How do you put up with jealous/rude comments

pinkperfume

They probably aren't used to seeing the, "new you". They saw you as one way for years and then all of a sudden, you look different. They compare the old you to the new you and the "new you" looks thin (not too thin) but they are comparing the old to the new. A stranger wouldn't meet the new you and think you're too thin (bc you're not). Give it time, ask them to chill out on the comments about YOU and then in due time , they will forget what the old you looked like and start seeing the new you as the REAL YOU. It will pass.

DON'T use food as your crutch again, bc you see where it got you. You're not happy at this heavier weight. Let this be your lesson. when you're hurt find a way to deal with it besides eating. You sound like an emotional eater. make a list of things you can do in place eating. Make the list now vs waiting until you're upset to figure out what to do.

If you have a good friend you can call, that would be ideal. I usually call a friend who talks me out of doing something crazy (like over eating).

pinkperfume

Wanted to add that when you're upset from comments. . .

You could also jump on MFP when you're upset and post immediately, that you are upset and thinking of binging. There seems to be a lot of ppl on here at all times and I bet you'll find several to talk some sense into you and make you feel better within minutes before you eat. Emotional eating and binging is a disorder you'll probably have for life. I have it and some days I do so good and then other days, I can't eat enough and it's bc I am depressed. Sometimes I binge, just bc something inside of me tells me too but not sure why.

SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish

From your pictures, you don't look overweight (or maybe that's a "before, when I was at my ideal weight"?). I would get a medical opinion and rule out the possibility you may have an eating disorder, and if your doctor also thinks your goal is a healthy weight to be at, I'd thank the commenters for the "compliment" as you get there and take it as a validation you are making a big change. If you can get to a healthy weight that makes you feel good too, other's opinions dont really matter, change the people and find someone who supports your healthy weight instead of changing your weight!

HSingMomto7Kids

That is so tough when you want the support!! You are doing great!

j4nash

i got the you're too skinny comments too, but flip side is these fools haven't seen me anything other than fat

neva4saken

Well when those closest to our hearts hurt us we tend to retreat back to what we are most comfortable with. When I was diagnosed as morbid obesed no one in my family up to that point said a word. But when I lost over 100lbs and I was athletic and energetic and feeling and looking great, oh now i am a gym rat. Or you must be starving yourself or something else negative, people have a tendancy to tear down what they are jealous of it makes them more secure about themselves. I made up my mind they couldn't say hey you're getting out of shape, or you're overweight or stop me from killing myself (although it was not their responsiblity) so once i made my mind up to better myself and regain my health I dare not permit them to penetrate me now. Now that you've slipped and fallen off the wagon, climb back on, and do it for you. It's your life, your health, your well being, DO IT FOR YOU and no one else approval or disapproval will ever knock you off the wagon again! You are worth it!

anifani4

A couple months back, I had reached my goal weight and got rude comments from family members about my weight. Either I was too skinny, or looked sick, or looked skeletal, or looked like I was dying. It hurt me and all I did was binge back every single pound that took me a year to lose. I feel so ashamed of this but I'm restarting again, no excuses and no more eating because i'm deppressed. But I know these comments from coworkers, " friends " and family members will keep coming back. I know I can ignore it, but it really gets to me because these comments are from people who I care about. What can I do? I'm sorry if i'm venting I just didnt know where else to turn, i'm just so sick of it.

Here's an idea. Answer with the question, "Why do you think that? " They just might say because you're so much thinner than you used to be. Then you can say, " this is how I want to be because I feel so much stronger and healthier. You'll have to get used to it." If they keep on, you can ask them to stop or keep their opinions to themselves.

Don't feel too badly about the binging and regaining. It's happened to me a number of times and to many others. I see it as a learning process. You look at what's happened and figure out a way to do it differently next time. And that's exactly what you're doing by asking for advice here. You've got some good responses to think about. All the best to you.

AnnaMarieDinVa

I need to lose weight, but I am tall, so it doesn't look like as much as it really is, and my co-workers need to lose approx. 3 to 4 times what I do -- hence their perspective. I tell them the absolute truth. When they say, "you don't need to lose any more weight" I reply, "well, my doctor says I do...and she went to medical school, so I am going to go with her opinion..." That usually quiets them down.

antdogs

everyone is telling me that too about how im eating salads and healthy food and fruits everyday im the same i just irgnore it and move on

peleroja

I get a lot of this crap too because I'm at a "healthy" weight already, with a normal bmi and all that. But I'm small framed, not fit, and a classic case of skinny fat, which no one who doesn't see me naked really gets. I have a ton of weight that can be lost and still be in a healthy range - 20 lbs! Every time someone mocks my diet, it is so frustrating. I'm not stupid and I know I'm not overweight, but I know that I could look so much better.

twoss9112

Oh everybody has SOMEthing to say, and much of it comes from their own insecurity or something lacking in their own life. If they make comments about you being too thin its because they feel bad that they aren't or can't be thinner or more fit, or whatever their self imposed drawback is. It's easier to put other people down than to bring yourself up and do something about it, or find something to draw joy from in your own life. Sometimes people make themselves feel better by tearing others down.

Other people just can't fathom changing their own habits, or can't believe that other people do not eat what they eat, so they stupidly open their mouths without stopping to think that maybe their way isn't the only way. "You're really eating that?" or "Why don't you have this?" and my favorite... "Is that ALL you're going to eat?" This one usually comes from people who eat like crap and in large quantities. Why yes, this normal sized turkey wrap with avocado, some light dressing and mixed greens IS all I'm going to eat, thank you.

Ignore everyone and just remind yourself that they don't know anything about you or your journey and it's not their business.

JonnyR214

Wow firstly I want to thank all of you for the support!! Very good ideas from each & every one of you thank you! thank you! Oh i'm 5'7 btw, I would binge out of stress from rude side comments, workplace stress, boredom, etc. My doctor says I was fine and at a healthy weight before, but now being about 160, I'll just try my best to lose it this time and keep it off, thanks again everyone

JeneticTraining

I don't put up with it. I state how I feel about their comments and negativity. I'm not going to let their negativity drag me down. I just smile cause I know I want and have changed for the better.

Negativity.....

Ain't nobody got time for dat!


Also, if you need some support and advice, I'm here for ya!

bunbunzee44

I tell them how much and how often I really eat. That usually helps. But yes, you may have to do it often and even to the same people. Some of them will eventually shut up. If not, I'll start commenting on their weight and eating habits. >.> Haven't done that yet, but I will if they will say hurtful things about my body again.

PaleoChocolateBear

Remember misery loves company, if they are unhappy then they will try to bring others down. Try not to let it get to you and continue your workout and try to find others who support your goals

khall86790

Put up with it by ignoring it and being happy with what you see in the mirror every day.

kooltray87

Negative comments are apart of life. Especially from family. My fam can be rather discouraging sometimes and not even realize it. That's why I don't let it get to me. I know that behind all their annoying, unwanted comments there is only love and concern for me. Next time someone says something to you, instead of focusing on what they said think of WHY they said it. Is it ignorance, jealousy, love, worry, hatred? Brush all negative things aside and embrace only things that will motivate and encourage you. NEVER allow someone else to control your path in life. Its YOUR life, so do what makes YOU happy.

lithezebra

I've gotten a lot more positive comments than rude ones.

My dad still tries to make me feel fat with little jabs, but that's just the way he's always been. Regardless of my weight, he'll always remind me that someone else is thinner. I walk away from it.