I keep failing...

Isabella_De_Santis

I've been trying to lose weight for the past two years but i keep failing. Everytime i lose a few kilos, i fall off the wagon and pick up all the weight and recently 6 extra kilos. I am so frustrated but i really want to take control of my life and lose this weight.
Please share your tips for helping stay on the road to weight loss... I am really desperate.

tahndlovu

do you record or track yo weight

Isabella_De_Santis

Yes i do... i stay motivated for two weeks then just give in to my old eating habits. I do exercise every day though.
I recently started pilates and today was day 11...

Athena98501

I've been trying to lose weight for the past two years but i keep failing. Everytime i lose a few kilos, i fall off the wagon and pick up all the weight and recently 6 extra kilos. I am so frustrated but i really want to take control of my life and lose this weight.
Please share your tips for helping stay on the road to weight loss... I am really desperate.

That's not failing, that's quitting. You have to make long-term changes, rather than the dieting and quitting cycle. As far as staying motivated, the best I can tell is you is to keep focused on the reasons you want to lose weight, and maybe search out some new ones. The more urgent the reasons, the less you'll find your motivation flagging.

rosiereally2

You don't fail until you stop trying.

LavenderBouquet

Are you trying to drastically change your diet when you try and lose weight? I think it can best for some to slowly incorporate healthier choices into their existing eating style, that way it becomes habit and part of your normal eating routine.

mirandacox

This sounds exactly like me. I do well for a while and then I fall back to my old ways. I think I am going to reward my self with non-food items...like new jeans when I lose weight or something tangible within reason that makes me feel good so I always have a goal. Plus I have to remember how good it feels. I am now going to ask for help everytime I start to slip back. Btw, my name is Miranda and I am fairly new to this. I saw your post and thought that sounds exactly like me.

BlueObsidian

Yes i do... i stay motivated for two weeks then just give in to my old eating habits.

Why do you think you give up on healthy eating at that point? Figure that out, and you'll figure out how to stick with it.

For me, I had to deal with the emotional and mental issues that drove me to overeating. When I just tried to force myself into a new diet plan without addressing the cause of my bad habits, I'd only last a few weeks before I quit. I also had to stop treating foods as being "bad" or "off-limits." Once I told myself I could never touch my favorite treats again, they suddenly became all I wanted and I would end up binging on them. This time around, I've carved out room in my daily meal plan for small portions of sweets or other less-healthy choices.

But that's what helped me. Other people find that keeping their trigger foods completely out of sight is the best bet for them. Or they start by making one small diet change at a time instead of trying to do everything at once and getting overwhelmed. You've got to figure out why you are quitting and what you need to do to stay on track.

skinnyinnotime

I've been trying to lose weight for the past two years but i keep failing. Everytime i lose a few kilos, i fall off the wagon and pick up all the weight and recently 6 extra kilos. I am so frustrated but i really want to take control of my life and lose this weight.
Please share your tips for helping stay on the road to weight loss... I am really desperate.

You're not desperate enough...otherwise you'd get on with it.

No one can offer you tips for will power, it's down to you!

Isabella_De_Santis

This sounds exactly like me. I do well for a while and then I fall back to my old ways. I think I am going to reward my self with non-food items...like new jeans when I lose weight or something tangible within reason that makes me feel good so I always have a goal. Plus I have to remember how good it feels. I am now going to ask for help everytime I start to slip back. Btw, my name is Miranda and I am fairly new to this. I saw your post and thought that sounds exactly like me.

Good idea Miranda, rewarding yourself with new jeans. I tried that a few weeks ago bought myself a new tracksuit and hung next to my mirror... did well for two weeks until i put it away... :sad:

sunsnstatheart

What have you been doing? Restrictive and fad diets often don't work because they're not sustainable for many people.

