Not diet related...

♥seoid♥

So, I have a bf and I'm not getting what I need out of the relationship. Half the time he acts like I don't exist. He barely calls/texts; I'm always the one reaching out to him. I lived with him for one year and then he kicked me and my three girls out. We are now (my girls and I) renting a house. He wants to date for a year and see where things go. He has never mentioned marriage or committment. I'm scared I am wasting my time with this guy. I'm almost 40 and afraid to start the dating scene again, I'm also afraid to be alone.

On the other hand I've met this fabulous guy, but he lives on the other side of the world and we've only talked on email. I know nothing will come of this....but I feel somehow he and I were meant to be.

I am very upset over this and it's causing a horrible emotional toll on me.

Any advice?

Cassaaaaandra

Recommended Reading: He's Just Not That into You

It's hilarious, short, and has some awesome advice on dating and relationships.

If be blows you off - he's not the one for you. Period.

Cassaaaaandra

Do you really want to raise your girls in an environment where they learn that it is okay for the man in their life to kick out his better half, not ever return phone calls and in general doesn't repect them. They learn all of that from watching you and your relationship. Set them up for success in their future relationships and have a zero tolerance policy for the men you bring into their lives. Children rarely do as they are told - but almost alway imitate.

AliceLMS

He kicked you out! You still refer to him as your boyfriend! WOW

foxxybrown

Never be afraid to be alone!!! Why stay in an unhappy relationship just for the sake of saying you have a boyfriend?

sportygal

He's not worth it. I wasted my life on a "part time" situation and it ended up being 20 years with no commitment!! There are better fish in the sea and take alone time to regroup, spend time with your kids and enjoy life!

♥seoid♥

IDK.....this is why I'm asking for advice. I know he loves me, but not that way I need to be loved. :sad:

PureAndHealthy

There are worse things than being alone. Don't be in unhealthy, emotionally-devastating relationships... your girls deserve better than being drug along for that ride. Have you thought about looking into some counseling? We all could use some help from a good Christian therapist. I could recommend a great one in the chattanooga, tn area!

mommamills

So, I have a bf and I'm not getting what I need out of the relationship.

I am very upset over this and it's causing a horrible emotional toll on me.

This is the only part of that post that you should need to hear! If he doesn't care enough to let you know up front what he wants out of this and has the nerve to kick you and your girls out on the street THEN turn around and ask you for another year of your life then he's def not worrying over!!! Do what makes you happy! Life is too short! Relationships are happier when your EMOTIONAL needs are met than when your PHYSICAL needs are met. If this guy across the world makes you happy just by talking to him...what more do you need?? He acknowledges you, right? That's already one step up from the current situation. You deserve more! Relationships should NEVER be one-sided! Show your girls that in life, you should be with someone who makes you happy! PERIOD!!!!!

Good luck, sweet girl! I know you will make the right decision. Just pray on it!

Jennplus2

Dump the first dude. If you were living together and now you are not my question would be why does he not want you to live together anymore? Is he seeing someone else also? Not worth your time IMO. The other thing you should do is work on you. You said you are scared of living alone and dating. You live with your girls already, the most important thing is you and them. So don't date for a while. Think of what you want and be happy with yourself and your life. You don't need a man! Then when the time is right Mr perfect will come along and fine you.
If the other guy is the one it will all work out for the best.
:flowerforyou:

Crickks

IDK.....this is why I'm asking for advice. I know he loves me, but not that way I need to be loved. :sad:

Check your Email.........

PJilly

I think you said it all in your first sentence: "I'm not getting what I need out of the relationship." I know it's hard, but I think it's time to move on. I'm sorry! :flowerforyou:

xecila

So, I have a bf and I'm not getting what I need out of the relationship. Half the time he acts like I don't exist. He barely calls/texts; I'm always the one reaching out to him. I lived with him for one year and then he kicked me and my three girls out. We are now (my girls and I) renting a house. He wants to date for a year and see where things go. He has never mentioned marriage or committment. I'm scared I am wasting my time with this guy. I'm almost 40 and afraid to start the dating scene again, I'm also afraid to be alone.

