Why do people say "you need to stop losing weight?"

2

Replies

  • violinkeri
    violinkeri Posts: 212
    What everyone is saying is true....just remember that if you have an ED you will be the last to know (or at least, to admit). As long as you are reaching for a weight that your MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL deems appropriate and are doing it a healthy way, don't let anyone dissuade you from your goals!
  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
    I posted a picture in a tank top on Facebook and got the opposite of "Fat Shaming".. people were saying that I need to put on weight and that I looked skeletal.... I am sooo not underweight.. I am firmly in the healthy range for BF% and am actively looking to lose a few more % points.....

    It took me for a bit of a loop and then I got over it. I'm healthy and fit and they don't have to live in my body.... so whatever....

    I have had people, in the past, tell me that I "don't even have to work at it" because my metabolism must take care of it and I can eat whatever I want. So not true! I've been into fitness since 2000 and have, for the most part, always eaten a healthy diet. So just because I didn't start off bigger and lose a ton of weight does not mean I haven't been successful.

    I think people will say something regardless. It's like you're damned if you do, damned if you don't....
  • SweetestLibby
    SweetestLibby Posts: 607 Member
    Because people's idea of what healthy weight looks like is way off as they look around at the masses of overweight people around them. I am still a good 18 pounds ABOVE what my "normal" range should be and get the your getting too thin comments as well. I think some think this line of conversation is a compliment, I think it is annoying and rude that they have no clue of the work and commitment it can take.

    ^^ This. It's gotten to the point where I won't tell my family what size I am. I just say that I'm a size "fit and healthy." I've been called a "bobblehead" one too many times for my liking. I think my family was so used to how I used to look that they couldn't handle the change even though it was gradual.

    I've lost just over 90 pounds and went from a size 16 to a size 2. My lbm, lean body mass, is 115 lbs and 14% fat - I am not there yet but when I say I want to get there my family goes nuts. For me, the everage size of a US woman is not healthy.
  • MyProgressISYour1Proof
    MyProgressISYour1Proof Posts: 376 Member
    Check out my pictures and progress. Same boat but was a 30/32 and can fit some 6s and 8s. It sucks but the skin just is there. I've gotten rid of a lot of it but push myself. Pretty much 200 pounds down from the start
  • BrightStar85
    BrightStar85 Posts: 10 Member
    Haters gonna hate.

    True story.
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
    I'm looking forward to responses like that... then again, I'm an ***hole, so I'm looking forward to making fun of them for not working out with me and still being fat. Tit for tat.
  • wolfchild59
    wolfchild59 Posts: 2,608 Member
    Because they aren't used to seeing you at the smaller size, so you instantly seem sickly and worrisome to them. Just remind them that you're doing it in a healthy way and eating plenty of really tasty food but that you just have some personal fitness goals to achieve.
  • kellehbeans
    kellehbeans Posts: 838 Member
    I don't know, it annoys me too. This weekend I visited my grandma, she saw me and said I shouldn't lose more weight. Then she spent half the weekend asking if I ever stopped eating LMAO I tried to explain but it didn't work out :)

    I have this same problem with my parents!

    I find it very difficult. My father says I need to stop losing weight and compares me to my very, very, painfully and extremely unhealthy sister (suspected bullemic, who I know for a FACT takes laxatives many times a day), which annoys me. My mum just thinks I'm going over the top, and my boyfriend says I need to stop at 10 stone (140lbs, although we've had a chat about this and if he thinks he can control me, he knows where he can go :laugh: )
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    Well people we do not want to heart this but sometimes it is true, we do need to stop losing weight. We do not look good in the face and when we loose to much weight and our faces start looking bad, like no fat in the cheeks and having marionette lines by our mouth because we lost fat out of our face and the skin is sagging.

    We tend to look at our flaws, not our awesomeness. I can say that when I was 105 this past summer all I saw were the teeny pockets of fat on my saddlebags. It was not until I saw a picture of myself that I realized I looked horrible. I stopped logging and intentionally had to gain 7 pounds.

