Trying to overcome my parents' bullying

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Replies

  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    So...stop with the victim mentality and do something about it?

    I'm not trying to be a 'victim'. If only you knew how hard it was growing up that way. I can't just get over it. I'm sick of comments like that.

    That is just it - people who respond like this have no idea what it is like to grow up in an abusive home with dysfunctional parents. It creates a lot of internal conflict where on one side you want to have a relationship with your parents but at the same time, its driving you into the ground. I like to think that just because those are your "parents" - they still have no right to treat you like crap. What you experienced was without a doubt abuse.

    I hate reading stories like yours...it makes me sick to my stomach that parents do this to their children without even realizing how sick they truly are. I think these people are very twisted...and have no business being parents, and they have no right to expect any sort of relationship from you, though that is entirely your choice.

    Children have rights too.
  • sangeyvang
    sangeyvang Posts: 182
    I had lame old relatives tell me all the time about how fat I was, even when I was at my skinniest, I was still fat to them. I never said anything back to them, but it pissed me off so much cause every time they see me they always ask my parents why I'm so big. It got to the point where I started saying crap back to those relatives telling them that I didn't care if I was fat and I don't care what they think.

    But now, all you gotta do is live a good healthy life, and be comfortable in your own skin. Show them that you are better than what they made you out to be. Prove them wrong.
  • Sqeekyjojo
    Sqeekyjojo Posts: 704 Member
    From the perspective of someone told at the age of nine 'you're fat and greedy, no wonder nobody likes you' because I'd eaten some crackers without permission (and I wasn't even remotely near fat);

    That was then.

    You're not a little kid anymore.

    You're a grown woman.

    Dwelling on what they said or did achieves nothing, other than making it
    more appealing to run off and hide in a closet with a box of cookies and a multipack of chips to try and squish and swallow the bad feelings down.

    Yes, those things hurt. But you don't have to dwell upon them now and give them more power over your adult life, too.
  • maegmez
    maegmez Posts: 341 Member
    I haven't read all the replies but you have to dig out the strength in you. You are here so I know you are stronger. You MUST let the past go and move on. Have a talk with your parents about how much they hurt you, tell them you forgive them and then move on. Let them make the next move.

    And before you say I don't understand, my childhood was filled with beatings so bad I ended up with several bloody noses. I was assaulted physically and sexually by the parent who was supposed to take care of me. When I told my other parent about the beatings, I was told to call the police. Well, why would I after that comment?

    But you know what? I was determined not to become a statistic! I felt I was so strong. Then I decided to go to church one day and I broke down in tears. I felt the warmest embrace and realised at that point that it wasn't me being strong, it was God giving me the strength and courage to continue on with my life.

    Will I ever forget? No way, never! I had to forgive and move on just as Jesus forgives us. it give peace to our lives. You have to search out the Lessing in every situation, sometimes, you don't find it until later in life. However, so many others have it worse off than I did.

    I have been married now for 10 years to an amazing man that leads his family spiritually and we have 4 amazing children. We are not religious, just ordinary children of God that believe we are all equal.

    If you ever need to talk, please feel free to add me.

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