Pro Anorexia on MFP....

Options
135

Replies

  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Options
    1) I have suffered from an addiction that nearly killed me.

    2) Had to cut out everyone who was still active in that lifestyle.

    3) Can now accept - to varying degrees in my life - people who are ACTIVELY in recovery.

    The latter part of number three being absolutely, non-negoitably, imperative.

    Just because someone judges another with a disorder does not mean they don't understand. Often, we are doing it because we, ourselves, cannot afford to be drug back into those hellish waters.

    I can't. Several of my friends on my list can't afford that, either. We are all positive towards each other encouraging our RECOVERY from our disorders. I have cut out/defriended people and will continue to do so active anas or dysfunctional people. MFP is a safe space for me to talk about weight - I will not have that compromised. Not on my friends list and as much as I can help it, not here on the forums, either.

    If I judge you as ill because of your eating habits, do not think I am damning you. I am saying you are sick and I am trying not to get sick again myself.
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
    Options
    I was on pro mia/ ana sites when I was a teenager. ( Mia = Bulimia Ana= Anorexia ) and they aren't all bad. The girls ( and guys ) find support, but generally when one of them goes too far the others will take care of them, and try to get them "better" .
    I'd rather see girls on here with people that know what's going on, than have them do it all alone. And don't say they wouldn't do it if they didn't have sites for support, I was sick for years before I found such a field.
    It is sad when I see it, but I know the way their minds tick and have both sympathy and anger towards them. But guess what!? You are on the internet! No limitations.

    yet your "inspiration" is your 15 year old self and her 100lb weight loss in 9 months...

    *waits to see if someone is going to call Mod for this one*


    Because my fifteeen year old self was self destructive and weighed 230 pounds, silly...

    so how is that inspiration?
  • acm2789
    acm2789 Posts: 29 Member
    Options
    Well yes there are loads and recently they keep requesting me...someone on my FL pointed out it's because I have 'skinny' as part of my username. I soon realised they all know each other and add the same people.

    I really did try and be supportive, but of course they're not going to listen to me and to be frank I found it really depressing reading their status' .

    This has happened to me recently too. while I tried to be positive, there is only so much you can do online. I wanna be supportive but this site is for me and my health and having people on here eating so little is not supporting my health.
  • randoswife
    randoswife Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    When I was a teenager and young adult I tried crazy stuff to lose weight, that I can now see that I didn't even need to lose. While I still may see myself as heavier that I am, I do know that starving myself ect...is not the way to go. I can look back at old pictures and be embarrassed and ashamed of the skin and bones person I was...and that at the time I thought I looked great!!

    Even today, knowing that I'm bigger than I have ever been, when I look in the mirror I wonder if my perception of myself is accurate. Luckily I have a wonderful husband that I let be my eyes when it comes to that. He says I'm gorgeous, so if he doesn't see what I see then I'm certainly not gonna force him too! LOL
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    Options
    Weight loss and fitness sites will always suffer from these problems. The problem is if the people around them in real life can't get them to get some medical help then this just adds fuel to the fire because now they see the actual numbers they're putting in. Though to those that understand how Anorexia works and knows the dangers it can be a very helpful tool to help them lose weight and keep it off while staying healthy at the same time. Its a double edge sword.

    On the Fitness side it seems quite tame. Though 90% of the site is used for dieters I'm convinced.

    It'd be nice if MFP would put more information to ED on the site where its easy for everyone to see. Namely with links and numbers to support groups that can help save a life.
    I love that suggestion! Great idea.
  • kerrymh
    kerrymh Posts: 912 Member
    Options
    Anorexia/Bulimia/Overeating...might not look like the same disease but in many ways they are...its about using control over food or lack there of to try and solve problems and cope with life in unhealthy ways.
    I do not tend to comment on peoples food diaries...because I do not want to encourage behavior that is not healthy..I don't rely on people commenting on my food choices either to know if I had a healthy day and used food for fuel rather than to deal with my emotions.
    I have introduced food addiction programs to people who seem to have issues with binges..and I don't know if they looked into the concept or not. But its helped me so I offer that when I can.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    Options
    Weight loss and fitness sites will always suffer from these problems. The problem is if the people around them in real life can't get them to get some medical help then this just adds fuel to the fire because now they see the actual numbers they're putting in. Though to those that understand how Anorexia works and knows the dangers it can be a very helpful tool to help them lose weight and keep it off while staying healthy at the same time. Its a double edge sword.

    On the Fitness side it seems quite tame. Though 90% of the site is used for dieters I'm convinced.

