No standards anymore?

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  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    For the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, mind your freakin' business.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    I think it depends on where each person is at in their life.

    My husband and I were both coming out of nasty divorces and in our 30s.
    We knew what we wanted but more importantly we both knew what we DIDN'T want.

    We got to a point where we both looked at each and asked, "where are we headed?"
    We decided that we were at a point where we didn't want to mess around with dating and went to "courting" where we were preparing to be married and the end goal was marriage.

    We broke all the post-divorce "rules": you should wait at least two years to even consider dating again, etc. etc...
    We started dating before his divorce was final ( I was only 2 months out) and we were married a year after we met.
    The "experts" say we should be divorced again by now.
    We've been together 14 years.

    Staying happily married is another thread... :wink:
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    For the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, mind your freakin' business.

    ^^^^ Tim asked me to marry him after the first week...

    It was weird at first, but now..it's still weird.
  • NotRailMeat
    NotRailMeat Posts: 509 Member
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    engaged =/= married
    &
    Who really cares if THEY make what YOU think is a mistake.
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
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    OP so you're saying he just randomly popped up on your FB? You weren't searching him out? :huh: You sound jealous. Maybe rightfully so, you obviously had/have feelings for him. But I feel you're being judgemental. You could meet someone and marry them the next week and be together 50 years, or date them 6 years, be engaged 3 and only last 2. I would try not to worry so much about other people's personal lives. It's really none of your business. (even though most people flaunt all aspects of their lives on the Internet these days.)
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
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    Oh-and my guess as to why he called it off all of the sudden was because he was dating you both and chose her. They could have been together for a long time now.
  • itsHealthy
    itsHealthy Posts: 119 Member
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    May be they were together longer than that and you may not have known!
    Either way- these things are hard ...stay strong! Wishing you luck!
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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    I knew my husband for 2 months and was married in 5 months after the day we met. In June we will be married for 20 years. It's not necessarily the length of time becasue we are all constantly changing, it's the committment that people are willing to give to the marriage. There is no respect for the union anymore I think THAT is where the problem is...just my opinion :happy:

    THIS! I do not believe that it has anything to do with how long you spend together. When it's right, it's right. The problem is that nobody wants to actually follow through with their promise of "Through Good or Through Bad, For Richer or For Poorer". A marriage isn't something that happens because you magically meet prince charming and birds carry your veil to the alter. Marriage is the promise commit to a person whom you love and are willing to work to maintain your love. Marriage is a full time job. One of my favorite quotes is in the following picture:

    541800_282379245176208_179680302112770_654500_1798676815_n.jpg?w=620
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    I knew my husband for 2 months and was married in 5 months after the day we met. In June we will be married for 20 years. It's not necessarily the length of time becasue we are all constantly changing, it's the committment that people are willing to give to the marriage. There is no respect for the union anymore I think THAT is where the problem is...just my opinion :happy:

    THIS! I do not believe that it has anything to do with how long you spend together. When it's right, it's right. The problem is that nobody wants to actually follow through with their promise of "Through Good or Through Bad, For Richer or For Poorer". A marriage is something that happens because you magically meet prince charming and birds carry your veil to the alter. Marriage is the promise commit to a person whom you love and are willing to work to maintain your love. Marriage is a full time job. One of my favorite quotes is in the following picture:

    541800_282379245176208_179680302112770_654500_1798676815_n.jpg?w=620

    Love this^
  • markymarrkk
    markymarrkk Posts: 495 Member
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    LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IS ACTUALLY LUST AT FIRST SIGHT THAT WORKED OUT. -some random quote I read sometime ago
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    It doesnt matter how long you've been with someone. My parents were high school sweethearts, they dated all through high school, got married at 18, and then had me. Five years later they were divorced. I know people who have only known each other a few months before getting married and they are still together. So, it just depends on the people and how well they go together.
  • orapronobis
    orapronobis Posts: 460 Member
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    My mom and dad were engaged 3 weeks after meeting and married 9 weeks after becoming engaged. Their marriage lasted their lifetimes. On my first date with my husband, I had an overwhelming feeling that this was the person I would marry - that was 30 years ago and we seem to grow deeper in love and happier every year. However, I do recognize that my parents' and my experience are the exception, not the rule.
  • Jonette01
    Jonette01 Posts: 38 Member
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    I'm confused...


    & you should let it go...

    I think we all are. Sounds like you haven't moved on with your life... or became a stalker. :wink:
    Maybe that "thing" with you showed him exactly what he wants/doesn't want... and the new girl (could've known her in the past) was exactly what he was looking for. Hey... he liked and he put a ring on it.

    Could be a late April Fool's joke too. FB stalking isn't the best way to find out about someone. It's kinda creepy. :noway:

    Either way, he probably made a good decision because instead of you being the type of woman to go forward and SHOW him what he missed out on, by continuing on confidently... you're studying what HE found after he cut YOU loose.

    Come on ladies... standards start with yourself.

    "If it's meant for you, you won't have to beg for it. You will never have to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny.” -Chelsis Porter.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    For the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, mind your freakin' business.

    ^^^^ Tim asked me to marry him after the first week...

    It was weird at first, but now..it's still weird.

    But we are working past the weirdness!! We do Rock Paper Scissors to determine who gets to be on top that night.
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
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    I think we are redefining standards. Grandma and grandpa met, courted and were married for over 50 years. They didn't live together, date for years or in large part didn't get forced into a shotgun marriages. That was standards then. We don't have those kinds of standards today and look what it has done to the family.

    Courting was sometimes really formal, too. My grandmother used to talk about what it was like when my grandfather-to-be would visit...the whole family sat in the parlor with him and made polite conversation. This was their sole interaction other than seeing his family at church. She was convinced my grandfather was there to see her older sister (and her older sister was apparently certain he was there to see her, too)...but when he met with their father, that's not the one he picked.

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