bullying in the workplace

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  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    document everything you can and find a lawyer to sue under "harassment due to hostile work environment".
    this

    I'm sorry but I don't think obese people are not a protected class under the civil rights act, which I think you need to be for such a suit to hold any ground:

    http://www.fcc.gov/encyclopedia/understanding-workplace-harassment-fcc-staff

    my advice is use it to fuel your own work outs and to motivate you to eat healthy. That's why you're here right?

    Beyond that, I can't give you any advice. I don't know enough about the situation. But if someone talked to me like that, I would be so annoyed by their superficiality that I wouldn't pay them any mind.
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
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    wow it's like high school all over again. teenage girls are monsters. i would just confront them next time i heard them talking about me. i wouldn't consider this bullying though more like bishes being bishes
  • avababy05
    avababy05 Posts: 930 Member
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    Is this junior high, or a big girl job?

    Who cares what these people think or say? If they're attacking you, they're obviously insecure and possibly jealous. Take it as a compliment that they care so much to talk about you.

    If it were me, I'd tell them that I WAS pregnant, but they're comments made me so upset I lost the baby. Rofl

    That last line,not so funny
  • RoadToHappiness92
    RoadToHappiness92 Posts: 58
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    Let me get this straight, you're being bullied by some coworkers, teenage girls, at the gym you work at? Hmmm. ...how do I respond without coming off like an *kitten*?

    Think, think!

    Got it.

    What?! Seriously, you're letting teenage girls get to you? It's a scientifically proven fact that teenage girls are the worst group of individuals on the planet, while simultaneously being the least relevant group of individuals on the planet.

    FACT.

    You might be asking yourself how that's possible, being horrible and irrelevant at the same time, but I'm not a scientist, so I can't tell you. Just know it's science, and science is always factual.

    If you aren't going to shut them down to their faces (which would be my choice) by shoving them into a locker or something, then why waste your energy caring at all? Am I the only one stuck on the fact that your coworkers are teenage girls? I'm guessing you are not a teenager girl yourself, which makes this all the more bizarre. Either ignore them, push them into the gyms pool after some kid and/or elderly person has peed in it, or, if you must, and only if their behavior is really egregious, talk to a supervisor (from what you described it sounds no where near really egregious, so maybe not this option).

    Honestly, I think maybe, just maybe, you should be a little less concerned about them acting like, well, teenage girls, and more concerned with why you're so concerned about it, especially when you seem to be unwilling to stick up for yourself. It sounds like your self esteem is the bigger issue here, not their immaturity. We can't control our environment - we can only control how we respond to it. So, if your current situation isn't working for you, I suggest you start responding differently. ...and in my own personal opinion, a great response can be as simple as an elbow to the face.

    I wouldn't care if it was anything other than my weight or mental health issues.
    They could call me a retard, loser, idiot and it wouldn't affect me. There are just certain topics which push my buttons.. since I have already lost 20kgs and I'm in the process of losing more...
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Okay, seriously, now you're getting absolutely terrible advice all 'round. It doesn't matter if the people are teenaged girls or elderly women. Disrespect is disrespect and it hampers the work environment quite equally. The idea that you shouldn't bring this to the attention of the administration because it doesn't seem that important or because your boss might also be immature or a **** is ****ing ludicrous. They can be *kitten* all they want in their personal lives, but it is not acceptable in the workplace and if your immediate supervisor or the location manager opt not to take you seriously, you go speak to human resources immediately and file a complaint on everyone involved.

    In fact, talk to HR before you talk to your manager, even. This is disgusting treatment and not only do you not have to put it up with it, you SHOULDN'T put up with it. These inconsiderate egorats need to understand that this kind of clique'ish, hurtful behavior is not welcome in a professional setting, and especially when the topic of their critique is the exact thing that many of their customers are at their location to work on, effectively giving THEM a measure of job security.

    If you want to say something to them, then here's my advice. Approach one or each of them individually (so they can't fall back on the crutch of mob mentality and tune you out) and tell them that this behavior is unprofessional, unacceptable, and is going to stop immediately, and that you are going to (or have spoken to) HR about it.

    But yeah, I would just speak directly to HR. You don't owe them a damned thing. What your employers and your HR department owes YOU, however, is a comfortable work environment.

    And going to the HR officer will make her less popular and talked about. It is not school or kindergarten. At the end of the day the other workers may be really good at their jobs.

    Just because the OP has an issue with the co workers does not mean that they do not have an issue with her.

    I understand the whole concept of reporting, but we do not know both sides of the story.

    IMHO the first call is speaking to the co workers. Sometimes you can not afford to leave a job because you do not like the people you work with.
  • RoadToHappiness92
    RoadToHappiness92 Posts: 58
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    document everything you can and find a lawyer to sue under "harassment due to hostile work environment".
    this

    I'm sorry but I don't think obese people are not a protected class under the civil rights act, which I think you need to be for such a suit to hold any ground:

    http://www.fcc.gov/encyclopedia/understanding-workplace-harassment-fcc-staff

    my advice is use it to fuel your own work outs and to motivate you to eat healthy. That's why you're here right?

    Beyond that, I can't give you any advice. I don't know enough about the situation. But if someone talked to me like that, I would be so annoyed by their superficiality that I wouldn't pay them any mind.

    I'm not even obese, just a couple of kgs overweight..
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Bullying, verb: Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.

    This isn't bullying, it's just rude.

    Act like an adult and confront people instead of acting like a child yourself.

    How is asking about advice in a sticky situation acting like a child?

    Bringing it to the boss's attention before talking to her co-workers about it is acting like a child.

