I'm REALLY Struggling!

doggiesnot

You can do it!

You just need a ROAD MAP!!

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

ramonafrincu

You can still get FAT eating "clean". It is all about calories in and calories out!! Burn more that you eat and you LOSE weight!!!
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I don't want to steer you away from healthy food choices, but losing weight is a lot more about eating less than eating "right." Of course, there are ways to feel more satiated, not crash from a lot of sugar, etc. But truly, the most important thing (for me at least) with weight loss is eating less.

Try not to get too caught up in eating RIGHT and focus on eating LESS for now. Log everything that goes into your mouth. Everything. Every. Single. Skittle. Or french fry. Or hard boiled egg. Or whatever. Just log it. Do that for a week. There is tremendous power in this simple act.

Then start making changes to your menu.

I absolutely and fundamentally disagree with almost everything this person said. If you are struggling with not eating enough (1 mega meal a day) your metabolism is shot. So you need to eat healthy, clean, natural foods. Once you are eating healthily and regularly then you can focus on calorie counting. I swear to you no one ever got fat eating only fruits, vegetables and lean protein sources. It is all the other crap they eat in addition to those things.

I do absolutely agree that you need to write down (track electronically) EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. Yes the reality is Calories Out - Calories In = weight loss but until you have a realistic and healthy eating habit, don't obsess over eating less.

Stop pushing your CLEAN eating on this girl. She is struggling enough without you pushing your lifestyle on her. Give her a chance to find her own way.
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tammeesue

this is what I do NO WHITE Role don't eat it if if WHITE!!! and don't eat corn,corn is what we give cows to make them fat(just a little joke) stay clear of sweet stay away from fried foods flour is your worse enemy go to bed a little hungry!!you can do it!!!

TinaBean007

My favorite sources for meal planning are The Eat Clean books, Clean Eating Magazine and Oxygen Magazine. I would start with getting a Eat Clean book from the library and reading it, any of them are good and they all have a couple of weeks meal plans in it. Then I suggest getting a subscription to either Clean Eating or Oxygen Magazine (not Oprah's magaizine!) They both have a months worth of meal plans in them. They average about 15 to 1700 calories a day. I don't usually end up eating all that because even if I eat every 3 hours I don't have that many meals in my day.
You can do this!
Avoid processed food! Eat things that were once living or came from something that was once living, not a manufacturer. Drink lots of water and DO NOT DRINK your calories unless it is a protein shake before or after a work out OR if you are juicing/smoothie-ing for micro nutrients.

I have to second this... you don't have to follow the programs exactly, but they will help you get a better understanding of healthier options and meal ideas. The books are easy to read and set-up in a way to be great reference materials. Many people believe you can eat whatever you want as long as you're under your daily calorie goal, but I don't agree. I think it's harder because processed foods aren't filling, and high sugar/sodium foods are triggers. You'll feel better and have an better journey LONG TERM if you can stick to healthy foods. If you're goals are a life-style change, than make sure everything you change is sustainable long term. Good luck.

postrockandcats

There's a ton of info out there, but if you're just starting out and trying to make the right decisions, it's very overwhelming! Especially if you're not used to a healthy diet. The first step is to be easy on yourself. You've already made the biggest step in deciding to change your life. This is a learning process, so you're going to find things that work well and other things that don't.

For example, I've not cut out white flour or carbs and I've still lost a ton of weight. But, that tactic works well for others. Find a lifestyle you can live with; if I had an overly restrictive diet, I'd not have fallen off the wagon so much as tucked and rolled off of it.

Experiment with making healthier versions of foods you like now. Like Fried Chicken? Try baked. Like Mashed Potatoes with lots of butter and cream? Try making it with a little Olive Oil and light Sour Cream. I use the recipe function here all the time to figure out the nutritional value of the foods I make.

You can also do things like have half the amount of {insert unhealthy food here} you'd normally get and replace the rest with a salad or veggie. I still eat "unhealthy" foods, but I've figured out how to keep them in my diet so I'm not depriving myself of the things that I like.

Google "meal plan ideas" and see what looks good to you. Someone also mentioned a site upthread. You can do this! Just remember there's more than one way to get to Vegas, so don't let anyone tell you you're not doing YOUR journey correctly.

Oh- PS!! The one hard and fast rule I did make for myself was to not drink my calories within reason. 99% of the time I drink water or tea sweetened with Splenda. I took Soda out of the loop and I keep things like Lattes as an occasional treat. Even then, I don't get the super large caramel macchiato with extra whipping cream, I'll get a small skim latte. My BF has a harder time with this, but he's upped his water intake, too.

juleszephyr

Everyone is different and you need to work out what works for you... You will get tons of advice on here, all valid however ultimately you need to find out what works for you... I totally agree with the following.

