Just need to talk

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2

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  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
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    You've got to own yourself. The eating isn't going to make your problems go away, its just going to make them worse. Fix your diet, determine your intake, get your macros straight, then, THEN you start working out, once your eating is now in check.
  • Dragon67
    Dragon67 Posts: 123 Member
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    Just a short note to wish you well on journey, I am sure you will do well :smile:
  • jsiricos
    jsiricos Posts: 338 Member
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    very brave to post here - kudos :)

    Why wait till Monday? its the weekend, your wifes with you, start now, shes sounds wonderfully supportive.

    But - (theres always a but..) YOU have to want this, YOU have to want to change, because if you dont, anything she helps you with is going to feel like a veiled criticism.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Hey brother, welcome here. Great post. Feel free to add me if you like. We can work together to get better :)

    Come join us. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Start small. Simply log everything. One advice I can give, is to NOT stop logging what you eat. No matter how bad. Even if you go to buffet and dunno how much you ate, just log an estimated number (I usually just put in 3000 calories and overestimate). Once you have that habit, its all easy and soon you will be like freakin Chaning Tatum :)
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Strong post Dan.

    Feel free to shoot me a request as well.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    You're here, and that's a great first step. My best advice is to make small, gradual changes that you can stick to forever. Don't try to do a complete 180. Just start walking. Eat a little less. Log accurately. Don't give up the foods that are really important to you, just commit to only one serving. You can do this. :flowerforyou:
  • toomuchbootyindapants
    toomuchbootyindapants Posts: 811 Member
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    Just a thought - are you perhaps depressed? Sounds so familiar to me when some crappy things happened in my life and I fell into a depression. I gained a ton of weight and it was a vicious cycle to get out of because I kept feeding my emotions. Just something to consider seeing your doctor about because if you do have depression, it can be helped and that might be just enough motivation for you to start making good, healthy choices again. Then watch the weight just melt off.
  • Allie_71
    Allie_71 Posts: 1,063 Member
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    You're taking the right steps Dan. And there are very helpful and kind people here who have had much success and have good advice to offer. Let them in and they will be happy to help. <3
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
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    I think a lot of us have been where you are. I was at the point that I wouldn't even change with my daughter in the room. It takes small steps. Set small goals so you don't give up. Just tell yourself you are going to exercise 3 times this week, no matter how little it is, even taking a walk. It doesn't sound like much but it'll be an accomplishment you can be proud of. Then set a goal next week to make your calorie goal at least X number of days. If you're struggling so much just getting started and staying on track you have to start small and build up to being active and eating right every (most) days.

    Most important is to keep communication open with your wife. Make sure she knows how you feel. She sounds like she is trying to be supportive. Don't shut her out.

    :flowerforyou:

    ETA: Listen to dizzle. She's so right. You very well may have more working against you than you realize.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
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    What a previous poster said is true your wife will still love you however you are. Don't distance yourself from her. Feel free to add me too if you want support. It's so great you joined MFP. It works. You'll be a new man before you know it. Just read read read and learn as much as you can. I married an electrician too that is now twice as big but other than the fact I want him to live as long as possible I really don't care at all he's not slim.
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
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    Hi Dan! You came to the right place:). I have been amazed at how much I have learned here and how many people have been successful and so very helpful:). FR sent:)
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
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    You are not alone...as you can see, many of us can identify with you.

    One piece of advice I have is that you dont need to be perfect. This is not an all or none thing.

    Log your food, lift weights, move more.
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,179 Member
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    Sounds like you are on the right track . Make plan , commit to it , and follow through.
  • missjeevious
    missjeevious Posts: 83 Member
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    Good for you Dan, you realized you were in a lousy place and you made the first move by posting on here. Second move by speaking to your awesome wife (never helps to try to hide things from those who truly love us)...WELL DONE! Things will get easier from here, your post really touched me, so honest. Take care and I'll be looking for you...can't wait to hear about your progress.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    You're going to be alright, man. Just do one thing at a time. All you have to do is go for a run. That's simple. Afterwards you'll feel better. And you'll decide to do something else good for yourself and you'll feel better still. It doesn't have to be any harder than that.
  • CactusF1ower
    CactusF1ower Posts: 174 Member
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    Dan, I'm glad that you have a loving and supportive wife. Good thing you talked to her. Sounds like you are off to a good start and you are in the right place. I just started this journey too. I wish you the very best. We can do this!
  • IronPlayground
    IronPlayground Posts: 1,594 Member
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    You're going to be alright, man. Just do one thing at a time. All you have to do is go for a run. That's simple. Afterwards you'll feel better. And you'll decide to do something else good for yourself and you'll feel better still. It doesn't have to be any harder than that.

    Exactly! Run to the end of the road one day. The next, decide to go a bit further and then a bit further the next. Take it one day at a time and continue to do better than the day before.
  • carolose46
    carolose46 Posts: 199 Member
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    [/quote]
    I went through this, and still somewhat am. First time around, I lost my job back in 2008. At that point I gained a lot of weight. Topping out at 275lbs. That was the biggest I had ever been. I was in denial. I avoided scales, and I avoided my husband. It had gotten to the point where I would get winded just walking to the car. I went to the Dr and she told me I was borderline diabetic. Since I am a smoker, and heart disease runs in my family, that I was destined to have a heart attack at an early age.

    It scared me. I lost about 40lbs, started feeling good, got back into the working scene, and then had just one treat, and then another, and then before you know it, I was back at eating fast food every meal. I cried a lot, and I do mean a lot. I was so unhappy. At the end of 2012 I crept back up to 256lbs. I looked in the mirror, and I said, this is enough.

    You really have to come to that point where you've really just had enough. You have to make up your own mind to change. As much as I wanted my husband to help me change, and Dr's, and family .... None of them can change your mind or your will power. I have now lost 60lbs. Each day I have to have a conversation with myself about why I am doing this. Slowly the conversations change, you make better decisions, you find ways to curb those cravings. You find things to do. The best part. You did it on your own. The support that you get from others is just the icing.
    [/quote]








    Amazing post! :flowerforyou:
  • __RANDY__
    __RANDY__ Posts: 1,036 Member
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    I was in the exact same situation about 2.5 years ago. I got a job and things got better except more income meant I ate fast food more and more. Until I spoke with my Dr and he very bluntly told me I was going to have a heart attack and likely die young. I went to the gym the same day and have never looked back.
  • sandradev1
    sandradev1 Posts: 786 Member
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    Hi Dan,

    I just want to say that you are an awesome guy. So brave and honest and I am sure that your wife is very proud of you as you are obviously a very nice caring person. Do not shut her out, just be honest.

    You've taken that first step, just keep taking steps forward and you will succeed, you have the determination right there inside you.

    :flowerforyou:

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