    Body dysmorphia is very common and not our friend.
  • MizSaz
    MizSaz Posts: 445 Member
    Because they have no idea what I actually look like naked..... ;)

    Kidding aside, I'm jumping on the 'haters gonna hate' train. Just do you and don't let them get you down.
  • serenapitala
    serenapitala Posts: 441 Member
    You don't have any pics, so I'm not sure, but you may look smaller than you are. People genuinely think I. 20-30 lighter than I am. It sounds like you're at a point where you want muscle development anyway and that isn't weight loss, so it shouldn't be an issue anymore.
    Congrats on your success!
  • johnnygizmo
    johnnygizmo Posts: 59 Member
    Because they don't understand what is going on inside you and what your true motivations are. They superimpose their values on your life. Be Awesome and be who YOU want to be.
  • Songbirdcw
    Songbirdcw Posts: 320 Member
    Because people's idea of what healthy weight looks like is way off as they look around at the masses of overweight people around them. I am still a good 18 pounds ABOVE what my "normal" range should be and get the your getting too thin comments as well. I think some think this line of conversation is a compliment, I think it is annoying and rude that they have no clue of the work and commitment it can take.

    This. When your normal is so skewed, someone who is "healthy" looks too small.

    This! And I enjoy working out 4-6 days a week, and my fam/friends think I'm "Obsessed". It's so annoying. They basically are saying, "You have lost more than I expected you to so you can stop now!" Everybody wants to motivate you, then when they see you actually accomplishing your goal I believe a bit of jealousy creeps in. And believe it or not, people have put you in a box. I don't even think it's intentional. A box of what you should/should not be or look. If you go outside of the box, there is always resistance.
  • NiSan12
    NiSan12 Posts: 374 Member
    I take it as a compliment as to say I look good where I"m at. It's all how you look at it. I don't generally people are being mean, they just don't know...
  • amyhoss
    amyhoss Posts: 414 Member
    They just aren't used to you looking skinny. And also they might be jealous.
  • MasterKat
    MasterKat Posts: 149
    Something I noticed....next to jealousy...is sometimes people are at a loss for words. Instead of paying a compliment it comes out blah... The drastic change we see in someone is such a shock and that 20, 40, 80... 100 lb loss looks sooooo drastic. They new you won't look normal to them for quite sometime...this coming from experience. My SIL dropped 80 lbs...not seeing her all the time so after a few months of not seeing her....I was in shock n awe. But luckily I zipped the lip and didn't trip on my words. A year later... I think she looks wonderful!!!!

    Be proud of you what you have accomplished and don't sweat the "blah" comments that people spit out.
  • carrieous
    carrieous Posts: 1,024 Member
    stop hanging out with those people.
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
    Because they aren't used to seeing you at the smaller size, so you instantly seem sickly and worrisome to them. Just remind them that you're doing it in a healthy way and eating plenty of really tasty food but that you just have some personal fitness goals to achieve.

    Yep! And I "carried my weight well" so no one had an idea of how much I weighed so when I give them the numbers I have lost (about 3 stone) it seems "shocking" that I lost so much from my frame. But I still have a way to go!
  • Ascolti_la_musica
    Ascolti_la_musica Posts: 676 Member
    The flip side of all this sugar coated "they're jealous" mentality is that some people DO take it too far. For some people, it becomes an unhealthy obsession. Some people find bones sexy, and far too many women and girls chase the ridiculous "thigh gap." (I don't know you, and do not presume to suggest you fit within that group. You might not. That's a question for YOU to consider.)

    If you are happy and healthy with your weight, good for you, and screw anyone who doesn't like it. If you are at a healthy weight and still not happy, or still think you WOULD be happy if you could just lose X more, you might step back a moment and reevaluate the situation.

    Personally, my goal is at the lower end of overweight or (at most) the high end of average. I find that aesthetically pleasing.

