What would you want done?

carryingon

If you went to pick up your three year old at daycare and

1.the teacher stopped him from running to you to give you a hug saying they needed to "talk" about why he was in timeout (for putting his feet on the table)
2.Stood over him (not on his level)
3.Raised her voice and used an angry tone in front of everyone
4.shook and pointed her finger at him
5.Repeatedly told him to wipe the look of his face when he looked sad and scared
6.and later that night he told you that a teacher pinched his face when it was snack time (he didn't like the snack)
7.the next day you took him in and asked him to point out the teacher who hurt him (in front of other staff, the assistant director, and a family member for a witness) and he pointed at the same teacher and said that's the teacher who hurt me.

a. Teacher suspended
b. Teacher Fired
c. Teacher left in room with other children
d. Teacher reported to authorities

If it's in a Catholic institution would it change your answer on how you wanted it or expected it to be handled?

Accepting all feedback:flowerforyou:

I work as a Nursery Nurse (in Scotland ) looking after 3 year olds & i have a 3 year old myself~ i cant believe what im reading,

Firstly i dont think she should have stopped him running to you, this should've been handled differently i.e. she should have let him run to you then explained to you that he had been on time out or gave him a chance to tell to you. She should not have stood over him, she should always be at the childs height, not raise her voice, it should be firm & clear for child to understand but not raised (hope you know what i mean), there should be no finger pointing, no.4 - 6 is a definate NO WAY & as for being Catholic my Daughter went to a Catholic School i'd be one angry mum if this happened Catholic school/daycare or not.
I dont know what the process is over there ~ but if i were you, you go to the manager of the daycare or whoever is above her, you make a formal complaint both in person & in writing keep a record you want the matter delt with & you want a record of it, this should result in the said person being disciplined, suspended depending on how things panned out it may result in them being fired. If they are disciplined it will be on there record, if they are suspended it will be until who ever runs the daycare gathers all possible evidence from other staff members etc, which will either result in them being fired or some other form of action. I hope this info helps

Thank you! I really appreciate your feedback! :flowerforyou:

carryingon

Thank you everyone for your feedback. I guess I just never knew that this is how they would continue to handle reports of abuse. At the very least I feel she should've been pulled out the moment abuse was reported so that an investigation could be done.

SANDRA_F26

I think you followed your instints and made the right choices in how to handle this. As parents we have to look out for each other not standing up and saying something puts other children at riskof being abused. I hope this person takes a long hard look at themselves and gets some Jesus quick. hope your child is doing better now. :happy:

carryingon

I think you followed your instints and made the right choices in how to handle this. As parents we have to look out for each other not standing up and saying something puts other children at riskof being abused. I hope this person takes a long hard look at themselves and gets some Jesus quick. hope your child is doing better now. :happy:

Thank you Sandra! I feel like I'm failing the other parents and children because I haven't made an effort to let them know anything yet. I don't know what the best way to do that would be.

doc800

FIRED..... We are talking about a youngster here. There is no way a child should feel hurt by an adult physically. This is probably the first experience away from home and the adult is sending a bad message to the child. There are plenty of ways to handle things but it seems this teacher just isn't cut out to deal with kids. Sad, I hope you get a resolution which you are happy with.

LMT2012

Please tell me you are all joking...:noway:

TattednPierced

E. Knock the life out of the teacher.

LoriRenae62

Well.
Here is my input.
I have worked in child care, private and public.
I have worked in investigations.
I have two grown daughters.
My daughters at some points were in childcare, private and public, and private school (Lutheran) and public.
Like others here, I have seen both sides of child care issues.

I am assuming the daycare is aware that he and his siblings are being raised in a single parent home and they face some unique challenges. Under those circumstances, it would seem that a bit more tolerance and understanding on the part of the daycare would go a long way when discussing problems the child may be experiencing.

I believe children (and adults for that matter) must have boundaries, must know the limits and be made aware of the consequences before stepping over those boundaries. There are accepted ways of accomplishing this, in a manner beneficial to both parties.
What was the lesson learned here? Is the child even aware of why he was 'disciplined' in the first place or has this just made his world a little more fearful and confusing?
Humiliating a child in front of his classmates is never an option, in my opinion and I see no reason for handling a situation in that manner. I believe that shows incredible immaturity and some bullying tendencies on the part of the care giver. She sounds unable or unwilling to control her strong own emotions when dealing with children. People with little self discipline and empathy are not a good fit for this type of work.

If the care giver truly felt that the way she handled the situation was correct, witnesses and administration cannot find sufficient proof to document the case to their satisfaction, I would say that place is not for your son. It's easy to say that but not so easy to do. I agree with the advice to document everything in the event you cannot remove him. Hopefully, this person will realize she is not cut out for this and find employment elsewhere.

As it happens, I know this three year old. He is very sweet natured, sensitive and unusually kind for a small boy. Observing him, it does not take long to discern this. Why anyone would choose this tact with him is beyond me.

Additionally, I liked the kneecaps answer and I watch ID AND Dateline!

carryingon

Well.
Here is my input.
I have worked in child care, private and public.
I have worked in investigations.
I have two grown daughters.
My daughters at some points were in childcare, private and public, and private school (Lutheran) and public.
Like others here, I have seen both sides of child care issues.

I am assuming the daycare is aware that he and his siblings are being raised in a single parent home and they face some unique challenges. Under those circumstances, it would seem that a bit more tolerance and understanding on the part of the daycare would go a long way when discussing problems the child may be experiencing.

I believe children (and adults for that matter) must have boundaries, must know the limits and be made aware of the consequences before stepping over those boundaries. There are accepted ways of accomplishing this, in a manner beneficial to both parties.
What was the lesson learned here? Is the child even aware of why he was 'disciplined' in the first place or has this just made his world a little more fearful and confusing?
Humiliating a child in front of his classmates is never an option, in my opinion and I see no reason for handling a situation in that manner. I believe that shows incredible immaturity and some bullying tendencies on the part of the care giver. She sounds unable or unwilling to control her strong own emotions when dealing with children. People with little self discipline and empathy are not a good fit for this type of work.

If the care giver truly felt that the way she handled the situation was correct, witnesses and administration cannot find sufficient proof to document the case to their satisfaction, I would say that place is not for your son. It's easy to say that but not so easy to do. I agree with the advice to document everything in the event you cannot remove him. Hopefully, this person will realize she is not cut out for this and find employment elsewhere.

As it happens, I know this three year old. He is very sweet natured, sensitive and unusually kind for a small boy. Observing him, it does not take long to discern this. Why anyone would choose this tact with him is beyond me.

Additionally, I liked the kneecaps answer and I watch ID AND Dateline!

I Love you!!!! Your feedback is especially important to me because you know him I know you are feeling the same way as me. It just doesn't make sense.

jillybeansalad

@Robyn, do you even have kids? If you do I am really, really sorry . . .for them

Hm, I find that rather insulting. But thanks for the expression of concern for their welfare. I am of the non-american school of child-rearing that says that teachers have a right to tell you that your child has been naughty, and they have the right to impose their authority by verbal and non-physical discipline in school. I couldn't care less about 'on their level' reasoning with small, naughty children.

I also have seen children (my own and others) tell bald-face lies when they think it will get them out of being disciplined. And I have a huge amount of respect for teachers, who have a tough enough job dealing with ill-disciplined children, without having to deal with parents who think their kids can do no wrong.

I guess that makes me a terrible mother. Feel free to call the authorities.

you sound like a wicked witch, no wonder your kids lie, you would scare the crap out of me too!

Of course kids lie, but if my kid says they were abused, i am not going to sweep it under the rug. I hope to God your kids remain safe because I would hate if some monster got ahold of them and then mommy dearest is in their face yelling "naughty, bratty little liars"

*edited to add a key fact, adults lie too honey and this one has more on the line than a kid trying to get out of trouble! Plus parents can tell when their kids are lying

Oh good, name calling. Mature.

Louisianababy93

Shoot, I dare someone to touch my kid. If they have a problem they can call me and ill take care of the problem!

my mom and grandma had gotten police escorted out of school one time for taking a swing at a teacher over me! That lady never messed with me again! and when she got my brother the next year, she didn't mess with him either!

SANDRA_F26

I think you followed your instints and made the right choices in how to handle this. As parents we have to look out for each other not standing up and saying something puts other children at riskof being abused. I hope this person takes a long hard look at themselves and gets some Jesus quick. hope your child is doing better now. :happy:

Thank you Sandra! I feel like I'm failing the other parents and children because I haven't made an effort to let them know anything yet. I don't know what the best way to do that would be.

I think mayb type up a letter and hand them out at the end of the day as parents are picking up there children, explaining the circumstances mayb asking if any other parent has had any simular experiences with that teacher and if they did to get intouch with you and posssilby help further build your case. Never know what you may get back. if teachers been there for awhile you may want to look into contacting parents of children whom no longer attend or are in a higher grade.

carryingon

bumping for more feedback hopefully:flowerforyou:

Lisa1971

A teacher that torment's, degrades and hurts my kid?

Probably knock that *kitten* out.

YEP!!!!!!!!!!!!

CLFrancois

Minimum > fired.
she is not fit to be around small individuals.

khall86790

100% the teacher should be fired if the child is being honest about being pinched. Touching in the form of spite/negativity is a no go zone, I work with kids and this is just a plain set rule.
It's a bit different as I am a nanny not a teacher but the kids and I ONLY touch for things such as play fighting (I have a 9 year old boy... such is life!) or the affectionate ruffle of their hair when their parents are around. I have lived with this family for 7 months now and only in the last 2 has this alone been acceptable, as we now have almost a sibling bond with each other.
Any other kind of touching is unacceptable.

realme56

I am a recovering catholic student so it would not surprise me in the least to have it happen there. In most schools it should be investigated/fired and the teacher could also face charges of child abuse.

SarahBeth0625

Suspended while investigated, then fired.

devilwhiterose

I have a 3 year old in daycare and that probably wouldn't fly with me.

My kid can be a bull-headed, strong-willed hellraiser...but there are ways to deal with it. And someone in childhood education should know how to deal with that.

For one, don't stop my kid from running to me. Let him run to me, and then tell him to tell me why he's in timeout. Second...telling a kid to wipe the look off his face is like telling a newborn to stop crying. Duh.

Third, no one touches my child except me. Period. They'd have to escort me out of daycare and bring an ambulance if I discovered anyone had their hands on my son.

MM_1982

If you went to pick up your three year old at daycare and

1.the teacher stopped him from running to you to give you a hug saying they needed to "talk" about why he was in timeout (for putting his feet on the table)
2.Stood over him (not on his level)
3.Raised her voice and used an angry tone in front of everyone
4.shook and pointed her finger at him
5.Repeatedly told him to wipe the look of his face when he looked sad and scared
6.and later that night he told you that a teacher pinched his face when it was snack time (he didn't like the snack)
7.the next day you took him in and asked him to point out the teacher who hurt him (in front of other staff, the assistant director, and a family member for a witness) and he pointed at the same teacher and said that's the teacher who hurt me.

a. Teacher suspended
b. Teacher Fired
c. Teacher left in room with other children
d. Teacher reported to authorities

If it's in a Catholic institution would it change your answer on how you wanted it or expected it to be handled?

Accepting all feedback:flowerforyou:

So the teacher raised her voiced and pointed her finger at him (among a few other things).

I don't really see what the teacher did wrong. I remember getting my knuckles slapped with a ruler when I was in early grade school. I likely deserved it.

Kids need discipline and need strict teachers. We don't want to raise a generation of 'girlie men'.

carryingon

I really appreciate the feedback:flowerforyou:

Alyssah09

Oh my goodness. If someone EVER did that to my child. First she would be reported to police and charges pressed, then her superiors to be fired, then I would like 15 min alone with her.