I love my baby even though she destroyed me.

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Hey there! I'm back on here after a 2 year absence. I was 200 lbs and lost 60. Looked great, felt great, got pregnant. Now the baby is 7 weeks old, I'm 185 again (bed rest), and I'm ready to get moving. I've done a few days of tracking, but I'm having a hard time meeting goals under the stress and business of the new baby. I'm also concerned about how torn up my stomach looks now. My belly looks like a saggy river map. :(..... any advice?
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Replies

  • tatd_820
    tatd_820 Posts: 573 Member
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    First, congrats on your new baby girl. Enjoy her! Second, you are only 7 weeks post partum. Give it some time. I've had 2 children and have been overweight since giving birth to the first, 7 years ago. Thought my tummy was toast but I was wrong and it's really suprised me. So, you will recover and your tummy will get better. Get back on track with fitness and eating well.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    :indifferent:
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    "She destroyed me?" That's a little harsh.
    It's only been 7 weeks, it will get better. And even if your stomach won't get back to the way it was, it doesn't mean you are "destroyed". You can still have a banging body.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    I'm 8 weeks post-partum and my belly is terrible looking also. I think "destroyed me" is really terrible phrasing, though I understand how you feel completely.

    I'm within 4 lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight, but almost a full two dress sizes larger because of all the extra skin and flabbiness in my midsection.

    As hard as it is to find the time to workout or cook, do it anyway. The only way to improve things is to make the changes you need to make to reshape your body.

    My husband has been very helpful and babysits while I go to the gym 3-4x per week. We've worked out a schedule so that it works for both of us. I suggest you try to get on a schedule if you can. It's really hard with a newborn, but it can be done. Enlist help from friends or others that can watch baby for you.
  • Jmariemiller
    Jmariemiller Posts: 22 Member
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    It happens to most of us women. Not even 80% of us are blessed with snap back bodies. My son is now almost 10 and my belly is still tiger striped and stretched out and I've only had just him. I've just resigned to the fact that my stomach will never be the same. I was 145 pounds on a 5'9" frame when I got pregnant and ballooned up to 205 at birth time. In fact I started bawling when they weighed me upon check in! LOL

    It does get better, do give yourself some time. Start eating right and introducing excercise slowly so you don't hurt yourself. Also, if you're breast feeding you need to make sure you don't cut your calories back too far of you'll lose your milk. Honestly I didn't even try to lose weight until after I quit breastfeeding.

    :)
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
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    Congratulations on your baby!! :flowerforyou:

    Just give it time. I know you're probably exhausted and adjusting to life as a mom... so go easy on yourself! It took 9 months for your body to get to what it is today and it will take time (perhaps as much? Dare I say possibly more) to get back to "normal". It will get better. I know women who have kept their postpartum bodies for a few months... just stick to a reasonable diet (take breastfeeding into account if you are) and enjoy your daughter! She's only going to be little like this for a short time. Just give her all your love :heart:
  • ScottishMrs
    ScottishMrs Posts: 254 Member
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    They say it takes 2 years after having a baby before your body truly returns to the way it was before, but that doesn't mean you can't work harder and get there sooner. Congratulations on your baby! Enjoy it. There are plenty of exercises out there too that you can use your baby for: http://www.babyzone.com/mom/moms-fitness-and-diet/exercise-with-baby-postpartum-exercises_70274. You can find lots more by googling "exercising with baby" or "postpartum exercises".
  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
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    You should see my "right after baby" pics.... it all came off in time. Congratulations on your baby, and try not to stress this now. :)
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    I'm not a woman nor am I with child but.... "she destroyed me" sounds... a bit harsh don't it?
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    Congratulations on your baby!! :flowerforyou:

    Just give it time. I know you're probably exhausted and adjusting to life as a mom... so go easy on yourself! It took 9 months for your body to get to what it is today and it will take time (perhaps as much? Dare I say possibly more) to get back to "normal". It will get better. I know women who have kept their postpartum bodies for a few months... just stick to a reasonable diet (take breastfeeding into account if you are) and enjoy your daughter! She's only going to be little like this for a short time. Just give her all your love :heart:

    This is pretty much what I was going to say. It takes time. Just don't try to get back to your "normal" too quickly... Your body needs high quality nourishing... Especially if you're breastfeeding.

    And yeah... Destroyed is pretty harsh sounding, but it generated interest.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
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    I'm not a woman nor am I with child but.... "she destroyed me" sounds... a bit harsh don't it?

    It does. Any chance you have post-partum depression?
  • Babeskeez
    Babeskeez Posts: 606 Member
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    Hey there! I'm back on here after a 2 year absence. I was 200 lbs and lost 60. Looked great, felt great, got pregnant. Now the baby is 7 weeks old, I'm 185 again (bed rest), and I'm ready to get moving. I've done a few days of tracking, but I'm having a hard time meeting goals under the stress and business of the new baby. I'm also concerned about how torn up my stomach looks now. My belly looks like a saggy river map. :(..... any advice?


