bit of loose skin and firm the belly. It would be awesome to get to an even 100lb loss. Why can't people just be supportive and not throw the opinions out every time I see them? Anyone else in the same boat?
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Replies

  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
    Haters gonna hate.
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    Mostly they are jealous. Though in all honesty, I don't think exercise or weight loss will do much about the skin. I have some too.
  • sandobr1
    sandobr1 Posts: 319 Member
    Because people's idea of what healthy weight looks like is way off as they look around at the masses of overweight people around them. I am still a good 18 pounds ABOVE what my "normal" range should be and get the your getting too thin comments as well. I think some think this line of conversation is a compliment, I think it is annoying and rude that they have no clue of the work and commitment it can take.
  • SylLab
    SylLab Posts: 22 Member
    They are jealous that they do not take the time and hard effort to loose the weight!
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Because people's idea of what healthy weight looks like is way off as they look around at the masses of overweight people around them. I am still a good 18 pounds ABOVE what my "normal" range should be and get the your getting too thin comments as well. I think some think this line of conversation is a compliment, I think it is annoying and rude that they have no clue of the work and commitment it can take.

    This. When your normal is so skewed, someone who is "healthy" looks too small.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    There are a lot of reasons people do this. They are just trying to be nice and say you look lovely the way you are. They honestly think you are takin g weight loss to an extreme. The shock of a big weight loss can make you look smaller by comparison than you really are. Catty jealous b****es that would rather you gained the weight back so they'd feel better about themselve.

    Just give them a smile, say thanks, and do what makes you happy. You don't owe them an explantion.
  • Fr3shStrt
    Fr3shStrt Posts: 349 Member
    I think when people who are used to you being a certain way see you much smaller they just aren't used to it so they think it is wrong. It happened to me a few years ago, and I only lost about 25 lbs I was still far from slender by any stretch (I think I was around 150 and 5'3"). My grandmother took one look at me and said "You're not going to lose any more weight are you" as if I lost one more pound I'd shrink away and disappear. So, just give your people time to get used to the new you.
  • sandradev1
    sandradev1 Posts: 786 Member
    In my experience...............always jealous :laugh:
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
    Almost always, because they are a mess. Once someone was crazy enough to say it to me, and I replied: "You ought to have higher expectations for both of us."
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    Because they are jelly
  • Yeller_Sensation
    Yeller_Sensation Posts: 373 Member
    In very recent history, a couple of people told me something similar.

    My response: "Because I can."

    End of conversation.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    It can depend...I have no idea what you weigh, but it's possible that you do not really need to lose more. A lot of people have body issues stemming from their fatter days...so they never really see the skinny person in the mirror...they just see the fat. Personally, if you just need to firm up, etc I'd stop actively dieting and focus on resistance training. A lot of people get to a good weight, but they are unhappy with body composition...so they strive to lose more and more and more. In which case, it can be too much if people push it too far...resistance training is the only way to change body comp.

    Conversely, a lot of people around us have no concept of "healthy" BF%, etc. I've had more than my fair share of people telling me that I should stop losing weight...though I'm not even at a healthy BF% yet and still considered overweight with my current BF%. Overweight and obese have become norms, so someone who is lean and at a healthy BF% is often perceived as being too skinny or whatever. Basically, people's perceptions become skewed.
  • Justkeepswimmin
    Justkeepswimmin Posts: 777 Member
    I don't know, it annoys me too. This weekend I visited my grandma, she saw me and said I shouldn't lose more weight. Then she spent half the weekend asking if I ever stopped eating LMAO I tried to explain but it didn't work out :)
  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
    People get jealous.
  • stargazer008
    stargazer008 Posts: 531
    Most people do not like change.
  • MsJackson5
    MsJackson5 Posts: 9
    use those haters as MOTIVATORS..... u got a 2nd phase to do!:)
  • GymBeast2
    GymBeast2 Posts: 81
    In very recent history, a couple of people told me something similar.

    My response: "Because I can."

    End of conversation.