    I'd actually have to disagree with you on this. It can be unwise, at times, to confront a coworker -- especially with miniscule things as "I thought you were talking about me behind my back" -- so bringing it to a higher-up can be less messy and risky of you, yourself, looking like the instigator.
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
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    I wouldn't care if it was anything other than my weight or mental health issues.
    They could call me a retard, loser, idiot and it wouldn't affect me. There are just certain topics which push my buttons.. since I have already lost 20kgs and I'm in the process of losing more...

    so what if they think "you're pregnant or just fat" you are changing it! don't let what they think about you get you down because YOU know you are working on yourself. they're just being catty because as women most of us are sensitive about our weight.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
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    You work in a gym, a place where physical appearance dominates. You are never going to be happy there unless you learn to ignore their comments. People talk everywhere you go, unfortunately that includes the work place. I agree with some of the others, you just need to get in their face, and say "I heard what you said about me and I don't appreciate it. I want to tell you it hurt my feelings. BUT I am working to improve by ____, and I appreciate your support by not making comments in the workplace."

    You should also tell your boss that you do not want to cause a problem, but that you have heard them talking. Better to tell your boss about it before they hear about it "through the grapevine."
  • JasonAxelrod
    JasonAxelrod Posts: 58 Member
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    And going to the HR officer will make her less popular and talked about. It is not school or kindergarten. At the end of the day the other workers may be really good at their jobs.

    Just because the OP has an issue with the co workers does not mean that they do not have an issue with her.

    I understand the whole concept of reporting, but we do not know both sides of the story.

    IMHO the first call is speaking to the co workers. Sometimes you can not afford to leave a job because you do not like the people you work with.
    You make it seem like Human Resources is a punitive measure alone. It isn't. The fact that we (and likely OP) doesn't know both sides of the story is the whole point of why she should go to HR! It's not their job to point a finger at someone, yell, "Bad!" and slap them on the wrist. It's their job to solve problems between co-workers, which means exploring said both sides and finding out a way to bring the conflict to a resolution. First of all, it seems pretty clear that her co-workers don't have much regard for her in the first place, so the idea of "losing popularity" is silly (although I would argue that other co-workers not involved in this behavior might admire the bravery to stand up to it). Bot more importantly, if the behavior worsened because she went to HR, then what she does next is she goes BACK to HR, and they escalate how they address the issue.

    HR exists for this very purpose and if OP is not comfortable talking through it on her own with these people, this is the best thing she can do.
  • Tat2dDom0105
    Tat2dDom0105 Posts: 661
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    That doesn't sound like bullying by a longshot. But what i would do is to just tell the person involved (in a nice and calm manner), that you in fact are not fat, and if they have any other questions about you and your appearance, that you can discuss it in private with them. See what kind of reaction they get from that....
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    Talk to your coworkers first to find out if there is anything going on to cause them to want to talk about you. If that doesn't work go to your direct supervisor about it as well. Just keep going up talking to people until you have to talk to HR and file harassment charges if needed. But yea, at least try to talk to them first.
    And it's the work place. Drama happens. I usually just move on because not everyone is going to like everyone else
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    oh snap. i just saw the part now that they are teenage girls and you work in a gym.
    if that's the case, just move on and ignore them. they're teenage girls. that's what they do.
  • louiselebeau
    louiselebeau Posts: 220 Member
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    They're teen girls, so it shouldn't be any surprise to you that they act like that. If it really bothers you, put cat turds in their purse when they aren't looking.

    Or put a box of condoms with one missing in their purse. (this can lead to all sorts of drama)
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
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    Grow a set and talk to your coworkers first.

    Rude.
    Dude, my coworkers have been there 10x longer than me and are mostly teenage girls. What's going to stop them?

    who cares how long they have been there and how old they are....get in your bosses off and state you feel you are being harassed or bullied. ask to see the employee handbook and see if there is a section under bullying or harassment.
  • laurynwithawhy
    laurynwithawhy Posts: 385 Member
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    I would file a letter with your boss first and foremost, even if it wont do anything, even if you decide you don't care. You need to establish a pattern and have it documented in case it gets so bad that you need to quit, you will still be eligible for unemployment because it was an unhealthy work environment. I've been in that situation and DIDN'T take those steps and just brushed stuff off, I wish I could go back and document everything. Even though it's not really bullying it sucks and is annoying and you shouldn't have to deal with that at work.
  • nakfam
    nakfam Posts: 11 Member
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    You definitely don't want to go to the boss until you've attempted to address it. I'd document everything as you work to remedy the situation, so if need be, you have an account of what's going on in case you need to bring it to your boss.
  • s07civic
    s07civic Posts: 50 Member
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    I started a new job about a month ago and the other people I have been working with have made a few comments I have overheard.

    Yesterday one of the receptionists asked someone else if they think I am pregnant or just fat and then this morning one of the other PT's was like to the receptionists.. "Oh I was going to tell you something but I can't now" nodding her head my way.
    I thought this was a great job, and it is.. But these comments are making me feel really insecure and down on myself, and like I don't want to go to work...

    Should I bring it to the bosses attention, or is that causing too much drama?
    Maybe crack a joke that their boyfriend got you pregnant. They won't know what to say.
  • Amy62575
    Amy62575 Posts: 422 Member
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    “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
    ― Eleanor Roosevelt

    If you want it to stop, it's up to you to speak up for yourself. I like some of the other suggestions posted here, but I am also reminded that if people believe they are getting to you, their behavior usually becomes worse. With that in mind, I'd think if you totally ignore them, you may have better luck. After all, they are teenagers.

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