On the other hand I've met this fabulous guy, but he lives on the other side of the world and we've only talked on email. I know nothing will come of this....but I feel somehow he and I were meant to be.

I am very upset over this and it's causing a horrible emotional toll on me.

Any advice?

First off, I've been with my hubby for almost five years.. and we met online. It can happen.

Second, nobody wants to be with someone who doesn't make them feel wanted, which is what it seems like is happening with you. I had that "absent" boyfriend for a few years, and eventually broke it off after he called out of the blue after a month. A MONTH! They're not worth your time, in my opinion. All or nothin', I think.

♥seoid♥

You're all making me cry. Thank you......any more advice would be great. Everything has been great so far. :sad:

Crickks

Dump the first dude. If you were living together and now you are not my question would be why does he not want you to live together anymore? Is he seeing someone else also? Not worth your time IMO. The other thing you should do is work on you. You said you are scared of living alone and dating. You live with your girls already, the most important thing is you and them. So don't date for a while. Think of what you want and be happy with yourself and your life. You don't need a man! Then when the time is right Mr perfect will come along and fine you.
If the other guy is the one it will all work out for the best.
:flowerforyou:

EXACTLY!!

cdavis1126

I'm married and wish I wasn't. Seriously, my husband pays no attention to me at all, does not support me in losing weight and doesn't even like to touch or be touched. We cannot have a conversation without an argument. We've tried counseling and the guy told me to divorce my husband. How many marriage counselors do you know that would say that? You know my husband is the worst just from that.

I would so much rather be alone and concentrate on ME. Why am I still married you might ask? Well, financial reasons. House, bills, etc. If I could just hit the lottery and pay off my debt, I would be outta here in a flash.

I think it's so much harder to be in a bad relationship that to be in no relationship. You need to have some respect for yourself and your children and end it with this loser. It's ok to be alone, what you have to figure out for yourself is how not to be lonely.

Christine

hamiltonba

You answered your own questions. I know it sucks and can be lonely being alone, but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them? Can you try to find things to keep you busy? Perhaps join a karate class or adult education type class? Something to get you mingling with other adults?

khloe

I dated a fabulous guy half way around the world and we've now been married for 10 years this July, and it is still amazing! If you are nearly 40, dump him, you are running out of time. He's just waiting for something better to come along. C'mon, do you really need that! Get out, and get strong. By the way, just you doing that will make him want you as you'll seem strong and lovely instead of insecure and weak. Don't give in him, stay away. Whilst your picking up his sloppy seconds the TRUE love of your life may be passing you bye! Say goodbye and see what else is waiting for you in life.

XX:glasses:

8turboturtle8

You (and your girls) deserve more...short and sweet.

{hugs}

Crickks

So, I have a bf and I'm not getting what I need out of the relationship.

I am very upset over this and it's causing a horrible emotional toll on me.

This is the only part of that post that you should need to hear! If he doesn't care enough to let you know up front what he wants out of this and has the nerve to kick you and your girls out on the street THEN turn around and ask you for another year of your life then he's def not worrying over!!! Do what makes you happy! Life is too short! Relationships are happier when your EMOTIONAL needs are met than when your PHYSICAL needs are met. If this guy across the world makes you happy just by talking to him...what more do you need?? He acknowledges you, right? That's already one step up from the current situation. You deserve more! Relationships should NEVER be one-sided! Show your girls that in life, you should be with someone who makes you happy! PERIOD!!!!!

Good luck, sweet girl! I know you will make the right decision. Just pray on it!

EVERYTHING SHE SAID!!! this situation is pissing me off:mad: :mad:

8turboturtle8

You (and your girls) deserve more...short and sweet.

{hugs}

PS ~ I am "alone" with my three kids...and yes it was a transition, and yes there are good days and bad...but all in all...I CHOOSE not to date right now. It's not all bad