I love my baby even though she destroyed me.

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  • rebeccawanta
    rebeccawanta Posts: 8
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    I know how you feel! I'm not a fan of my stretch marks either and it's ok to feel that way. My baby is 3 months old. I'm with most everyone else you have to start out slow. I had a c-section so I couldn't get back on my feet as fast as I wanted to. What I did at first was just carry my new baby all over the house to get myself moving. You can do it and it will get better! Having other non judgey moms for support is good too :)
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
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    I agree with others that the title is rather harsh. I don't really think you think your child "destroyed" you.

    Right now you should be focusing on taking care of your sweet baby and yourself. It's hard enough being a new mommy with out stressing over your physical appearance. You're only 27 and your body will bounce back better than you expect. For now wear a girdle. It might be uncomfortable but it will help. Clearly you know how to get back in shape since you've already done it once. Eat good healthy foods and exercise.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    People need to lighten up. I'm sure what the OP meant is "she destroyed my stomach," which is a totally normal feeling to have.


    OP, like weese said, focus on your beautiful baby girl right now. The weight will come off, much faster than you'd imagine (YAY NURSING!)

    In regards to your stomach, the stretch marks will *never* go away, but, they WILL become much less noticeable over time...almost nonexistant. Three things will help with the sagging and the stretch marks:

    1. Time. Seriously....it takes a long time for things to "tighten" back up if you will. Be patient.
    2. Moisturize. I use a body lotion with collagen, and it's done wonders. Don't bother with any of the "stretchmark" or "scar" removal oils and creams. They don't work. Just get a good body lotion, and remember to moisturize after you shower, paying special attention to your stomach.
    3. Strength train. I *can't* stress this enough. My stomach looked the same for 3 years after giving birth. In fact, the more weight I loss, the worse it looked. Once I started moisturize, it got better, but when I started strength training (as in, lifting REALLY heavy things and putting them down), my skin really started *snapping* back into place. Of course, I also have age on my side. The younger you are, the more likely it is that, while it'll never return back to pre-baby status, your stomach will regain it's shape, and you won't have very much, if any saggy skin to deal with.


    Just remember, it won't happen over night. Embrace your stretch marks. They're proof of what the human body is capable of, and they're a wonderful reminder of the beautiful little girl you brought into the world. Best of luck.
  • SlickFootAnna
    SlickFootAnna Posts: 611 Member
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    She destroyed you? WTF?
    You had a child what did you expect was going to happen? Your body to remain intact? Perhaps you should of thought of the consequences and the things that would change with bringing a CHILD into this world.

    Now go get off your butt and fix the sh&t that is bothering you and stop saying those horrible things about someone who has NO FAULT over your body.
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
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    People need to lighten up. I'm sure what the OP meant is "she destroyed my stomach," which is a totally normal feeling to have.


    OP, like weese said, focus on your beautiful baby girl right now. The weight will come off, much faster than you'd imagine (YAY NURSING!)

    In regards to your stomach, the stretch marks will *never* go away, but, they WILL become much less noticeable over time...almost nonexistant. Three things will help with the sagging and the stretch marks:

    1. Time. Seriously....it takes a long time for things to "tighten" back up if you will. Be patient.
    2. Moisturize. I use a body lotion with collagen, and it's done wonders. Don't bother with any of the "stretchmark" or "scar" removal oils and creams. They don't work. Just get a good body lotion, and remember to moisturize after you shower, paying special attention to your stomach.
    3. Strength train. I *can't* stress this enough. My stomach looked the same for 3 years after giving birth. In fact, the more weight I loss, the worse it looked. Once I started moisturize, it got better, but when I started strength training (as in, lifting REALLY heavy things and putting them down), my skin really started *snapping* back into place. Of course, I also have age on my side. The younger you are, the more likely it is that, while it'll never return back to pre-baby status, your stomach will regain it's shape, and you won't have very much, if any saggy skin to deal with.


    Just remember, it won't happen over night. Embrace your stretch marks. They're proof of what the human body is capable of, and they're a wonderful reminder of the beautiful little girl you brought into the world. Best of luck.



    Brilliant post.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I would see if they'll let you edit this title. Your body is not destroyed. Your body will be stronger. Your body has been through something magnificent.


    I understand how difficult it is to wrap your brain around a post baby body. With my daughter, after she was born I was 200lbs. That was 60lbs up from where I was before I had gotten pregnant.

    Take it slow, work out as you can. Get rest.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Ha!
    Wait till she's a teenager. THEN she'll destroy you.
  • BaconMD
    BaconMD Posts: 1,165 Member
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    "She destroyed me?" That's a little harsh.

    It's entirely possible that the OP's baby destroyed her.

    Ask my mom.

    36 hours of labor later, I was born into this world at 11lbs 1oz...

    After me, four other babies just kinda fell out.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Congrats on your baby.
    To the rest that are so shocked about the title.
    I say lighten up life is too short don't trip.:flowerforyou:
  • jsmith2377
    jsmith2377 Posts: 208 Member
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    I'm not a woman nor am I with child but.... "she destroyed me" sounds... a bit harsh don't it?