    If you like bones, go for it. Just make sure you stop before you start losing hair or passing out. :-P
  • ajhugz
    ajhugz Posts: 452 Member
    They aren't judging you in comparison to other people your current height and size. They are looking at how small you are now compared to how big you were before. Its probably alarming to them and they are just concerned. Most people that are uneducated with weight loss draw the few facts they know about it together. So all they see is, she was big and now she's small. She's getting smaller and smaller. When people are small and keep getting smaller they could get sick. Just let them know your goals and that you're not trying to be 80lbs just fit.

    *this is how my cousin said she felt about my weightloss when I lost the freshman 15/20 (maybe more I didn't track the weight loss) instead of gaining it. I was 180 for so long, that it was a huge difference to see me looking much smaller. I would show pics but I always forget how to post them.
  • luckyjuls
    luckyjuls Posts: 505 Member
    Honestly the only time I've ever said that to someone was when they really were at a perfect weight.

    I think it actually back fired when I told this girl, as she lost an additional 15 pounds after that. And you know what? I was right. She definitely lost that beautiful full quality to her face in those last 15 pounds.
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
    Almost always, because they are a mess. Once someone was crazy enough to say it to me, and I replied: "You ought to have higher expectations for both of us."

    :laugh:
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    CUZ THEIR JUS HATIN. THEY IZ JELUS OF U.
  • shayemimi
    shayemimi Posts: 203 Member
    I am getting this a lot too, and it IS really annoying, but I don't think people mean to be rude , they just aren't used to the new you. For me I feel like I got the 'real' me back. I just tell people when they say, " you must be at your goal weight now, don't get too skinny " and things like that, that now I am working on body fat% and toning, etc. and that seems to work. They will adjust to seeing you smaller and when you lose more may not even notice , except that you still look great! Keep up the good work!
  • ajhugz
    ajhugz Posts: 452 Member
    Because they have no idea what I actually look like naked..... ;)

    Kidding aside, I'm jumping on the 'haters gonna hate' train. Just do you and don't let them get you down.

    Amen. The first time I lost weight people were like omg Asia you're so skinny. I just felt like yeah maybe with clothes on, but I still have this gut I suck in.
  • bsix3
    bsix3 Posts: 291
    Translation: I want to look as good as you but I'm lazy...
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
    I say....screw 'em. If you don't have an eating disorder, you're not UNDER weight, and you're doing it in a healthy manner, they need to mind their own business.

    I am by NO means thin and I get this from my MIL a lot. Take the time to look around you. The majority are overweight or outright obese. People's perception of healthy is skewed. Per my BMI, I am still overweight yet I get these comments. You may look drastically different and they just haven't processed it yet. ;)
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
    Because I kept a waist (OK, it was 10-12 inches bigger than my "just married" waist) and remained "hourglass" a lot of poeple didn't realise how much weight I was carrying - also because I dress "to fit" - I don't fool myself that something tight will look OK if I wear "suck-it-in" underwear:laugh: Poeple are surprised I have lost so much -and that I want to lose more! If they saw me in a bikini they'd see what I mean:embarassed:

    The other thing to bear in mind is that if you lose weight quickly and don't take care of your face you can look quite haggard - this is why you need to drink plenty of water (keeps the skin renewing) and use a good day and night moisturiser. (Oh, that goes for the body too!)
  • jld0411
    jld0411 Posts: 29 Member
    I get it all the time too. I went from a size 14 to a size 4, and I get all kinds of comments about being a twig, anorexic, too skinny, look like I'm on meth, etc. You name it, I've heard it! At the end of the day, I know that I'm toned, fit and healthy. And the other posters are right, too - it's usually people who are jealous. Just know that you are happier and healthier and what people say DOES NOT MATTER! What matters is that you're healthy and you should feel amazing about your accomplishment. Don't let those haters bring you down! ::hugs::
  • Andrew_peter
    Andrew_peter Posts: 94 Member
    Heard it from a close family member, but she has a medical background and was genuinely concerned that I was starving myself, was sick, or had developed some kind of disorder to achieve my goals. Discussing it with her further and outing the plan and steps I was taking really put her at ease.

    Unfortunately I think many people see weight loss as typically being the result of sickness/disease or an eating disorder far more often than a healthy lifestyle change.

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