1. Log everything you eat and drink
2. Try and up your exercise
3. Do the maths, cals in less than cals used
4. Find out what you like, be brave and try new stuff. I find keeping a journal with notes in the kitchen handy, what worked, what you like and didn't like, what was satisfying, when you felt hungry etc.
5. Give it a few weeks and see how you go, nothing is a miracle!!!

best of luck
Jules

jdhoward_101

I wouldf suggest logging EVERYTHING you eat and drink, plus ALL your exercise, and make your food diary public; that way we can have a look and see if we can offer any advice as to where you could improve

postrockandcats

Surely you are kidding. There are a zillion places where one learns how to eat a balanced diet. If you have missed them thus far you are not paying attention, and if you are not paying attention there is a reason for your unwillingness to change.

Change anything. One move for the better is a start. It becomes a habit after a few weeks and you won't remember when it wasn't a part of your life. Here are two changes you might begin with.

Breakfast every day. Make a list of three breakfasts you like that are reasonable and rotate them. So what if it's boring? One of hte things you might need to do is break the fascination with food. Some days I have a really good bread with really good jam, a fruit or a yogurt. A protein, a starch, a fruit. There are some killer all-fruit jams out there.

Get a bag and put your fruits and vegetables for the day into it. Or a pretty basket. I giant purse. I don't care. Eat ALL of the required servings before giving yourself permission for junk. Choose gorgeous vegetables from the grocery, luscious fruits. Eat them fresh and crunchy and with no sauces or camoflage of any kind. Savor them, Tonight I bought fresh corn, radishes, green grapes, tangerines, carrots, hot peppers, tomatoes, onions. I will make a salsa of chopped vegetables or perhaps a gazpacho or perhaps just munch the tomatoes as they are. Start someplace. And start now.

If you won't change, that's your choice. But what exactly are you struggling with?

She's clearly struggling with what to eat! This isn't an uncommon problem. If everyone had it figured out, we wouldn't be on this site right now. Your "WTH are you stupid" tone is unwelcoming and unhelpful. Everyone starts at different points. I love raw and simple veggies, but not everyone is there yet and there's nothing wrong with that. It's a journey, not an express train.

valmaebel

Surely you are kidding. There are a zillion places where one learns how to eat a balanced diet. If you have missed them thus far you are not paying attention, and if you are not paying attention there is a reason for your unwillingness to change.

Change anything. One move for the better is a start. It becomes a habit after a few weeks and you won't remember when it wasn't a part of your life. Here are two changes you might begin with.

Breakfast every day. Make a list of three breakfasts you like that are reasonable and rotate them. So what if it's boring? One of hte things you might need to do is break the fascination with food. Some days I have a really good bread with really good jam, a fruit or a yogurt. A protein, a starch, a fruit. There are some killer all-fruit jams out there.

Get a bag and put your fruits and vegetables for the day into it. Or a pretty basket. I giant purse. I don't care. Eat ALL of the required servings before giving yourself permission for junk. Choose gorgeous vegetables from the grocery, luscious fruits. Eat them fresh and crunchy and with no sauces or camoflage of any kind. Savor them, Tonight I bought fresh corn, radishes, green grapes, tangerines, carrots, hot peppers, tomatoes, onions. I will make a salsa of chopped vegetables or perhaps a gazpacho or perhaps just munch the tomatoes as they are. Start someplace. And start now.

If you won't change, that's your choice. But what exactly are you struggling with?

She's clearly struggling with what to eat! This isn't an uncommon problem. If everyone had it figured out, we wouldn't be on this site right now. Your "WTH are you stupid" tone is unwelcoming and unhelpful. Everyone starts at different points. I love raw and simple veggies, but not everyone is there yet and there's nothing wrong with that. It's a journey, not an express train.

Well said!

endoftheside

I have to tell myself all the time, don't let the perfect get in the way of the good. I have certain ideals, but am trying to do away with the absolutes. This is not a competition. I do not have to be the best weight-loser. This is for me. I need to be honest with myself and kind to myself.

I am using TDEE (sedentary) - 20ish% + part of my exercise calories (not all, since MFP overestimates calorie burns) and it has been working fine so far.

I am trying to incorporate more veggies, but if it's going to make me grumpy not to have a coke or piece of chocolate or whatever, I fit them in. I try to pay attention to foods that are just.not.worth.it due to how they make me feel/how many calories/etc. and try to keep that in mind for next time, but if I do it again, well, eventually it will sink in, I am pretty stubborn. I try to use my perfectionism to my benefit, in things like "why would I want that nasty stale store-bought artificial crap when I can make it myself and have it taste MUCH better". I make tiny little changes so as not to spook myself and fall into the perfectionism trap again.

