Opinions: Yea or Nay?

DavPul
DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
in Chit-Chat
Have we reached a point where it is no longer acceptable to have a negative opinion about things? If someone asks me if I like the way someone looks/dresses/acts, am I allowed to say "Do Not Want" or do I have to say "person X looks/dresses/acts great for them and as long as they are happy with it then it's fine"?

Mind you, I'm not saying I want to say something negative to their face. Or even in a public forum like MFP. I'm asking if, in a one on one or in small group conversation, is it okay to say that I don't like a particular thing and don't want to look/act/dress that way?

Is stating an opinion where you say you don't like something considered shaming?
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Replies

  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    Neigh
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    I still do, and don't care if people like it or not. Depending on the conversation and/or who it's with I may phrase it more carefully, but I still make my point. If you ask a question you're either A) attention whoring, or B) looking for advice. I give advice, and I expect people around me to do the same when I ask questions.

    What's the story about the king with no clothes?
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
    Some folks are just too damn sensitive.

    But if I ever had a question on lifting, losing weight, etc. I'd totally listen to someone with arms and a back like yours vs. someone that has only lost 1 lb so far.

    Different is good.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    NO.




    it's not shaming to have an opinion
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    NO.




    it's not shaming to have an opinion
    :angry:
  • Going4Lean
    Going4Lean Posts: 1,078 Member
    Nay, people just have to toughen up .
  • Imadarkswan
    Imadarkswan Posts: 113 Member
    It is YOUR opinion. It it is not shaming if you disagree.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    If people ask for an opinion then they should be prepared for what they get.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I think it's perfectly ok to have an opinion. I think it's perfectly ok to state that opinion.

    But I think some people lack ANY tact whatsoever in how they state things.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    Nay.
  • MacInCali
    MacInCali Posts: 1,012 Member
    Is stating an opinion where you say you don't like something considered shaming?

    I don't think so. For me, the shaming comes in when someone says something like "she looks disgusting" or "Ew, gross, who would want to look like that?!" But one should be able to express their own preferences without fear of being attacked for it. We don't all have to agree or get along. We all have our own perception of what we find attractive, in both ourselves and in others ... and thank God for that cause we would be a bunch of clones otherwise.

    Personally, if I post a picture and ask for opinions, I ~want~ people to be honest ... I don't want anyone blowing smoke to avoid hurting my feelings. I'd rather hear "holding the camera at that angle is not as flattering to your figure" rather than "you look great no matter what". That may just be me though ...

    As a separate example, I'm not one to say I like Pop Tarts simply because they seem to be so popular around here. I'd rather have a pastry or donut. And I've said so on several occasions. :tongue:
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Is stating an opinion where you say you don't like something considered shaming?

    I don't think so. For me, the shaming comes in when someone says something like "she looks disgusting" or "Ew, gross, who would want to look like that?!" But one should be able to express their own preferences without fear of being attacked for it. We don't all have to agree or get along. We all have our own perception of what we find attractive, in both ourselves and in others ... and thank God for that cause we would be a bunch of clones otherwise.

    Personally, if I post a picture and ask for opinions, I ~want~ people to be honest ... I don't want anyone blowing smoke to avoid hurting my feelings. I'd rather hear "holding the camera at that angle is not as flattering to your figure" rather than "you look great no matter what". That may just be me though ...

    As a separate example, I'm not one to say I like Pop Tarts simply because they seem to be so popular around here. I'd rather have a pastry or donut. And I've said so on several occasions. :tongue:

    I don't like PopTarts either. But I would eat a double quarter pounder with cheese a million times over.

    As for hurting people I find unattractive, I usually keep it quiet unless they say something unkind to me first.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    As long as people don't say "eww".
  • kdcshesback
    kdcshesback Posts: 47 Member
    I think it's perfectly ok to have an opinion. I think it's perfectly ok to state that opinion.

    But I think some people lack ANY tact whatsoever in how they state things.

    ^^THIS

    Don't be a d*** but if you have an opinion... Go for it! Tact is key!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I think it's perfectly ok to have an opinion. I think it's perfectly ok to state that opinion.

    But I think some people lack ANY tact whatsoever in how they state things.

    ^^THIS

    Don't be a d*** but if you have an opinion... Go for it! Tact is key!

    QFT
  • toaster6
    toaster6 Posts: 703 Member
    You already know my feelings on this. I figure if I don't want it done to me, I won't do it to others so I will not sugar coat. I don't think I state things rudely and I rarely intend to have my words taken that way, but I'm not going to lavish false praise just because someone wants to hear it. Better to be honest.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    As long as people don't say "eww".

