Definition of supportive

1PatientBear

I see many people ask for supportive friends on here. I'm curious about something. When a person asks for support, they are generally looking (in my opinion) for one of the two following types of people:

Type A - very encouraging, always focuses on the positive, tells you good try when you didn't quite make your goal and always tries to leave you feeling better about yourself

Type B - claims to be very honest, even if he/she comes off a little mean from time to time, focuses on the positive but points out the negative, holds you accountable when you miss your goals and is more concerned about results than feelings

Which of these people appeals to you more?

KML617

I like a little bit of both! I want my friends to be supportive when I do good, but give me the honest truth when I'm in need. More than anything I like people who give good advice when I'm asking for help in a certain department.

And... best of all a friend needs to be able to make me laugh... we all need to smile through this process.

jacksonpt

Most definitely B. I have no use for smoke blowing. If I don't do what I'm supposed to do, I want someone to kick me in the *kitten*.

Calliope610

I want Type B supportive friends, with just a bit of Type A thrown in, to celebrate with me when I achieve my goal or do something really awesome. But don't preach to me, just share your personal experience and let me take it from there.

Oh, and don't ever tell me "you can't" or "you won't" because, come hell or high water, I will!

VoodooLuLu

I like A but I need B so I have both!!

elainecroft

I want Type A's to understand that Type B's are being supportive in their own way (and vise versa)

cmriverside

I don't define Support as agreeing with my every neuroses.

I do define Support as answering questions honestly.

A lot of the members here define support as, "agree with everything I do, and tell me how beautiful I am."

There are a lot of Princesses here. :ohwell:

BeautifulHez

Type A here. I have no use for negative energy. Add me!

BurtHuttz

Pollyanna has been my friend from time to time. I cut that ***** fast. She always says "great defriend!!!1! <3<3"

Duck_Puddle

I handle type B all by myself. I need type A's around to remind me to celebrate the little things and quit beating myself up.

Just wanted to add that I don't see type A as necessarily being less honest than the type B, but I suppose it depends on the person and what they are supporting. Reminding someone like me to remember & celebrate the small achievements is not being dishonest. I am already berating myself for only losing .4 lbs, it's my type a friends that remind me that losing .4 IS an achievement.

_noob_

Type C.

Actually responds occasionally when I ask questions or post something. Sometimes has useful information, but mainly is just "there".

iulia_maddie

I found that when people say "supportive" on here, they just want someone who agrees with them no matter what. Everyone else is a bully.
A kick in the butt or a sarcastic remark is often better support than saying "yeah go ahead and live on water for 5 days". I wish people would see it.

ShannonS2714

Definitely B....but as long as they are involved with you. I don't want someone that is just a FL place holder. I want someone that interacts, gives opinions, answers questions, and gives some pick me ups when needed!

But, I want HONESTY....not someone that's just going to say what I want to hear....there's no room for that in this journey.

PaigeAnderson100

I can't say that I prefer one over the other. I absolutely love when people are overly nice, push me to do my best and congratulate me with any achievements but, than I do like a bigger push, someone who will hold me accountable and someone who is going to be honest with me and let me know if I have screwed up.

I really like my family to be Type B just because, I expect full honesty from family since- that's just the way it should be. I expect them to want me to succeed and show me that they care when I am falling off the wagon.

I really like friends or "strangers" to be Type A just because, I enjoy the recognition and congratulatory compliments that I get from those who I am not the closest to. It's also important for me to pat myself on the back once in a while and not always be Type B-ing it.

Thanks for posting this. It's crazy to see how different all of our opinions are.

Vain_Witch

I like a little bit of both! I want my friends to be supportive when I do good, but give me the honest truth when I'm in need. More than anything I like people who give good advice when I'm asking for help in a certain department.

And... best of all a friend needs to be able to make me laugh... we all need to smile through this process.

^^This!!!

__RANDY__

Type B - claims to be very honest, even if he/she comes off a little mean from time to time, focuses on the positive but points out the negative, holds you accountable when you miss your goals and is more concerned about results than feelings

If you need more friends like this, send me a request.

Sweet_Gurl_Next_Door

this!
Type A here. I have no use for negative energy. Add me!

RyanJK85

I like a little of both...Need them people who will kick you in the *kitten* when needed, but also the people who say nice try, get to it tomorrow....B is the best for motivation though because you just know what you are getting when you fail.

Indyimp

I like a little bit of both! I want my friends to be supportive when I do good, but give me the honest truth when I'm in need. More than anything I like people who give good advice when I'm asking for help in a certain department.

And... best of all a friend needs to be able to make me laugh... we all need to smile through this process.

Exactly this ^^^

lioness803

I like a little of both, most of my friends are more Type A and I love them all! I hope that if I was ever really slacking or wanted to do something stupid, my friends would be honest with me.

sassafrascas

I need both! I need more friends that are a type B I think. if thats you add me.

thrld

Type B - claims to be very honest, even if he/she comes off a little mean from time to time, focuses on the positive but points out the negative, holds you accountable when you miss your goals and is more concerned about results than feelings

I see nothing wrong with wanting support to be from either Type A or Type B. I only have issues with people who THINK they are Type B, but really are Type C - negative criticism and punishing or dismissive.

quiksylver296

Most definitely B. I have no use for smoke blowing. If I don't do what I'm supposed to do, I want someone to kick me in the *kitten*.

B. Too much A feels fake.

mountaingirl2207

I really don't care, as long as they're funny and can put a cohesive sentence together.

amylite

to me, supportive can be celebrating my successes, being understanding of my choices, not sabotaging - regardless of your own opinions. let's make that Type D

Otterluv

I like type B. But, what I've found is that they are totally encouraging as well as honest. I like it when people call me on any BS, but tell me "yay" when I conquer the world.

ShinyFuture

[/quote] I see nothing wrong with wanting support to be from either Type A or Type B. I only have issues with people who THINK they are Type B, but really are Type C - negative criticism and punishing or dismissive.
[/quote]

Yes. And to add to the Type C traits that I can do without - the self-determined 'expert' - the ones who know the one, true way on any given subject and everyone else is therefore wrong. A mix of A and B is fine. I'm always amazed by people who always see the bright side, but I love to have their support and like it nicely balanced by the B's who don't shy away from some hard truths when it's appropriate.

k8eekins

I see many people ask for supportive friends on here. I'm curious about something. When a person asks for support, they are generally looking (in my opinion) for one of the two following types of people:

Type A - very encouraging, always focuses on the positive, tells you good try when you didn't quite make your goal and always tries to leave you feeling better about yourself

Type B - claims to be very honest, even if he/she comes off a little mean from time to time, focuses on the positive but points out the negative, holds you accountable when you miss your goals and is more concerned about results than feelings

Which of these people appeals to you more?

When I'd first entered into MFP Type Bs were allover the place ... Loved it ~ Learnt from them ~ Processed their prompters ~ Considered each and all ~ Tried it ~ All I've been doing now since then, has been as they'd advised individually/collectively (SideSteel/Sarauk2sf/Acg67 via my sister) building up on my calories to accommodate my workout routines' load on any given day to shed the unwanted fat but to retain/build lean muscle ~ body recomposition.

bcattoes

Unless it was someone that knew me any my goals really well, I'd prefer A.

My experience with this site is most people who are type B are more concerning with preaching their goals than really trying to help you meet your own.

MSeel1984

I get the feeling that you are looking for a specific answer to this question...

Did something inspire this thought?

cmriverside

I really don't care, as long as they're funny and can put a cohesive sentence together.

Bah ha. I wish I'd said that!

Really important IMO!!