    It'd be nice if MFP would put more information to ED on the site where its easy for everyone to see. Namely with links and numbers to support groups that can help save a life.
    I love that suggestion! Great idea.
    ETA: Sorry I missed it, a moderator already posted info on getting help for eating disorders. If you suffer from one, seek help!
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    Options
    Anorexia is actually the most fatal mental illness. It's sad. I had Mia tendencies as a teen but now realize how wrong hat was
  • Hadabetter
    Hadabetter Posts: 941 Member
    Options
    I have an MFP friend with some ED issues and it breaks my heart.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    Options
    I am not a clinician, nutritionist, doctor, nurse, etc. I did, however work for a mental health agency once. One of the LISWs there specialized in helping people overcome ED. She once told me that it is the most difficult disorder to treat, because the sufferer refuses to do the very thing they need to do: EAT.

    It is ALL about control or lack of control.

    And nothing will change with that person until they, like any other addicted person, bottom out. No matter how many anonymous posters TRY to help, nothing you say or do will sink in or change. Unfortunately, that often includes cardiac arrest before recovery.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Options
    ETA: some parents will place their anorexic children in hospitals/clinics where they are force fed, I've not heard of any parents sending their obese children to similar places to lose weight.

    Sure they do, because anorexia and bulimia can kill someone relatively quickly. There are tons of medical complications that come with these disorders. You don't have to be underweight to die from them. When someone is force/tube fed, there's a compelling medical reason for it.

    Parents with children who have eating or medical disorders that cause them to eat uncontrollably or to eat non-food items do have to go to unusual measures to help their children too, including locks on refrigerators or even bedroom doors. If a child were uncontrollable and was gaining weight so rapidly his life were in imminent danger, I would hope his parents would seek whatever kind of medical intervention, including hospitalization, were necessary to save him.
  • NicoleisQuantized
    NicoleisQuantized Posts: 344 Member
    Options
    MFP is a wonderful tool for those on the road to recovery from an ED. Though calorie counting tools are triggering, surrounding oneself with friends who have healthy views of adequate caloric intake and exercise is wonderfully therapeutic.

    ETA: I would like to add that ED's are about control. For those who are suffering from mental health illness(es), these destructive behaviours refocus the pain and emotional distress outwards that would otherwise be turned inwards.

    That is my personal experience, anyways.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    Options
    I believe I've accepted some requests from such individuals.

    I have no idea why they request me except that they still want interaction with different people. I'm hoping they will learn that you can eat and stay thin. I don't delete them because they aren't influencing me, though, I hope I influence them. They're people too, and I just hope they overcome the ED if they in fact have it.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    Options
    It is sad. One of my friends yesterday said that she had to do insanity last night because she ate way too much. She had 900 cals yesterday. May have to delete her if that keeps going on, I can't support that.

    Unless it triggers your own disorder, or makes you feel badly about yourself, why delete her? It's not your fault that she did that, and you aren't condoning her behavior by being friends with her. If it's hurting you, go ahead. Otherwise, just be your healthy self.
  • suz155
    suz155 Posts: 326 Member
    Options
    I think the main thing we all need to remember is being overweight or underweight can kill. We are here to help ourselves and, hopefully, support others from, a recovery from lousy living to good living. Its hard, really hard. Too much food will kill some, too little food will kill others. I think MFP is a perfect place for people on both sides. Glad its here for me.
  • maggs155
    maggs155 Posts: 258
    Options
    If men don't stop telling me I am fat, I may develop an eating disorder. I can feel it coming. I am getting tired of hearing how, "fat" I am by the guys. I shouldn't care, but I am starting to really do some desperate things to lose weight . I don't ever want to have to hear it again.
  • maggs155
    maggs155 Posts: 258
    Options
    I had a boyfriend always tell me that then when i broke up he goes oh no u look good the way u r???? dont listen as to ur pic u look awesome some people need to watch what they say!!!!!!! And sometimes no matter how much weight we loose we dont see how good we look because a lot of people r hard on there self.
  • hannyz08
    hannyz08 Posts: 31
    Options
    I have never actually seen any pro anorexia people on here, I always see on peoples profiles "DONT ADD ME IF YOU ARE PRO-ANA!!!" I have never, ever seen any so Im wondering how common it actually is on here.
  • LeighAnna23
    Options
    I agree that this is one any dieting site but even if they put links the girls and guys would not click them.
  • alsoagood1
    alsoagood1 Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    My step daughter was heavy in some of the Pro Ani sites when she was younger and really messed her body up - at her worst she was down to 68 pounds and looked worse than a holocust survivor - there was nothing we could do because she had all the control over her body. It is so sad because now that she's in her mid 20's and married she wants children so badly and has been told there is little if any change of that happening because of her behavior earlier in her life.

    When I see young men and women doing this to themselves I want to shake them and tell them how damaging this type of behavior is - but I know that only makes them want the "control" even more.

    It's sad when there are children in this country who go to bed hungry and these kids are purposly starving themselves.....so sad.