He called off the wedding....

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Replies

  • angelaanhela
    angelaanhela Posts: 111 Member
    Well this kind of reminds me of my life and the situation I was in. I was your little sister. About to marry a man that everyone could see through, even me. But when you are in the situation you may see the choices your making are wrong but you still rationalize them. Yes my friends and family did let me know that they didnt think it was right but they still loved me and supported me (probably because they knew I'd need them later when it all falls apart).

    Things will work out the way that they will. They will make their choices. But PLEASE still voice your opinions to her. Maybe something you say will be said in a way she hasnt considered yet which will help her later on. Go at it not to attack him but to help her and let her know your concerned because you love you.

    Even though I didnt listen to them at the time, I still GREATLY appreciate everyone who was there with me through it and who cared enough for me to try and warn me but still support me. In the end of course things fell apart and thankfully I was able to dodge that bullet. She has to make her own decisions but definitely try to explain some common sense so that it will linger in her mind for a bit and she can remember it later.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    I hope they're using protection. I hate seeing children brought into crappy situations and relationships.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    your sister sounds doucherific! I'm sorry but 18 is WAY to young to marry! Another thing is that they don't have their S*it together apparently so i'd mind my business and carry on and try and make wiser decisions than what is going on in your family!
  • usernameMAMA
    usernameMAMA Posts: 681 Member
    People are messed up. Co-dependent people are even more messed up. I understand your frustration, especially when your parents were taken out of their hard earned money. Hopefully this is a lesson learned and they will tell her to pay for her own wedding the next time. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about whether your sister decides to talk to him again, just let it be known you don't want to hear their drama anymore.
  • PoliticalRN
    PoliticalRN Posts: 112 Member
    Wow, I don't even have an opinion on something like this. I feel bad for the whole situation but there's always more than one side to the story so I will extend my sympathy and withhold my 2 cents. Good luck!
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    Mind ya bidness.


    (seriously though)

    This.

    Plus it is your parents money, not yours. And your sisters relationship. Dont be upset over someone elses problem.

    I do what I want!

    And so does your sister. Just remember that.
  • momofJandA
    momofJandA Posts: 1,035 Member

    Plus, I'm getting married this year too!
    That's also why this subject is crazy to me, because I don't want to bring up or talk about weddings AT ALLLLL with anyone at this point!
    /: sucks to suck.


    Ahhhh . . . . so the real reason you're upset is because with all of your sister's craziness YOU can't talk about YOUR wedding . . . got it
  • xXxHBICxXx
    xXxHBICxXx Posts: 370 Member
    My sister is 22, young, beautiful and educated she is dating a 19 year old dropout who refuses to even get his GED, they have been together for 3 years now and he has worked maybe 8 months of the time (being that he has no education, he cant really do anything) his mother pays for all his stuff while his money goes for drugs. pot, pills and crack .... I begged my sister to re-evaluate their relationship, take a break from him and see how her life is without him before making a decision to marry him (they have been talking about it for 2 years) instead of re-evaluating her relationship with him, she cut me out. We talk once a month now, if I am lucky and she sent me a text last night telling me they set a date, July 30. I wish I had kept my mouth closed and minded my own 'bidness' (lol) but I just couldn't leave it alone. Drop it, or your sister may very well cut you out of her life instead of him. She has to find out she is worth more than a bad relationship, let her figure it out. If in the future she looks back and sees this mistake and it is too late, she has no one to blame but herself, you tried to help now let it go.
  • cakemewithyou
    cakemewithyou Posts: 132 Member

    Plus, I'm getting married this year too!
    That's also why this subject is crazy to me, because I don't want to bring up or talk about weddings AT ALLLLL with anyone at this point!
    /: sucks to suck.