I have read so much contradictory information about how/what to eat that finally I just said screw it and am making my own plan, tweaking based on my results (for example, super low carb, not for me, but keeping carbs at 30% instead of 50%, much better, for me, right now). If you want to micro-manage, try micromanaging that kind of thing.

Good luck. :flowerforyou:

missj1020

Yes, log everything you are eating!!!!! The reality is you are only hurting yourself by not logging every little thing u eat, otherwise your brain will say " I didn't eat that" I micro managed for a long time and always gave up because I was always thinking about food, what to eat, logging it..blah blah blah.....I have been logging in for 80 days, I have lost 16lbs, slow and slower! But, I am trying to eat realistic and better! I swim 3 days a week and I am always a work in progress! If your frustrated because the weight is not coming off fast enough, so your roll........79lbs is a lot of weight....stop focusing on the negative and focus on the changes you HAVE made and continue to make little changes that stick!:flowerforyou:

missj1020

Yes, this forum is to help and ask for help, believe it or not, not everyone knows where to look! Jeez

CATindeeHAT

^^^^ i wouldnt trust anything catindeehats says, no offense.

Coming from the person who says not to eat carbs past 7/8 pm.

Dianafrance8

Congrats on fighting the good fight and not being afraid to ask for help. You are way ahead of most people. So sorry for some of the rude pushy people. There's tons of supportive friends on mfp.

When I started last march I was also overwhelmed by the huge confusing info out there. I just started by writing my calorie count on the back of my hand. This was simple, free, I couldn't lose it or forget about it.

Little by little I started looking at healthy carbs, sodium levels, organic and "clean" eating, drinking lots of water and the best workouts. I'm down 105 lbs in less than a year and have 35 more to go.

Totally agree that it is fun and effective to practice pre logging your days. You can keep trading out different foods until you get the nutritional totals you want. Once you create some favorite meals, shopping and cooking will get simpler.

Just take baby steps and do the next thing. Don't try and conquer every diet issue overnight cause it will get discouraging .

Congrats on your progress,
Diana

hobotc

I am doing the body for life by Bill Phillips, I did this once before and I lost 96lbs in 9 months. I got in a car accident and surgeries and steriod injections. and put on weight again so I'm doing this again because I like the method you eat 6 small meals a day and you get one day to eat what ever you want I don't feel like I'm starving.. Hope this helps.

squiggyflop

I dont know if it has been suggested, but your local library may have meal planning books. Books are often less daunting than the millions of bits of information on the internet. I agree with some of the others about how for right now you should concentrate on calories. Just doing this will help you naturally cut out junk foods. You will learn fast that high sugar foods are packed with calories so you can only eat a tiny amount. This tiny amount will not be satisfying so you will go looking for lower calorie versions of this food, which will often be lower sugar. This is not restricted to just sugar. When you look for tortillas, you will likely read every package to see calories and realize you can eat more of the whole grain kind (unless you resort to the white kind with extra fiber that makes it taste nasty). You will slowly train your taste buds to enjoy healthier foods because healthier foods are often naturally lower in calories.

Oh yeah, and one thing that works for me, take tiny bites and really savor your food. If you stop to enjoy each bite, you will feel full faster.

I am not sure if I am explaining this well.

lbesaw

You must become a student of nutrition now. The plan works. Pay careful attention to everything you eat, and drink. Cooking at home is a great way to have total control. Purge the house if you can---if you can't or shouldn't eat it---don't have it in your home. Create a list of the healthy foods you love and start there...we all have our basics. I self-limit my carbs because I have always had issues with consuming too much, many of my trigger foods, so I avoid them and enjoy them infrequently. Single serving items were my saving grace in the first few weeks. Once your diary is on track you will find that you automatically calculate and compile your daily menus in your head. I usually menu plan while I'm working out, keeps my mind off of things and boosts my desire to continue.

tammeesue

ty so much this will be very helpful!! kinda hard though to "rid" my house since I do have certain people who like different stuff then me ,but one good thing is he isn't here all week so YES I can do this!! You are doing a great job yourself, keep it up!!! together keeping a track of the food and communicating with one another is going to get us there!!what I do is if it is over 300 calories I wont eat it and we have to keep the carbs down!!! I live for the day my day loss will be 40 pounds,I need encouragement and support and this site seems to give it to me, so please keep replying cause it does help...again keep up the good work!!!!

tammeesue

great job!!!! keep up the good work!!!!

tammeesue