Is it jealousy? Or should I stop losing?

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  • aprmay
    aprmay Posts: 216 Member
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    Congratulations! I think you look awesome!
    You don't seem like you are doing anything unhealthy, so ignore the naysayers and keep rockin' it.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I think by everything you said...you seem fine and so does your final goal of maybe seven more pounds but toning being more important. I don't know if jealousy is the impetus for those remarks or a real and true fear that you are "headed" in a bad direction. ED's are scary and so many of us know so little about it or how it comes about or what it really actually looks like that maybe they are just preemptively warning. Jumping the gun so to speak. I suspect once time passes and you only get musclier/leaner but not thinner or gaunt. Those comments will go by the wayside. Congratulations judging by your wall you have made great progress and I wish you luck on the final phase of your goals.
  • kristaketter
    kristaketter Posts: 4 Member
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    I have to tell you I know exactly what you are going through. My grandmother has always told me ( I was chubby as a kid, got skinny then gained weight back and now I am losing it again) that I needed to lose weight, that I was too chubby, that clothes would never fit me. Once I started MFP and began losing she tried shoving all sorts of candies and cakes and such in my face. I think you have to do what feels good for you and know that you are not alone with the struggles of weight loss. I think at some point it can become jealousy, but instead of being cruel back; approach the situation with a "you should join me on MFP, you will be amamzed." I wish you lots and lots of luck.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    Nope, you are not alone at all.

    What's really bad is I eat around 2000 calories a day, but some folks make me feel like I have an eating disorder because I'm choose to pass up a piece of cake.

    Fat people are also used to seeing other fat people.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    i get this all the time.
    i think part of it too is people are getting used to overweight being the norm, so when someone is average or leaner, they get remarks like you are so small! no. everyone else is just large.
    but yeah, if you are eating enough, you feel fine and have reasonable goals, screw em all. do you.
  • mikegl1
    mikegl1 Posts: 238 Member
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    A difference. Once they get used to it nothing will seem that drastic and they'll live with it. For me, before I got hurt again, I had my GFs sister tell me the same sort of stuff. Now she thinks I looks fine..... once healed and I start losing again I am sure she will think some of the same stuff as I lose more.
  • The_Kid84
    The_Kid84 Posts: 28
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    I personally haven't experienced this other than through my 5 year old daughter. Other classmate parents always crack jokes about her being thin asking if she eats well... I usually just laugh and shake my head. That kid regularly puts me to shame at the table. I think they are just used to seeing over weight kids in the classroom. I know for a fact there are a few in her class that prob weigh about 2-3 times and are shorter... I'd much rather have her been healthy and active and appear smaller verses a kid sitting in front of the tv all day.

    So I see no difference in adults. Overweight is the norm sadly.
  • NicoleisQuantized
    NicoleisQuantized Posts: 344 Member
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    unless they live in your body, they have no say.

    ignore the nay-sayers; do what YOU want do to. you will never be happy if you always listen to other people.


    QFT
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
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    I believe in today's language they are called "haters". People ask if you have cancer, or if you are sick, blah blah blah...Open up any picture of any get together in 1978, and you won't see any fat people. Go anywhere in public (Walmart is good)...and just keep a mental note of the overweight people...the paradigm has shifted, in a bad way. Fat is the new normal. Keep up the good fight. Switch normal back to normal.
  • kazzsjourney
    kazzsjourney Posts: 674 Member
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    I did get those comments....and it messes with your head. You (and I) need to build a bubble and let the external comments bounce off us. It really comes down how you feel...if your not satisfied yet keep going (presuming you are not underweight) :)
  • Erikalynne18
    Erikalynne18 Posts: 555 Member
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    thanks for all the supportive comments everyone :) Really means alot! And it feels good to have reassurance that I am not doing something wrong/unhealthy. I'm sure these negatives comments will (hopefully) go away once people realize I AM trying to reshape my body in a healthy way :)
  • tommygirl15
    tommygirl15 Posts: 1,012 Member
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    Yes, this absolutely happens to me too, and you're not alone. It's not very encouraging, but if you know you are doing what's right for your body then you have to develop a bit of a thick skin to these comments. Keep doing what you're doing :)
  • Sunny_fit4life
    Sunny_fit4life Posts: 157 Member
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    Your goals and stats seem reasonable and healthy... possibly on the thinner side of healthy, but not underweight. It's probably a mixture of concern & jealousy.

    I will tell you I got similar comments after losing 20 lbs. I weighed 190 lbs and am 5'5"! A friend commented that I was fine the way I was and should stop dieting. I'm like seriously? I'm obviously at an unhealthy weight.

    My point is that women are weird.
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
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    I will list some stats in case anyone is wondering.
    SW- 165
    CW- 137
    GW- 130
    Height- 5'6
    Current measurements:
    Bust- 39
    Waist- 28.5
    Hips- 36

    I don't believe these are "too low".
    Forgot to add my reply! I am 5' 5 1/2" tall. I went from 205 to 132.6 before (ahem) the holidays. I was told I'm tiny..... I do wear a size 4. I think I am just "normal" now, but have heard similar comments, from husband, friends, & acquaintances. I think my husband is concerned, some of the women may have a tinge of jealousy, and some probably think that anything below a size 12 is too small.

    Personally, I never even in my wildest dreams thought I'd be a size 4! My measurements are very similar to yours (trading boobs for hips). You may be too young to remember but on the Miss America and Miss World pageants they always stated their measurements: 36-24-36. Wouldn't you just kill for those? = D I'd need boob implants and a Scarlett O'Hara corset to achieve those measurements! You are fine! I can tell by your picture. You look great. Not anorexic! I need more muscles and time to make them. I am skinny fat now.
  • Cindyinpg
    Cindyinpg Posts: 3,902 Member
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    It may be envy. When I am heavy, people don't say a word with their mouths, but I see the look on their faces (friends) when they look me up and down.

    However, when I am losing weight the women will say, "you're getting too thin" - even when my BMI still says I'm overweight, etc. I don't know what the deal is, but you're not alone.

    Maybe they just aren't used to seeing you look like that and it is a shock to them. Or what I bet it is. . .MISERY LOVES COMPANY. Is it usually the overweight ones which tell you that you're overweight? That was the case in my situation.
    ^^^^
    This has been my experience as well. Healthy people are quite supportive, but overweight friends and acquaintances are beginning to make ridiculous comments like, "You should go see a doctor and make sure you're not sick, becasue you are losing weight too fast"... or "you're getting too thin". When, in reality, I rarely lose more than 2lbs a week and have just lately gotten to an overweight BMI, from an obese one. Nor do they like hearing that I am losing weight through healthy eating and exercise: they want me to start talking about miracle diets and magic pills. :noway:
  • bumblebums
    bumblebums Posts: 2,181 Member
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    I would suggest looking for some more like-minded friends.

    http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0167629608000362
    http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmsa066082
    http://circ.ahajournals.org/content/118/4/428.short
  • Lunira
    Lunira Posts: 33
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    Sounds like jealousy to me, of the "You're hotter than me, whaa!" type. Lol.

    Edit: And as an adult, you don't have to explain, excuse, or justify your eating habits to anyone. I hate to say this, but there's a lot of people out there who simply don't understand the concept of personal boundaries... they act as if they have the God-given right to critique and criticize literally any and every choice you make, as if you are a small child and they are your mother. Then when you call them on this unbelievably presumptuous, controlling behavior, they try to pass it off as "caring" or being "concerned" about you. In my experience though, the only real "concerns" driving their behavior are the facts that...

    1) You have a mind of your own, and
    2) You're doing better than they are

    ...and they find both these truths to be absolutely intolerable.

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