My first negative reaction.

splitdog79

So it was kind of weird last night. Since my ex and I split up we have tried to be amicable and yesterday we took our kids to the park and out shopping together.

It was a pleasant enough day with no fighting or anything until she brought up going to a restaurant for dinner. I said that was cool and all but that they'd have to excuse me for not eating since my remaining calorie allotment was pretty low and I'm not a big fan of buffets to begin with.

So she flips out a and goes on this rant about how some people aren't meant to be skinny and that it didn't look good on me anyways and all that jazz.

I just don't understand why someone would say something so unprovoked and cruel as that. I've been nothing but supportive in her efforts to lose weight. As the mother of my kids I've really encouraged her efforts to improve her health for their sake at the very least .

However she may feel about me is, I'm sure, colored by years of a really crappy marriage. What struck me as silly though was the idea of some people not being meant to be thin. I'm sure it was way more natural when I weighed almost 400 pounds.

Anyways, this is the first time anyone had expressed anything less than total support and positivity regarding my weight loss and it kind of just threw me for a loop.

CoachReddy

pretty simple - she's jealous of your success and your self control that sh'es personally lacking.

any time someone gets angry for "no reason" it's generally because they're projecting their own inadequacies and taking it out on someone other than themselves.

pg3ibew

Just one of the many reasons you guys aren'tt ogether any longer. Let it slide.

jonnythan

She is jealous of your success and is trying to tear you down and make you feel bad about it. That simple.

neacail

Yup. She's jealous of your success. Don't let it colour how you feel about your success.

bkelley32148

Sometimes what seems as an attack to us, and I'm sure it was an uncomfortable situation, is that individual expressing his/her frustration with him/herself. it is much easier to launch on someone else than to deal with our feelings of ourself. Keep your head up and keep doing what you are doing.

sylviatx

SHE is probably "not meant to be skinny" LOL. Blow it off. Keep on keeping on. You are doing great.

Itchula

You lost 177lbs??? HOLY CRAP!! Congrats --

cleback

Agreed with the above posters. Your self-control made her feel guilty about eating at the buffet.

dez_yaoichan

pretty simple - she's jealous of your success and your self control that sh'es personally lacking.

any time someone gets angry for "no reason" it's generally because they're projecting their own inadequacies and taking it out on someone other than themselves.

very true. if she's angry, it's at herself. she may have said that "not everyone is meant to be thin" to you, but i'm 75% sure it's how she feels about herself.

the other 25% of me feels that she's kinda finding you hot and doesn't want you to know. and I do think it's true 100% but I don't think it's the total reason for being so angry.

BellaLunaFleur

She is jealous. My friend is sitting here with me and she says tell her where you live and she will flirt with you in front of her.

angbieb

I agree with the previous posters...she's jealous.
I disagree with your ex..by looking at your profile pic, being skinny looks damn good on you! Keep it up!
177=incredible!!!

whitecapwendy

jealously over your efforts and success and probably feeling guilty over choosing a buffet. In the same way that misery loves company, A binge longs for company and support as well.

sac4fd

Don't take it personal. What others say is a projection of their own reality, what they are going through and dealing with. She is angry and disappointed in herself, not you.

jmc0806

I've got to agree with all the jealousy comments and probably her own frustration in trying. You're doing great and just ignore it

TrailRunner61

I'd just consider the source and ignore it. You're doing amazing!

sunsnstatheart

Well done, sir, on your progress! Someone tearing you down for that is someone you should probably just ignore.

Athena53

You're a great example for your kids- both in losing all that weight and in remaining civil at her snarky observation. Keep going.

DavPul

It's your ex. She's your ex for a reason. You have to keep it friendly as possible because of the kids, but never ever let her get to you. Brush that dirt off your shoulder.

glovepuppet

sounds like jealousy/guilt.
she might be kicking herself for being such a cow. for the sake of the kids, i'd let it slide if it's a one off.

Soloflyergirl2

First., Congratulations on your weight loss. Secondly, ( as a former teacher), that was was nice there was an attempt to be together as a family, for the children. Third, this was your "first" negative reaction about your weight loss, from someone you once loved..... so here's the deal. In My Fitness Pal, we have discussed that the people we want the best reactions from are the ones we get the negativity from. There could be a number of reasons: jealousy, frustration with not meeting their own weight goals , and maybe more. But.... turn lemons into lemonade..... turn around and say... looks like you are working on a plan, too. In my plan, I have 200 calories to go, so I'm going to have some fruits or veggies. .... and then drop the subject.... You are in a new chapter of life..... no arguments., no bickering..... Be positive in your response. It freaks people out when you do that instead of pout or insult in retaliation. Diffuse the enemy. If you know you are going to buffets ahead of time... you know what to do... If it was last minute.... just think how strong you have become toward sticking to your goal . Good for you... You will have a longer , healthier life . Your children will appreciate that; and that is what is important.:flowerforyou: