real talk.... about adoption surrogacy and sperm banks...

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brandon0523
brandon0523 Posts: 516
in Chit-Chat
Im a 32 year old male i have one child and i have her full time.. i have always wanted another child.. but i dont want the headaches.. i looked into adoption or hiring a surrogate... but this is illegal for absingle male to do in the state of illinois.. i think this is pure hippocracy and bull ****.. a single woman can go to chicago walk into a sperm bank buy a popsicle bingo bango out the door.. i make a couple dollars.. i have raised my daughter alone and she is awesome.. so whats the deal. Why the bull poop..

Opinions???
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Replies

  • LaurySch
    LaurySch Posts: 277 Member
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    It only takes one bad situation for the system to get scared and shut it down for everyone. You are right, there are definitely great guys out there who would make amazing dads, especially for kids who don't have anyone and it isn't fair that they don't even give you the option. And there are single moms who should be spayed and have their kids taken away immediately - and couples as well. My advice is to keep being the best dad for your daughter and find a way to volunteer with kids like through Big Brothers Big Sisters. There's a bunch of kids out there who need a good influence even if it is only a couple of times a week!
  • _Lori_Lynn_
    _Lori_Lynn_ Posts: 460
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    Really? You can't adopt? What? That is the silliest law I have ever heard of.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    http://www.angeladoptioninc.com/hoping-to-adopt-a-baby/single-parent-adoptions.html

    Single parent agency in Illinois. Good luck.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Single male cannot adopt in US? I coulda sworn I know a few single females that have adopted. This really is BS :(
  • brandon0523
    brandon0523 Posts: 516
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    http://www.angeladoptioninc.com/hoping-to-adopt-a-baby/single-parent-adoptions.html

    Single parent agency in Illinois. Good luck.
    thanks
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
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    The headaches = a relationship with the mother?
  • brandon0523
    brandon0523 Posts: 516
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    The headaches = a relationship with the mother?
    for sure..... women today make it horrible for the father if they are not together.. and lets face todays percentage of staying together isnt to hot.. everyone knows atleast one giy who has went through complete hell with his childs mom.. always raping men for child support.. and i mean rapping.. when i didnt have full custody we had joint custody.. we had her equal amount of time each week.. i still had to pay $1000 a month in child support for one child.. no i have full custody.. you know what i get.. $15 a week
  • chrisjathompson
    chrisjathompson Posts: 227 Member
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    The headaches = a relationship with the mother?
    for sure..... women today make it horrible for the father if they are not together.. and lets face todays percentage of staying together isnt to hot.. everyone knows atleast one giy who has went through complete hell with his childs mom.. always raping men for child support.. and i mean rapping.. when i didnt have full custody we had joint custody.. we had her equal amount of time each week.. i still had to pay $1000 a month in child support for one child.. no i have full custody.. you know what i get.. $15 a week

    And with her partial custody, how much of the $1000 do you think was used "for the child". System is flawed in every way.
  • brandon0523
    brandon0523 Posts: 516
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    Amen brother.. my point exactly.. maybe to pay for a babysitter on the weekends she had her so she could go out.. it wasnt day care as my aunt watched her everyday no matter who had her for free.. wasnt rent because she lived with her parents.. wasnt clothes or shoes because i always buy those.. i was a little confused on the matter too
  • chrisjathompson
    chrisjathompson Posts: 227 Member
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    Many times I have considered fostering. I think it's something I would do in the future. (I have a son, I don't need to "make" more)

    Awesome for you thinking about adoption, not too many families do, let alone a single Dad.
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    I'm a single mum with 100% custody and I don't ask my ex for anything. We don't see him and don't want to. We aren't all like that but I understand some women are.

    Anyway, I think it's awesome that you are a full time dad and I think your situation sux. I am not American, so don't have any ideas for you, but if this is what you want, don't give up. I would have loved to have another baby, but it just didn't work out that way. Consider all options. Best of luck.
  • brandon0523
    brandon0523 Posts: 516
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    Thank you sir.. i have time and energy to burn.. might as well put it to use
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
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    Wow this really sux. I'm so sorry it's like that.
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    You know, the other thing is, you are so young, only 32. You might meet a nice girl and get married, or shack up and have a family :smile:
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
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    Men are basically viewed with very strong suspicions when it comes to providing for children alone.

    The family and divorce court system is steeped in laws that are inherently unequal.

    It would seem if you are not a woman, in the eyes of the court, your not fit to be an adoptive or foster parent. I've known many single women who were foster mothers and even adoptive, but men? Plenty of states have basically barred this or made it nearly impossible with red tape.
  • brandon0523
    brandon0523 Posts: 516
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    You know, the other thing is, you are so young, only 32. You might meet a nice girl and get married, or shack up and have a family :smile:
    get married??? Shack up???? No no no.. ive done that before.. i was married and divorced by the age of 20.. she moved another guy in our house when i was deployed overseas. I havent had the best luck with women.. hell if it weren't for the butt sex i might think about being gay
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    LOL! Ok...
    Well never say never. The girl of your dreams just might come along.
    (I'm available) hehe. Jokes..
  • brandon0523
    brandon0523 Posts: 516
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    LOL! Ok...
    Well never say never. The girl of your dreams just might come along.
    (I'm available) hehe. Jokes..
    long distance relationships never last.. dang sorry
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
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    Look, I don't know your situation. I'm sorry if you fell in with someone who didn't treat you well. But not all women are like that. Maybe it's the ones you're picking. Being a d-bag is an equal opportunity gift, lots of men are horrible too.

    But seriously, if you're expressing 1/20th of the hostility you're showing here, even inadvertently, I can't imagine why anyone would give you a kid to adopt. And I would think hard about the messages you're giving your daughter about women. And about her mother, too. If her mom's a d-bag, it'll be up to your daughter to figure it out for herself, because later on, she might hate you for hating her mom. Even if you didn't do anything wrong.
  • brandon0523
    brandon0523 Posts: 516
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    Look, I don't know your situation. I'm sorry if you fell in with someone who didn't treat you well. But not all women are like that. Maybe it's the ones you're picking. Being a d-bag is an equal opportunity gift, lots of men are horrible too.

    But seriously, if you're expressing 1/20th of the hostility you're showing here, even inadvertently, I can't imagine why anyone would give you a kid to adopt. And I would think hard about the messages you're giving your daughter about women. And about her mother, too. If her mom's a d-bag, it'll be up to your daughter to figure out for herself, because later on, she might hate you for hating her mom. Even if you didn't do anything wrong.
    wow clearly a biased opinion of someone they dont know.. hostility. Hmm this is the internet where adults can talk.. i dint think i showed hostility.. but if i did so be it.. my.daughter will never see it.. and as far as how i am with my daughter when the issues with her mom comes up.. hmm her mom is lucky im her childs father.. she is 4 and has already seen enough to make her own decisions and feelings.. but i always correct her and tell her not to think that or say that. So before you give a feminist biased opinion know facts.. if you dont know them dont comment about them..

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