I keep failing...

retiree2006

If you began by making drastic changes, don't. Take what you normally eat, work on eating correct portions and adjust recipes a little so you can still enjoy what you like with slight modifications. Add in extra vegetables and fruits as fillers. You won't feel as deprived and stand a better chance of eventually changing your eating to be more healthy over time. And make sure to move more, up the amount of water you drink, and when the day comes when you want to give up...just make it through that one day or hour (get busy with something else) and it will pass, plus it just might give you the motivation to continue on.

Set yourself up for success rather than failure...it sounds like you already know how to do that and how to talk yourself out of success. Good luck!

_SABOTEUR_

What have you been doing? Restrictive and fad diets often don't work because they're not sustainable for many people.

If you want to succeed in the long run, this is what I would suggest:

(1) make the commitment. Seriously, commit to yourself to losing weight and getting fit.
(2) spend time calculating your total daily energy expenditure and then commit to a 10% to 20% deficit from that (and yes if you are using the MFP calculations then eat back your exercise calories but be sure it's accurate as it's easy to overestimate calorie burns - maybe buy a heart rate monitor).
(3) take an honest look at your diet and make changes to make sure that you are getting adequate protein and fats and eating a basically well balanced diet with vegetables, fruit, lean protein, and ensuring that you are getting sufficient fiber and micronutrients.
(4) But do not get crazy with trying to eat the perfect diet. Allow yourself some treats. This both helps keep you sane and keeps you from rage quitting when you finally succumb to an urge and beat yourself up (been there!)
(5) weigh and measure your food so that you are honestly eating only what you think you are.
(6) start a strength training program to ensure that you RETAIN you current muscle mass while losing weight.
(7) I suggest also doing cardio as your cardiovascular health is important.
(8) don't weigh yourself at all for the first month. Heck, throw away your scale and focus on clothing size instead. But in any event, don't weigh yourself more than once a week and be consistent with the time of day.

This is what I did and do. It does work.

There are also some fabulous detailed posts out there like the "Roadmap" and the group "Eat Train, Progress" both written by smarter people than I. I am sure there are also others.

I have nothing to add.

whitecapwendy

It has taken me years to find what works for me. I finally decided to study what healthy eating really is. I eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies. I buy broccoli and baby carrots (and do some variety to keep things interesting) and make baggie of a mixture of thre veggies for the week (every Saturday routine), so when I am hungry, I grab a baggie of veggies. another thing I love is cut up fruit on baby spinach leaves. One bite of fruit with a few spinach leaves needs no dressing.

When I did this a couple years ago, I would go to bed clutching my stomach because I was hungry. That is when I realized that I was not putting enough whole grain in my diet. I will do whole grain breads and cereals (watching portion sizes). I especially love the Brownberry alSandwich thins. It allows me a whole roll for 100 calories. I keep the meats lean and watch portion size. This helps keep calories down as well.

I try to keep my net calories between 1200-1400. (this means after I have exercised I have ea ten back at least some of those calories). I try to eat 4 meals a day of between 300 and 400 calories. My body responds to this and weight melting off seems almost effortless. One thing I have had to learn is the difference between hunger and appetite. When I am wanting to keep eating after eating my portion of food I will wait about 20-25 minutes and realize that I am really satisfied. If my stomach is hurting, I realize that I am hungry and do something about it.

I am determined to make healthier eating a life choice, but to make it last, I have learned that I need to make some modifications. While I do not crave sweets much since not eating refined sugar, I also find that once in a while I feel deprived, so I am allowing myself an occasional meal where I watch portions, but enjoy something "unhealthy" that I love. And when the goodies are around, I will enjoy a taste, a bite, or a very small portion.

Another key is drinking a lot of water. I have over 100 pounds to lose, so my water intake needs to be at a high levewl. I usually drink anywhere from 80-120 ounces of water a day.

This works for me. I don't know what will work for you

maddymama

I haven't read the other answers, but here's my response....
1) Look at it as a series of choices. Reward yourself for the good choices.
2) I can control what I eat and how I workout. I cannot control specifically the number on the scale. I can choose to go workout, I can choose to eat a bit healthier. Some weeks it shows on the scales, some weeks it doesn't. That does not stop me from continually trying to make good choices and make less bad choices.

alijane9

Are you actually trying to lose weight?
I only ask cos at one time I thought I wanted to weigh xxxlbs and as time has gone on I have realised that what I actually want is to be healthy, have good skin, not to have my stomach hanging over the top of my trousers & back fat, be fit enough to walk a few miles without getting out of breath, enjoy swimming again, put my shoes on without falling over (what is that when you are fat???).
So, I have a different mindset. Everything I do can help me reach my goal - that might be eating a certain amount of calories, but it also might be focusing on eating the right amount of protein (for me) every day or eating loads of green veggies with every evening meal. It might also be working out how many times I can commit to the gym and then committing to it. I try and work out one thing I can change that gets me a bit nearer to where I want to be - nothing drastic, no willpower required, just changing one thing (I have a horrible feeling that there is a motivational talk/video/book out there with that title...)
Good luck and as others have pointed out, you only fail when you stop trying...

ChubbyBunny212

Years ago I was in your shoes. I'd do well and then....fall off the wagon. UNTIL one day I decided that there was something more important to me than eating anything I wanted. That "something" for me was CLOTHES. I wanted to look great in clothes. I wanted to shop for cute clothes. I wanted a closetful of cute clothes....and the only way I could get what I wanted was to make intelligent choices in the foods I ate, So I guess that meant that I couldn't "have my cake and eat it too".

Think about the different ways being overweight has negatively affected your life, for example: maybe it's kept you from doing what you want to do, from being the person you want to be, from getting the things you want to get, going to the places you want to go, having the job you want, or maybe even from having the relationship you always wanted. WHATEVER it is.....make it a PRIORITY over food. You've got to get passionate about it or it just won't matter enough for you to keep at it.

Meamo

one day at a time. don't quit!

pinksparklefairy

Try exercising more rather than reducing your food intake? Maybe start a new hobby like hiking/biking at the weekends with friends. Perhaps you need a more positive approach rather than denying yourself food.

I am three weeks into my diet and have lost barely any weight yet (I assume this is because I'm doing loads of exercise? ) . I feel like ordering pizza sometimes and having a "break" because dieting is no fun - but what's the point? Do you really want to spend years wishing you were slimmer or just go ahead and get it over with?

ldrosophila

seven falls, eight getting up

NutellaAddict

You don't want it enough to succeed.

mrsmarit

She's deactivated her account now.

meeper123

Oh how sad

avocado22

Keep going. Sometimes pushing through something when its super tough results in the greatest results in the end. Don't give up on yourself and just remember this is all for you!

beattie1

What a pity! No-one said anything critical or unsupportive. Maybe next time she'll be able to keep going. :sad:

Francl27

What a pity! No-one said anything critical or unsupportive. Maybe next time she'll be able to keep going. :sad:

Haha. Well, here's my answer.: there's no magic. You just got to be motivated enough. If you're not motivated and determined for a lifestyle change, you'll just keep failing. And nobody can give you that motivation.

It took me 14 years to be ready to do it, personally. And I think that this time it will stick... but who knows.

FrnkLft

I think this often happens because you start with an initial burst of motivation, then it wanes.

This is an awesome article that I hope you will take the time to read. I'm sincere when I say it could change your understanding here:

http://jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits