What would you want done?

carryingon

If you went to pick up your three year old at daycare and

1.the teacher stopped him from running to you to give you a hug saying they needed to "talk" about why he was in timeout (for putting his feet on the table)
2.Stood over him (not on his level)
3.Raised her voice and used an angry tone in front of everyone
4.shook and pointed her finger at him
5.Repeatedly told him to wipe the look of his face when he looked sad and scared
6.and later that night he told you that a teacher pinched his face when it was snack time (he didn't like the snack)
7.the next day you took him in and asked him to point out the teacher who hurt him (in front of other staff, the assistant director, and a family member for a witness) and he pointed at the same teacher and said that's the teacher who hurt me.

a. Teacher suspended
b. Teacher Fired
c. Teacher left in room with other children
d. Teacher reported to authorities

If it's in a Catholic institution would it change your answer on how you wanted it or expected it to be handled?

Accepting all feedback:flowerforyou:

pain_is_weakness

for me it would not have got that far, teacher would be knocked out first time I seen her doing themabove mentioned things to him/her. Don't mess with a mama bear's cubs, just don't


ok I probobly would have yelled and shook my finger back adn then when she says sometihng about it beng innopropriate or sometihng i would have siad, oh, i was just wondering why it was ok to do to my 3 yr old!

jbutterflye

b) I would fire that teacher. People like that don't belong in professions working with children or vulnerable people of any sort. That's abusive on several levels.

chrisjathompson

First you dial the police, then the media

devil_in_a_blue_dress

My child (I have a 3 year old in pre-school too) would be out of that school and it would get reported to the proper authorities. I would make sure I told the director and see what they say, but no matter what, I would report them. I would hope they'd get fired, but I would make sure there was a formal record of it.

ETA if I was the director, they are so fired and so reported.

VeeBethTris

Catholic institution is irrelevant *I am a Catholic and went to Catholic school*

B)She should be fired.

pain_is_weakness

ot tryign to be rude/judgemental toward your religion but being in a Chatholic environment while it may seem should be all peaches and all really isn't most of the time, I would kinda assume they were acting like that toward my kid


Trust me I was private schooled by religous schools and my parents never believed me until they heard them do it!

I applaude you listenng to your kid and stepping up to poiint the teacher out, I hate when people say that the kid could make it up because they are young, what is they aren't and in your case you seen it already!

bartman52

D...And also set up an appointment with the Principal and Pastor. Also talk to other parents. Probably not an isolated incident.

pain_is_weakness

First you dial the police, then the media

yep, i am that type of mom too. Call the media and thigns wil flip around real quick!

RhineDHP

I would probably react how Goldie Hawn did in the movie Overboard when the teacher accused the kids of lying about having poison ivy.

carryingon

He is so docile that when his 18 month old brother beats him up he just cries for help and won't fight back!

After the first part I said "Some people shouldn't be working in daycare" and then she left the room.
The next morning when I brought him in and he identified her I told the assistant director that I didn't want him in the same room and I wanted a resolution. They left her in the room but moved my child to the next level up. I told them I was reporting her. I went out to my car and called cps then proceeded to the parish office to speak to the pastor. He assured me something would be done. Police came to look at my son, but no mark=no crime. At the end of the day the teacher was still with children. My friend who has her son in saw the teacher alone in the bathroom with several children and she was yelling at them. I again spoke to the director and demanded a resolution and to know their policies. She said there would be a resolution, but probably not the one I wanted. The next morning I called her and she said they decided to keep her on staff because they couldn't prove she did anything. I called the pastor and told him I hoped it wasn't the Churches policy to keep people accused of abuse on staff. He promised to suspend her until after the investigation. It has been handed from CPS to day care licensing and I am waiting for it to be assigned to a caseworker.

carryingon

ot tryign to be rude/judgemental toward your religion but being in a Chatholic environment while it may seem should be all peaches and all really isn't most of the time, I would kinda assume they were acting like that toward my kid


Trust me I was private schooled by religous schools and my parents never believed me until they heard them do it!