If you want to succeed in the long run, this is what I would suggest:

(1) make the commitment. Seriously, commit to yourself to losing weight and getting fit.
(2) spend time calculating your total daily energy expenditure and then commit to a 10% to 20% deficit from that (and yes if you are using the MFP calculations then eat back your exercise calories but be sure it's accurate as it's easy to overestimate calorie burns - maybe buy a heart rate monitor).
(3) take an honest look at your diet and make changes to make sure that you are getting adequate protein and fats and eating a basically well balanced diet with vegetables, fruit, lean protein, and ensuring that you are getting sufficient fiber and micronutrients.
(4) But do not get crazy with trying to eat the perfect diet. Allow yourself some treats. This both helps keep you sane and keeps you from rage quitting when you finally succumb to an urge and beat yourself up (been there!)
(5) weigh and measure your food so that you are honestly eating only what you think you are.
(6) start a strength training program to ensure that you RETAIN you current muscle mass while losing weight.
(7) I suggest also doing cardio as your cardiovascular health is important.
(8) don't weigh yourself at all for the first month. Heck, throw away your scale and focus on clothing size instead. But in any event, don't weigh yourself more than once a week and be consistent with the time of day.

This is what I did and do. It does work.

There are also some fabulous detailed posts out there like the "Roadmap" and the group "Eat Train, Progress" both written by smarter people than I. I am sure there are also others.

levicrouch

What finally got weight loss through my head was 2 things.

1. How the body and weight loss works.
2. Learning a strategy to make weight loss livable everyday.

To learn those 2 things i had to get out of my own head. I can't recommend it enough, sign up with a weight management program through your doctor. Find out what programs they offer and see which program works for you.

sPaRkLiNgLYFE

eating the right amount of calories and exercise helps, making a commitment is how you stay on track. a lot of people say they've been trying so hard to lose weight but if they're really honest with themselves they really weren't committed and usually give up when things don't happen as fast as they would like.

JesterMFP

First, you've got to want it; really want it. You need to make a decision, and be determined enough to see it through. You might feel "desperate", but you need more than that initial motivation. You need to be prepared to make sacrifices, and keep going through the hard times.

Second, my biggest tip would be: stop thinking of it as being on a wagon. Stop thinking of it as being on a diet. Make it a lifestyle change but don't fall into the trap of calling it a lifestyle change, while still maintaining that "dieting" mentality. What are you doing in those two weeks that is so different from your "normal" life? How differently are you eating? If you make huge, drastic overnight changes, then that will be really hard to sustain. Why don't you start with just eating what you like, but keeping within your calorie goal? Eating food that provides your body with good nutrition is a Very Good Thing, but you don't have to completely overhaul your diet overnight. For losing weight, a calorie deficit will do. The rest can happen gradually, over time.

I don't know how much you have to lose, or how much you've been eating, but I'd also recommend a fairly small calorie deficit, unless you're significantly obese (and even then, it's an option.) Smaller calorie deficits help you to maintain your lean mass (eg. muscle) so that you're losing mostly fat. It's also a lot easier to live with when you aren't drastically cutting your intake.

ETA: ok, I just noticed your ticker: I'd recommend aiming to lose no more than 1 lb per week, and dropping to 0.5 lb a week as you get closer to your goal.

Phaedra2014

I've been trying to lose weight for the past two years but i keep failing. Everytime i lose a few kilos, i fall off the wagon and pick up all the weight and recently 6 extra kilos. I am so frustrated but i really want to take control of my life and lose this weight.
Please share your tips for helping stay on the road to weight loss... I am really desperate.

It's a lot of work. Unless you (anybody, really) find it enjoyable, fun, exciting and rewarding, you won't stick with it. I don't reward myself with anything really. My reinforcement is totally intrinsic. I enjoy knowing I can accomplish goals.

sa11yjane

I know the feeling.....it is just so depressing, isn't it? Maybe we haven't sorted out the underlying reasons as to why we overeat? Just a thought. That aside, I am afraid that I have no answer so I look forward to seeing what others say. I feel for you though, you are not on your own xxx

skinnydreams19

I second purplesaurus - if you're trying to drastically overhaul your diet everytime you 'go on a diet' no wonder it fails! If you're trying to eat just 1200 or 1400 calories per day, it's no surprise - you get hungry!! Try to go for slow and steady, instead, with maybe 1800 (or 1600) calories per day and smaller diet changes - or even just cut back on 100 to 200 calories per day (two slices of bread!) and go from there!

beattie1

I've been trying to lose weight for the past two years but i keep failing. Everytime i lose a few kilos, i fall off the wagon and pick up all the weight and recently 6 extra kilos. I am so frustrated but i really want to take control of my life and lose this weight.
Please share your tips for helping stay on the road to weight loss... I am really desperate.