    Your baby didnt destroy you. Your pregnancy did. Hugs. You will make it through. Dont be too hard on yourself. Your baby is only 7wks old.


    Now, on the other hand if you think you are feeling thoughts of PPD, please get help. I am here to talk if you need it. I have BTDT. You need to give yourself lots of grace. Your body took 9mths to gain and make a baby, you need to give it AT LEAST that to get back to shape.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    I'm not a woman nor am I with child but.... "she destroyed me" sounds... a bit harsh don't it?

    I don't have kids, but I'd think if I did it be great. So what if it takes a year to lose the weight. You just created a person. That's awesome. Destroyed you? Errr...poor kid
  • weese17
    weese17 Posts: 236 Member
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    Please, please please take it easy on yourself right now.

    You're a first time mom with a newborn. Right now your goals should be:

    - Keeping the baby alive.
    - Keeping yourself fed, as rested as possible, and sane.

    That's it! Everything else is extra. I understand the feeling of your baby destroying your body -- Lord knows, my two kiddos definitely destroyed my body for a while -- but give yourself time. It took you 9 months to put on the weight; give yourself at least 9 months to take it back off. Your hormones right now are completely outta wack - give them time to get back to normal (or the new normal!), take a bit to breathe, and THEN think about weight loss. If you try to kill yourself with exercise right now, you will probably just get injured because you still have relaxin in your system.

    If you can, take easy walks with the baby strapped on your chest. The fresh air and sun will do you both good, and walking is an easy way to work into the bigger stuff.

    Hugs. It gets easier. I promise.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    This is the exact amount of money I'm willing to bet you will get more advice on how to phrase a thread title and how not to talk about your baby than you will for whatever it is you actually want advice on.

    penny,+nickels+and+dimes.jpg
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    Oh, I get it. This is the day when people only read the title, then go in a thread to insult the OP on the way the title was phrased! I was confused at first because when I actually read her comment in addition to the title, I never sensed she resented her baby.

    OP~ I know it can be depressing to gain weight, even for such a wonderful purpose. You've lost the weight before, so you know what to do. You can do this.

    Congrats on the new baby!
  • Tenzuya
    Tenzuya Posts: 64
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    By "My belly looks like a saggy river map" i'm assuming you're talking about stretch marks, ive heard that coconut oil helps reduce the visibilty of stretch marks if applied everyday.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    Oh, I get it. This is the day when people only read the title, then go in a thread to insult the OP on the way the title was phrased! I was confused at first because when I actually read her comment in addition to the title, I never sensed she resented her baby.

    OP~ I know it can be depressing to gain weight, even for such a wonderful purpose. You've lost the weight before, so you know what to do. You can do this.

    Congrats on the new baby!

    ^^^This.

    OP - just take it slow and steady, work on eating lots of lean meats and vegetables, and certainly enough calories if you are breastfeeding. Try to add little bits of activity during the day, whether it's doing some squats or pushups (or knee pushups, whatever you can do). Just consciously choosing to move 15-30 minutes of the day will make you feel strong and condition you to want to move more.

    We're our own worst critics, I'm sure you're being hard on yourself. With time, persistence and some work, you will be looking pre-baby again soon. :)

    Congrats on the new baby :D
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Hey there! I'm back on here after a 2 year absence. I was 200 lbs and lost 60. Looked great, felt great, got pregnant. Now the baby is 7 weeks old, I'm 185 again (bed rest), and I'm ready to get moving. I've done a few days of tracking, but I'm having a hard time meeting goals under the stress and business of the new baby. I'm also concerned about how torn up my stomach looks now. My belly looks like a saggy river map. :(..... any advice?

    I'm sorry about your stomach.....I still don't like your thread title. I am not a woman....and have never had a kid....so I can not speak from my experience but my wife broke her tailbone during delivery.......She couldn't sit right for months. It's been 6 years and it still hurts sometimes. That woman is a superhero. I would just count your blessings that you just have minor skin issues to deal with and be thankful for your beautiful baby.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    Please, please please take it easy on yourself right now.

    You're a first time mom with a newborn. Right now your goals should be:

    - Keeping the baby alive.
    - Keeping yourself fed, as rested as possible, and sane.

    That's it! Everything else is extra. I understand the feeling of your baby destroying your body -- Lord knows, my two kiddos definitely destroyed my body for a while -- but give yourself time. It took you 9 months to put on the weight; give yourself at least 9 months to take it back off. Your hormones right now are completely outta wack - give them time to get back to normal (or the new normal!), take a bit to breathe, and THEN think about weight loss. If you try to kill yourself with exercise right now, you will probably just get injured because you still have relaxin in your system.

    If you can, take easy walks with the baby strapped on your chest. The fresh air and sun will do you both good, and walking is an easy way to work into the bigger stuff.

    Hugs. It gets easier. I promise.

    This. Give yourself time. Take it slow. TRY not to beat yourself up. Even if you don't have full blown depression every mother has hormone issues for the first few months.