I applaude you listenng to your kid and stepping up to poiint the teacher out, I hate when people say that the kid could make it up because they are young, what is they aren't and in your case you seen it already!

Feel free to read my blog. I would do anything for my children.

Synapze

A teacher that torment's, degrades and hurts my kid?

Probably knock that *kitten* out.

pain_is_weakness

good job, also call a newspaper or two and put your sotry in there, might speed things along for the pastor/school!

pain_is_weakness

ot tryign to be rude/judgemental toward your religion but being in a Chatholic environment while it may seem should be all peaches and all really isn't most of the time, I would kinda assume they were acting like that toward my kid


Trust me I was private schooled by religous schools and my parents never believed me until they heard them do it!

I applaude you listenng to your kid and stepping up to poiint the teacher out, I hate when people say that the kid could make it up because they are young, what is they aren't and in your case you seen it already!

Feel free to read my blog. I would do anything for my children.

that is awesome i am quite the same and really appreciate involved and protective parents out there. My parents unfortunately reacted years too late!

dbmata

a. Teacher suspended
b. Teacher Fired
c. Teacher left in room with other children
d. Teacher reported to authorities

If it's in a Catholic institution would it change your answer on how you wanted it or expected it to be handled?

Accepting all feedback:flowerforyou:

I'll go with e: Request 15 minutes alone with the teacher in a locked room.
OR:
f: Advise administration that a child abuse complaint will be filed with the PD if they didn't discipline the teacher and send me a hand written (not typed, not printed) letter of regret.

carryingon

I was also told by the director that the investigation was inconclusive because after I left they went in and started asking him if he was sure it was the teacher or was it another child? They said he was confused and didn't know. So, basicly coaching and leading which is illegal. Hmm, let's see he pointed to the teacher and said that's the teacher who hurt me. Apparently that's not enough?!

_the_feniks_

Trick question. The answer is kneecaps, always kneecaps.

pain_is_weakness

I was also told by the director that the investigation was inconclusive because after I left they went in and started asking him if he was sure it was the teacher or was it another child? They said he was confused and didn't know. So, basicly coaching and leading which is illegal. Hmm, let's see he pointed to the teacher and said that's the teacher who hurt me. Apparently that's not enough?!

was this the schools investigation or CPS? i am in the legal field so just curious because you are right there are laws

Mavrick7a

If you went to pick up your three year old at daycare and

1.the teacher stopped him from running to you to give you a hug saying they needed to "talk" about why he was in timeout (for putting his feet on the table)
2.Stood over him (not on his level)
3.Raised her voice and used an angry tone in front of everyone
4.shook and pointed her finger at him
5.Repeatedly told him to wipe the look of his face when he looked sad and scared
6.and later that night he told you that a teacher pinched his face when it was snack time (he didn't like the snack)
7.the next day you took him in and asked him to point out the teacher who hurt him (in front of other staff, the assistant director, and a family member for a witness) and he pointed at the same teacher and said that's the teacher who hurt me.

a. Teacher suspended
b. Teacher Fired
c. Teacher left in room with other children
d. Teacher reported to authorities

If it's in a Catholic institution would it change your answer on how you wanted it or expected it to be handled?

Accepting all feedback:flowerforyou:

@sweetnothing - So, I went to an All Boys Catholic school and also coach wrestling at the same school:
1. Create diary, document each incident and include witnesses, dates, and times.
2. talk to other parents. Take notes, documenting each incident. Ask if they have reported the incident.
3. meet with the teacher. Be clear about your expectations. I wouldn't share all your notes.
4. meet with the advisor or principal. They will do something, if not then escalate.

carryingon

Catholic institution is irrelevant *I am a Catholic and went to Catholic school*

B)She should be fired.