What you describe is what I do if I try TOO hard and try to follow an eating plan that's too restrictive. I'd suggest easing back a little and allowing yourself to have some more calories and treats. It's better to follow a diet where you lose a quarter of a kilo a week for six months ( = 6.5kg lost) than to lose 2kg in a fortnight, fall off the wagon and gain again, even if you manage to pick yourself up and start again a couple of times.

Railr0aderTony

Quit dieting and change your lifestyle, You can do it. But it is more of a mindset than anything else. Read this and you will understand how this all works.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/912920-in-place-of-a-road-map-3-2013

Markguns

1. Set a Goal and reward yourself when you reach it. Goal = something achievable. (not pie in the sky) oops I said pie! :laugh:
2. I identify triggers that make you fail and avoid, eliminate them.
3. Educate yourself, read info on MFP and other info.
4. Commit, Commit, Commit. DO YOU WANT IT? Then Do it.
5. "Do or Do not, there is no try." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ4yd2W50No :flowerforyou:

LeahT84

You need to want it bad enough to stick to it. For me, I looked at the health risks if I DIDN'T lose the weight and eat healthier. Don't restrict yourself or deprive yourself, you need to just make some changes. Lean poultry instead of beef, wheat instead of white. Track your calories and exercise every day no matter what you eat and no matter what you choose to do for exercise. You need to find something that gets you pumped up to workout so it seems fun. I blast music so that I can't hear the background noise. You're not failing at losing weight, you're giving up on dieting. You shouldn't go on a diet, you should make lifestyle changes and form good habits.

retiree2006

If you began by making drastic changes, don't. Take what you normally eat, work on eating correct portions and adjust recipes a little so you can still enjoy what you like with slight modifications. Add in extra vegetables and fruits as fillers. You won't feel as deprived and stand a better chance of eventually changing your eating to be more healthy over time. And make sure to move more, up the amount of water you drink, and when the day comes when you want to give up...just make it through that one day or hour (get busy with something else) and it will pass, plus it just might give you the motivation to continue on.

Set yourself up for success rather than failure...it sounds like you already know how to do that and how to talk yourself out of success. Good luck!

_SABOTEUR_

What have you been doing? Restrictive and fad diets often don't work because they're not sustainable for many people.

If you want to succeed in the long run, this is what I would suggest:

(1) make the commitment. Seriously, commit to yourself to losing weight and getting fit.
(2) spend time calculating your total daily energy expenditure and then commit to a 10% to 20% deficit from that (and yes if you are using the MFP calculations then eat back your exercise calories but be sure it's accurate as it's easy to overestimate calorie burns - maybe buy a heart rate monitor).
(3) take an honest look at your diet and make changes to make sure that you are getting adequate protein and fats and eating a basically well balanced diet with vegetables, fruit, lean protein, and ensuring that you are getting sufficient fiber and micronutrients.
(4) But do not get crazy with trying to eat the perfect diet. Allow yourself some treats. This both helps keep you sane and keeps you from rage quitting when you finally succumb to an urge and beat yourself up (been there!)
(5) weigh and measure your food so that you are honestly eating only what you think you are.
(6) start a strength training program to ensure that you RETAIN you current muscle mass while losing weight.
(7) I suggest also doing cardio as your cardiovascular health is important.
(8) don't weigh yourself at all for the first month. Heck, throw away your scale and focus on clothing size instead. But in any event, don't weigh yourself more than once a week and be consistent with the time of day.

This is what I did and do. It does work.

There are also some fabulous detailed posts out there like the "Roadmap" and the group "Eat Train, Progress" both written by smarter people than I. I am sure there are also others.

I have nothing to add.

whitecapwendy

It has taken me years to find what works for me. I finally decided to study what healthy eating really is. I eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies. I buy broccoli and baby carrots (and do some variety to keep things interesting) and make baggie of a mixture of thre veggies for the week (every Saturday routine), so when I am hungry, I grab a baggie of veggies. another thing I love is cut up fruit on baby spinach leaves. One bite of fruit with a few spinach leaves needs no dressing.