    I don't have kids, but I'd think if I did it be great. So what if it takes a year to lose the weight. You just created a person. That's awesome. Destroyed you? Errr...poor kid

    I'm sure she meant it in a light manner. I have two kids and my stomach will never look the same. It looks a bit like a wrinkled road map. I love my kids and I like to lovingly say they wrecked my tummy. I'll say it to them when their teens too.
  • iampanda
    iampanda Posts: 176 Member
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    My piece of advice- be reasonable with your goals. It took 9 months to build life inside your body- no easy task. It may take that long, and likely longer, for your body to get back to where it was. You are not destroyed. And while I am not going to nit-pick your choice of words, I do think you need to keep an eye on your attitude- that will affect a lot. Don't expect everything to snap back overnight. Appreciate the miracle of what you did. Its not like you gained the weight and stretch marks for nothing. Instead of focusing on the negatives of what pregnancy "did" to you, focus on the good that came out of it. A healthy baby, a new journey, and hopefully a new respect for what the female body can do! You won't be scarred and stretched forever, your babe is only 7 weeks- that's not long. Once you get back into a routine, things will start shifting. So don't worry! And enjoy your new baby! :)
  • dp1228
    dp1228 Posts: 439 Member
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    She destroyed you? WTF?
    You had a child what did you expect was going to happen? Your body to remain intact? Perhaps you should of thought of the consequences and the things that would change with bringing a CHILD into this world.

    Now go get off your butt and fix the sh&t that is bothering you and stop saying those horrible things about someone who has NO FAULT over your body.

    LMAO woah. did you forget to take your pills this morning? you sound like a raging lunatic. chill out. all she means is her pregnancy effed up her body. you make it seem like she hates her child. relax woman! :noway:
  • iampanda
    iampanda Posts: 176 Member
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    People need to lighten up. I'm sure what the OP meant is "she destroyed my stomach," which is a totally normal feeling to have.


    OP, like weese said, focus on your beautiful baby girl right now. The weight will come off, much faster than you'd imagine (YAY NURSING!)

    In regards to your stomach, the stretch marks will *never* go away, but, they WILL become much less noticeable over time...almost nonexistant. Three things will help with the sagging and the stretch marks:

    1. Time. Seriously....it takes a long time for things to "tighten" back up if you will. Be patient.
    2. Moisturize. I use a body lotion with collagen, and it's done wonders. Don't bother with any of the "stretchmark" or "scar" removal oils and creams. They don't work. Just get a good body lotion, and remember to moisturize after you shower, paying special attention to your stomach.
    3. Strength train. I *can't* stress this enough. My stomach looked the same for 3 years after giving birth. In fact, the more weight I loss, the worse it looked. Once I started moisturize, it got better, but when I started strength training (as in, lifting REALLY heavy things and putting them down), my skin really started *snapping* back into place. Of course, I also have age on my side. The younger you are, the more likely it is that, while it'll never return back to pre-baby status, your stomach will regain it's shape, and you won't have very much, if any saggy skin to deal with.


    Just remember, it won't happen over night. Embrace your stretch marks. They're proof of what the human body is capable of, and they're a wonderful reminder of the beautiful little girl you brought into the world. Best of luck.



    Brilliant post.

    I second that. Well said.
  • MrsBobaFett
    MrsBobaFett Posts: 802 Member
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    Wear it with pride for now!! My tummy still looks pretty bad and my son is 2 next month. Your body has gone through a traumatic time, pregnancy, childbirth etc. When your body has recovered then you can take steps into improving how it looks.

    The stretch marks will fade, I have them all over my stomach, legs, boobs you name it but I love them, they are a constant reminder of what a warrior I am. The pouch you can improve with exercise, nursing also helps a great deal!

    Enjoy your baby and concentrate on every little moment you spend with her.

    She hasn't destroyed you..
  • flower_chops
    flower_chops Posts: 59 Member
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    I'm a babywearing (sling!) instructor and wearing your baby in a sling is excellent yet gentle exercise helping to strengthen core and is great for all-round lovely snuggles too :)
  • BamaBreezeNSaltAire
    BamaBreezeNSaltAire Posts: 966 Member
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    Your body is not "destroyed"!!!

    I am an effing Tiger who EARNED these stripes...twice! EVERY DAMN ONE OF THEM! Turn your thinking around and the rest will go back in place!

    Congrats mommy, it's all worth it!
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
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    Title is pretty harsh, like others have said and it makes me a bit uncomfortable as a mom to see someone write that...

    That aside, you JUST HAD A BABY! It took you 9-10 MONTHS to create a life! It is not going to be just some automatic thing for your body to go back to pre-pregnancy. Give it 9 months before you start to criticize your body so badly.

    I agree with what some others said as well. Your attention needs to be to your baby as well as your health. Which brings me to post-partum depression. That is a very serious matter and you probably should go talk to a doctor.

    Give it time, just eat right and everything else will fall in place. When your daughter is a bit older, and you a bit stronger and more adapted to the mother-life, start some simple exercises when your daughter naps.
  • caseym87
    caseym87 Posts: 26 Member
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    Congratulations on your new baby girl! It will be great for her to grow up with a mommy who can teach her healthy habits :)
  • Ashshell
    Ashshell Posts: 185
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    OP:

    Please give yourself some time before you freak out. Enjoy your baby. Newborns can be boring at times because all they do is sleep and eat so you may have a lot of time to focus on yourself right now. I assure you, after your baby becomes more interactive you won't care as much. I know how it is. My son is two and I am just now motivated to work on my body. Also, your 7 week PP body is NOT the body you are left with. I promise. I got quite a few stretch marks on my belly (at week 38...almost made it) and after a year they weren't even noticeable at all. Your belly will tighten up a bit and if you start exercising that will definitely speed up the process. There is a great chance that you CAN achieve a flat stomach again even if it doesn't seem as if that is an option right now. Try to relax and understand that it will take time and that is okay.
  • Fox_n_sox
    Fox_n_sox Posts: 283 Member
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    Enjoy your baby. Are you bfing? I wouldn't jump into a diet if you are. You need to take in more calories to help your daughter feed and to make sure you are not depriving yourself of the nutrients you need. So small things such as walking with her in a stroller. It's going to take you time to get back into your pre-baby shape. It took 40 weeks to get that way, it's going to take at least 40 to get back.

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