I appreciate your feedback on that. :flowerforyou: I am a diehard Catholic. I truly love my faith. That being said with the scandal in the Church I would really hope that they've learned how to handle reports of abuse. That they act quickly, resolutely and with a zero tolerance policy. I would also hope that they had a Church wide policy to immediately remove the accused person and to give the child the benefit of the doubt not the adult. If we say we want to protect the weak and defenseless unborn then shouldn't that cross over to the weak and defenseless that are already born? I believe that as a country we should have a policy in place as well, not just in the church.

carryingon

If you went to pick up your three year old at daycare and

1.the teacher stopped him from running to you to give you a hug saying they needed to "talk" about why he was in timeout (for putting his feet on the table)
2.Stood over him (not on his level)
3.Raised her voice and used an angry tone in front of everyone
4.shook and pointed her finger at him
5.Repeatedly told him to wipe the look of his face when he looked sad and scared
6.and later that night he told you that a teacher pinched his face when it was snack time (he didn't like the snack)
7.the next day you took him in and asked him to point out the teacher who hurt him (in front of other staff, the assistant director, and a family member for a witness) and he pointed at the same teacher and said that's the teacher who hurt me.

a. Teacher suspended
b. Teacher Fired
c. Teacher left in room with other children
d. Teacher reported to authorities

If it's in a Catholic institution would it change your answer on how you wanted it or expected it to be handled?

Accepting all feedback:flowerforyou:

@sweetnothing - So, I went to an All Boys Catholic school and also coach wrestling at the same school:
1. Create diary, document each incident and include witnesses, dates, and times.
2. talk to other parents. Take notes, documenting each incident. Ask if they have reported the incident.
3. meet with the teacher. Be clear about your expectations. I wouldn't share all your notes.
4. meet with the advisor or principal. They will do something, if not then escalate.

Thank you:flowerforyou:

RobynC79

Hm, let's see... your child misbehaved in class and was verbally disciplined by his teacher, who then communicated why this occurred to you when you went to collect him. Of course you thought he looked 'scared and sad' while she thought he was being insolent - there is a big difference in how parents and teachers view your little darling!

Your child later reports physical abuse that apparently no one else at the school witnessed, and the administration told you that with no evidence of this occurring, they would not fire the teacher. Seems pretty darned reasonable to me.

If you don't like the staff then take your child elsewhere, but what you're proposing here sounds like a witchhunt. If the woman did not, in fact, touch your child, you are potentially hounding her out of her job with no evidence - kids lie, particularly when they think they have a sympathetic audience - and I am sure this is not the first time a teacher has been accused of something by a child resentful of verbal and/or non-physical discipline.

You reported it, and the administration dealt with it as best they could given that there is no physical evidence or witnesses (apparently). If she did pinch your child on the cheek, I assume she is on notice that a complaint has been lodged and she will presumably lose her job if there is evidence of this occurring.

I'm not sure what else you can reasonably expect, to be honest.

carryingon

Trick question. The answer is kneecaps, always kneecaps.

I'm a single mother with four children age 6 and under. I can't go to prison. Otherwise I would have used this advice for the ex who I put in prison for 25-40 yrs (again a referral to blog). I appreciate the sentiment though:flowerforyou:

tabik30

This woman should not be around children period! If you want me to help you get rid of her and make it look like an accident, Im in. I watch ID channel, they'll never be able to prove anything

pain_is_weakness

Catholic institution is irrelevant *I am a Catholic and went to Catholic school*

B)She should be fired.

I appreciate your feedback on that. :flowerforyou: I am a diehard Catholic. I truly love my faith. That being said with the scandal in the Church I would really hope that they've learned how to handle reports of abuse. That they act quickly, resolutely and with a zero tolerance policy. I would also hope that they had a Church wide policy to immediately remove the accused person and to give the child the benefit of the doubt not the adult. If we say we want to protect the weak and defenseless unborn then shouldn't that cross over to the weak and defenseless that are already born? I believe that as a country we should have a policy in place as well, not just in the church.

It is not just the Catholic church, unfortunately it happens with all religions but the Catholic church was under closer scruutiny . . .I am still very religious but I would even question my church if I seen someone being remotely abusive.