    ^^^^^^^
    this
  • Katacheese
    Katacheese Posts: 112 Member
    I get this too. It could be that they don't see you naked so they don't see the work you still feel you have to do. It could also be that the change is very disconcerting for them if they haven't seen you in a while. It could also be that they really think you look great which is a compliment, or sadly they could be jealous of your loss and are trying to sabotague you.
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    I posted a picture in a tank top on Facebook and got the opposite of "Fat Shaming".. people were saying that I need to put on weight and that I looked skeletal.... I am sooo not underweight.. I am firmly in the healthy range for BF% and am actively looking to lose a few more % points.....

    It took me for a bit of a loop and then I got over it. I'm healthy and fit and they don't have to live in my body.... so whatever....
  • doubleduofa
    doubleduofa Posts: 284 Member
    I think it's something that people say to acknowledge your weight loss. I actually think it is meant to be complimentary in most cases, "no, you don't need to lose any more weight - you look great!" I'd say thank you and keep going about my goal. If they wish to "convince" me that I'm done losing weight, then I have no interest in that.
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
    Ive been getting that a lot lately. It always makes me just sort of stop and blink confusedly. I am NOT skinny. I'm thinner than I was, and nearly to where I want to be, but hardly skinny. I'm getting this mostly from friends who really are genuinely concerned though...mostly they are counseling pros...I geuss they're just concerned that I might have an eating disorder. Its always with love...not jealousy, from these friends. Trust me, friends. I do not have an ED. I just look different now, and am approaching life a bit differently....in a healthier way. Said with love.
  • doubleduofa
    doubleduofa Posts: 284 Member
    I posted a picture in a tank top on Facebook and got the opposite of "Fat Shaming".. people were saying that I need to put on weight and that I looked skeletal.... I am sooo not underweight.. I am firmly in the healthy range for BF% and am actively looking to lose a few more % points.....

    It took me for a bit of a loop and then I got over it. I'm healthy and fit and they don't have to live in my body.... so whatever....

    Yes! Great attitude! You are the one that has to live in your body and be comfortable. Not them. Ideas about "healthy" weight are a bit skewed these days...IMO.
  • workout_fish
    workout_fish Posts: 67 Member
    Haters gonna hate.

    ^THIS!!! LOL
  • Change_is_Good_
    Change_is_Good_ Posts: 272 Member
    People's perception on healthy/normal is so warped now days.

    As long as you ARE in that range you don't have much to worry about. People are also so much more aware of eating and exercise disorders that they automatically presume this of anyone dedicated.

    If they really care and are just looking out for you try not to be mad, maybe explain how you have managed to get to where you are, what you have left to do and of course that now you have got there you need to stay committed to some degree not to put on again.
  • Wildheart_Baby
    Wildheart_Baby Posts: 44 Member
    They probably think you're going to end up losing too much weight and end up looking gaunt and all drawn out, as long as you lose it properly you can look and feel healthy, whilst being trim, they might just be concerned for your welfare.
  • GetDemGainz
    GetDemGainz Posts: 60
    Although very hard at times, stick to your goals and the mindset that got you where you are today. I am receiving similar comments from some. I hit my original weight loss goal and I am still losing. My new goal is the same as yours at this point, shed the remaining belly fat and get 6 pack ripped! Almost there and nothing or no one is standing in my way. Good luck and keep going until YOU are satisfied =}
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    Straight up discomfort. When someone they think of as "normal" loses weight and becomes lean and incredible-looking, it makes them uncomfortable about themselves.
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
    Same problem. And I don't think it's jealousy. I think it's a perception thing. You can be the same size as the person standing right next to you but you'll look small because people are used to that other person being that size and you used to be bigger. I even had one friend who is much thinner than me message me that she was concerned that I was too skinny. :noway: My BF is around 25% and hers is probably more like 20% so :noway: lol
  • witchieboo
    witchieboo Posts: 43 Member
    When you have your clothes on covering any flab, people don't see the extra weight. I told a few people how much I weighed and they could not believe I weight that much. I you need to loss weight it will come off, but don' t starve yourself to do it. Don't forget being underweight as health problems too.
  • trixiemou
    trixiemou Posts: 554 Member
    A friend said the same to me yesterday. I do not think it was because she was jealous it is maybe that she has never known me slim. This to me feels like the real me. My loss does show in my face especially on a bad day (haha it looks a little craggy) But that will catch up. I do say that I have had no real loss since last year, this is down to getting a bit fitter but i do not think they believe that. Give it time they will learn to accept and get used to the new you.

    Well done on the loss so far.

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