When I did this a couple years ago, I would go to bed clutching my stomach because I was hungry. That is when I realized that I was not putting enough whole grain in my diet. I will do whole grain breads and cereals (watching portion sizes). I especially love the Brownberry alSandwich thins. It allows me a whole roll for 100 calories. I keep the meats lean and watch portion size. This helps keep calories down as well.

I try to keep my net calories between 1200-1400. (this means after I have exercised I have ea ten back at least some of those calories). I try to eat 4 meals a day of between 300 and 400 calories. My body responds to this and weight melting off seems almost effortless. One thing I have had to learn is the difference between hunger and appetite. When I am wanting to keep eating after eating my portion of food I will wait about 20-25 minutes and realize that I am really satisfied. If my stomach is hurting, I realize that I am hungry and do something about it.

I am determined to make healthier eating a life choice, but to make it last, I have learned that I need to make some modifications. While I do not crave sweets much since not eating refined sugar, I also find that once in a while I feel deprived, so I am allowing myself an occasional meal where I watch portions, but enjoy something "unhealthy" that I love. And when the goodies are around, I will enjoy a taste, a bite, or a very small portion.

Another key is drinking a lot of water. I have over 100 pounds to lose, so my water intake needs to be at a high levewl. I usually drink anywhere from 80-120 ounces of water a day.

This works for me. I don't know what will work for you

maddymama

I haven't read the other answers, but here's my response....
1) Look at it as a series of choices. Reward yourself for the good choices.
2) I can control what I eat and how I workout. I cannot control specifically the number on the scale. I can choose to go workout, I can choose to eat a bit healthier. Some weeks it shows on the scales, some weeks it doesn't. That does not stop me from continually trying to make good choices and make less bad choices.

alijane9

Are you actually trying to lose weight?
I only ask cos at one time I thought I wanted to weigh xxxlbs and as time has gone on I have realised that what I actually want is to be healthy, have good skin, not to have my stomach hanging over the top of my trousers & back fat, be fit enough to walk a few miles without getting out of breath, enjoy swimming again, put my shoes on without falling over (what is that when you are fat???).
So, I have a different mindset. Everything I do can help me reach my goal - that might be eating a certain amount of calories, but it also might be focusing on eating the right amount of protein (for me) every day or eating loads of green veggies with every evening meal. It might also be working out how many times I can commit to the gym and then committing to it. I try and work out one thing I can change that gets me a bit nearer to where I want to be - nothing drastic, no willpower required, just changing one thing (I have a horrible feeling that there is a motivational talk/video/book out there with that title...)
Good luck and as others have pointed out, you only fail when you stop trying...

ChubbyBunny212

Years ago I was in your shoes. I'd do well and then....fall off the wagon. UNTIL one day I decided that there was something more important to me than eating anything I wanted. That "something" for me was CLOTHES. I wanted to look great in clothes. I wanted to shop for cute clothes. I wanted a closetful of cute clothes....and the only way I could get what I wanted was to make intelligent choices in the foods I ate, So I guess that meant that I couldn't "have my cake and eat it too".

Think about the different ways being overweight has negatively affected your life, for example: maybe it's kept you from doing what you want to do, from being the person you want to be, from getting the things you want to get, going to the places you want to go, having the job you want, or maybe even from having the relationship you always wanted. WHATEVER it is.....make it a PRIORITY over food. You've got to get passionate about it or it just won't matter enough for you to keep at it.

Meamo

one day at a time. don't quit!

pinksparklefairy

Try exercising more rather than reducing your food intake? Maybe start a new hobby like hiking/biking at the weekends with friends. Perhaps you need a more positive approach rather than denying yourself food.

I am three weeks into my diet and have lost barely any weight yet (I assume this is because I'm doing loads of exercise? ) . I feel like ordering pizza sometimes and having a "break" because dieting is no fun - but what's the point? Do you really want to spend years wishing you were slimmer or just go ahead and get it over with?

ldrosophila

seven falls, eight getting up

NutellaAddict

You don't want it enough to succeed.