    What if they say "ewe" instead?
  • sPaRkLiNgLYFE
    sPaRkLiNgLYFE Posts: 609
    you can be honest but tactful
  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
    It think it very much depends on how you put that opinion across, and whom you are with when having this conversation. If it's with old friends, then hell yeah you can express your opinion. On the internet, maybe not so much, because your branded a big meanie troll face. Oh, or jealous. Thats another good one....
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    I think it's fine to have and state an opinion regardless, as long as others have the same freedom. If someone states an opinion that makes them sound like a prick, then I reserve the right to call them one. Civility is great...when you can get it.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    As long as people don't say "eww".

    What if they say "ewe" instead?
    The last time i called people "sheep" they did not appreciate it.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    I'm not quite sure what you're seeking to accomplish here, to be honest. Of course you can disagree with someone in a private setting. You can also disagree with someone in a public setting. Really, you can disagree with whoever the f**k you want, whenever the f**k you want. That's why we're gifted with the power of independent thought.

    But my advice? If you ARE going to disagree with someone, remember these three words: Pick Your Battles. If you are in a professional environment (like work, for example), is it really worth it to disagree with a coworker, or worse yet, your boss? If it's in a classroom situation, do you really want to draw the teacher's attention to yourself with your disagreeing opinion? If you do, and you think you're in the right-- by all means go for it. But too many people on the internet tend to disagree at the drop of a hat, almost for the sake of disagreement rather than because they actually have a concrete opinion. It's much easier to put others down and criticize than to suggest alternative solutions.

    It's just... the way in which you worded this post seems like you might be trying to write satire at how the MFP forums function, in which case-- the forums are full of disagreements, tactful or not. If that wasn't what you were indirectly getting at though, then I apologize for my incorrect assumption.
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
    As others have said tact is the key. Most folks don't like the character assasination that comes with negative opinion.e.g.

    I wouldn't eat that and anyone that does is an idiot vs. I wouldn't eat that but if if do that's up to you.
  • Rhonnie
    Rhonnie Posts: 506 Member
    Everyone is entitled to an opinion (but not their own facts!), but how a person shares that opinion means other people will have an opinion about if they are a jerk or not. :)
  • wikitbikit
    wikitbikit Posts: 518 Member
    As far as potentially negative opinions being shared online, I noticed something kind of interesting the other day. I commented that I didn't like something and a couple of people responded with 'well, whatever, it has to be that way' kinds of replies. And it's like, cool, I know it has to be that way, I don't act like a jerk when it happens, but I still don't like it. And at that point, it was ok that I didn't like it.

    So, yeah. Basically, it's fine to have a negative opinion about something so long as you don't act on it, or don't act like a jerk about it.

    Online especially, if you simply say 'I don't like Gtozox,' people will (perhaps mistakenly) jump to the conclusion that you not only don't like it, but that you are actively against it. Otherwise, why bother answering the question? People don't really care that you don't like something. They do like positive reinforcement that their opinions are 'good' though, or at least not bad.
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    It is not shaming to have an opinion.

    However, I once had a gal de-friend me because I said in a post that I don't like guys with ginormous muscles. She berated me for body shaming and de-friended me, to which my response was 'well frack you too'. Do I respect the hard work and discipline that goes into that? Yes, of course. Do I want to take them home and see them naked? No. Just like opera: I admire the hard work, but don't want to listen.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I want to hear the truth... I don't want someone to fleece me with flowers and then find out one day they were talking out of the side of their face.

    eg.. abs... some people want em, some people don't. Some think they're sexy, some think they're a turn off. It is perfectly acceptable to me if someone says..
    - meh, that's not for me
    - to each his/her own
    - I don't like it at all

    I might feel a bit butthurt about:
    - ew, ewwwwww, ewe
    - that's disgusting
    - she doesn't even look like a woman anymore
    - that's so manly

    But ya know what... I'm a big girl, and those opinions about me should NOT define my own opinions about myself... so while I may feel butthurt... I still can handle it if someone puts it in writing.

    But... can everyone else?
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    yes, people should have their own opinions. It would be so boring if we all held the same ones.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    I believe in the golden rule. Therefore I try my best to speak my mind honestly, with the hope that people will be honest and candid with me.
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    I'm reporting everyone on this thread for not sharing the same opinion with me. How mean.

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