    Ahhhh . . . . so the real reason you're upset is because with all of your sister's craziness YOU can't talk about YOUR wedding . . . got it

    More than just that, but it definitely adds onto the stress. Thanks for picking apart my words, random person. (;
  • cakemewithyou
    cakemewithyou Posts: 132 Member
    ****update


    Finally talked with my sister tonight, I don't know what some of you people do to your family but my sister would never cut me out of her life. Lol
    We don't talk to each other like that! I just shared how I felt about her decision, and she has assured me that they are going to slow things down.
    Her ex-fiancé will at this time stay distant from her until he can make up his mind as to whether they want to carry the relationship on, or close the door completely.
    It was actually really easy for me to talk with her about HER feelings, rather than bashing him. (Which is what I wanted to do!)

    Communication can be a really good thing when used correctly.
    :)
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Purchase a large box of tissues and stand by with available shoulder to cry on, like all good sisters should.
  • haley255
    haley255 Posts: 117 Member
    Sorry you have to deal with that. Honestly I wouldn't blame you for getting involved and having a talk with your sister. IMO one of the things wrong with this society is this idea that even family members should keep their nose out of their family members' business. That's BS. Isn't family about looking out for each other? Sure if it was some acquaintance I might sit back and watch but when you see a sister/brother etc make decisions that could have long term bad effects then you're right to butt in. It may not make you popular for a while but so what? At least you did something to possibly help her and talk some sense into her.

    exactly what my older sister did and continues to do for me and i for her!

    agreed, I don't care what anyone says, I would definitely be saying something.
  • haley255
    haley255 Posts: 117 Member

    Plus, I'm getting married this year too!
    That's also why this subject is crazy to me, because I don't want to bring up or talk about weddings AT ALLLLL with anyone at this point!
    /: sucks to suck.


    Ahhhh . . . . so the real reason you're upset is because with all of your sister's craziness YOU can't talk about YOUR wedding . . . got it

    You have GOT to be an only child if you really think this would boil down to just that.
  • fitplease
    fitplease Posts: 647 Member
    I know you would want to protect your sister from this guy, but it seems like the type of thing where, if you got in the middle, you could seriously lose your own mental health. If you haven't told her how you feel about this guy and feel like you must, tell her in ONE heart-to-heart conversation and then just let her make her own decision. (It is a very hard thing to do.)

    Give yourself enough emotional space, so you can stay healthy.
  • Stogie40
    Stogie40 Posts: 164 Member
    ****update


    Finally talked with my sister tonight, I don't know what some of you people do to your family but my sister would never cut me out of her life. Lol
    We don't talk to each other like that! I just shared how I felt about her decision, and she has assured me that they are going to slow things down.
    Her ex-fiancé will at this time stay distant from her until he can make up his mind as to whether they want to carry the relationship on, or close the door completely.
    It was actually really easy for me to talk with her about HER feelings, rather than bashing him. (Which is what I wanted to do!)

    Communication can be a really good thing when used correctly.
    :)

    Good for you. Family sticks together and work things out. To ignore problems and not wor k things out will just cause problems later.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    why do you hate love?
  • Papalov100
    Papalov100 Posts: 1,593 Member
    All i have to say is to pray for them
  • aaronlawrenc
    aaronlawrenc Posts: 666 Member
    ...I don't know why some of these comments are so brash. Just because it's not my life, does NOT mean I shouldn't care or be concerned. What kind of sister would I be if I didn't care?
    Obviously some of you aren't very family oriented.
    As I've said in like 3 other responses, I do not plan on getting involved.

    you should get involved
  • aaronlawrenc
    aaronlawrenc Posts: 666 Member
    why do you hate love?

    tumblr_m92kw4tNqu1qzirqxo1_400.gif
  • oneworkoutatatime
    oneworkoutatatime Posts: 312
    If that where my daughter I'd be pissed and I would ask for a refund.
  • AmyMgetsfit
    AmyMgetsfit Posts: 636 Member
    I classic example of why parents should not pay for their kids elaborate weddings unless they have the money to lose. Although I did pay for my daughters wedding dress.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • suelegal
    suelegal Posts: 1,282 Member
    Mind ya bidness.


    (seriously though)

    Might I mention, I have not said a single word to them about what I think about the situation.
    Business has been minded.

    Well, I've read your update, and I'm both glad and amazed that she heard you! I hope you can keep the lines of communication open.

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