Not diet related...

2

Replies

  • vrdz3215
    vrdz3215 Posts: 493
    like everyone else said, you answered your own questions, dont let life pass you by while being unhappy!
  • Cassaaaaandra
    Cassaaaaandra Posts: 184 Member
    No, he doesn't love you. And if you stay with him, you don't love you either.
  • jlewis2896
    jlewis2896 Posts: 763 Member
    Chin up, kiddo! Ditch the first guy, it's hard to let go of things sometimes, even when they are unhealthy...... but sometimes things fall apart so that even better things can fall together.

    As for your man halfway 'round the world, sounds like a fairytale in the making. You never know!!!!!!!
  • iwantthis
    iwantthis Posts: 15 Member
    Maybe someone already said this, but if he's not meeting your needs, what's the point.

    Don't waste your time.
  • Granny2b
    Granny2b Posts: 91
    You are not happy at all in this relationship........and this is not good for your health or that of your family either. Find someone new you are not too old !!! I hope things work out well for you X:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • val226
    val226 Posts: 1
    sorry to say "HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU"!!!!! cut your losses and move on it sounds like you want to and already have emotionally, set an example for your daughters, if you asked your girls they would probably say "why are you still with him after all he puts you through". kids are smart and have a sense of right and wrong if you keep overriding what you know needs to happen then your girls will do the same when they get into relationships. never negate your feelings just so you are not alone. better to be alone and happy than with someone and miserable. best wishes for life ahead of you and your girls
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
    I think it's so much harder to be in a bad relationship that to be in no relationship. You need to have some respect for yourself and your children and end it with this loser. It's ok to be alone, what you have to figure out for yourself is how not to be lonely.


    It is harder to be in a bad relationship. In a relationship you have expectations of the other person. When you are single you don't. When my ex-husband said he needed time to think about the marriage ( after 10 years) I contacted a divorce lawyer the next day. You should respect yourself and your kids enough to let that relationship go. It sounds like he wants to play it his way and what you want or need does not matter.

    As to the fellow on line...he could be the catalyst you need to get rid of the scuzzy boyfriend or he could be the real thing. I met my husband on-line - He lived near Atlanta and I live near Toronto...two different countries. We have been married for over 5 years and I wouldn't trade him for anything.
  • littletiger972000
    littletiger972000 Posts: 159
    I personally have been through this situation. Not identical but pretty darn close! I found out after getting out of the relationship that he was cheating on me and had gotten back w/ his ex! I think a relationship is a 2 sided thing! If he isn't contributing then he doesn't give a S***! And believe it or not, I ended up talking to a guy online and just realizing that "I AM WORTH IT" to someone made me dump my ex! Fortunately for me, the guy I was talking to lived fairly close to me and we have now been a REAL relationship for 1 1/2 yrs! I wasted 2 yrs on the other guy that I can't get back and in the process, my self esteem was shattered and I put my son through all that insanity! I really think you should look at it from the perspective of "What if this was happening to my best friend? What would I tell her to do?" and then follow your own advice!! When we are in the situation we don't want to see or accept what is happening, but when you look at it differently you see it! Being in an awful relationship is MENTALLY damaging as well as EMOTIONALLY! I'm sure you could do better and you certainly deserve better! And what everyone is saying is right! Don't worry about being single, take time for you and your kids, and when the time is right, the right guy will come along! I mean think about it...I know some people that are in their 80's that just recently got married! I guess what I'm saying is...IT'S NEVER TO LATE FOR LOVE! Good luck on whatever you decide to do!
  • Sandra9551
    Sandra9551 Posts: 4
    Sounds to me you've already made your decision - why else would you be contacting anyone else (albeit the other side of the world) and thinking them wonderful when you've never even had the chance to meet him. Your girls need you ...... and if 'Mr Right' does come along they need to know that he loves you and them 'just the way you are'. Your priority is them - they learn from you - would you like one of your girls treated this way? So why tell them (by your actions) that it's ok to be ill-treated. Your decisions effect not just you but also your family.
  • JodyDodd
    JodyDodd Posts: 2
    Ditto on "He's just not that into you". Great book.

    Sometimes it isn't what you want to hear, but most of the time it's exactly what needs to be said.
  • k_wills
    k_wills Posts: 82 Member
    Kick him to touch!
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    There's a great line in the movie "Some Kind of Wonderful" that says, "I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reasons".

