Is it jealousy? Or should I stop losing?
Options
Erikalynne18
Posts: 555 Member
"You're shrinking away!" (in an concerned voice)
"You've lost enough already, you should eat this...." (hands over junk food)
Is anyone else encountering similiar comments? I have lost 28 lbs so far since September (so at a healthy rate) through healthier choices, portion sizes, and activity. But it seems the comments have suddenly changed from "It's really starting to show, good for you!" to something that suggests people (outside of MFP) think I have an eating disorder! I consistantly net around 1450- 1600 calories a day so I don't believe I have an ED! I even eat back my excercise calories too.
So any suggestions? Have you had similiar comments? I don't want to give this up since I am close to my goal weight (7 lbs left- although I'm more concerned now with toneing than the scale). However, it is ackward when someone makes these comments. I try to explain that I eat MORE now (just healthier) than I did before, but I'm not sure if they believe me though lol.
Concern? Jealousy? Little of both? Interested to read the replies
"You've lost enough already, you should eat this...." (hands over junk food)
Is anyone else encountering similiar comments? I have lost 28 lbs so far since September (so at a healthy rate) through healthier choices, portion sizes, and activity. But it seems the comments have suddenly changed from "It's really starting to show, good for you!" to something that suggests people (outside of MFP) think I have an eating disorder! I consistantly net around 1450- 1600 calories a day so I don't believe I have an ED! I even eat back my excercise calories too.
So any suggestions? Have you had similiar comments? I don't want to give this up since I am close to my goal weight (7 lbs left- although I'm more concerned now with toneing than the scale). However, it is ackward when someone makes these comments. I try to explain that I eat MORE now (just healthier) than I did before, but I'm not sure if they believe me though lol.
Concern? Jealousy? Little of both? Interested to read the replies
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Replies
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unless they live in your body, they have no say.
ignore the nay-sayers; do what YOU want do to. you will never be happy if you always listen to other people.0 -
I will list some stats in case anyone is wondering.
SW- 165
CW- 137
GW- 130
Height- 5'6
Current measurements:
Bust- 39
Waist- 28.5
Hips- 36
I don't believe these are "too low".0 -
I think your goals are reasonable. Do what is best for you and don't worry about what other people say. Maybe it's jealousy, maybe it's not. Hard to tell. Just do you and enjoy being healthy.
Congrats on the weight loss!0 -
I get this all the time. It's not that I don't eat, I have a really healthy appetite and eat more than ever since starting to use MFP properly, i just exercise a lot and stay slim. I just tend to ignore everyone. I feel better in myself and that's all that matters
Ax0 -
Well they are not use to you being smaller perhaps so may bet o them you look to thin now.Its hard sometimes to see a person lose wieght and go from overwieght to normal wieght.No worries its not jealousy really Im sure after losing the rest of my wieght people will tell me the same thing but instead of them thinking I was overwieght before they look at me and say really I couldn't tell.So its sorta wierd for me since Im overwieght still,but some of my friends who havent seen me a in a couple months say I look great not lost wieght but better. by the way you have done an amazing job so far !!0
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Thanks for the support girls! I really am loving this site and maybe Mrsmiller84 is right in that people just aren't used to seeing me at a healthy rate so in comparison they believe it's too low. I really am just trying to be a better, healthier me So it kind of caught me off guard when people seem to think I am becoming unhealthy :S lol. Oh well, maybe it will just take them time to get used to the new me 0
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Fat is "normal"...lean isn't. People are used to seeing people, at minimum, being overweight. I forget the study, but I was reading one several months back when I was trying to determine my goal weight and BF%...it was all about truly healthy weights and BF% vs what people perceived to be healthy.
Just as an example, a 35 year old 5'10" male (avg) weight about 180-185 with a BF of 22-25% was visually considered to look "healthy" In reality, this is an unhealthy BF% and weight (unless it was muscle) and puts the individual of those same stats at moderate risk for heart disease, diabetes, and other diseases.
Conversely, a male of the same stats was considered by most in the study to look too thin at 173 Lbs and 19% BF...the very highest end of healthy.
People are used to seeing fat *kitten*, plain and simple.0 -
It may be envy. When I am heavy, people don't say a word with their mouths, but I see the look on their faces (friends) when they look me up and down.
However, when I am losing weight the women will say, "you're getting too thin" - even when my BMI still says I'm overweight, etc. I don't know what the deal is, but you're not alone.
Maybe they just aren't used to seeing you look like that and it is a shock to them. Or what I bet it is. . .MISERY LOVES COMPANY. Is it usually the overweight ones which tell you that you're overweight? That was the case in my situation.0 -
This is the beauty of MFP..
I am about 2" larger around my waist than you, same other measurements but I'm at 168lbs. I think you should do what works for you... maybe focus less on the GW, its only a #. Focus on becoming more fit, which doesn't necessarily mean that you have to drop any more weight. Make yourself happy, that's all that matters.. personally I don't want to weigh as much as you do and maybe that's where your friends/family have concern. I don't really think they are being jealous but I don't know them.
Best of luck to you0 -
I'm 5'7" and I get this all the time. Since I've been at goal I've been told my breasts are too small, I am too skinny, gain back 5 pounds.
I think I look great and I'm happy. I hate hearing this and never hear this at all from people who did not know me when I was overweight. It's only people who knew me before who make these comments. I think it's not a reflection on my weight or looks now, but more the dramatic difference that they are reacting to. I lost 60 pounds in a year in a reasonable healthy way. I did it textbook, but still I think for some people it can be a little jarring and dramatic to see a substantially smaller person where a larger one used to be.
If I was getting questions from people who meet me now about my looks (are you okay/are you sick/are you hungry?) I would take them more seriously.0 -
This is the beauty of MFP..