Changing_Charity

that is ridiculous!! that makes me sad. no child should be treated like that by anyone! i would have had her fired. she does not need to be working with children!

pain_is_weakness

Hm, let's see... your child misbehaved in class and was verbally disciplined by his teacher, who then communicated why this occurred to you when you went to collect him. Of course you thought he looked 'scared and sad' while she thought he was being insolent - there is a big difference in how parents and teachers view your little darling!

Your child later reports physical abuse that apparently no one else at the school witnessed, and the administration told you that with no evidence of this occurring, they would not fire the teacher. Seems pretty darned reasonable to me.

If you don't like the staff then take your child elsewhere, but what you're proposing here sounds like a witchhunt. If the woman did not, in fact, touch your child, you are potentially hounding her out of her job with no evidence - kids lie, particularly when they think they have a sympathetic audience - and I am sure this is not the first time a teacher has been accused of something by a child resentful of verbal and/or non-physical discipline.

You reported it, and the administration dealt with it as best they could given that there is no physical evidence or witnesses (apparently). If she did pinch your child on the cheek, I assume she is on notice that a complaint has been lodged and she will presumably lose her job if there is evidence of this occurring.

I'm not sure what else you can reasonably expect, to be honest.

Even witohut the physical abuse, what was witnessed in front of the parent was enough for most parent to want that teacher fired.

pain_is_weakness

@Robyn, do you even have kids? If you do I am really, really sorry . . .for them

RobynC79

@Robyn, do you even have kids? If you do I am really, really sorry . . .for them

Hm, I find that rather insulting. But thanks for the expression of concern for their welfare. I am of the non-american school of child-rearing that says that teachers have a right to tell you that your child has been naughty, and they have the right to impose their authority by verbal and non-physical discipline in school. I couldn't care less about 'on their level' reasoning with small, naughty children.

I also have seen children (my own and others) tell bald-face lies when they think it will get them out of being disciplined. And I have a huge amount of respect for teachers, who have a tough enough job dealing with ill-disciplined children, without having to deal with parents who think their kids can do no wrong.

I guess that makes me a terrible mother. Feel free to call the authorities.

carryingon

Hm, let's see... your child misbehaved in class and was verbally disciplined by his teacher, who then communicated why this occurred to you when you went to collect him. Of course you thought he looked 'scared and sad' while she thought he was being insolent - there is a big difference in how parents and teachers view your little darling!

Your child later reports physical abuse that apparently no one else at the school witnessed, and the administration told you that with no evidence of this occurring, they would not fire the teacher. Seems pretty darned reasonable to me.

If you don't like the staff then take your child elsewhere, but what you're proposing here sounds like a witchhunt. If the woman did not, in fact, touch your child, you are potentially hounding her out of her job with no evidence - kids lie, particularly when they think they have a sympathetic audience - and I am sure this is not the first time a teacher has been accused of something by a child resentful of verbal and/or non-physical discipline.

You reported it, and the administration dealt with it as best they could given that there is no physical evidence or witnesses (apparently). If she did pinch your child on the cheek, I assume she is on notice that a complaint has been lodged and she will presumably lose her job if there is evidence of this occurring.

I'm not sure what else you can reasonably expect, to be honest.

Again I thank you for all feedback.

I worked in childcare for ten years.

Here is how appropriate discipline for that age group works. This is a class of two year olds. He just turned three. We know that this age group thinks more in pictures and actions then verbal.

1. Get down to child's eye level and tell child no thank you. Redirect child to appropriate behavior
2. if child does not redirect place in timeout. If child redirects give appropriate praise for correct behavior.
3. if child went to timeout and completed it- redirect child to appropriate behavior demonstrating if necessary.
4.If child redirects after timeout again praise for correct behavior

These are children not criminals. We want children to learn from an interaction. If you made a poor choice at work would you respond well to a boss who had you sit and stood over you, raising his voice, shaking his finger, and telling you to wipe the look off your face? Do you believe a three year old should be taught to use that phrase? If your child used that phrase with someone would it be okay? Why give the person who can defend themselves and has a motive to lie (as you said protection of employment) the benefit of the doubt?