    Far better that you be alone and happy than with someone and miserable. Furthermore - you'll never be able to have successful relationship until you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can be happy alone. Your girls need to know that mama is strong, self-sufficient and emotionally stable on her own... they'll learn to be strong as well. I spent 5 years single with my son... then I met Prince Charming online and it's been the most amazing relationship ever. We've been married almost 5 years now and the man still knocks my socks off everytime I see him. He's my best friend. You deserve to be as happy as I am... don't settle for less.
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
    Being in a relationship means being equal to each other, being there for each other, supporting one another. It seems that your situation is one sided, only at HIS convenience.... this is not a way to live, I know being alone is scary, but do you really want to waste all your years WAITING for him to find time for you? All us girls need to get it in our head that we are equal to men, and we should never wait, we should never cower, we should never be second in any relationship. Try to be the strong woman that I know is inside you, she's inside all of us, and listen to what she has to say, what her needs are, not his.
    If I am not mistaken, aren't you the one that had a post on here about finding porn and talking to some of them that lived locally on your boyfriends computer? Is this the same boyfriend? If so, this guy is not worthy of your time, and you have given to much of your time already. What exactly does this guy contribute in this that makes YOU happy?
  • delilahthegoddess
    delilahthegoddess Posts: 59
    IDK.....this is why I'm asking for advice. I know he loves me, but not that way I need to be loved. :sad:

    I understand this statement to the core.
  • acakeforawife
    acakeforawife Posts: 207
    Oh, I just want to give you a big old internet hug. All I can say is ... what if one of your girls was grown up and was in this position? What if you saw this beautiful girl with a huge heart, who was smart and strong and talented, who was with a guy who didn't deserve her, kicker her out of his house, and would never even bother to call her? What would you want your girl to do?

    Whatever you want for your girls -- don't accept anything less for yourself. Because they are watching and absorbing, always. Best of luck with whatever you decide. :heart:
  • Elokyn
    Elokyn Posts: 448 Member
    Oh, I just want to give you a big old internet hug. All I can say is ... what if one of your girls was grown up and was in this position? What if you saw this beautiful girl with a huge heart, who was smart and strong and talented, who was with a guy who didn't deserve her, kicker her out of his house, and would never even bother to call her? What would you want your girl to do?

    Whatever you want for your girls -- don't accept anything less for yourself. Because they are watching and absorbing, always. Best of luck with whatever you decide. :heart:

    Well said!
  • suziblues2000
    suziblues2000 Posts: 515 Member
    Be strong! Be a good example for your daughters!

    You deserve to be treated like a queen. You are really pretty!

    Dump this guy, he is not giving you what you need.

    Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:
  • tdh302
    tdh302 Posts: 57 Member
    "So, I have a bf and I'm not getting what I need out of the relationship. Half the time he acts like I don't exist. He barely calls/texts; I'm always the one reaching out to him. I lived with him for one year and then he kicked me and my three girls out. We are now (my girls and I) renting a house. He wants to date for a year and see where things go. He has never mentioned marriage or committment. I'm scared I am wasting my time with this guy."


    This is not a loving , mutual relationship by most standards. Don't let your fear of being alone cause you to make maladaptive decision to stay. This relationship is most likely never going to meet your needs. Decide that you are worth more than what you are receiving, develop the courage to do something good for yourself and your children, and move forward. Think of this in terms of food...how many posts have you read about people "knowing what to do and what to eat", but they continue to struggle for fear of "what ifs" and not knowing how things will turn out. With this relationship....you know exactly how it will turn out. It's right there in the quote above my reply.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    Don't waste your time!!! I wasted soooo much time on 2 particular guys who weren't into me as much as I was into them and it hindered a beautiful relationship I could have had with someone else!!! It ruined 2 relationships I had with bfs because I was still hung up on them. Don't go through this, girl. It's not worth it. He'll only end up making you cry.
  • Elokyn
    Elokyn Posts: 448 Member
    As for my two cents, I'd say he's a jerk but he's not stupid. He's not mature enough for the relationship but he knows what an amazing wonderful woman you are, so he's trying to keep you waiting for him so noone else sweeps you off your feet (which they will when the time is right ;))

    In my opinion you need to drop him.,..he's not going to be anything but a bad example to your girls and a horrible pang in your heart. It will be easier to do now than it will be to do in a year. ~hugz~
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