I am about 2" larger around my waist than you, same other measurements but I'm at 168lbs. I think you should do what works for you... maybe focus less on the GW, its only a #. Focus on becoming more fit, which doesn't necessarily mean that you have to drop any more weight. Make yourself happy, that's all that matters.. personally I don't want to weigh as much as you do and maybe that's where your friends/family have concern. I don't really think they are being jealous but I don't know them.
Best of luck to you
Everyone has different body shapes and carries weight differently, it's crazy how different our bodies are! lol. I hate my bust (back aches!) but I have learned to love my curves since I've been working out Have you checked out http://www.mybodygallery.com/ ? So many different shapes, it's great 0 -
This is the beauty of MFP..
I am about 2" larger around my waist than you, same other measurements but I'm at 168lbs. I think you should do what works for you... maybe focus less on the GW, its only a #. Focus on becoming more fit, which doesn't necessarily mean that you have to drop any more weight. Make yourself happy, that's all that matters.. personally I don't want to weigh as much as you do and maybe that's where your friends/family have concern. I don't really think they are being jealous but I don't know them.
Best of luck to you
It's funny that you say that. I'm 5'7'' 165 same bust measurement, an inch smaller in the waist and 4 inches bigger in the hips (I know where all my fat is right now, lol)...
OP, Your measurements right now seem healthy (and very attractive congratulations) but since you only want to lose 7 pounds, I'd say you aren't exactly shooting for "unhealthy" territory. No one but you gets to live in your body and look in the mirror every day. I would say that I wouldn't get too attached to a number but that if you want to lose a few more pounds, you are probably fine to do so.
I do think that a lot of the time people are just surprised by how different you look and may be legitimately concerned for your well being but mostly just because they aren't used to seeing you at a healthy weight.0 -
I think you look hot."You're shrinking away!" (in an concerned voice)
"You've lost enough already, you should eat this...." (hands over junk food)
Is anyone else encountering similiar comments? I have lost 28 lbs so far since September (so at a healthy rate) through healthier choices, portion sizes, and activity. But it seems the comments have suddenly changed from "It's really starting to show, good for you!" to something that suggests people (outside of MFP) think I have an eating disorder! I consistantly net around 1450- 1600 calories a day so I don't believe I have an ED! I even eat back my excercise calories too.
So any suggestions? Have you had similiar comments? I don't want to give this up since I am close to my goal weight (7 lbs left- although I'm more concerned now with toneing than the scale). However, it is ackward when someone makes these comments. I try to explain that I eat MORE now (just healthier) than I did before, but I'm not sure if they believe me though lol.
Concern? Jealousy? Little of both? Interested to read the replies0 -
If I was getting questions from people who meet me now about my looks (are you okay/are you sick/are you hungry?) I would take them more seriously.
Good point! I'll try to keep an eye out for this I don't believe any one new has made negative/concerned comments so far 0 -
It's funny that you say that. I'm 5'7'' 165 same bust measurement, an inch smaller in the waist and 4 inches bigger in the hips (I know where all my fat is right now, lol)...
OP, Your measurements right now seem healthy (and very attractive congratulations) but since you only want to lose 7 pounds, I'd say you aren't exactly shooting for "unhealthy" territory. No one but you gets to live in your body and look in the mirror every day. I would say that I wouldn't get too attached to a number but that if you want to lose a few more pounds, you are probably fine to do so.
I do think that a lot of the time people are just surprised by how different you look and may be legitimately concerned for your well being but mostly just because they aren't used to seeing you at a healthy weight.
Aww thank you I have worked my butt off I tell you but it has so been worth it Since New Years I have increased my calories and added in strength training so I think that has helped me shave off some inches! The 7 lbs left would bring me to my previous lowest weight when I was in the best shape of my life! That's why I picked it, but I'm not too concerned if I reach it or not And I agree, it might just be the comparison to my old weight that has caused concern 0 -
I think you look hot.
HAHAHA... thanks for the compliment 0 -
It may be envy. When I am heavy, people don't say a word with their mouths, but I see the look on their faces (friends) when they look me up and down.
However, when I am losing weight the women will say, "you're getting too thin" - even when my BMI still says I'm overweight, etc. I don't know what the deal is, but you're not alone.
Maybe they just aren't used to seeing you look like that and it is a shock to them. Or what I bet it is. . .MISERY LOVES COMPANY. Is it usually the overweight ones which tell you that you're overweight? That was the case in my situation.
it's good to know I'm not the only one getting these comments! Oh well, consensus seems to say I am still healthy so I will keep on treking to the ultimate me 
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When you weigh want YOU want to weigh, then you have confidence. Nothing looks or feels better than that.
congrats on your weight loss.0 -
On my previous trip down my road to healthy, lean weight for me I was within 5 pounds of my goal weight and feeling on top of the world. The world kept battering at me with those comments --you're too skinny, aren't you done losing weight yet, you look fine--don't lose any more weight. It was exhausting and it wore at me and I let up on my goals--a pound here and a pound there crept up on me. Then, I had severe appendicitis and it took over two years to recover and the rest of the weight returned during that time. DON"T LISTEN TO THOSE VOICES!!!!!! BE STRONG and CONGRATULATIONS! Buy some fun clothes, walk tall and enjoy your hard work and dedication and keep working hard and being dedicated to a better healthier you! Just wait until you start hearing....well if I had "XYZ" what you have or had I could lose weight too.....
Again congratulations and believe in the new you--it's precious!0 -
DON"T LISTEN TO THOSE VOICES!!!!!! BE STRONG and CONGRATULATIONS!
^This times a thousand.0
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